Posts
Medicines and remedies consumed by yours truly, already today:
Tums (2 pills)
Citrucel (4 pills)
Magnesium Citrate (1/2 bottle)
Colace (1 pill)
Aloe (3 pills)
I swear I am only 33.
9 years ago
Monday, August 20, 2007
Getting Old
My Mom is here visiting us for a long weekend. It has been great to see her without having to share her with my sister! E is home safe and sound from his big camping trip. This trip made him realize that he is not young anymore and sometimes things that you did when you were in your twenties is not as much fun when you are in your thirties married with kids.
Something I guess we all learn the hard way.
I learned my lesson when I stayed up all night while my sister was having her second child, then drove home in the early morning. My days of staying out all night in NYC then going home to shower and going to work, were long over. It took two days of naps and good night sleeps to get me back in action.
It was a sad realization.
Almost as sad as realizing that some early gray hairs doesn't just mean that those few will hang out, that they will invite every single gray hair they know to a party on your head and they will never, ever leave.
Something I guess we all learn the hard way.
I learned my lesson when I stayed up all night while my sister was having her second child, then drove home in the early morning. My days of staying out all night in NYC then going home to shower and going to work, were long over. It took two days of naps and good night sleeps to get me back in action.
It was a sad realization.
Almost as sad as realizing that some early gray hairs doesn't just mean that those few will hang out, that they will invite every single gray hair they know to a party on your head and they will never, ever leave.
Friday, August 17, 2007
They Make Me Laugh Every Day
Going to the cemetery with my kids used to be easy. They would be asleep in the car and I would park and get out, leave some flowers, tidy up and get back in the car and they would not be the wiser. My, how times have changed.
Yesterday I stopped by the cemetery to "visit" my father and, of course, I had the kids with me. R woke up just as I pulled in and knew exactly where we were, she was the one who picked out the flowers and wanted to carry them to Grandpa. L said he wanted to stay in the car. OK, that was finewith me.
"Don't walk on him" R said to me as I stepped by the gravestone to weed a little. "OK, I will try not to, but you know it doesn't hurt him right R?" I said.
She lovingly placed the flowers and arranged them by the headstone. "Here you go Grandpa" she said.
I immediately started to cry. I never wanted to repeat what I had done with my mother so many years ago. My Mom toting her two young children to the cemetery to visit her father. I could no imagine a world without my dad, never mind my children living in it with no memory of him.
R rushed back to the car, and I walk over, L was crying. "what is wrong?" I asked him. " I want to see how he is doing " L said sweetly as I pulled him out of his car seat. Together I walked with my two small children through the cemetery.
"Hi Grandpa!" L said. "Grandpa, can you hear me?" R said laying on the grass, face down yelling into the ground. This both made me laugh and tear up again.
They are sweet, empathetic children who are naturally interested in the world and how it works, so it is no wonder I have to field questions from strange to how the hell do I answer that. I don't want them to fear death like I did when I was young so E and I are sure to tell them that people and animals die when they are both very old and very sick. A lie I know, but the painful truth of loss will face them soon enough. Neither our dog or my father was old when they died, but I don't want them worrying about themselves or one of us dying.
"what is Grandpa wearing?" "does he had dirt in his mouth?" "is he with god, or buried in the dirt?" "are there worms in the dirt?" "where is heaven" and "how did he get buried" are all questions I was asked yesterday.
Some I knew how to answer, others I didn't. Some made me cry and others made me laugh.
All in all I came to one conclusion: I am not going the cemetery without E anymore.
Yesterday I stopped by the cemetery to "visit" my father and, of course, I had the kids with me. R woke up just as I pulled in and knew exactly where we were, she was the one who picked out the flowers and wanted to carry them to Grandpa. L said he wanted to stay in the car. OK, that was finewith me.
"Don't walk on him" R said to me as I stepped by the gravestone to weed a little. "OK, I will try not to, but you know it doesn't hurt him right R?" I said.
She lovingly placed the flowers and arranged them by the headstone. "Here you go Grandpa" she said.
I immediately started to cry. I never wanted to repeat what I had done with my mother so many years ago. My Mom toting her two young children to the cemetery to visit her father. I could no imagine a world without my dad, never mind my children living in it with no memory of him.
R rushed back to the car, and I walk over, L was crying. "what is wrong?" I asked him. " I want to see how he is doing " L said sweetly as I pulled him out of his car seat. Together I walked with my two small children through the cemetery.
"Hi Grandpa!" L said. "Grandpa, can you hear me?" R said laying on the grass, face down yelling into the ground. This both made me laugh and tear up again.
They are sweet, empathetic children who are naturally interested in the world and how it works, so it is no wonder I have to field questions from strange to how the hell do I answer that. I don't want them to fear death like I did when I was young so E and I are sure to tell them that people and animals die when they are both very old and very sick. A lie I know, but the painful truth of loss will face them soon enough. Neither our dog or my father was old when they died, but I don't want them worrying about themselves or one of us dying.
"what is Grandpa wearing?" "does he had dirt in his mouth?" "is he with god, or buried in the dirt?" "are there worms in the dirt?" "where is heaven" and "how did he get buried" are all questions I was asked yesterday.
Some I knew how to answer, others I didn't. Some made me cry and others made me laugh.
All in all I came to one conclusion: I am not going the cemetery without E anymore.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Books
I have been neglecting this blog, I am fully aware. I have just been busy, not feeling so great, trying to get E ready to go away and just plain tired.
I decided I am going to plan a little getaway for myself in the near future, maybe just alone time.
I deserve it.
When I was asking people for good beach reads I got some great suggestions and I have read a lot of books this summer. If you have any other suggestions I am about done with my reading pile, so send them my way!
I also had someone from http://www.authorsontheweb.com/ contact me and suggest a book she was willing to send me, But Enough About Me by Jancee Dunn. Jancee is a girl from NJ who went on to work for Rolling Stone, MTV and Good Morning America. The book tells tales from the famous people she has interviewed to her amazing rock n roll life.
