Tuesday, June 26, 2007

If You Wait For Me, Then I Will Come For You

My husband is going away on business (again) tomorrow morning and will not be back until Friday night. Not too bad, but because I have no one else down here, missing him is intensified.

E and I met at work. I didn't want to date him, he persisted and I relented. We spent all of our time outside of work with each other and it was remarkable how close we became in such a little amount of time. Two months after we started dating, he had a trip planned to visit his sister and he asked if I wanted to come. I decided not to because I wanted to move out of my house and I wanted to save money (mistake, live at home as long as you can to save money, ass!). So he left for his small vacation and I was sick the first day. I was tired, I cried all the time and I felt sick. It was pathetic and I knew it but I was also so taken with how hard I fell for him in such a short amount of time. After all, I was so young, what did I know about love?
Right then, I knew I would marry him one day.

Still now more then 10 years after he took that first trip to visit his sister, I get sick when he leaves. Sometimes I sob as I watch the car service pull out of the driveway. Sometimes I just can't look, but I cry when I find the "I Love You" notes throughout the house. Other times I don't cry, but I am so sad, I never feel the same until my husband walks back in to our home and makes me whole again.

After all of these years, I still miss him. We don't have a perfect marriage, believe me we do not. We have had our problems, we have had a lot of stress in the past 4 years, we have raised our kids with virtually no help or breaks. We have had death, we have had health scares, we have had a miscarriage, we have had financial struggles, we have had trust issues. We work through it, we do it together. At the end of the day, I still love him as much as I did so many years ago, when I was too young to know about true love.
Tomorrow I will be so sad as his car pulls out of our driveway, again, but I know I will be OK once he comes back to me, as long as we are together.

6 comments:

  1. Sounds like he's now out of the doghouse with the "to me" comment.

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  2. Awwww dang girl!

    Hopefully time will pass quickly before he's home again.

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  3. This week will FLY by, you'll see.

    And I don't have those feelings when my hubby goes out of town. Hm. Love him to pieces, but, well.. nevermind. LOL

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  4. That's so sweet. I hope it flies by for you.

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  5. awww, that is so sweet.

    Me, I kinda like it when my husband goes away, cuz we can eat cereal for supper!

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  6. That was a beautiful post. I hope he knows how much you're about him.

    I may have to read that again. ;)

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