Tuesday, April 24, 2007

"Well, they gave me gonorrhea!" "Who? The government?"

I just came back from the happiest place on Earth.
No, not Disney the OBGYN! I swear, I hate getting my exam, but it is a necessary evil. I try to make myself feel better, but remembering Madonna even has to get the "exam" as well as Barbara Bush. I don't know why this makes me feel better, but it does.

I took pictures! Why wouldn't I? I did have 30 minutes to kill before I saw the doctor. It should surprise me I had to wait so long because my appointment was 9:30am but it doesn't because this office is notorious for their wait. I do so love my doctors, so I put up with it. For now. But the bitch behind the counter who made me get up and fill out a tiny space on the forms which were insignificant to anything I was there for, my insurance or my bod, and on a form I have filled out 569048 times in the past year, watch it because it is just a matter of time before I go off on you. Stop acting like your job is so important that you cannot be bothered to be polite. Whore!

Here we go! Just had my blood pressure taken, and it was perfecto as usual.
These socks that go over the stirrups are mocking me. they know it is a matter of minutes before I hear "a little further down. More. A little more".

Here I am trying it out fully clothed for your pleasure. These stirrups are comfy when you have shoes on. Damn! I forgot to wear socks. Good thing E painted my toes last night. Thanks E.

Here I photographed the observable fact which is sweeping the nation and will hereby forever known as H.U.P.

Hidden Underwear Phenomenon

We don't know why we must hide the underwear, especially knowing minutes later someone will be inches away from our whoohas, but we still do it.
This time, I switched things up a bit and instead of stuffing them under a pant leg, I put them in a pocket!
I am so crazy!

Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.

Now I am standing here taking pictures of my stuff while with one hand holding up the thin paper blanket over my front, leaving my bare ass exposed to the door which could be opened at any moment, leaving me so embarrassed I may melt right there.
I live on the edge.

I would have taken more pictures, but I was too scared I was going to get caught. The last thing I need is to be blacklisted at my OBGYN.
Really, that would ruin my whole week.


  1. What else would one due with the panties? Let them hang from one ankle?

  2. Maybe on gyno days, going commando is an option.

  3. dd, maybe just fold them and leave tehm on top of your clothing pile because they are the last thing to come off.

    Kevin, I am not Paris Hilton.

  4. Holy crap that cracks me up! I don't hide the underwear, but I always fold it. Because somehow, folding makes it all better.

  5. Too, too funny! I always hide the underwear under the pants. :)

  6. OMFG-I will always remember this when I am there. Never thought of taking pictures though. I said this the very first time you posted this- you crack my shit UP!

  7. Thanks for that! This post made me laugh! While stuffing my underwear down inside my folded pants sitting on the chair, I too have always wondered why on earth I feel the need to hide my undies when the doc's going to be inspecting my hooha in a matter of minutes...GLAD to know I'm not the only one!


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