Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Grooming for My Doctor? Why Do I Care?

I didn't get the message from God to build an Arc.
I am so sick of this rain.

Today I can't talk about how shitty this world is, or how the 5 days of rain and winds are driving me insane.


No, I am warning you, today I am going to talk about pubic hair.
Get out now while you can. Just click that little red x in the upper right hand corner.

OK, well here we go. I cannot bring myself to get a Brazilian wax. I just can't get on all fours in front of anyone, never mind someone ripping hairs from my innermost sensitive places. At least not without a promised orgasm.
I have been the recipient of a regular old bikini wax. It is fine, it hurts but what doesn't?
So, I have taken to shaving.
Everything.
It is a menacing task which requires you to contort your body into positions not easily achieved and various tools. AND unless you like stubble you have to do it often. It is a bitch but I do it.

Which brings me to my problem. I have a gyn appointment next week and I am too embarrassed to show up hairless.
I have no idea why, I mean it is common nowadays and really, who cares what my doctor thinks of my grooming practices. After all it takes quite a while so why not show it off?!
I guess I will let some grow in so as not to be so embarrassed. really what I should do is write the words " I know, I know, scoot down more" for my doctor but alas, I am not that hairy.

12 comments:

  1. He will have the cover over you and won't even realize you are hairless.

    Even if he does, that seems to be the "in" thing right now.

    No worries!

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  2. LOL don't worry, I groom too! Don't know why. I mean they see them everyday but somehow you don't want to be the one remembered as the one with the crazy looking cootch! LOL.

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  3. Being bald will not nearly be as memorable or as controversial as if you were to show up with fake fur double-stick-taped to your Netherlands.

    Especially if you can find the leopard or tiger print kind.

    Rowwwrrrrrr.

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  4. DD, no glue sout of the border!
    I was going to buy a pubic wig.

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  5. I have a doc appointment too next week and I was thinking will he think I am slutty if I show up all waxed? LOL Oh well- to each their own. I am sure he has seen worse before and at least mine is pretty :)

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  6. I think it'd be worse showing up with...well...not exactly stubble...but definitely not a full growth. That's almost like a cooter comb over.

    Of course, I'm not a gyno but I'm pretty sure he's not keeping notches on his desk counting how many girls he's fingered.

    He won't care if you're bald or not. But, for the love of God, hide your panties under your clothes!

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  7. "open your legs a little more...drop your knees to the side a little more..."

    god, I love you! you crack me up. Unfortunately, I'm Italian so I have more than enough hair to write that a little bit more on my cooter.

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  8. I think we all say "oh doctors don't care, they see a hundred _____ a day, they don't pay attention" because it makes us feel better. What if they do make note of interesting things they see? What if there is a doctor's blog that lists all teh weird/gross/strange/ugly/smelly things she has to endure every day?????????

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  9. In my humble opinion, I don't think there's anything weird/gross/strange/ugly/smelly about a shaved yimmy yoo. Not in the least bit.

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  10. Kevin, I know my whoohaa is not any of those things, but what if Drs notice everything!?
    What if after seeing my bareness she writes down "kinky" on my permanent chart?!

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  11. I figure if the doctor is going to take notes, at least make it noteworthy. See, I take the opposite approach, I hate to shave...period. There has to be a "special" occasion for me just to shave my legs. And when I say "special" I mean wedding, graduation, etc... I gave up long ago worrying about whether my doctor was "freaked out" by my hairy legs. At my 8 yr. olds birth my girlfriend was mortified that I didn't shave for it.

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  12. Is that the same permanent chart that your teachers in high school were always going on about? "Tuesday, if you forget to do your homework again, I'll have no choice to put it on your permanent record!"

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