Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Open Letters

Dear strange man in random stores:
Yes, I know my daughter is cute, adorable in fact, but do not touch her. I know you are probably a nice man, maybe even a lonely, widowed Grandfather, but it creeps me out to no end. Do not touch her. You are lucky I didn't bite off your hand, and if my husband was there, he would have bit your head off.
Hand to yourself people.

Love, Tuesday

Dear period,
E-fucking-nough already. Don't come 8 days late, stronger then ever, more cramps then ever then disappear for 36 hours and try and come back. You had your chance. I am not going to play peek a boo with you. Come all out or hang out until next month, it is your choice.

Fuck you,

Dear lent,
I didn't give up anything for you. Last year I gave up my thyroid, I figure that will even me up for a few years at least. Plus, what have you done for me lately?
Sorry, but I even ate turkey on Friday.

Love, Tuesday

Dear readers,
Whirlpool or Fridgidaire?

Love, Tuesday


  1. Kenmore :) Sorry I am just messing with you- kinda fun at the moment. You are too funny you know that.

  2. GMC!
    Oh, wait, they make cars...

    As for your first letter, totally understandable. Is it strange that I get freaked out even when some women try to touch my son. I don't know why...

  3. p.s I don't have a dishwasher so I can't vote! (well, I do...her name is DIANA!!!)

  4. I have a GE Profile. So, I don't have an opinion on either of the one's you mentioned.

    THis post cracked me up, btw!

  5. Kristi11:11 AM


  6. At nearly 40 I can't wait till my period stops(already into menopause) and I'm counting the months! As for the "nice old man", wait till your daughter is those "nice old men" seem like pedophiles who all seem to lurk about in the cleaning isles at Target.

  7. Anonymous4:09 AM

    great letters. Dont do whirlpool. You know why. lol


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