Parenting

I stepped out of the car into the warm sunlight. The parking lot was filled with minivans, it was going to be a busy day. I took the kids out of the car and they screamed in unison "park!" they were in their glory. E met me there & we each paired up with a kid and took off. I was following Baby A, wondering why he would walk anywhere but not really look for me. Wasn't he scared of being lost? Wasn't he nervous without me?
He would laugh, jump, climb all the thigns you are supposed to do at the park on a sunny day. I wondered if I was a bad parent. Maybe I should have lectured them about leaving my side, maybe I should be telling them already that there are bad people on this Earth that could and would hurt them. Just at that moment he looked back at me & smiled his world famous smiles. I melted.
Baby B ran to me screaming "mommy, mommy" again my heart melted.

For those first minutes at the park , I felt like a bad parent, I questioned myself. I thought I wasn't teaching them the right lessons, that I had failed them.

But then I realized that I had all along been teaching them the right lesson, the most important thing I can teach them right now: that no matter where they go, how high they climb, or how fast they run, I will always be right behind them.
Watching, loving, supporting and melting.

Secrets

My very favorite site is this one. (Thanks Jocelyn)
It makes me cry and laugh all at the same time. I read them and I am uplifted at the human spirit and disgusted all at once. I just love it and I may send in my own secret soon.

My question is, is it a secret once people have read it, even if you are anonymous?

The Outlaws

When my inlaws were here, back in January, they truly god on our nerves. I know it is not that shocking. I feel like my mother in law tries to do everything her way, because what could I know about cleaning/laundry/raising kids/cooking/breathing? I also noticed how negative they are about everything. "oh you can't afford that" when we talk about home improvements, "yeah right" when I say I would like another baby, "oh, that is nice" when I am excited about something I made or bought.
They just seem to try to bring us down. They tell us how smart and great our children are but in the next breath they criticize something we do with them. I really think my mother in law is pissed she moved so far away, but you know what, who asked you to retire early move to Florida & leave your 2 children & 2 grandchildren. Now they have 4 grandchildren & they are missing out.

I was going out to the store & E's parents were going to watch the kids. Baby A was up & Baby B was napping. I asked them to feed Baby A lunch and then he could have a donut that they had brought. I got into my car when I noticed I forgot my keys I went back into the house and as I opened the door, E's mother jumped & ran to the other side of the kitchen.
She had been going to give Baby A a donut, 5 seconds after I told her to feed him lunch first & then he could have one. WTF?! She deliberately went out of her way to do what she wanted & E's Dad just sat there & watched it go on. It is funny actually, because she acts like she is 10.
I have never met a grown woman more jealous.

E told them we may come down to Florida for a short visit in April, but our finances have different plans. Now his Mom will probably throw a tantrum that we have not visited yet.
You know what I say? Fuck Her.

Easter

We had a very nice Easter, the babies had a great time. They loved looking for eggs and if there was something in them it was pure bonus, they just wanted the eggs. We went to my hometown for church, then to my Grandmother & Grandfather's house for a short visit, then to my other Grandma's retirement home and THEN to my Mom's for dinner. Busy but fun.

I think the consensus of my last post was:
Blogger comments stinkeroni (which I knew)
Lo Mein for breakfast is for Champions (which I embrace)
and there is a father of triplets who still has time to go online and read this little blog (which is a miracle)

Again today is a rainy overcast day. I read that there have only been 6 sunny, dry days in NJ this month! I thought April was supposed to be a rainy month. Speaking of April, my birthday is coming up which normally I love, but this year I am blah about it. I really don't care about it either way. My Stepmother i s having a party for my little brother that day so that is fine with me, I would rather celebrate his birthday anyway.
Is there any millionaires out there that enjoy this here blog and would like to buy me a gift? If there is this is what I have been drooling over for months:
http://womens-accessories.smartbargains.com/go.sb?s=BS&deptId=11&catId=316&prodId=1060257684&fd=true&sp=All+Products%2f%2f%2f%2fWomen

and lets not make fun of me for STILL not knowing how to do links, I have twins.

Blah

You peeps are boring. I get far too many visitors at this blog here every day to have so few comments. I will be going to my hometown tomorrow and will not be able to blog, so I am officially making the next 36 hours, "comment day and 1/2".

Some things you could perhaps comment on:

• Some things you would like me to blog about
• advice you are seeking from wise 'ol Tuesday. For medical advice please refer to me as Dr. Tuesday
• Pros and Cons of eating dinner for breakfast
• your life in general
• maybe just a Hi so we know you are alive

I am going to the Christmas Tree Shoppe that opened in NY tomorrow, and I am so excited. It reminds me of my youth vacationing in Cape Cod. I hope it is just how I remember it.