I really enjoyed this book, it was a perfect beach book. If you are looking for a easy read, pick this one up.
I do not accept any monetary compensation for any book reviews that I write.
I decided I am going to plan a little getaway for myself in the near future, maybe just alone time.
I deserve it.
When I was asking people for good beach reads I got some great suggestions and I have read a lot of books this summer. If you have any other suggestions I am about done with my reading pile, so send them my way!
I also had someone from http://www.authorsontheweb.com/ contact me and suggest a book she was willing to send me, But Enough About Me by Jancee Dunn. Jancee is a girl from NJ who went on to work for Rolling Stone, MTV and Good Morning America. The book tells tales from the famous people she has interviewed to her amazing rock n roll life.
I really enjoyed this book, it was a perfect beach book. If you are looking for a easy read, pick this one up.
I do not accept any monetary compensation for any book reviews that I write.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
A Girl And Her Breakdown
E is making his annual trek here to meet with all his granola friends and acquaintances. He would go every year when I first met him with his best friend/roommate and some of his other friends. Since I have never been camping and have no desire to do so, The Fold Fest is not for me. Sitting alone dirty in the woods with E is borderline tolerable, sitting dirty in a field with hundreds of other dirty and smelly people is where I draw the line.
One day I think I will surprise E and his best friend and say I am going with them. They would be so excited. Then E would dread it because he knows me and my tolerance level of dirt.
I can't help but feeling jealous and mad at E for his getaway. E goes away on business no less then 4 times a year. He goes to visit his best friend for a weekend at least twice a year and every other year he goes to Fold Fest (this time he is going 2 years in a a row). In all fairness, I told him he should go and he needs a break, which who doesn't?
When do I get my break? I have never been away from the kids for more then 6 hours in four and a half years. I don't go out on girl's night. I do not have friends here. E suggested when he gets home that I go for a day at the spa. I need my hair cut and highlights touched up but I would feel to guilty to do anything else.
Sometimes I think of going to a hotel by myself and order room service and get a massage, but then I think of all the things I could do with that money. I need to buy new booster car seats for the kids, now I need a new camera, the kids need clothes for the fall as well and E & I.
It is my fault, I should just do it and not allow the guilt to creep in. I deserve it.
So who is in? Who never gets a day off and deserves one? Lets all meet up in a posh hotel and order delicious food and get spa treatments!
One day I think I will surprise E and his best friend and say I am going with them. They would be so excited. Then E would dread it because he knows me and my tolerance level of dirt.
I can't help but feeling jealous and mad at E for his getaway. E goes away on business no less then 4 times a year. He goes to visit his best friend for a weekend at least twice a year and every other year he goes to Fold Fest (this time he is going 2 years in a a row). In all fairness, I told him he should go and he needs a break, which who doesn't?
When do I get my break? I have never been away from the kids for more then 6 hours in four and a half years. I don't go out on girl's night. I do not have friends here. E suggested when he gets home that I go for a day at the spa. I need my hair cut and highlights touched up but I would feel to guilty to do anything else.
Sometimes I think of going to a hotel by myself and order room service and get a massage, but then I think of all the things I could do with that money. I need to buy new booster car seats for the kids, now I need a new camera, the kids need clothes for the fall as well and E & I.
It is my fault, I should just do it and not allow the guilt to creep in. I deserve it.
So who is in? Who never gets a day off and deserves one? Lets all meet up in a posh hotel and order delicious food and get spa treatments!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Urine
Thank you for all of your camera suggestions, I am surprised nobody has my camera, a Canon A70, which I loved until it died. Now I am not loving it so much.
The only thing I didn't like about my camera is that it was bulky, so now I would love a compact, inexpensive digital.
I have a small garden and I have some tomatoes, basil and mint. I usually plant cucumbers but my neighbor usually has so many that he gives me, I could never eat all of mine. Anyway, the rabbits around my yard have taken to eating my tomatoes whether they have ripened or not. This is a terrible problem and the rabbits I usually love seeing around my yard are going to get it if I ever catch them. To make matters worse they usually don't even eat the whole thing! Bastards!
So, I want to get rid of these pests but I don't want to spray the plants with anything because they are organic plants and a organic garden. My sister suggested using coyote urine, which they sell where she works but I couldn't find anything down here. Then I thought about having E pee around the perimeter of my garden. Surely his pee would deter any small animals from coming close to my garden.
This train of thinking has lead me to the conclusion that I need help.
The only thing I didn't like about my camera is that it was bulky, so now I would love a compact, inexpensive digital.
I have a small garden and I have some tomatoes, basil and mint. I usually plant cucumbers but my neighbor usually has so many that he gives me, I could never eat all of mine. Anyway, the rabbits around my yard have taken to eating my tomatoes whether they have ripened or not. This is a terrible problem and the rabbits I usually love seeing around my yard are going to get it if I ever catch them. To make matters worse they usually don't even eat the whole thing! Bastards!
So, I want to get rid of these pests but I don't want to spray the plants with anything because they are organic plants and a organic garden. My sister suggested using coyote urine, which they sell where she works but I couldn't find anything down here. Then I thought about having E pee around the perimeter of my garden. Surely his pee would deter any small animals from coming close to my garden.
This train of thinking has lead me to the conclusion that I need help.
Friday, August 10, 2007
In Other News, It is Finally Raining Here
I wanted to take a picture of the playroom to give you some insight of what it looks like when I have been to busy to have my kids pick up after themselves, but my digital camera is being very fickle.
It has been acting up for a few days, but now I fear it is gone. Dead. To the big electric store in the sky.
I am sad not only for the pictures I am missing out of, but for my wallet. I really want this, but my budget is more likely to get this. Very sad.
Which digital cameras do you people have, or recommend?
It has been acting up for a few days, but now I fear it is gone. Dead. To the big electric store in the sky.
I am sad not only for the pictures I am missing out of, but for my wallet. I really want this, but my budget is more likely to get this. Very sad.
Which digital cameras do you people have, or recommend?
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Depends, Anyone?
