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Well, Vicodin is my new bestest friend. I have to be careful about him and I getting together too much because I will never again get out of my bed but so far he has been a good friend to me.


I am in pain, my neck is very sore and swollen. I have only looked at it once, because it was too much for me. It has started to itch which I know is a sign it is healing, which is great. I will go back into NYC on Friday morning to have my surgeon look at it and take out all my stitches.
I will hug him.
Hard.
I am so happy with my outcome it is hard for me not to shout from the rooftops. It was the best possible outcome. I can continue my life from when I put it on hold in January, I felt until now that I had it on pause and everyone kept going on around me, but now I am joining back into the world.
This is my second chance to be healthier, be happier with what I have and to be more involved with my life. This may have been my wake up call.

Can I say enough how much "you people" have meant to me with your well wishes and prayers. Not just for me, but for my family too because it makes me feel like people are looking out for them too, strangers are sending them light and love.
It has been everything, our sweet dog, my stress of being a single Mom for the last week and the surgery.
This reaction may be because of too much of my friend Vicodin but I bet it is just because under it all there are great people in this world, and I just happened to have them reading this boring piece of my life.
Now enough of this mushy stuff , when can I have a stiff drink?

Quick Update

I just got home from the hospital, and we have great news.
The lump was benign, they only had to take out half of my right thyroid and I may not need medicine for the rest of my life.
Thank goodness.

I am in some pain but I have my old friend Vicodin. I also have a large incision and a ton of stitches.

Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes, I will post more when I feel a bit stronger.

When It Rains, It Really, Really Pours

We had to put our sweet baby doggie to sleep yesterday.
E is a mess, I am a mess.
It was impossibly hard and I will post about it later, when it is not so raw.

I am going into surgery tomorrow at 7:30 am and it should take about 90 minutes barring no complications. I am scared, I will miss my kids but I am sure I will be alright.
I do have all you guys in my corner praying and wishing me well on top of my family & friends in real life. So, it's good.

Thank you again, really it means a lot to me.
I will post whenever I can, or I will get E to update you.

Thank You

Thanks guys for all those awesome rainy day suggestions for my three year olds. WE went to Chick-fil-a twice this week because of the cool indoor playground, fingerpainted and instead of making cookies (which I would have to eat! Them all!) we made little pizzas on english muffins.

I have been given the 5 star healthy rating by my doctor and was green lighted for my surgery on Monday. The same cannot be said for my doggie who now hates going up or down stairs. I had to carry her to my bedroom last night. I am waiting for the return call from the vet now.

I will post this weekend with a little update before my surgery Monday morning.
Have a great weekend!

Is This Week Over Yet?

Thank all that is holy and good, that E is coming home today. His flight should land in Philadelphia at 4pm today. Not one moment too soon.

It is 11am and so far today I have:

• changed four poopy diapers. FOUR!
• cleaned poop from carpet from sick dog. Tried not to yell at sick dog because you are so frustrated that the dog picked the ONE carpeted room downstairs to shit, and that is the kids playroom.
• cleaned up pee from same sick dog and let her outside on her leash.
• did a "pre interview" of sorts from the hospital I will check into on Monday. Answered odd questions like "do you have hospital equipment in your house? Do you suffer from abuse? What religion are you? And do you have stairs in your house"
• brought the do inside only to have her puke twice on the same carpet forcing me to break down and cry
• been comforted by my daughter who hugged me handed me a tissue and told me "its ok, Mommy, Daddy be home in free days, I love you"

The last one made up for the hell that was my life for the past 4.5 hours.

Now, how cute is this puppy? My dear sweet dog is not doing well, and neither am I. I am going to take her to the vet again tonight, with my two tired babies who have not napped today and the only appointment I could get is one hour past their bedtime. My doggie has trouble going up stairs suddenly and has been shaking for 24 hours. My poor baby is sick. I really hope I don't have to make any decisions about her without E, who has an awards meeting in sunny Florida and then will be wisked away to a private Jimmy Buffet concert. Poor him.

Hopefully I will make it through this night alive.

Another Day

I want all the Moms and Dads that read this blog to give me some ideas. I want your best rainy day, bored in the house, toddlers that try to break your spirit, ideas of things to do in the house.

Something that you do with your kids that they like or make or even your best idea of where to take them to wear them out for the day.

A New Day

Today the dog seems to be doing fine. I still have to watch for vomiting and diarrhea because of her medications but she seems ok. She is eating her new food because it is wet and she loves wet food and I have been hiding her medicine in peanut butter with success.
The vet is still concerned abou ther but we will go back for a check up on her kidneys next week, and hopefully we caught it in time.