Guilty Pleasures

Last night I watched American Idol and for once I was excited at the song choices. The theme was Billboard Hits, or something. They sang some of my guilty pleasure songs: Total Eclipse of the Heart, Time after Time, I Think I Love You and Alone.

Some of my other guilty pleasures are:
squeezing pimples
plucking gray hairs
cream cheese on a bagel with funyuns onion rings (try it & I swear you will be hooked)
the color pink
the song "Sweet Home Alabama"
Scott Baio
and
reality TV

Right to Die

Terri Schiavo. A name we have all heard too many times over the past weeks and months. It is a horribly sad situation, one which I think the government should stay out of.
I have been thinking of what I would do in the same situation, E & I know each others wishes to not be "living" on life support, although I did have to tell him not to pull the plug too quickly, you gotta give a girl a chance to come out of it.
At what point do you stop becoming someone's daughter and become someone's wife? Who is responsible for you if you cannot make decisions for your own life? A Mother will always hang on the hope that their child can and will recover, but after so long the chance is so slim. I feel that her husband wants the best for her, and knows what she would have wanted in this situation. Is there anyone out there that if in Terri's situation would want to be kept alive? Is she really living? All hard questions that I pray I never have to face, or any of you.

It is sad that it has divided a family that is all grieving, any way you slice it, a life lost.

Hating Mondays Are Not Just for People With Jobs

This is going to be a grumpy post because, you guessed it, I am grumpy.
I was in a sad/depressed/pissed off mood yesterday & carried it with me into bed, add to that not one but two babies who didn't want to sleep last night.
Here is an example of my morning:

Baby B: (4:45am) where Daddy go?

Me: he is sleeping with Baby A

Baby B: cup?

Me: no cup, it is time to sleep. When the sun comes out you can get a cup

Baby B: cup?

silence

B: (whispers) cup where are oooooou?

Me: it is time to sleep

B: no!

Me: I promise to buy you a pony, diamonds, a new car and anything else you want tomorrow if you sleep for just a little while longer. I haven't slept all night because you had either your feet or cranium in my ribs all night. Just like when I was pregnant. Who would have thought a king sized bed would be too small for a woman and her two year old. PLEASE, just close your eyes.

B: cup?

So that is how my day started. I am still angry/depressed/pissed from yesterday. To make matters worse I have to go to the grocery store and I absolutely hate the grocery store these days. I am sick of it but I have to go since we are out of necessities like food.

I hope you are having a better Monday.

Sorry

To the people who searched for:

Over developed boobs
girl on girl puke
about sperms coming out
bite me on the ass
and
St. Panties day picture

and found my little blog instead, I am sorry.

Also you are strange and are in dire need of help.

Erin Go Braugh

Today is St. Patricks Day, one of my favorite days of the year. Or it was before my Dad died. We would go out every year and have lunch, visit with family, hit bars see the NYC parade. Tons of fun and he made it special. I hope to do the same with my children.
I am Irish. Very Irish actually, my name is very Irish and my children's names are also very Irish.

I will be cooking a traditional dinner and I wanted to make my great Aunt's Irish soda bread recipe but my mother forgot to give it to me. My great Aunt was a tiny round woman with a loud laugh, she lived with her brother who also was a tiny round man who could have very well been, a leprechaun. The lived in a small apartment in Hoboken NJ, where a lot of my family lived after they came here from Ireland. I remember going there for Easter and some other holidays and walking into the apartment building and thinking how much I hated all the smells. It depressed me. I thought if you lived in a apartment building you were poor and that depressed me too.

I thought for sure two leprechauns should have some money, or at the least, a pot of gold.

The Good News Is..........

I saved a ton of money on my car insurance.
Seriously.
We saved $900 a year by switching to Geico. Jesus, that is a huge chunk of change.
NJ car insurance rates are astronomical anyway & I think I alone pay about $1400 for my car, which is a 2 year old safe mini SUV and I have no points, no accidents and no tickets and haven't in about 12 years. Plus I don't even drive to work, why would it be that high? The answer: NJ. Bastards. So saving $900 is huge for us and E was very excited.

My sister ic coming over today & we are going to go to the park, if the weather cooperates and Old Navy because she needs maternity short for her trip to Florida. I am very jealous, I want to go to Florida too, I really do need a vacation.

E promised me a second honeymoon for our 5th anniversary, which is in September. Now we have two things, called twins, though and taking them would not be a vacation & we really have nobody to leave them with. My Mom would have to take off of work, my sister is due with her second son in June and my in-laws live in FL. I am going to try some more planning on that one. Did I mention I really need a vacation?

Anyone want a Cat?

