Tuesday, February 01, 2005

It is Boring in NJ for a 20 Year Old

Much like many other under age kids in this country, when I was 20 I left my house to intentionally commit a crime. I went to get myself a good 'ol fake ID. For drinking. Lots and lots and lots of alcohol. Yes, me a lush. I am Irish after all, I can't let my peoples down like that.

I set off with a friend of mine and entered a strangers basement filled with DMV paraphernalia, oversized backdrops and computers. I died and went to felony heaven. For $40 I received not one but TWO fake NJ drivers licenses stating that I was indeed 21 years of age. You know what I did with that? I took my ass to South Beach Miami and partied my ass off.* I drank like I had never drank before and nobody in Florida questioned my ID. I finally had a taste of a 21 year olds life, and I was loving it.
The real test was in NJ.

I came back and tried my hand at a few bars and clubs in my area. It worked! I was in heaven. My kidneys were not.
I got cocky.

One Saturday night we went to a small bar in the next town over. I got a bad feeling about it. I tried to talk my friend, her boyfriend and his friend out of going in. They were all over 21 and thought I could pull it off. AS I got closer to the door I saw how hard the bouncers were looking at the ID's. I felt dizzy, I tried again to back off. My friends persisted. I was last in, the bouncer checked my ID out, asked my birthdate, took out the old flashlight. Then he asked a colleague what he thought.
That was when I knew it was all over. That is when I noticed the wall behind him. The wall was filled with fake ID's they had confiscated. I knew I was done.

He took my ID with 2+ months to go until my 21st birthday! How dare he! The fellow we were with was in the process of becoming a cop and tried to talk the bouncer into giving me back my ID, but he failed miserably.
Now I had 2 months of sobriety until my big birthday. It was a loooonngg 2 months.

I never went back to that bar, partly because of spite and partly because I couldn't bear to see my little face hanging on a shitty bar wall with all of those other common criminals.

:sigh: Figures, it was my only great license picture.

* More on this trip in another post.


  1. hey which bar was it?? there is one in the hopatcong area that is famous for its 'wall' is that the one you are on?

  2. It was a bar in Bergenfield. I have no idea what the name of it was.


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