My daughter cried for her Dad for about an hour at bedtime last night and I hope that it doesn't repeat tonight. I feel so bad for them because they really miss him, as much as I do and he misses us. It sucks he has to go away so often for business but it is what puts food on our table and clothes on our backs. I thank God he is a good hardworking man and works his ass off for us.

I am excited for some new shows tonight. I am bored here and if I get a little help from my best friend TiVo, then so be it.
A girl has got to live.

Just When It Couldn't Get Worse

I am overwhelmed.
Our dog has been losing weight now for months. I took her to the vet in November and they ran a bunch of test and did a thorough exam but came up with nothing. She lost a lot more weight so I took her back to the vet on Thursday. It turns out she lost 15lbs since August (I wish I had that problem) which was quite a bit for a dog of her size. They did MORE tests and exams and she has lyme disease and her kidneys are not functioning properly.
She had to have IV all day on Friday and she is on two medicines and special dog food.
Just what my pocketbook needed.
E & I are a mess because she has been with us for almost our whole relationship, she was our first baby. She is spoiled and treated like one of the family, because she is.
The vet said that it very well could be fatal, and I just can't believe that. She is a spry 9 years old and just the best dog you could ask for.

Top that off with E, who left today for a week long business trip to sunny Orlando, FL.
Without us.
Again.
sigh, so I am here doing it all, lonesome and bored.

Plus my surgery is one week from today so I am getting really nervous about the whole thing. On Friday I went for a whole series of blood tests including a "bleeding test" to make sure I clot well because I bled out and needed two transfusions when I had my C-Section.
Lets just say it was not a fun time.
It was a far cry from some of my St. Patrick's days of past.

I still haven't called a true friend offering great help with my health issues because I have been so busy (Hi Marikay!, I know I suck).

Lastly, thanks for all the offers to help with my blog, I am going to take you all up on your offers!

That is it from my homefront, I will be over feeling sorry for myself in 3 or so hours and I will be good as new. Maybe. I hope.

H E L P

I am bored of this blah blog. I need someone to help me spruce it up a bit. Make it cooler if you will.
Does anyone know how to do this and could help me, I am fairly clueless and I know I could teach myself easily but I have so much on my plate right now, I would love some help.

I was going to buy a redesign but with my predestined goal of visiting every doctor in the tri-state area in 2006 ( I am on track with about 11 visits already this year) and paying them a co-pay, I can't justify the cost.

So help, please?

God, I am good.

I don't want to jinx anything, but I think Baby B is potty trained. She has been exclusively peeing on the potty now for three days. Actually she did have one teeny accident on the carpet but she reported it promptly to her Dad "Gosh, I can't believe I tinkled on the carpet!".
Pooping is reserved for the diaper for now, because she has constipation issues (join the club) I haven't pushed it.
AS far as weaning her off the treats and just peeing in the potty for the glory of it all, I figure chocolate is A LOT cheaper then pull ups for twins every month and with all the money we are saving we will be able to afford all her dental work!
What a great planner I am!

Baby B is a different story. For days now he has jumped on the pastel M&M wagon because when his sister goes on the potty he would like one too, and really I can't stand to look at his petite face while his sister slams down M&Ms like they are going to melt in her hand. (someone should alert her!) Now though, he is pushing his luck saying things like "Mooooom, I didn't take me quiet time but I want a M&M."
Buddy, that is not going to get you too far.
Now he has to ante up the urine in any form besides a diaper to get those precious, adorable, pastel M&Ms with faces of baby animals on them.

After all, I enjoy some chocolatey goodness every once in awhile too!

Worst Job

I was in the doctor's office today for some pre- surgical testing, which is always fun with 2 three year olds. While waiting a looong time in the waiting room I overheard a conversation with a lady and the nurse. She asked when the lady was available to come back for another appointment and the lady said "anytime, I work for myself".
The nurse asked what she did and she said " I do what nobody else wants to do" and laughed.

So I sat there and wondered what she actually did. What was it that nobody else wants to do?
Does she clean up murder scenes? Does she potty train kids all day? Does she clean up backed up sewers? Does she have to clip diabetic patients toenails? Does she have sex with gross men all day?

I am fascinated.

Monday

Wow, how great was the Sopranos? Did Tony really get shot or was that a dream? I would have never thought that Janice would have another baby. I felt so bad for the guy who just wanted to retire in Florida and leave his crap behind him. Why would you hang yourself in the basement where your kids could find you though?
It was really good and I can't wait for next week. It is a good substitute addiction until Lost comes back in two weeks.