One of my cats has been clawling at my new drapes and I am going to strangle her. The other cat thinks he is a lap dog and is on my ass 24/7. I thought cats were solitary animals. Not him.
Quite annoying.

E is doing much better. It was so hard taking care of him & the babies after his surgery. Sometimes you forget all it is that the other person does. E does a lot and he is usually the caregiver to me, not the other way around. He went back to work today and I hope he is ok, he had to go to Delaware and that is a pretty far trip for someone who hasn't been outside for 4 days.
Speaking of E his birthday is 3 days before mine, which is coming up faster then I would like. I am going to buy him a new camcorder so I am doing some research on them now. What is hard about this is basically I have to tell him how much money I need to be available to me since he is the one who pays the bills, makes the money & balances the checkbook. I have had to do this in the past & he has told me not to spend money on him, or not to buy him anything which ruins it for me and him. I want to surprise him with gifts for any holiday & him not to be involved in any way. When I worked I would just go out & buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and didn't have to answer to anyone. Now, I know it is "my money too" and I "contribute in my own way" but it really is not the same.
I guess a lot of SAHM have the same problems. I just want my husband to have a nice birthday & get him the gift he needs and wants without spoiling the surprise.
He deserves it.

Easter Bunny

We are going to the mall today to let the babies visit the Easter Bunny and even get a picture with him/her/it. The babies are excited about Easter and I bought them Easter baskets already so they are all prepared.
The thing is I don't like going to the mall with them, especially alone. They are great kids, they are not the problem. The problem is dumb people. What I am going to do is put some answers top some common asked questions and then just hand them out & be on my way. No more awkward answers and strangers lingering around us, just pass out the leaflet & go. Or maybe I could make signs & then just hold them up over my head while we walk around the mall.
Some of my answers will be:

Yes, they are twins, see how they are the same exact age? That makes them twins.

No, they are not identical. One is a boy & the other is a girl, that means they CANNOT be identical. Duh, ma'am

Yes, my daughter is bigger then my son. By one inch and one pound, twins are not the exact weight & height, especially if they are NOT identical.

Yes, having twins is hard. I am glad it is me and not you either. Actually, I hate you.

I see that one is missing a shoe, that happens. I ate it.

Yes, I am busy. Right now I am busy dodging stupid questions from stupid people.
and finally the rudest question of them all:

Yes, I did have them naturally. Really my fertility is none of your business and if I had IVF to get them doesn't make them any less special but if you need to know: my husband and I had sex for hours and we got pregnant, I let out more then one egg, because I am crazy like that, and he let out millions of sperms and we got two instead of one.

Payback

Today is E's surgery. Subsequently, he is hungry and thirsty this morning waiting for his impending surgery. Reminds me of when I was in the hospital because my white blood cell count was very low & they told me not to drink anything while I waited to see if they were going to take TWO people out of me, because it had been 39 weeks and the eviction notice I had sent them was laughed at by two people. Yes two. I was dying of thirst and had not had anything to eat or drink for about 7 hours at this point. The woman next to me was put into her own room, and I noticed she left a delicious & refreshing Sprite on her table. I begged E to steal it for me. I begged him for just a sip while my mother was down the hall calling someone, because she is a by the rules person and she would tell on us. Her own daughter.
E refused to give me a tiny sip. For a woman who carried TWO huge people in her for 9 months. I hadn't seen my feet for months, hadn't slept in 8 months and was restricted from sex 20 weeks before. Don't tell pregnant woman to stay away from sex and/or orgasms because it is the horniest time of her life. I was so wanting the sex. Instead I would have accepted a sip, but E was too chicken.

This morning I made coffee for myself because I needed it. E gave me a dirty look. Life is funny, and karma is a bitch. I needed it and he should be happy I am not making a 3 course meal in front of him because I am hungry.
Jeesh.

Today

E is having surgery tomorrow on his nose and sinuses and I am getting more and more nervous about the whole thing. He has never had anesthesia before and maybe I am just nervous because of everything that went wrong with my C section. He needs the surgery though, and I am sure he will be fine.
E's Aunt died yesterday & he is thinking of going to NH for the funeral. I told him that the babies & I will go with him, but he said that it was too long of a trip and that he will go alone. I don't think that is such a good idea, a day and a half after having surgery, so now I am trying to talk him out of it. His sisters are not going either because god forbid they would put their lives on hold for anyone. Well, at least his one sister. She is a real piece of work.

My sister and Mom are going to visit my Aunt in Florida next week and I am jealous. I am sick of the cold and I am, just like everyone else, am ready for the spring. As baby B would say "spriiiing, where are ooooooow?"

My babies are getting so big, just the other day Baby B picked her nose, ate it and then said "yum".
She is just like her father I tell you.

