A Day in My Life

Me: yes I received a bill for this Rachel Ray magazine, but I just paid it in December. I paid the bill in December and never received one issue of the magazine. I called last month to tell you guys that and you told me I wrote my address wrong, so you couldn't send me any issues.
Actually that is funny because you cashed my check with my address on it, but I still never got one copy.

Customer Disservice Woman: this is a bill for a renewal.

Me: What renewal? I signed up but haven't received the magazine yet.

Customer Disservice Woman: this is for your renewal, that means you would get this magazine at a discounted rate for another year.

Me: (getting louder) I do understand what "renewal" means. WHY would I renew something when I haven't even received my first year yet?

CDW: so you don't want to renew it?

Me : (very loud) I HAVEN'T RECEIVED ONE ISSUE OF THIS MAGAZINE, YOU CASHED MY CHECK SO YOU HAVE MY MONEY BUT I HAVE NOT RECEIVED MY GOODS. PLEASE SEND ME MY ONE YEAR OF THIS TERRIBLE MAGAZINE FROM A WOMAN WHO USES TERMS LIKE "SAMMIES" AND "YUMMO" AND LETS END THIS HORRIBLE CONVERSATION NOW.

CDW: Ok, I will send you out one year of this magazine, so it will expire June 2007 and is that all today?

Me: Now that my blood pressure has skyrocketed, I think I am good.