Monday, June 07, 2004

New Life

I told E last night that I thought he didn't love me as much as he used to. I thought he loved me more in the little house in the woods. Its not true at all, because he does love me, today more then yesterday but not as much as tomorrow, but I was feeling sad. I miss our little stone house in the woods. We had deer, turkeys, black bear, turtles and frogs wondering around our house. I even named some of the animals, because I loved them. I loved the house with the pool, I loved the privacy, I loved that this was the house we lived in after we were married, all alone and in love.
This beautiful house was small and old and just not right for raising twins, so when we found out we were having babies we knew we had to move on. I cried the day we moved because so much was changing, and it was good and exciting, but I hate change. I was a month away from giving birth and I had to give up the house, job and life that I loved for a new one with our family. I think about our old life often and fondly, and I do get sad and sentimental. Then my babies will run up to me with open arms and I remember that change is good and the only way to progress in life. Without change I would have them and I wouldn't have E and those are the only things in life that matters.

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