I wanted to share with you a picture I had taken a few weeks ago on my way to the beach. This is a store front of a surgical store.
Some great mind decided it would be a great idea and really draw customers in with a entire window front of adult diapers. This would not be my store of choice to go and say, pick up a new cane.
So very odd.
Some great mind decided it would be a great idea and really draw customers in with a entire window front of adult diapers. This would not be my store of choice to go and say, pick up a new cane.So very odd.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Can I Help it That Men are Pervs?
Me: did you see that police office run out of his car to pull me over? He pointed me over? Who has ever heard of that?
E: yeah! What did he say to you?
Me: He said "Is there a reason you are going 48 in a 35?" and I said "no" then he asked "so no medical emergency? no medical reason you would be driving that fast?" again I replied "no" although I wanted to make up an medical excuse like on The Office. I could have said "yes, sir because of my hot dog fingers" or "Yes, I am rushing because of my government created killer nano-robot infection".
E: Uhhhh.
Did you get a ticket?
Me: no.
E: because you are a chick!
Me: yup. I just squeezed my boobs together and leaned into him a little and next thing I know he was telling me to slow down and have a nice day.
E: I can't believe it! Wow. It must be so great to be a girl.
Me: yeah besides the carrying of babies, sometimes two at once, for nine months, cramps, PMS, morning sickness, periods that never leave, catering to small people's every need, cost of bras, .70 to every $1.00 a man makes, embarrassing amount of maternity leave, not being able to pee outside and
stretch marks it is a hoot. The least I can do is not get a ticket once in awhile.
Right ladies?
E: yeah! What did he say to you?
Me: He said "Is there a reason you are going 48 in a 35?" and I said "no" then he asked "so no medical emergency? no medical reason you would be driving that fast?" again I replied "no" although I wanted to make up an medical excuse like on The Office. I could have said "yes, sir because of my hot dog fingers" or "Yes, I am rushing because of my government created killer nano-robot infection".
E: Uhhhh.
Did you get a ticket?
Me: no.
E: because you are a chick!
Me: yup. I just squeezed my boobs together and leaned into him a little and next thing I know he was telling me to slow down and have a nice day.
E: I can't believe it! Wow. It must be so great to be a girl.
Me: yeah besides the carrying of babies, sometimes two at once, for nine months, cramps, PMS, morning sickness, periods that never leave, catering to small people's every need, cost of bras, .70 to every $1.00 a man makes, embarrassing amount of maternity leave, not being able to pee outside and
stretch marks it is a hoot. The least I can do is not get a ticket once in awhile.
Right ladies?
Monday, August 06, 2007
Weekend Recap
This weekend we have had visitors. My sister and brother in law were going to a concert last night so they asked if my niece (13) and my nephew (12) could come on Saturday and stay until Monday afternoon. We all went to the beach yesterday and we had a great time. the weather was great, the waves were great and my kids had a lot of fun with their big cousins. I even got to go to my favorite ice cream place in the island because how could any day go bad if it ends with ice cream?
When we got home we were all tired and we had to get 6 people bathed and fed. Then it was time for me to participate in a online book club where we got to speak to the author and ask her questions, etc. I will not share the podcast with you because my questions were sophomoric and I had no idea it was going to be on the radio. I probably sound like I am 12. Gag.
Then (as if that is not enough for one day) my daughter's tooth fell out right before bed. You can read about it here. She was so excited but it was slightly overshodowed my my son falling on the ground waaayyy overtired yelling about his teeth will never fall out! We told him if he doesn't quiet down, we will help with that problem! Such drama.
Always drama.
When we got home we were all tired and we had to get 6 people bathed and fed. Then it was time for me to participate in a online book club where we got to speak to the author and ask her questions, etc. I will not share the podcast with you because my questions were sophomoric and I had no idea it was going to be on the radio. I probably sound like I am 12. Gag.
Then (as if that is not enough for one day) my daughter's tooth fell out right before bed. You can read about it here. She was so excited but it was slightly overshodowed my my son falling on the ground waaayyy overtired yelling about his teeth will never fall out! We told him if he doesn't quiet down, we will help with that problem! Such drama.
Always drama.
Friday, August 03, 2007
You are All Invited to Dinner!
Thank you all, your prayers worked, E still has a job. We can still eat! Yippee!
To celebrate I went to Starbucks and purchased too much caffeine in the form of an iced coffee.
In other good news, they are building a Carrabbas and a Outback right next to my Target which is about 1 miles from my house. Now, usually I am not a fan of chain restaurants like Macaroni Grill, Chilli's or Fridays but I looove Carrabbas and Outback Steakhouse is the home of the blooming onion and need I say more? My husband is hoping for a Chickies & Petes to open up close to us because now that he no longer works in Philly, he has no excuse to just stop by have a beer and some crab fries with friends.
Really, thank you for caring about my family and sending out well wishes. I do love you peeps.
To celebrate I went to Starbucks and purchased too much caffeine in the form of an iced coffee.
In other good news, they are building a Carrabbas and a Outback right next to my Target which is about 1 miles from my house. Now, usually I am not a fan of chain restaurants like Macaroni Grill, Chilli's or Fridays but I looove Carrabbas and Outback Steakhouse is the home of the blooming onion and need I say more? My husband is hoping for a Chickies & Petes to open up close to us because now that he no longer works in Philly, he has no excuse to just stop by have a beer and some crab fries with friends.
Really, thank you for caring about my family and sending out well wishes. I do love you peeps.
Again, I Ask.
We really need your help right now. If you are the praying type, or the good vibes type or you like to throw positive *anything* out to the universe, I need your help. As of 10:30 this am, E may be out of a job.
You know the one that pays for a roof over our heads, food and clothes? Oh yeah and if he loses his job he loses his company car.
E is a wreck and so am I, I can't stop crying.
Please, some vibes for us? I would really appreciate it!
You know the one that pays for a roof over our heads, food and clothes? Oh yeah and if he loses his job he loses his company car.
E is a wreck and so am I, I can't stop crying.
