Friday, September 22, 2006

Skip This

First I want to thank all of you that are thinking of me and my family and sending prayers. I don't know if you know that is really is comforting and very sweet of you. I really, really appreciate it.
Now for my venting, and really, you should skip this shit because I am pissed now and you don't need all this negativity.

I am so fucking tired.
Tired of problems, tired of the last three years being nothing but struggles and life altering events.
I am tired of death. I miss my Dad so much at times like this, he always knew what to do to make me feel better and I would snuggle under his arms and his grasp, just the sheer feeling of his arms around me would make me feel comforted.
I am tired of being so far away from all of my family. Yesterday E worked all day and then went to his second job that he took to pay for the kids preschool, and the kids were just tired and cranky and so was I. I just wanted someone to come and take care of the kids while I napped and cried by myself.
I am tired of struggling with our finances.
I am tired of cancer and sadness.
I am tired of biopsies, of getting blood tests, of surgeries and of doctor appointments.
I am just so sick and tired.

9 comments:

  1. Hey, Tuesday. I just left a comment on your previous post, and when I refreshed, this new one was up. Saying "I'm sorry" won't help you feel any better right now, so I am going to skip that.

    But I just wanted to say that I am reading, and I am thinking of you and I am trying to send some energy your way (just to get through today). Hold on, hang on. Of course, I get the feeling that you already are...

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  2. You have to let it out somehow. And we are here to listen and help anyway we can.

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  3. ronda9:37 AM

    i sorry that things have been so difficult the last 3 years but hopefully things can only go up from here on out

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  4. I hear you. I can't offer any words of wisdom ,as I still have yet to figure out how to stop the madness happening over here. But know that I am thinking of you, and really if you need to talk feel free to e-mail me. I listen well. Even for an internet 'stranger'.
    Lots of love and hugs, Tuesday.

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  5. I don't know you but I do enjoy reading your blog. I am so sorry for you loss....I know it doesn't help much, but it is heartfelt.

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  6. Melanie Marie11:48 AM

    'I'm sorry' seems so trite but it is really how I feel. I can't begin to imagine your pain and anger.

    What can a person say?
    Nothing really.

    I hear you, I care and I am thinking of you.

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  7. The prayers for you are there, but more than that maybe what you need to know is that all these people DO want to see what you have to say. They didn't want to skip it because it was negative. We care, and hopefully that will give you a little something to go on.

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  8. Feel free to vent...everyone has their ways of dealing.

    My family has been having some bumps in the road and when I read of your news I felt so terrible and ashamed of myself for blowing up about things that are maybe not so important in the long run...far from not wanting to read your post it truly made me think. Again, my best thoughts going out to you.

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  9. Believe me, I know things can get rough but the good news is that things WILL get better....it's good to let all the frustration out..it does help. You can vent to us!

    I hope you are feeling a little better :)

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