Tuesday, April 10, 2007


My birthday was great. Cake was involved so, how can the day be bad? We have eaten three different cakes in four days. Not a bad record, if you ask me.

One of my birthday gifts from my husband is an hour massage at my hair salon/spa tomorrow. The appointment has been made with the "best" masseuse.
I have to get into a mindset to get my massage, which I indulged in often BK (before kids) but I realized I haven't had one since a pregnancy massage when I was 8 months pregnant. I am due.
I have to keep calm and not worry during my massage, are my legs hairy? does anything about me smell? don't pull that towel down too much my fat is hiding! are my boobs peeking out? do I have back fat? Ohhhh, her hand is going up a little high on my thigh, is she going to touch it? That is too high! Alert, alert, she is going to touch my vagina, easy lady!

Oh things like that don't go through your mind when you have a massage? You must be normal.

I am not.

Not to mention I still get mad at myself tucking my underwear under my clothes like I do at my gyn's office, but I have to do it.
I mean, there is nothing like making sure nobody sees your underwear on a chair, in the corner, when you are lying nude on a table and going to be touched all over by another woman.

BTW, when/if you get massages do you always go with a women or man?


  1. I've never had one done, but I still have two gift cert's from when I was pregnant that I have to use...
    But personally I think I would go with a woman...I don't know why.
    *and I totally tuck my undies everywhere I go, even at the gyno who's going to be looking all up in my cooch anyway...

  2. Anonymous8:39 AM

    I used to live with a massage therapist. No, I didn't get many. Sigh.

    My mother STILL goes to see him for a massage every week. She's in love with him. He's an ass.

    I don't think it matters to me if it's a woman or a man. They just need to have strong hands. Just close your eyes and enjoy, and don't worry about your bod!

  3. I have never requested to have a man or a woman. I am just happy to get a massage that anyone can do it. I have only had women though up to this point. I did have a gay guy give me a facial once and it was the best I have ever had.

  4. OMG!!!!! I think you're really Me on another blog! I think those same. exact. things!

    1. ALWAYS hide the undies...look, he's already got an eyefull of your cooter, he doesn't need the bra and panties to go with it.

    2..My hubs bought me a massage for my 40th birthday...did I ever use it? NO!!!! I was afraid! I admit it...I didn't go. I wish I had enough guts to go, but I am a chicken. for all the reasons you wrote.

  5. Ok I am a guy but I have had the same thoughts. I have had a number of massages and loved them all but those thoughts are going through my mind too. The first one I got, she told me to undress and after she left the room I thought...How far? But I did take it all off and wrapped that towel tightly around me only to have her adjust it and then those thoughts started. Can she see too much, wow her hands are getting close etc etc. Then we (men) have that other scarry thought, omg is something enjoying this too much? Did it move? In the end(no pun intended), nothing was touched, I don't know about the view and nothing moved, :)Whew what a relief.

  6. I have had great massages from women and men. it doesn't matter. If a man, I rather him be gay. Once a man gave me a great massage with STONES!! I had paid for the regular massage but he added it free and it was wonderful!

  7. I got a massage at nine and a half months pregnant, about ten days before I delivered. My body had a mind of it's own at that point and not only did my stomach growl the entire time, my boob also popped out about fifty times.

    And I always hide my underwear.

  8. I'm the same way...I know I'd be too neurotic to enjoy a real massage. The closest I get is the massage therapist at my chiropractor. She's great, and you don't even take your clothes off.

    Anytime I go to any doctor that requires removing of undies, they get hidden. If I have to change at the beach they even get folded and put in the pocket of my pant/shorts, which are then folded. That way one of the kids doesn't accidentally pull them out of the beach bag when looking for a snack!

  9. LOL - this cracks me up. I AM a massage therapist, and I think the SAME THINGS. Especially with the vagina touch alert system! And I hide my undies, too. However, during training / school, you see body parts galore, so I'm over the whole 'am I fat' etc train of thought. You should SEE some of the hygiene people have during a massage. I've seen (and touched) a lot of things that had you asked me 5 years ago if I would touch, I'd scream "NO WAY" and run the other direction.

    But you get into a groove and a body is just a body - we all have them, imperfections and everything.

    P.S. Hairy legs are the LEAST offensive of them all, ladies. We're mammals. There's SUPPOSED to be hair. :)

  10. We are all weird together, I love that!
    My neurosis doesn't stop me from my massage, it hinders it if I let it get away from me, so ladies remember get your massage it really is awesome.

    AM, when are you moving to my street so I can have massages every day? Plus, I want to hear ALL of your stories!


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