My husband is going away on business (again) tomorrow morning and will not be back until Friday night. Not too bad, but because I have no one else down here, missing him is intensified.
E and I met at work. I didn't want to date him, he persisted and I relented. We spent all of our time outside of work with each other and it was remarkable how close we became in such a little amount of time. Two months after we started dating, he had a trip planned to visit his sister and he asked if I wanted to come. I decided not to because I wanted to move out of my house and I wanted to save money (mistake, live at home as long as you can to save money, ass!). So he left for his small vacation and I was sick the first day. I was tired, I cried all the time and I felt sick. It was pathetic and I knew it but I was also so taken with how hard I fell for him in such a short amount of time. After all, I was so young, what did I know about love?
Right then, I knew I would marry him one day.
Still now more then 10 years after he took that first trip to visit his sister, I get sick when he leaves. Sometimes I sob as I watch the car service pull out of the driveway. Sometimes I just can't look, but I cry when I find the "I Love You" notes throughout the house. Other times I don't cry, but I am so sad, I never feel the same until my husband walks back in to our home and makes me whole again.
After all of these years, I still miss him. We don't have a perfect marriage, believe me we do not. We have had our problems, we have had a lot of stress in the past 4 years, we have raised our kids with virtually no help or breaks. We have had death, we have had health scares, we have had a miscarriage, we have had financial struggles, we have had trust issues. We work through it, we do it together. At the end of the day, I still love him as much as I did so many years ago, when I was too young to know about true love.
Tomorrow I will be so sad as his car pulls out of our driveway, again, but I know I will be OK once he comes back to me, as long as we are together.
2 months ago