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Oh, how is it going you ask? Well, it is 9:15 and I have a screaming headache. Does that tell you anything?
I have been fighting with E for two days. He knows I do not like his parents because they do not like me. I have tried with them. For eleven years I have tried for nothing and now I do not want to try anymore. I am done.
If I stay around my kids they think I am hovering and controlling, and if I leave them alone with the kids I am being snotty and anti-social. I can't win.
I realize now I will never win. I just want to exist.
They have made snotty comments to me and behind my back, telling E that they have "to walk on eggshells with me or they are scared they will never see their grand kids again". Bullshit.
They never see their grandchildren because they decided to move to Florida in a fit of early retirement and although we didn't have children yet, they did have a 3 & 4 year old grandchildren they left here in NJ. Woe is me.
If you feel guilty about leaving, well how is that my problem?
E doesn't want to hear it anymore because it puts him in a strange position and I understand it is not fair to him to hear about how his parents suck. I wouldn't want to hear it, I just want to be defended more instead of staying silent so it can pass and there is no confrontation.
Fuck it.
I have three long days to go and I have to figure out more activities to do to get me out of the house.
You know I have to erase soon, so don't thin you are going crazy if this post is gone very shortly.
7 years ago
That must be awful. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Some people simply cannot be pleased. Tell them you are giving them the gift of quality time spent with their grandchildren and then go catch up with a friend. Spend a day in the city, go see that movie you've been wanting to see. Treat yourself to something so that your day won't be spent avoidng them, but doing something nice for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think you're being too nice to them by not telling them exactly what's going through your mind. Then you get angry with E because you feel you can tell him just what's going on. In the end, the grandparents need to have some boundaries set... and YOU need to set those boundaries and E needs to support you in that effort. I am sure you will be more diplomatic than I would be in the same situation.
ReplyDeleteOh honey. I hate to hear this.
ReplyDeleteCan't change people. And they made their own bed. It would be nice for it all to be different, I know.
Take good care and stay busy. xoxo
Well, if you're going to make them mad either way, I'd get the heck out of there!
ReplyDeleteWasn't there some traditional gift that you could give guests (usually on the 3rd day, but sooner if they are in-laws!) to politely signify "It's time for you to go"......
Are E and my husband brothers? Because I swear this sounds just like my bitch MIL...
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping they leave very very VERY soon.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. My husband's family doesn't like me either, esp. his mother. she would talk about me, in front of me, and he would NEVER defend me, and it was a VERY BIG DEAL FOR ME!!!! finally, I told him that it's not good for me to feel that way, it causes too much stress and I refuse to myself in that place anymore. I excused myself from his family.
ReplyDeletethat was a few years ago, and things are actually better now. But I still won't go to his family's house or do anything like that at all. And we no longer fight about it. If he wants to go and take the kids, I have no problem with that.
But my heart aches for you.
Yuck...
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, E is stuck between a rock and a hard place.
It's easy for someone to say "Don't worry about it, who cares what they say?" but it's not easy to ignore it is it?
I was in the same boat with my ex's parents....those bastards. I'm glad I'm shed of them!