Please, some vibes for us? I would really appreciate it!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Benefibertini Anyone?
Well, I am glad you peeps like my pale white legs. Unfortunately they are still pale, my legs take forever to tan.
I wish I was at the beach today, I took the kids outside to paint this morning and I lasted 15 minutes. It is so hot and humid today and the fact that there is no shade in my backyard until afternoon, made me head for the central air conditioning. Good thing my children are fast painters.
Maybe I could have them do my bathroom and another coat in my bedroom?
I am young (ish) but I have come to a point in my life where I am either in denial of my age or I have no memory. I keep filling out forms or telling people I am 32, not 33. Either way, it is not a good sign. Another reason I know I am old? I now have to take a heaping scoop of Benefiber in my morning and afternoon juice. It is just a glass of prune juice, yet.
Without getting into too much detail, I am past being irregular. I am eating fiber rich foods but I need a boost, something besides my aloe pills.
It is a sad state of affairs.
It is a sad state of affairs.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Summer Time
Here are some pictures from our vacation, for you, because I care. Certainly not because I still haven't written my article that was due yesterday.
Mussels anyone?
My three kids.
Mussels anyone?
My three kids.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Tiny Update
We came hoem from the beach on Saturday and did a ton of laundry and took well needed naps. Sunday a bad storm flew in and knocked out our cable internet connection. It wasn't until about an hour ago we got it back. This cable company is terrible and their awful customer service is as bad as Directv. Just lie after lie about who was coming to fix it, when, and how.
I have so much to catch up on. Oh and a 700 article to write for a NJ magazine about how to make friends when you move to a new area.
Ha! Me!? I have zero friends here after 4 years, but don't tell them that!
Currently I ambaking chocolate chip cookies with my kids just because I feel like eating cookie dough. How do you like that one?
I have so much to catch up on. Oh and a 700 article to write for a NJ magazine about how to make friends when you move to a new area.
Ha! Me!? I have zero friends here after 4 years, but don't tell them that!
Currently I ambaking chocolate chip cookies with my kids just because I feel like eating cookie dough. How do you like that one?
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Fun/Not Fun
Fun: Spending time at the beach with your family
Not fun: thinking you lost your son, when he walked 5 feet away from where he was 1 minue ago, therefore panicking and losing a god year off of your life and adding 23 grey hairs to your, already too large, collection
Fun: all day on the beach
Not fun: forgetting all reading material
Fun: being so close to the beach
Not fun: Not being able to sleep, at al, all night
Fun: it is going to be a long, fun day
Not fun: It is going to be a long day!
Not fun: thinking you lost your son, when he walked 5 feet away from where he was 1 minue ago, therefore panicking and losing a god year off of your life and adding 23 grey hairs to your, already too large, collection
Fun: all day on the beach
Not fun: forgetting all reading material
Fun: being so close to the beach
Not fun: Not being able to sleep, at al, all night
Fun: it is going to be a long, fun day
Not fun: It is going to be a long day!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Doctors and Cameras
Today I am off to the endocrinologist's office. the one with zero personality and dresses like she just stepped off the set of Little House on the Prairie. Just a thyroid check up, to make sure it is functioning OK. I hope that there are no more blood tests in my future. My little arms cannot take any more incompetence.
Tomorrow I am off to the beach for a few days, I am not sure I will be staying at the beach or coming home at night, so you may or may not hear from me, but when I do get back I will have pictures galore to share.
I would have shown you my bloodied arm but for somre reason my camera is not focusing on close up things very well.
I wish I could buy a new digital camera, I am drooling over this. Sigh.
Bottom line, you will get some pictures just not good ones!
Tomorrow I am off to the beach for a few days, I am not sure I will be staying at the beach or coming home at night, so you may or may not hear from me, but when I do get back I will have pictures galore to share.
I would have shown you my bloodied arm but for somre reason my camera is not focusing on close up things very well.
I wish I could buy a new digital camera, I am drooling over this. Sigh.
Bottom line, you will get some pictures just not good ones!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Stick Me? Stick You!
Funny but you would think that people in the health care industry specifically people who take vials and vials of blood every day, would care about their job.
Instead people in these office seem to all need a personality and the woman who stuck me with a big ass needle in my arm without providing me with the squeeze ball, not only hurt me but also caused me to bleed for a long time.
I bled through the cotton ball. That never happens.
Maybe instead of worrying about free coffees and where they want lunch from today paid for by the pharmaceutical company, they should concern themselves with their job. Maybe the drug reps could bring them all new personalities instead of bagels and doughnuts! Terrific idea.
Now I am nursing my wound at home with two small people who figured out how to work the "childproof" door knob covers. They are geniuses. Evil geniuses. They are also over nap time.
I am not over nap time, I love nap time and I revel in nap time.
Please don't let me lose nap time!
Instead people in these office seem to all need a personality and the woman who stuck me with a big ass needle in my arm without providing me with the squeeze ball, not only hurt me but also caused me to bleed for a long time.
I bled through the cotton ball. That never happens.
Maybe instead of worrying about free coffees and where they want lunch from today paid for by the pharmaceutical company, they should concern themselves with their job. Maybe the drug reps could bring them all new personalities instead of bagels and doughnuts! Terrific idea.
Now I am nursing my wound at home with two small people who figured out how to work the "childproof" door knob covers. They are geniuses. Evil geniuses. They are also over nap time.
I am not over nap time, I love nap time and I revel in nap time.
Please don't let me lose nap time!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Lack of Energy
I woke up too early today and now I am paying for it. I am exhausted and I would love to have a nap. Normally I am not a nap person, I think it is a tease and I wake up grumpy and foggy. Not a pleasure to be around.
I forced myself to go to the gym today and I hated every minute. After awhile I usually get into the groove and like pushing myself but not today, after 45 minutes I called it quits. I got the kids and walked to the car, I wanted a cheeseburger from Fruddrukers which is conveniently located right next door to the gym, but I resisted temptation. Then I saw Panera (yum!), again right next to the gym on the other side. Fuckers.