Today I am going to an indoor play place to meet some other stay at home moms in my area. Hopefully this will work out well and maybe I can make a new friend.
A new young couple moved into our neighborhood recently but they both work. We will still force them to be friends with E & I, as our neighborhood is mostly older people.

The countdown to my surgery is officially two weeks from today. Now I am getting anxious, I just want it to be over.
It is true, waiting is the hardest part.

Woke Up This Mornin

Sopranos are FINALLY back tonight. We cannot wait.
Loves it!

Currently

I am.............

Happy to see the sun out
Ecstatic that my kids are napping
Stressed after watching Black.White.
Awaiting my surgery
Tired but anxious
Bored but content
Excited to play with my kids outside, finally
and
Sad that I have nothing else to say today

Finally!

There is help for me.

In other news, I was at my mecca today and the kids and I had fun navigating our tiny cart in those narrow, packed aisles. Then I got downwind of someone who decided to literally bathe in all the patchouli, in all of the world and I almost puked.
I hate patchouli. Now, I married a former hippie and all his friends are hippies. That was all fine and dandy, and I put up with all the patchouli, men wearing just robes to my fancy wedding, pot smoking and even the incense, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

That line for me is dirty feet and much too much patchouli. C'mon man, not bathing and overdosing on a leech repellent is just not cool.

I just can't deal. I really can't believe people are still using it as a perfume/cologne.
Still!

Anyway that ruined my produce expedition for me so we left and I made my kids promise to never be hippies.
Or at least only wear Mom approved scents.

Doctor, Doctor

I went to the endocronologist on Friday to meet with her, get her on board with my problems and plan our next step after the surgery. She was an older gal, a hippy of sorts and had the personality of a sponge. Imagine my surprise when they tell me to "gown up", I was really there just for my neck and I wasn't wearing "doctor appointment" bra & panties.
I went for it though and it went well.

On Saturday I went to the homeopathic doctor. That was fun. He is a sweet, gentle man and I loved him instantly. We just talked about my illnesses, family history, physical problems and then he got to the good stuff.

He asked about how I sleep, if I was scared of heights, what were the "traumas" of my life, what types of food I craved and a myriad of other things that you would never think a doctor would ask you. You would also never know what that has to do with why you are there but he believes that everything means something and your He "studies" me and sends me some "remedies". He also sent me home with something to take after my surgery that will quicken my recovery time.
Love it.
If anyone has questions on homeopathy, check this out.

I think I am done with doctors until my surgery which is fine by me. It figures that this is the year I opted not to enroll in our flexible spending, and this is the year I needed it the most.

Closer to Fine

Today I have another doctor's appointment with a endocronologist. I made this appointment a MONTH ago before I knew any results on my thyroid and this was the first available appointment with any endos in my area.
Got to love NY/NJ doctors.

Tomorrow I am going to a homeopathic doctor that my Aunt goes to. This I am excited about.
It is a hour consultation where you tell him everything about your life, and little things that make you, you. Like does your right ear itch? Are you scared alone? What foods do you crave?
All these things make up who you are and affect your health.
So interesting.
Although the fact that I have clothes and food is due to western medicine and big pharma, I am not willing to be dependent on a bottle of medicine daily to band aid my problem.
I want to fix my body and allow it to fix itself.
That should be all of our goals.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Lent

My Mom: "what are you going to give up for Lent?"

Me: " My thyroid"

The Blues

I am finding harder and harder to keep up my spirits these days. Today I was a mess, very depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I don't know if it is the weather (although it has been quite a mild winter), the thyroid thing, the fact that the babies and I are SO FREAKIN bored with being in this house day after day or just my hormones.
If I had to guess I think it is a little of each.
March to me has always seemed like such a depressing month, where you want the winter to be over but it is not quite spring until mid April. I guess this March will be no different.

E and I were planning on going on a 5 day vacation alone, without the kids when my in-laws visit the end of March, but now I am having surgery.
God, I wanted to go away so badly, it would be the first time I would have left the kids for more then 4 hours in over three years.
Do you know how much I needed that?
Now I will have a $1500 bill for my part of the surgery (there goes 60% of vacation budget) and I will have nobody to watch them any other time of the year. As it is my Mom is taking off to care for them when I am in the hospital, and E is taking a week off to help me after I get home.

I guess I am depressed about losing that vacation most. I needed it for mine and my children's mental health.
I guess we will all be stuck in NJ, crazy.

Open Letter To My Bod

Dear Period,

You are a fucking asshole.

Go away you are not wanted here.

Love, Tuesday