Take Two

The past two weeks I have had a whirlwind of information, thought processing, stressing and worrying going on in my head. It is this season, the things within my family and the fact I have to cook dinner for 12 on Christmas. It is overwhelming.
But I don't mind it that much.
I know after Christmas, I will have the "post holiday blues" that I always get, taking down decorations and packing them away is my most hated chore next to unpacking a suitcase.

Then I will be left with my thoughts, my fears, without any other things to do or priority thoughts to push them out of the way and into a deep dark corner of my brain.
You know, where I push all the good stuff and never deal with it?

Yes, I think it is very healthy too.

In the new year I will try some therapy and deal with the things in the deep, dark corner. Things I swore I would never deal with because I could just forget about it and not allow myself to go back. What could be easier??
Yeah.
I don't think that is the best way anymore, I don't want my kids to be fucked up because of my shit, that is the least I could do for them. I owe it to them.

I doubt I have dealt with my Father's death or even my dog's death properly. Maybe I never dealt with my parent's divorce, or any of the shit life hands each of us.
I am going to try to clean out that corner of my mind, get rid of the negative, dust it off and place some great memories of family and friends there.

That is what I owe myself.