Monday, July 19, 2004

Things that have occurred to me

Some things that have occurred to me this weekend:

Furniture salesmen are sharks. I am not sure if they are worse then car salesmen though.

Why is it that places like Applebees and Houlihans give you the box to pack your leftover food instead of doing it themselves? Next thing you know you will have to cook your food too.

Wearing a 2 piece bathing suit is not the best choice for going into the ocean in large waves. So what if your 10 year old cousin got a couple of peeks of your breasts, he will have to have his first look sometime, better it be amongst family.

The hair under my right arm grows faster then my left. Strange.

Moving is not fun.

I have officially found the strangest thing a homeless person could sell car to car in traffic.
Mashed Potatoes.
Seriously.
I swear.
Who the fuck would buy that?

My friend who is seriously pissing me off wants a stripper for her bachlorette party. I may order an old man stripper for spite. Or a grandma. Or a midget.

There is nothing better then an outside shower. Love it.

14 comments:

  1. These are so funny!!! I am always offended when a restaurant won't pack up my leftovers. It's like they spit in it already and don't want to handle it? They've already served it!! What's the big deal? Are they pissed that we are taking it home? Would they have taken it if we didn't? That is a confusing issue.

    Mashed potatoes? You are clearly demented! He's homeless! Where the heck is he cooking these things? Over the burning barrel fire where he warms his hands? Well, ya know now that I have thought about it I would buy them. Look at all the effort he put in them! That's worth something!! Don't you think?

    Get a GAY stripper for your friend! That's a bummer.Or get a WOMAN! How embarrasing!

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  2. get midgets. then you can get them drunk and have them fight each other. and you give the winner some cash. or alcohol. they're usually so disgruntled they're settled for hard booze. how do i know? i have a pet midget.

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  3. maybe I will get hank the angry dwarf. He is always funny and I would love to see what he is packing.

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  4. Mashed potatoes- seriously? How was he ahnding them out? How much were they?

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  5. Mashed potatoes- seriously? How was he ahnding them out? How much were they?

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  6. Mashed potatoes- seriously? How was he handing them out? How much were they?

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  7. Mashed potatoes- seriously? How was he handing them out? How much were they?

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  8. Mashed Potatoes??? That is the strangest thing I have ever heard.

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  9. Oh yeah people, mashed potatoes. In ziplock bags.
    crazy shit.

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  10. tuesday girl,

    i hate to break it to ya....but hank the angry dwarf is dead. try beetle juice and friends instead. or i'll come. you sound like a cute girl. i bet you have cute friends. i'm single and ready to party.

    gmoney

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  11. Shit, I knew he was dead, I did mean Beetlejuice.
    Any offer for you to come over & take it off I will accept. You are from around my way.

    And you are correct, I am a cute girl.

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  12. send me an email with the time and place. if you do a good job convincing me, yeah i'll come get naked.

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  13. The box is a health thing. Some places prohibit the handling of food by the staff once someone has ben gnawing on it.

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  14. I vote for a gay midget grandma stripper. That'll teach the greedy bitch.

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