Observations

I have made some observations in the last few days that I would love to share:

peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are highly under rated

The past two times I have been in Target someone has been in front of me writing a check. I didn't know people still wrote checks in stores and secondly it was the 10 items are under lane, so, lets take out the old plastic and keep the line moving.

The man Sayid trapped thinking he was an other said he got on the island by a hot air balloon and the name he gave was the name of Dorothy's uncle in the wizard of oz. Strange or no?!

Are the pussycat dolls still around because I really hate them and their "music"

Is it me or are more ladies rocking the Bruce Lee haircut then ever before? I am not pro BL hair.

and lastly
I wish I could get a massage every day. I love a good massage and it just make you feel so much better about yourself and your dirty house.
Dontcha think?

Monday

I loved your guilty pleasures! I am not alone in being strange, what a concept. I noticed a lot of you have odd things you dip your fries in. I say be free, dip your fries in mayo and ranch dressing and tartar sauce in public and be proud.
We all need to come out of our own fry closet.
Hi, I am Tuesday and I love dipping my fries in my chick-fil-a BBQ sauce*.

I also forgot another guilty pleasure movie of mine, Fools Rush in with Selma Hayek and Matthew Perry. It is bad and good all at the same time.


This weekend we had the kids birthday party at a kids gym type place. They were in love, but not at first, at first they were crabby, and shy.
My kids who are never shy and are only crabby when I am alone with them.
The first 25-35 minutes of what will now be known as themostexpensivethreeyearoldbirthdaypartyintheworld, were spent asking E & I to hold them and burying their faces in our shirts.
Then finally they got into it and played with their cousins and friends. But for awhile there it was touch and go.
We had a great time and the kids finally had a birthday party.

Now no more parties until I know they will have full recollection of it for many, many years.


*Chick-fil-a BBQ sauce should be able to be purchased in vat forms and I would buy a vat and bathe in it because I am in love with the sauce. I really love it and stock pile it in my cabinets.
The sauce is the boss.

You Are My Obsession

I was caught watching my guilty pleasure movie this past weekend. I have to watch it everytime it is on and I kinda hate myself for it.
The movie is : Selena.

That is right, Jennifer Lopez's breakout part. There is just something about it, the over done red lipstick, the fact that the woman who plays her Mother is as young as her, the sad, true story of her life.
I am just hooked. Love it.
Other guilty pleasures are: any documentary on MTV, Funions on a bagel with cream cheese, Pretty Woman and popping E's pimples.

I know you will never think of me in the same way.

What are your guilty pleasures?

Check It Out

One of my best friends went to her gynecologist around the same time I did in December.
Her doctor found a lump in her thyroid too and ordered blood tests. Hers came back fine, so did mine. I also went for an ultrasound which caught the "lump" on my thyroid. I went home & told her to get an ultrasound too because my thyroid function test came back normal as well, but well, there was something on it.
I went straight to a biopsy (which hurt like HELL, btw) and the cells came back "suspicious".

She just found out she too has a lump on her thyroid. Now she will have to go for a biopsy.

How freaky is that? Bottom line is, everyone woman needs to get their thyroid checked, by blood work and a head and neck exam. Your doctors should be doing this and even your dentist.
Thyroid problems are very common in women, and it can be inherited.

I will be having my operation at the end of March with the "World's Best Thyroid Man" where they will remove my right thyroid lobe and perhaps my left if it turns out to be cancer. I have a 80% chance it is benign.
Such great news for me and my family. I remain cautious but optimistic and have had great friends helping me out with support and advice. You guys are just great.
Virtual strangers reaching out to help and lend an ear. I love it. I love you.

Now go out and get your exams!
Right now, this means you.

Sick

My kids are sick again. They haven't been sick for 12 months and now they have been sick twice in the last three months.
We are going to the doctor this morning, I just want to get them checked out. They are having their birthday party on Saturday so I pray they are ok by then. We spent so much money on this party and it will be their first birthday party. They are so looking forward to it and especially because my daughter was sick for Christmas and didn't even open any gifts, I want them to be healthy.

You know what they don't teach you in any baby books or Mom's classes? How to teach a kid to blow their nose.
It is a difficult task to explain but once mastered, very valuable. I try to teach my kids. I scrunch up my nose and make the sound of snot flying out of my nose and into a tissue, but teh kids just sniffle.
Then I need to get a tissue, because now I have loosened up my sinuses.
It is never ending.

