Sunday, March 13, 2005

Easter Bunny

We are going to the mall today to let the babies visit the Easter Bunny and even get a picture with him/her/it. The babies are excited about Easter and I bought them Easter baskets already so they are all prepared.
The thing is I don't like going to the mall with them, especially alone. They are great kids, they are not the problem. The problem is dumb people. What I am going to do is put some answers top some common asked questions and then just hand them out & be on my way. No more awkward answers and strangers lingering around us, just pass out the leaflet & go. Or maybe I could make signs & then just hold them up over my head while we walk around the mall.
Some of my answers will be:

Yes, they are twins, see how they are the same exact age? That makes them twins.

No, they are not identical. One is a boy & the other is a girl, that means they CANNOT be identical. Duh, ma'am

Yes, my daughter is bigger then my son. By one inch and one pound, twins are not the exact weight & height, especially if they are NOT identical.

Yes, having twins is hard. I am glad it is me and not you either. Actually, I hate you.

I see that one is missing a shoe, that happens. I ate it.


Yes, I am busy. Right now I am busy dodging stupid questions from stupid people.
and finally the rudest question of them all:

Yes, I did have them naturally. Really my fertility is none of your business and if I had IVF to get them doesn't make them any less special but if you need to know: my husband and I had sex for hours and we got pregnant, I let out more then one egg, because I am crazy like that, and he let out millions of sperms and we got two instead of one.

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for making me spit my lunch all over the keyboard, with the I ate the shoe comment!

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  2. "...I let out more then one egg, because I am crazy like that..."

    Too funny. I would love to see the look on people's faces when you tell them your answers.

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  3. You're still living my life (or at least you're visiting my malls). I hate the stupid questions. I've had people ask if my twins were related and then if they were identical all in the same day. I could have smacked the woman who insisted, "They don't look like twins." They are twins. That's how they look, so they do, in fact, look like twins.

    I swear people think a double stroller is a free pass to make stupid comments.

    When mine were tiny, I considered putting up signs on the stroller that answered all the stupid questions before they were asked. Never did, though because I figured then people would just stop not only to ask the EXACT SAME QUESTIONS, but also to comment on the signs.

    When I get really frustrated with the morons, I use the snarky answers to the stupid questions. It's fun because then you get to see all the funny expressions.

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