A Well Seasoned Mom

HOW I KNOW I AM AN EXPERIENCED MOM:

Today I was changing my daughters pull-up in a vertical position because I am lazy like that. She gave no warning that she had pooped (it was a rare smell-less poop) and 5 balls of feces fell on my living room floor. I pulled the pull-up back up and went to get some supplies, such as wipes.
When I returned a mere 10 seconds later, someone had arranged the poop balls into a line formation and they were taking turns jumping over them.
They both denied they were the one who touched the poop with their bare hands.
Of course.


I can nap even though small people are driving matchbox cars over me.


I can make a full lunch for two kids in under 3 minutes.


When my daughter put my son's prized stuffed animal into her pee in the potty I calmly took it out and washed it immediately. I didn't cry or yell.


I know when they really want a snack and when they are bluffing just to get the snack, but they have no intention of eating it at all. Even though that is their story and they are sticking to it, remarkable under the line of questioning I am known to give.


I know the quote "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" does not pertain to Moms. We will usually never be fooled or we will fall for it over and over again.


Finally, because I still love them despite my stretch marks and I am willing to do it all over with a new baby.