Who wants to come over and teach my kids to blow their noses? Oh and then you can potty train them too.

The Yikes! Factor

Two "yikes!" factors today.

First: when I walk into a doctors office for a consultation on something that may or may not be cancer, I do not want your first question to be "do you have a living will".
On second thought I don't want that question asked of me at any appointment including a manicure.

Secondly: My husband has clogged his toilet with two* flushable wipes. Granted he doesn't have the world's best toilet with a history of 0 clogs in the past 13 months, but still.
He is currently in said bathroom with the following paraphernalia; one rubber glove, an old plunger and plastic bags.
AND he has been in there for 8 minutes and counting.

This cannot have a great ending.







* he is sticking to the story that it is only 2.
I don't believe him.

Still Poor

I didn't win big lotto money. Booo hiissss.

Now I am back to being poor. Sigh.

today I have a second opinion with a doctor in my town. I didn't really want to go because I am 100% on board with what the first doctor told me, but I didn't cancel in enough time, so out of courtesy I will go. It will be good to see what this doctor says anyway. It can't hurt.

Now here is a question, why don't they make kid's gloves long like a legwarmers for arms? That way they glove will not come out of the jacket and get that ring around your sleeve, where you arms are red & cold. Long enough to put on, put the jacket on over and your wrists are protected.
I am going to invent that, because I am sick of these tiny kid gloves.

I'm Rich Bitch

If you guys never hear from me again it is because I won an exorbitant amount of money and I will be way to wealthy to write on blogs all day.
I will sail away to a remote island all the while laughing at the little people who wear scrunchies, cannot pay for fine entertainment and have workmen shitting in their bathrooms.

Suckers.

Open Bath

Why is it that every time I have workers in my house, they feel the need to take a ginormous crap in my bathroom?

Yesterday it was the Directv guy. I had to flag the bathroom until I had time to clean it, so the whole day I had to run upstairs to pee and well, I like convenience.
I get that you are in a car all day & you have to pee & poop somewhere but it is like they all talk and know my bathroom is the best, so to hold it until they get here.
I mean I do have the best toilet in the world, but C'mon guys, save some for home.
I wonder if I can win some kind of award for that.

The worst was the alarm guys last year because they whole house smelled for at least 30 minutes. I wanted to die.

I am going to have my upstairs bathrooms redone and now I fear that I will have to rent a porta-potty for when the workers are here.
I will have to send them outside for their craptastic adventures.
The neighbors should love that.

Lust

I am in love with this new bag.

E gave me an awesome pocketbook for Valentine's Day but a girl can always have more, right?

Now that Banana has these handbag lines, I may be there every day drooling instead of just the once a week.

Hotness

So, my great NY doctor wasn't hot, or you know there would have been pictures. He was distinguished with a strong jaw line and attractive personality, but he also was in his 60s. Not really my type. Like I said though, he was great and I feel much better.
My surgery will be in late March and I feel confident about the whole thing.

I finally got an appointment at my salon for a touch up on my highlights and a trim. I really needed both but I was too busy with other things to try and make time for it. I did it yesterday though, and it sure makes a gal feel better doesn't it?
The girl I go to for my haircuts was off yesterday so I went to someone new, Justin. Nice, young, not that cute but nice. Rocker dude, lots of tats, you know they type.
He did a couple of snips of hair on my boob and kind of went for that extra feel, if you know what I mean. He also "measured" my hair in front on my boobs with a little extra feel as well. Hey, I don't mind.
I figure any other feel up besides my husband is bonus for me and the feeler-upper.
It's win/win in my book.
Besides, then I didn't have to tip him so much.

Spirits Are High

I am feeling much better about my "condition". I met with my doctor yesterday and he is terrific. Wise, confident, sweet and very intelligent doctor. He feels very confident that whatever the outcome, I will be back to my normal, healthy self in a matter of months.
I am so with him on that.
I feel great.

On other fronts, V- day was good, E bought me a beautiful pocketbook and scarf. He picked it out all by himself and that made it so much more special and sexy to me.
What a guy, and he is all mine ladies.
Driving into the city was terrible because traffic was horrendous. They also got record breaking snow on Sunday and NYC and snow don't mix very well, it is impossible to walk anywhere without stepping in snow constantly and it is even harder to find parking.
I even overheard something that was so funny, I submitted it to Overheard in NY, and they put it on there.
People, they really crack me up.

