Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Blues

I am finding harder and harder to keep up my spirits these days. Today I was a mess, very depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I don't know if it is the weather (although it has been quite a mild winter), the thyroid thing, the fact that the babies and I are SO FREAKIN bored with being in this house day after day or just my hormones.
If I had to guess I think it is a little of each.
March to me has always seemed like such a depressing month, where you want the winter to be over but it is not quite spring until mid April. I guess this March will be no different.

E and I were planning on going on a 5 day vacation alone, without the kids when my in-laws visit the end of March, but now I am having surgery.
God, I wanted to go away so badly, it would be the first time I would have left the kids for more then 4 hours in over three years.
Do you know how much I needed that?
Now I will have a $1500 bill for my part of the surgery (there goes 60% of vacation budget) and I will have nobody to watch them any other time of the year. As it is my Mom is taking off to care for them when I am in the hospital, and E is taking a week off to help me after I get home.

I guess I am depressed about losing that vacation most. I needed it for mine and my children's mental health.
I guess we will all be stuck in NJ, crazy.

4 comments:

  1. I totally understand the March blues thing...i don't get over it until the clocks change...then get depressed that i have to be awake an hour eariler!!!

    This is unasked for advise...I've been taking my three to the local mall...letting them run and play up and down the mall..if you go early in the day all the elderly walkers are there and don't mind little ones running inbetween and around them... our mall also has a play room...which is a great thing!! It gets everyone out of the house for a little...

    As for the vacation...I am sooooo sorry... you do need that time away with just you and E...can you take a shorter weekend trip instead??? I know its not the same thing...but even 24 hours away is better than nothing...esp. before your surgery.... I hope that it all works out!!

    You are still very much in my prayers...and remember that in the midst of all the crap you feel this was all "caught" in time to do something and to get well...and you are brave, courageous and strong (even if you don't feel it right now..)

    All that to say. I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!! xo lyns

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  2. I totally understand the time without the children thing. I didn't until I started my maternity leave with my second child, and now I completely understand. Sometimes, you just need some time away from everyone.

    Is there a way to get away for just a few hours at least?

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  3. I'm so sorry things aren't all cheery lately.

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  4. Tuesday,
    I'm sorry that things have been a bit rotten (I know, understatement). But hang in there. And yes, I know you posted this a while back and are probably feeling better about things, but I read from earliest post to most recent and comment as I go, so I don't know just yet how things are. Hope they are better.

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