Monday, May 07, 2007

Being Mom

Last night in bed E told me what a great Mom I was. I want to believe it, but my struggles with being a mother, a mother to twins, doesn't let me believe that for one second.

Motherhood is hard, everyone knows that. Being with my children 24/7 every day for over four years, wears on you. I would like a break, I deserve one, I would love to go on vacation with just my husband, but we can't afford it. Maybe when my in-laws visit next month we will go to Atlantic City for two days and a night or something.

I struggle with the loneliness, boredom, monotony, and sometimes kids who will not stop yelling or fighting with each other.
AND if I ever find the kid at their preschool who taught my kids how to tattle, I will have to hurt him/her. All they do is tattle all of a sudden and sometimes after I hear "She hit me!" for the 786 time, I just tell him to hit her back, because I... just...... can't...... anymore.
It is not something every other mom doesn't feel. We are all trying to keep our heads above water.

It is OK that I don't think I am a good mom, it makes me try harder. Each night when I sneak into their room to watch them sleep, it makes me want to do better the next day.
I guess that is all you can do.

5 comments:

  1. We are always the hardest on ourselves. Not feeling like we are doing our best. Not quite measuring up. It's just that we love our kids so much, we want to do the absolute best we can. You husband knows what a great mom you are. Sometimes,even when you don't feel it, you just have to take him at his word.

    And you're right. We all go through it.

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  2. Kristi11:55 AM

    My parents had a rule about tattling. It better be something that would mean the other kid getting hurt or into serious trouble. Otherwise, if you told YOU were the one to get in trouble.

    That really set my brother, sister and I up for watching out for eachother.

    It's also something I do with my own kids. It really does work

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  3. i've always thought you were perfect :)

    i'm with kristi and her brilliance. your kids are smart. tell them clearly what is important to tell you, and clearly what you consider tattling. when one tattles, put 25 cents in a jar marked with the OTHER'S name. then say whichever jar gets to $5 first, get to spend all the money in the jars.

    oo, i can see them busting blood vessels already!

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  4. You know what? I bet you're a great mom. For real.

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  5. I totally understand.

    And you ARE a great Mom!

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