Oh, how is it going you ask? Well, it is 9:15 and I have a screaming headache. Does that tell you anything?
I have been fighting with E for two days. He knows I do not like his parents because they do not like me. I have tried with them. For eleven years I have tried for nothing and now I do not want to try anymore. I am done.
If I stay around my kids they think I am hovering and controlling, and if I leave them alone with the kids I am being snotty and anti-social. I can't win.
I realize now I will never win. I just want to exist.
They have made snotty comments to me and behind my back, telling E that they have "to walk on eggshells with me or they are scared they will never see their grand kids again". Bullshit.
They never see their grandchildren because they decided to move to Florida in a fit of early retirement and although we didn't have children yet, they did have a 3 & 4 year old grandchildren they left here in NJ. Woe is me.
If you feel guilty about leaving, well how is that my problem?
E doesn't want to hear it anymore because it puts him in a strange position and I understand it is not fair to him to hear about how his parents suck. I wouldn't want to hear it, I just want to be defended more instead of staying silent so it can pass and there is no confrontation.
I have three long days to go and I have to figure out more activities to do to get me out of the house.
You know I have to erase soon, so don't thin you are going crazy if this post is gone very shortly.
3 months ago