Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Open Letters to God

Dear God,
Why can't I poop? Ever?
Love, Tuesday

Dear God,

Why is Kanye so bitter? He is famous, rich and told people the truth about Bush. He can even sing with his jaw wired shut! Why does he want a silly moon man trophy so bad, doesn't he have it all?
Please cheer him up.
Love, Tuesday

Dear God,
Why does my daughter talk oh so very much? She just never stops talking God. Is this a punishment for that caramel I stole from the pharmacy down the street when I was 7? Because you know, I never ate that caramel God, I was so guilt ridden.
Is it because I lie about my age when I take surveys? I never thought it really mattered to check a box below the age group box I am really in. Everyone lies about their age.
Anywhooooo, Can you make my daughter quiet down a little, like maybe she can only talk 15 hours of the day instead of 19?
Thank you!
Love, Tuesday

8 comments:

  1. You know, I have heard from a lot of people with poop issues lately...what's that all about?

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  2. Kristi8:03 PM

    THAT is funny! I think the only thing that would make it funnier is if you did like Amber on big Brother 8 this year and when she was talking aloud to God she actually said, "God bless you." To God. she is sooooooooo stupid!

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  3. Brooke, creepy

    kristi, I ALMOST SAID "god bless you god" just like Amber, but I didn't think anyone would get it.
    I love that line.

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  4. I just found your blog, very nice! Great post! lol

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  5. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure that God made all the kids that way. I'm not quite sure why they all talk so much. Is there some good reason to have parents driven insane and get them to the point where they no longer can stand the sounds of their child's voice? I don't understand the reasoning of it all, but I'm right there agreeing.

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  6. LOL you're crackin me up! I didn't quite get to read it all cause my kid was talking too.

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  7. Clearly you're not eating enough prune plums.

    Clearly.

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  8. buffy, clearly I am not!

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