Last night in bed E told me what a great Mom I was. I want to believe it, but my struggles with being a mother, a mother to twins, doesn't let me believe that for one second.
Motherhood is hard, everyone knows that. Being with my children 24/7 every day for over four years, wears on you. I would like a break, I deserve one, I would love to go on vacation with just my husband, but we can't afford it. Maybe when my in-laws visit next month we will go to Atlantic City for two days and a night or something.
I struggle with the loneliness, boredom, monotony, and sometimes kids who will not stop yelling or fighting with each other.
AND if I ever find the kid at their preschool who taught my kids how to tattle, I will have to hurt him/her. All they do is tattle all of a sudden and sometimes after I hear "She hit me!" for the 786 time, I just tell him to hit her back, because I... just...... can't...... anymore.
It is not something every other mom doesn't feel. We are all trying to keep our heads above water.
It is OK that I don't think I am a good mom, it makes me try harder. Each night when I sneak into their room to watch them sleep, it makes me want to do better the next day.
I guess that is all you can do.
2 months ago