Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Dear Women Everywhere

Dear Women Everywhere,
We have a crisis on our hands. We are hurting our entire society with our sons. These sons grow up to rape, murder, start wars, rob, kidnap, fight, beat their wives, molest and run this world into total chaos.
I have been wondering why this is. The crime 50 years ago wasn't nearly as high. It was a time where Mothers could let their children ride a bike to a friends house, or have sleepovers with the boy scouts or never question the single mans intentions of being the little league coach. What the hell have we done to these boys to make them horrible human beings?
Maybe it is because of so many two income families, where in this day and age so many people need both parents to work in order to keep up with the cost of living. Mothers aren't home as much as their children, therefore not having enough supervision. Perhaps it is because of TV, movies and video games, they are very sexually explicit and violent and if parents aren't supervising what they watch then they could over indulge. Could it be that there is more poverty now and that growing up in a lower income development riddled with crime and sadness just makes boys fulfill this vicious cycle? Is it because so many boys grow up without a father or any positive male role model? Could I be raising a murderer or rapist?
I will vow to you now, women of the world, that I am taking an active role in my children's lives and I will stop at nothing to try to raise them, along with my husband, to be good and emotionally healthy human beings.
What can we do to fix this problem? The only thing we can do is raise our children a little better, be pro-active in their upbringing, be sure to raise them with positive male role models, teach them morals and the value of self worth, be aware what they are doing with their time, and show them they are loved every day. It is a small step. I fear for the world. I fear for my children's safety.
What is the answer? What can we do as parents, as grandparents, as neighbors or just as human beings?

I also wanted to address something else, Women, do not choose a man over your children. EVER. Do not turn a blind eye as he is beating them, do not ignore warning signs of abuse and if your child tells you he or she is being molested LEAVE. Right then and there leave and never look back. There is no fixing it, no trust you could ever have for such a vile human being. I am sick of hearing news stories of mothers putting their children in harms way.
Just don't ever put anyone else's needs in front of your children and you should be alright.


  1. Very well said. Thank you for hitting the nail on the head on a much-needed-to-be-talked-about subject.


  2. There are a couple of points that I, a man who is raising a son, would like to make on your post. First off, I don't buy that idea that being poor or being raised by a single parent has anything to do with it. These two issues are scapegoats that make two parent, rich families feel that the problem does not belong to them. Instead they see the problem as being an issue that effects the poor and divorced. As a case in point, I can think of one son of a wealthy family with two married parents who grew up to murder, start wars, rob, kidnap, fight, and run this world into total chaos; George W. Bush.

    I don't think that two income families are to blame either. I don't think it helps that in the last 30 years the number of families that need two incomes to make it are on the dramatic rise. I don't think it helps that many kids spend more time in day care/school than they do with their parents. I don't think it is fair that my son will not have the chance to stay home and watch The Price is Right every summer morning like I did. Still, I don't think that dual-income families are the issue.

    I don't think we live in a more dangerous world either. Statistically the number of kids kidnapped or involved in some sort of sex crime has dropped significantly. What has increased is the attention given to these crimes by the media. They want your kids inside your house watching TV where the TV stations can sell those eyeballs to advertisers. You think that the TV stations want your kids riding a bike to a friend’s house?

    Our society is poison to so many of us. Did you know that the percentage of mental illness among immigrants to the US rises with the number of years that the immigrants live in our culture? Our culture teaches kids that what you have is what makes you happy, not what you have inside. If you want to do a good job raising your kids then teach them how to love themselves for who they are. Teach them to think for themselves. Teach them to respect other people with the same respect they have for themselves. Teach them that true happiness comes from accepting who they are and appreciating their life, not from the latest fashions or technologies.

    You do that and you'll have good kids.
    (p.s. - great post)

  3. Just to make a comment on Good Husband's post. I was throwing out those "reasons" kids go bad because those are the ones most typically thrown out when the discussion comes up. I don't know what the answer is, or where we went wrong as a society. I just know I want to help fix it.

  4. This is a big question... and one unlikely to be answered in a few posts.

    First I'd like to consider, is the premise true? Is crime really worse? How does the crime rate of today compare to say, that of Charles Dicken's era. Or what about the time when the Vikings plundered Europe, the Huns in Rome, etc. (those really weren't wars, just a bunch of thugs running amok, plundering & pillaging)

    Is there really more crime today than there was 50 years ago? Could it be that crime is more likely to be reported than it was in the past? Is it just a reporting issue? Were women who were raped less likely to report it 50 years ago? Did people look the other way when the neighbor beat his wife? Look how difficult it is to talk about molestation today, consider how much more difficult it would have been 50 years ago.

    Is it because there are more people? On a per capita basis, are there really more robberies, kidnappings, etc? Fewer people, fewer crimes?

    I'm not saying that the premise isn't true, just, do we accept it as true just because more people talk about it.

    Personally, I like to blame it on the Baby Boom Generation. They are my favorite demographic to villify.

  5. I personally feel like parents make the mistake of thinking that it is ok to let their 11 year olds stay home alone after school and that's when parents are needed most. There isn't enough parental supervision or involvement anymore. Kids have too much free time to do whatever they want and be influenced by the wrong people. Parents can't be afraid that their kids ae gonna be mad at them if they have rules.

    Child molesters on talk shows have confessed that they look for single moms who are stressed out and busy. That way they can slip into their lives and "help out". The moms are grateful NOT suspicious of the strange man paying lots of attention to her young son.

    Same thing with priests. They can get into a family easily if it is a single mom household or if both parents are busy working. No one paying attention to the young boy? Come to Father Connolly....I will make you feel better.
    Parents: Know where your child is and who he is with.Pay attention to your child every single day. If you don't, he will be ready when someone finally does and then you have lost him.


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