Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Life Before Parenthood

If you asked me four months ago if I thought my life would change with another addition to my family, I would have told you "not that much". It is like K has always been with our family, but I am just much busier. I am forever nursing him because he is still a slow, lazy eater. I know he doesn't have any other plans for the day but to hang out with boob in his mouth, but I do.
I also never get done with laundry and cleaning, but what mother does?
Life has changed since I became a mom in ways I never thought:

Life Before I Was a Mom (LBM): I would take risks,
I could leave a job if I hated it and take my time to find another, I would eat at McDonalds, I would show up to work after being out all night
Life Now (LN): I am still risky, sometimes I put the baby down before he is fully asleep which usually bites me in the ass, but hey, I like to live on the edge.

LBM: Weed
I knew some people who would smoke the stuff, and maybe I would have been in a poorly ventilated room with said people, and unfortunately may have inhaled some of it. Maybe.
LN: weeds are the things that I don't have enough time to pull out from my gardens

LBM: I did not know about things like hands free breast pumps, why there are so many different types of strollers and which baby gym is better then the other.
LN: I can make a hands free breast pump with a ponytail holder and 3 minutes, I can talk to you about strollers for a good 20 minutes before I get bored and I know which gym is better for your child based on age.
Go ahead ask me. I dare you.

There are plenty of other things that have change, but I have to go stick a boob in someones face. Come to think of it, that is another thing that has changed, the boobs in the face, it used to only be cute boys. Or to get into good NYC clubs.
Now it is just one 12 pound sweet boy.

What about you, what do you know now, you didn't before you were a parent?


  1. Anonymous3:37 PM

    poop...I could have cared less about how many times a person poops in a day or what it looked like.... now that Im a mom poop is a big thing... in the potty or on the floor. In a diaper...leaking out or just smelly... green, yellow, brown, or black... all these things are so much more important than I ever dreamed they would be!!!

  2. ya, when mine were little, poop was a BIG deal...in the diaper and then in the potty. And who knew that my little boobs could have fed triplets!!??? I had milk for days!

    now, I would think that as my kids get older, sex would be more frequent....nope. less in fact. That stinks.

  3. never in my wildest dreams would I ever think that providing them with a good education would be a challenge. ...and why does it seem like I'm in the third (or eighth grade) also? I don't remember my mother having homework.

  4. Kristi9:41 AM

    Before? Well, the whole "I'm gonna be the cool parent" thing.

    Now? Don't give a shit if they think I'm cool or not. However, I DO admit (and enjoy) that my kids are constantly talking about having the cool mom even though she's a bitch if you don't follow the rules.

    I never cared much about poop... except that I was DETERMINED that they would be potty trained early. If they know they're gonna poop or can tell you that they did, then it should be in a toilet. Best thing I ever did for myself! (both kid done by 15 mos old)

  5. ponytail holder? Do tell....

  6. OMG its been 4 months already? Wow I've been a really bad blogger & haven't been to visit you in forever it seems! But I'm with you, when I had my first I thought maternity leave was an extra vacation! Little did I know when my girl slept that's when I really had to WORK! Laundry, bottles, shower, deoderant and if i was lucky *gasp* make up! Then I had baby #2, in less than 4 years & I gave up eyeliner. Forever. lol


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