Now I am counting the minutes until E comes home because I am going to nap today. E has to work tonight and if I don't nap I know the kids will be running around the house with me passed out by 7pm. Not good.
A girl has to know her own limitations.
I forced myself to go to the gym today and I hated every minute. After awhile I usually get into the groove and like pushing myself but not today, after 45 minutes I called it quits. I got the kids and walked to the car, I wanted a cheeseburger from Fruddrukers which is conveniently located right next door to the gym, but I resisted temptation. Then I saw Panera (yum!), again right next to the gym on the other side. Fuckers.
Now I am counting the minutes until E comes home because I am going to nap today. E has to work tonight and if I don't nap I know the kids will be running around the house with me passed out by 7pm. Not good.
A girl has to know her own limitations.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I am a worrier
I am not a "in the now" type of person. I never have been. It is a decision I have to make to try and live in the moment, because usually my mind is what could go wrong/why did I make those stupid mistakes as a teen/what does the future hold. One of the most things I concentrate wayyy to much on is getting older.
When I was 19 staring down my 20th birthday, I decided I was aging way to fast. I was the girl that loved high school and didn't want to leave. I realized what a good deal it is to live at home, have everything paid for, dinner on the table and my only real concern being what to wear the next day. I liked my friends, my life. I voiced these concerns and the disdain I felt for turning 20 to my mom who just laughed. "You are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, why must you worry about silly things, that you cannot control?"
I am not sure. But I do. I watched the older men and women at the gym today and I worry when I am that old will I look at the young people and wish I was young again? Will I desire my youth so much that I can't enjoy my last half of my life.
I realized that is what I am doing to myself now. I am worrying about aging, without realizing I am young and healthy now. My kids and my husband are young and healthy, why can't I just live and enjoy it.
I hope that I do get old and that I can look back on my life and just be happy that I lived it. I am trying.
When I was 19 staring down my 20th birthday, I decided I was aging way to fast. I was the girl that loved high school and didn't want to leave. I realized what a good deal it is to live at home, have everything paid for, dinner on the table and my only real concern being what to wear the next day. I liked my friends, my life. I voiced these concerns and the disdain I felt for turning 20 to my mom who just laughed. "You are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, why must you worry about silly things, that you cannot control?"
I am not sure. But I do. I watched the older men and women at the gym today and I worry when I am that old will I look at the young people and wish I was young again? Will I desire my youth so much that I can't enjoy my last half of my life.
I realized that is what I am doing to myself now. I am worrying about aging, without realizing I am young and healthy now. My kids and my husband are young and healthy, why can't I just live and enjoy it.
I hope that I do get old and that I can look back on my life and just be happy that I lived it. I am trying.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Boring
What can I say, my life is boring these daysand so not blog worthy. I go to whole foods, I go to the free movies and I wait until the days Big Brother is on. Tonight no B.B. but dateline! with perverted justice! in NJ! It is going to be great.
In the meantime, go read about my daughter's loose tooth.
In the meantime, go read about my daughter's loose tooth.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
My Weekend
We were out and about this weekend and we had a lot of fun. We took the kids to get crocs, which I hate except these because they look so comfortable and I saw a woman wearing them and she raved about them for 20 minutes and they really didn't look that hideous on. Then we went to lunch and after, they each got a desperately needed haircut.
Yesterday we went to the beach and it was so very crowded. The uncomfortable, lets try to squeeze in a spot crowded. It was a beautiful day and besides the water being a freezing 65 degrees, the kids loved it. R went into the ocean for the first time since she was about 15 months old. Last year she refused to even put her feet in the water. She was content playing in the sand, hanging out with her aunts and cousins.
yesterday she was sitting in the tide, rolling, laughing and chasing the waves. It was amazing to see the changes in a year. My kids are brave and love life so much that you cannot help to be happy around them.
Other then that, I have nothing left to post. I know, I am boring!
Yesterday we went to the beach and it was so very crowded. The uncomfortable, lets try to squeeze in a spot crowded. It was a beautiful day and besides the water being a freezing 65 degrees, the kids loved it. R went into the ocean for the first time since she was about 15 months old. Last year she refused to even put her feet in the water. She was content playing in the sand, hanging out with her aunts and cousins.
yesterday she was sitting in the tide, rolling, laughing and chasing the waves. It was amazing to see the changes in a year. My kids are brave and love life so much that you cannot help to be happy around them.
Other then that, I have nothing left to post. I know, I am boring!
Friday, July 13, 2007
The Gym
Things I hate about the gym include but are not limited to:
The fact that I continually think about how I could accidentally fall off the treadmill and roll down the aisle.
The gynecologist machine where you sit down straddle the machine with your thighs and open and shut them. This is good or bad, depending how you look at it, when you are wearing short shorts.
How much I hate working out
Thinking people are staring at me from behind. That is why I always use the last row of machines.
My fear of coming in too late for a class and everyone stare at you while you scramble for a mat or a ball the size of Saturn. This ball was last seen by my eyes in a birthing room. This also scares me.
Three words: death by cardio
The fact that I continually think about how I could accidentally fall off the treadmill and roll down the aisle.
The gynecologist machine where you sit down straddle the machine with your thighs and open and shut them. This is good or bad, depending how you look at it, when you are wearing short shorts.
How much I hate working out
Thinking people are staring at me from behind. That is why I always use the last row of machines.
My fear of coming in too late for a class and everyone stare at you while you scramble for a mat or a ball the size of Saturn. This ball was last seen by my eyes in a birthing room. This also scares me.
Three words: death by cardio
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Send Help, I Mean food
Things I am craving right now so intensely that I cannot write about anything else, in no particular order I just want them all. Now :
chocolate mousse
homemade french onion soup
brownies
chick fil a
peach bread that I saw on Food Network
chocolate cake with chocolate icing
Does anyone else think my period is coming?
P.S. send me these things asap.
chocolate mousse
homemade french onion soup
brownies
chick fil a
peach bread that I saw on Food Network
chocolate cake with chocolate icing
Does anyone else think my period is coming?
