Thursday, March 31, 2005

Parenting

I stepped out of the car into the warm sunlight. The parking lot was filled with minivans, it was going to be a busy day. I took the kids out of the car and they screamed in unison "park!" they were in their glory. E met me there & we each paired up with a kid and took off. I was following Baby A, wondering why he would walk anywhere but not really look for me. Wasn't he scared of being lost? Wasn't he nervous without me?
He would laugh, jump, climb all the thigns you are supposed to do at the park on a sunny day. I wondered if I was a bad parent. Maybe I should have lectured them about leaving my side, maybe I should be telling them already that there are bad people on this Earth that could and would hurt them. Just at that moment he looked back at me & smiled his world famous smiles. I melted.
Baby B ran to me screaming "mommy, mommy" again my heart melted.

For those first minutes at the park , I felt like a bad parent, I questioned myself. I thought I wasn't teaching them the right lessons, that I had failed them.

But then I realized that I had all along been teaching them the right lesson, the most important thing I can teach them right now: that no matter where they go, how high they climb, or how fast they run, I will always be right behind them.
Watching, loving, supporting and melting.

2 comments:

  1. what a great post!!! it is often hard for me to even put into words how great it feels to be a parent..the thing that makes me feel like a bad parent is when i get short on patience and get annoyed or raise my voice at my little guy, he says, "i sorry, daddy, i three"
    after that he hugs me....i just love being a parent!!! it is the best feeling in the world!!

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  2. dammit, something's in my eye

    *snnnniiifffff*

    thanks to you and J...i love this wild ride, too :)

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