Grateful

I just want to thank everyone for their kind words. I received so many emails and comments from good blogger friends to strangers, all with prayers and love.
I couldn't be more grateful.
I started this little blog just to vent and comment on some things, but for me to have developed friendships with other bloggers and to have strangers praying for me and my family, well you don't know how much that means to me.
I will grow stronger and healthier from the love and thoughts that you are sending me.
Thank you all.


I am going to NY tomorrow to visit what many people have called "the best thyroid doctor in the country". I remain positive and I know I will have you guys to bitch to when things get worse before they get better.
Now that is exciting.

The Big Casino

My phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was her.
I had been waiting for her call for days but suddenly I hesitated. I said to myself "this call will change my life" all the while totally aware of my kids laughing and playing a few steps from me.
I answered.
I only remember a few words from the conversation, her words.
Labs, deep breath, cancer, highly recommended, surgery, new doctor, biopsy, atypical cells.

Everything I was dreading for a month, the thing that 99% of people don't get, the thing that was so highly unlikely I would have. Thyroid cancer.

The good news is, it was caught early (I think), that I live by the best hospitals in the world and that I will get very good care. That this is a highly curable cancer and that I am young and strong.
The bad news is I have cancer.

Now if you will excuse me I am going to crawl in bed with my darling husband and my two gorgeous, smart kids.
And if there was any doubt, they are what I will fight for.
With my life.

Hiatus

I am not going to post for a couple of days.
I have had some bad news delivered to me and until I can wrap my head around it, I am no use to anyone.

I will be back soon.

Britney is Crazier Then I Thought

Not only is she stupid for who she married, and her outfit choices should put her behind bars but now she is driving with her 5 month old baby on her lap?
Fucking idiot.

TV

Survivor- I still like this show. The people they chose are so strange. This time they separated them into 4 tribes old bags, young whores, crabby old men and young male whores.
The cranky old men team has an former astronaut on their team, which E & I were talking about and I asked him why people idolized astronauts so much. I mean they send monkeys into space too and lets be honest, when it comes down to being impressed with a man or a monkey going into space you have to go monkey.
Every time, you gotta go monkey.

Superbowl- I wasn't watching the entire thing, but I didn't see any funny commercials. I usually really enjoy SB commercials, so I was disappointed.
When did John Madden become a caricature of himself?

Sopranos- We are no officially counting down days until it starts again. Can't wait.

Tonight

Tonight I am enjoying:
my man
my kids
my warm house
my tv with football blaring
and my nachos



now, I am off to order my main man some hot wings, dammit!

What Kind Of Person Must I Be?

My Aunt called me today to see what I was doing on Sunday.
"Nothing" I replied
"well, Sunday is the anniversary of the day your Dad died" she told me.
My heart hit the floor.
"Oh, yeah, Oh I know, I just didn't know what you meant by doing, yeah well, I will be at the cemetery" I stumbled realizing what kind of idiot I was.

I knew the date my father died, the 5th. Always 5 was my lucky number, the day he died it was no longer.
I hate February, I hate the 5th, I hate cancer, I hate New York, I hate God, I hate living so far away, I hate the winter, I repeated to myself over and over that cold day in February.
It was my mantra.
Into the tunnel: I hate February.
Through central park: I hate cancer.
Into the cavernous parking structure: I hate New York.
Passed the floors and floors of people struggling for life: I hate God.
Into the bathroom to throw up before I could make myself enter his room: I hate living so far away.

It was the day I rushed to New York to the best cancer hospital in the world, only to learn I was too late to say goodbye to my Father.
He was gone.

I hate February, I hate the 5th, I hate cancer, I hate New York, I hate God, I hate living so damn far away, I hate winter.

And now, just two years after that day changed my life forever, I had forgotten.
I could make excuses about my own health, my busied life, that time is slipping by faster now, but nothing will make me feel better about it.
I am sure that I would have remembered eventually, just like the pain when I wake in the moring.
What kind of daughter could I be?
In February, on the 5th, in New York, so far away in the long, cold winter.

Heard

Me: Baby A, you are the bomb!

Baby A: Mommy you are the bomb squad!



Where do they come up with this stuff?