P.S. send me these things asap.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Men Who Sleep. Anywhere.
We were invited to one of my best friend's sons birthday party in May. She has a few friends and family at her house. It was a great time and I was happy I got to see my friends and their kids.
What I didn't expect to see is at least two men (at different times) napping on a couch in the living room. they just took a nap at a party, at someone elses house. Not only strange but really strange.
This is not the first time I have seen this, I have been at many parties where this has occured. Usually these men don'e even find and out of the way location to snooze in, they just sleep anywhere, even in a crowded room. Obviously these people have never been antiqued.
My sister's husband is like that he can sleep anywhere at any time. He will just sleep sitting up, laying down, at someones house, in his house with company over, whatever.
It is only men who do this. Women never just lay down and nap. I don't even nap in my own home on a lazy Saturday.
What is this phenomenon? Is it narcolepsy that strikes only men of varying ages? I sit laziness? Does the male chromosome carry the sleep anywhere gene?
I am fascinated.
What I didn't expect to see is at least two men (at different times) napping on a couch in the living room. they just took a nap at a party, at someone elses house. Not only strange but really strange.
This is not the first time I have seen this, I have been at many parties where this has occured. Usually these men don'e even find and out of the way location to snooze in, they just sleep anywhere, even in a crowded room. Obviously these people have never been antiqued.
My sister's husband is like that he can sleep anywhere at any time. He will just sleep sitting up, laying down, at someones house, in his house with company over, whatever.
It is only men who do this. Women never just lay down and nap. I don't even nap in my own home on a lazy Saturday.
What is this phenomenon? Is it narcolepsy that strikes only men of varying ages? I sit laziness? Does the male chromosome carry the sleep anywhere gene?
I am fascinated.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The Gym
Yesterday E and I went the the gym. Gasp. My lazy butt actually went to the gym. Look out your window, there has to be pigs flying.
We took the kids because they have a kid center while you work out and I felt OK about leaving them there, especially because I knew we weren't going to be there that long, because you know, me and they gym are not BFF yet.
L was hesitant at first because it was new and he was not sure about the us leaving part. I assured him R would be right there with him and he would be fine.
As soon as E and I were done we went together to pick up the kids, as we reached the door I heard a page Mrs. Tuesday to the Kid center. I thought L was having a mini breakdown.
No, he just peed his pants. WTF? He has been potty trained for a year and a half and now pees in his pants? He went to the bathroom right before we left the house and he has access to a bathroom.
This is not a new one, on the 3rd of July while we were gathered to watch fireworks in a big park, he told us he had to go to the bathroom. I asked him if he could hold it (it had only been about 2 hours since he last went) he said now and then proceeded to pee himself in front of us and all the other firework lovers. I was embarrassed of him. I was embarrassed for him.
I have no idea what sparked this recent urine fest, and no idea what to do about it.
I have learned one lesson through all of this though, leave a change of clothes in the car at all times and that girl at the kid center is so judging me.
We took the kids because they have a kid center while you work out and I felt OK about leaving them there, especially because I knew we weren't going to be there that long, because you know, me and they gym are not BFF yet.
L was hesitant at first because it was new and he was not sure about the us leaving part. I assured him R would be right there with him and he would be fine.
As soon as E and I were done we went together to pick up the kids, as we reached the door I heard a page Mrs. Tuesday to the Kid center. I thought L was having a mini breakdown.
No, he just peed his pants. WTF? He has been potty trained for a year and a half and now pees in his pants? He went to the bathroom right before we left the house and he has access to a bathroom.
This is not a new one, on the 3rd of July while we were gathered to watch fireworks in a big park, he told us he had to go to the bathroom. I asked him if he could hold it (it had only been about 2 hours since he last went) he said now and then proceeded to pee himself in front of us and all the other firework lovers. I was embarrassed of him. I was embarrassed for him.
I have no idea what sparked this recent urine fest, and no idea what to do about it.
I have learned one lesson through all of this though, leave a change of clothes in the car at all times and that girl at the kid center is so judging me.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
With Daylight Comes The Sun
Did I ever tell you how I was stalked by Kabbalah peoples? Well, it was my own fault, I contacted them first.
OK, before you judge let me explain.
My father had just died. There was no reasoning in my world. I didn't believe in god, in fact if there was one, I despised him. I didn't want to hear "everything happens for a reason" or "god knows what he is doing" or any other ridiculous, thoughtless, obligatory shit. Oh, do babies die for a reason? Do children suffer every day for a reason?
That thinking just wasn't for me, and I wanted to strangle anyone who dare speak it to me. Including my Mom, the church goer, the god believer, the one who lost her own father was he was in his early 50s and she was 25, she of all people should have known better.
It could have been my denial and grief speaking, the fact that I myself wanted to die, the unbearable physical pain that wracked my body every day, the only escape was the shower where I would let it out, my cries silent, my body wet and crumpled not allowing anyone to see how truly fucked up I was.
So I searched not for answers per se, but for meaning. To life, to death, to ebb and flow, I am not sure, but I wanted there to be an answer. Even if I didn't like to hear it, I wanted to know and to grow from it.
I read. Self help books, grieving books, books on Taoism, on life, on anything, searching. Kabbalah wasn't as prevalent as it is now, it wasn't yet cool to sport a red string but I researched it. It brought me comfort, it alluded to some answers. I contacted them to get more information. They called me every day for months, telling me about the books I would need and the prayer books, the materials, the string. To find my answer, it would have cost me hundreds, which I would have gladly paid, if I was sure. Every phone call they gave me, lead me away from them, they wanted my money, and maybe my soul.
Four years later, I am older, not much wiser and I still don't have the answer I so desperately searched for, because it is not there. Belief is what you need. Like my Mom, where belief is what gets her through the days, the people who believe in luck, or the person who believes their are spirits "guiding" them. Even the person who believes everything happens for a reason.