Today

E is having surgery tomorrow on his nose and sinuses and I am getting more and more nervous about the whole thing. He has never had anesthesia before and maybe I am just nervous because of everything that went wrong with my C section. He needs the surgery though, and I am sure he will be fine.
E's Aunt died yesterday & he is thinking of going to NH for the funeral. I told him that the babies & I will go with him, but he said that it was too long of a trip and that he will go alone. I don't think that is such a good idea, a day and a half after having surgery, so now I am trying to talk him out of it. His sisters are not going either because god forbid they would put their lives on hold for anyone. Well, at least his one sister. She is a real piece of work.

My sister and Mom are going to visit my Aunt in Florida next week and I am jealous. I am sick of the cold and I am, just like everyone else, am ready for the spring. As baby B would say "spriiiing, where are ooooooow?"

My babies are getting so big, just the other day Baby B picked her nose, ate it and then said "yum".
She is just like her father I tell you.

Freakin NJ

Monday it was 69 degrees here, yesterday it was 33. Ridiculous.
Poor E had to take some doctors out to dinner yesterday, today & tomorrow. To Morton's. I am really feeling sorry for him, how horrible. Meanwhile I am home with the babies like always, eating some crappy frozen dinner. E did ask me if I wanted him to bring me home a steak but somehow eating a steak at 10pm just didn't appeal to me. He then asked me if I wanted dessert and I again declined because last time he went to Morton's he brought me home a piece of key lime pie and it gave me the trots all night. He did bring me home a piece of cheesecake & I am debating eating it for breakfast.
Lets not kid each other, I will be eating it.

It is officially one month until my birthday. I do not know how to feel about it. Birthdays are just never the same after 21 in my opinion. E's birthday is 3 days before mine and he is 4 years older then me, so that does make me feel better. No matter what he will always be older then me. Aging is inevitable and I am just rolling with it, but it is a reminder that I am not 20 anymore and I wonder where all of that time went.
It seems like yesterday.

This Weekend

What I learned this weekend from my Mom:

I use flimsy napkins. I should buy the better ones because they are just a little more and MUCH better.

I am not trying hard enough to lose weight

I am too loud sometimes.

Tinkle is a more appropriate word then pee for the babies to use.

How to make fabu cosmos

I drink too much soda

I should watch my mouth more in front of the babies

And
That I missed my Mom more then I thought.

Music

This was passed onto me by Amanda:

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
Zero, this is a new computer & it is a virgin. I feel bad being the one to "deflower" her but someone has got to do it.

2. What is the Last CD you bought?
Grammy Nominees

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this?
Sadly, Old MacDonald

4. Write down 5 songs that mean a lot to you:
Annies song- John Denver
Black- Pear Jam
Winter- Joshua Radin
Beautiful Day-U2
Father & Son- Cat Stevens

5. Who are you going to Pass this on to?
I would like to pass it onto Uneasy Rider because I find him fascinating.

DSW

Last night I went to DSW to look for some new kicks, because my sneakers are OLD and fugly.
Guess what I saw there on the shelf? Go on guess.
ROOS! KangaRoos sneakers with the cool pocket on the side so you can put two quarters in there for the ice cream lady.
Yup, we are back to rocking Roos. I was tempted to buy a pair for old times sake. Not the lavender ones I had when I was nine though. A nice respectable blue pair maybe.

I missed you Roos!

What is next to make a come back? Pucci the dog?*


* $10 to anyone who remembers Pucci.

Freezing!

Today it is 23 degrees here in NJ. Today my heat decided to not work. E check ed out the furnace. His opinion was that "the fan is working, but no gas is coming out", very techinical diagnostics going on here. He called (the furnace company? the heat police?) someone & they said they will send someone out this morning. It is 11am and nobody has arrived yet. The temperature inside the house is 67, which is cooler then we keep it usually for the kids.
I hope they come soon, I am still sick, I have my period and I am cold.
Not good stuff. Not good at all.

Sick

I am in complete denial that I am sick. Oh, I can't swallow because it feels like there is a golf ball lodged in my throat? No problemo it will pass in a day.
I hate being sick. I hate when people say " I hate being sick" like someone relishes sick. Nobody looks to get a cold. Nobody licks your old cups and wipes dirty tissues over their body to enjoy your germs. Well, at least nobody I know.

Besides that, nothing much to report. My Mother is coming to spend the weekend with us, which makes me happy. I miss my family and it gives me someone to hang out with or even shop with besides E. I am hoping when it gets warmer the babies and I can go for long walks and maybe meet some new people. I am tired of being stuck in the house only to leave to go to Shop Rite or CVS. I AM A FUN GIRL DAMMIT AND I AM OUT TO PROVE IT TO THE WORLD.
Or at least my town.
Or maybe just my neighborhood.