I believe there are good times and bad. Some people have more bad then good. Some people make the bad into good. I believe that people are not born bad, but made that way by other people, time and life.
I believe that bad things happen to good people and even assholes can get lucky sometimes. I believe it takes more then just money to make you happy. I believe in good friends, soul mates, that people need to take more responsibility with their lives and the lives of their neighbors.
I believe in goodness.
Is that faith? I have no idea, I just know what gets me through the day.
OK, before you judge let me explain.
My father had just died. There was no reasoning in my world. I didn't believe in god, in fact if there was one, I despised him. I didn't want to hear "everything happens for a reason" or "god knows what he is doing" or any other ridiculous, thoughtless, obligatory shit. Oh, do babies die for a reason? Do children suffer every day for a reason?
That thinking just wasn't for me, and I wanted to strangle anyone who dare speak it to me. Including my Mom, the church goer, the god believer, the one who lost her own father was he was in his early 50s and she was 25, she of all people should have known better.
It could have been my denial and grief speaking, the fact that I myself wanted to die, the unbearable physical pain that wracked my body every day, the only escape was the shower where I would let it out, my cries silent, my body wet and crumpled not allowing anyone to see how truly fucked up I was.
So I searched not for answers per se, but for meaning. To life, to death, to ebb and flow, I am not sure, but I wanted there to be an answer. Even if I didn't like to hear it, I wanted to know and to grow from it.
I read. Self help books, grieving books, books on Taoism, on life, on anything, searching. Kabbalah wasn't as prevalent as it is now, it wasn't yet cool to sport a red string but I researched it. It brought me comfort, it alluded to some answers. I contacted them to get more information. They called me every day for months, telling me about the books I would need and the prayer books, the materials, the string. To find my answer, it would have cost me hundreds, which I would have gladly paid, if I was sure. Every phone call they gave me, lead me away from them, they wanted my money, and maybe my soul.
Four years later, I am older, not much wiser and I still don't have the answer I so desperately searched for, because it is not there. Belief is what you need. Like my Mom, where belief is what gets her through the days, the people who believe in luck, or the person who believes their are spirits "guiding" them. Even the person who believes everything happens for a reason.
I believe there are good times and bad. Some people have more bad then good. Some people make the bad into good. I believe that people are not born bad, but made that way by other people, time and life.
I believe that bad things happen to good people and even assholes can get lucky sometimes. I believe it takes more then just money to make you happy. I believe in good friends, soul mates, that people need to take more responsibility with their lives and the lives of their neighbors.
I believe in goodness.
Is that faith? I have no idea, I just know what gets me through the day.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Camping? Camp Not!
I married a camper. Yes, it is hard to believe that a high maintenance girl like myself married, let alone dated, a full blown hiking, camping, mountain man.
Alas I did, and as of today, two weeks shy of being with E for 11 years (what?), I have never relented on the camping ideas.
He has been camping many, many times over the years without me. He even goes here every year with all the other granola, more-then-slightly-dirty hippies. I get some peer pressure to go camping! we'll rent a cabin, it will be so. much. fun.
I don't buy it for a second.
I can get that it would be fun at night, I like the idea of the campfire, smores, roasting hot dogs, telling ghost stories and all of that. Then my mind wanders to the facts that I will have to pee and maybe even poop outside, snakes, the cold, the heat, and the plain old boredom during the day. I mean after a hike and/or fishing really what is left to friggin do?
People built houses so they didn't have to live in tents. That tells me right there how great tents are. I do not care that E has a 67 person tent with a living room or whatever unless it comes with a flat screen, Tivo and a hot tub. Living in my own filth for days is not fun, nor is it a vacation.
Well, it is a vacation from being clean and having comforts. I mean we pay a lot of money for this house with its "things" like beds and a potty, why leave it to sleep on the hard ground?
I wonder how long I can put off camping. E wants to take the kids and I am not too sure about him going alone with the kids. I mean bears and snakes and all.
I am just buying time for now, I will end up going I am sure sooner then later. E knows he is in for it because I am just thinking about the industrial sized antibacterial everything I am going to be purchasing.
On the up side though, think of the pictures and what I would have to write about!
Alas I did, and as of today, two weeks shy of being with E for 11 years (what?), I have never relented on the camping ideas.
He has been camping many, many times over the years without me. He even goes here every year with all the other granola, more-then-slightly-dirty hippies. I get some peer pressure to go camping! we'll rent a cabin, it will be so. much. fun.
I don't buy it for a second.
I can get that it would be fun at night, I like the idea of the campfire, smores, roasting hot dogs, telling ghost stories and all of that. Then my mind wanders to the facts that I will have to pee and maybe even poop outside, snakes, the cold, the heat, and the plain old boredom during the day. I mean after a hike and/or fishing really what is left to friggin do?
People built houses so they didn't have to live in tents. That tells me right there how great tents are. I do not care that E has a 67 person tent with a living room or whatever unless it comes with a flat screen, Tivo and a hot tub. Living in my own filth for days is not fun, nor is it a vacation.
Well, it is a vacation from being clean and having comforts. I mean we pay a lot of money for this house with its "things" like beds and a potty, why leave it to sleep on the hard ground?
I wonder how long I can put off camping. E wants to take the kids and I am not too sure about him going alone with the kids. I mean bears and snakes and all.
I am just buying time for now, I will end up going I am sure sooner then later. E knows he is in for it because I am just thinking about the industrial sized antibacterial everything I am going to be purchasing.
On the up side though, think of the pictures and what I would have to write about!
Monday, July 02, 2007
Stay Tuned
My sister and her family is here visiting for the 4th of July festivities. You will have to stay tuned for a bit longer and more rant filled post.
I am about to go off on camping, men who sleep anywhere at anytime (WTF?)and light bulbs who go out after .9 hours of usage.
Until then my little chickadees, let me run off to whole foods for a couple of things I "forgot" and see if my men are still in love. Especially those seafood men in their orange fish pants (completely technical term) and muscle shirts, flinging fish back to each other and then, boom! someones suspenders broke and you are pretending to look at those fresh salmon fillets, but he is bending over and wow! look at those muscles and the glass is fogging up and he asks you if you need help, and boy! do you.........oh,
ahem
Excuse me, I need a quick shower before Whole Foods.
I am about to go off on camping, men who sleep anywhere at anytime (WTF?)and light bulbs who go out after .9 hours of usage.
Until then my little chickadees, let me run off to whole foods for a couple of things I "forgot" and see if my men are still in love. Especially those seafood men in their orange fish pants (completely technical term) and muscle shirts, flinging fish back to each other and then, boom! someones suspenders broke and you are pretending to look at those fresh salmon fillets, but he is bending over and wow! look at those muscles and the glass is fogging up and he asks you if you need help, and boy! do you.........oh,
ahem
Excuse me, I need a quick shower before Whole Foods.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Whole Fun
I chose to believe the men who work at Whole foods are all in love with me instead of that maybe they are just trained to be so nice and friendly. I swear, if you are having a bad day just go to WF and you will get nice attentive men and woman willing to help you, talk about your day and they are always smiling.
Maybe it is a cult.
E comes home today and I am so ready to have someone else watch the kids. Although he has to work tomorrow which means I have to find something for the kids and I to do, again. I swear, finding activities to do every day is a hard part of being a mother. Next summer I am just going to join a pool and be done with it. that is what we are doing every day.
At least I will have a nice tan.
Maybe it is a cult.
E comes home today and I am so ready to have someone else watch the kids. Although he has to work tomorrow which means I have to find something for the kids and I to do, again. I swear, finding activities to do every day is a hard part of being a mother. Next summer I am just going to join a pool and be done with it. that is what we are doing every day.
At least I will have a nice tan.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
1+1+1=death
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins= a crappy dinner
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = too much TV
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = boredom
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = early bed time for everyone in this house
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = desperately searching for gooey snacks mid afternoon, only to realize we have none and WHY? don't I stash some somewhere for myself
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = yelling from me and the kids.
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = did I mention I was bored?
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = too much TV
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = boredom
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = early bed time for everyone in this house
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = desperately searching for gooey snacks mid afternoon, only to realize we have none and WHY? don't I stash some somewhere for myself
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = yelling from me and the kids.
No husband + no help + 4 year old twins = did I mention I was bored?
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
If You Wait For Me, Then I Will Come For You
My husband is going away on business (again) tomorrow morning and will not be back until Friday night. Not too bad, but because I have no one else down here, missing him is intensified.
E and I met at work. I didn't want to date him, he persisted and I relented. We spent all of our time outside of work with each other and it was remarkable how close we became in such a little amount of time. Two months after we started dating, he had a trip planned to visit his sister and he asked if I wanted to come. I decided not to because I wanted to move out of my house and I wanted to save money (mistake, live at home as long as you can to save money, ass!). So he left for his small vacation and I was sick the first day. I was tired, I cried all the time and I felt sick. It was pathetic and I knew it but I was also so taken with how hard I fell for him in such a short amount of time. After all, I was so young, what did I know about love?
Right then, I knew I would marry him one day.
Still now more then 10 years after he took that first trip to visit his sister, I get sick when he leaves. Sometimes I sob as I watch the car service pull out of the driveway. Sometimes I just can't look, but I cry when I find the "I Love You" notes throughout the house. Other times I don't cry, but I am so sad, I never feel the same until my husband walks back in to our home and makes me whole again.
After all of these years, I still miss him. We don't have a perfect marriage, believe me we do not. We have had our problems, we have had a lot of stress in the past 4 years, we have raised our kids with virtually no help or breaks. We have had death, we have had health scares, we have had a miscarriage, we have had financial struggles, we have had trust issues. We work through it, we do it together. At the end of the day, I still love him as much as I did so many years ago, when I was too young to know about true love.
Tomorrow I will be so sad as his car pulls out of our driveway, again, but I know I will be OK once he comes back to me, as long as we are together.
E and I met at work. I didn't want to date him, he persisted and I relented. We spent all of our time outside of work with each other and it was remarkable how close we became in such a little amount of time. Two months after we started dating, he had a trip planned to visit his sister and he asked if I wanted to come. I decided not to because I wanted to move out of my house and I wanted to save money (mistake, live at home as long as you can to save money, ass!). So he left for his small vacation and I was sick the first day. I was tired, I cried all the time and I felt sick. It was pathetic and I knew it but I was also so taken with how hard I fell for him in such a short amount of time. After all, I was so young, what did I know about love?
Right then, I knew I would marry him one day.
Still now more then 10 years after he took that first trip to visit his sister, I get sick when he leaves. Sometimes I sob as I watch the car service pull out of the driveway. Sometimes I just can't look, but I cry when I find the "I Love You" notes throughout the house. Other times I don't cry, but I am so sad, I never feel the same until my husband walks back in to our home and makes me whole again.
After all of these years, I still miss him. We don't have a perfect marriage, believe me we do not. We have had our problems, we have had a lot of stress in the past 4 years, we have raised our kids with virtually no help or breaks. We have had death, we have had health scares, we have had a miscarriage, we have had financial struggles, we have had trust issues. We work through it, we do it together. At the end of the day, I still love him as much as I did so many years ago, when I was too young to know about true love.
Tomorrow I will be so sad as his car pulls out of our driveway, again, but I know I will be OK once he comes back to me, as long as we are together.
Monday, June 25, 2007
There are Not that Many Things to do With Pea Pods
Really have I been out of the loop for that long? When did ice cream cones get expensive?
Seriously, is it that people have been buying me cones for so long I never knew how much they were? Maybe I was under the illusion that frozen sugar and cream shouldn't go for that much. When E paid for 2 cones and 2 kid's cups of ice cream and it was $13.00, I almost fell off my chair.
I went berry picking with the kids on Saturday (2nd Saturday in a row spent in berry fields, for those of you who are keeping score) and after they wanted ice cream, $5.25 for two kid cones of soft serve. Ice cream really should not cost more then $1.50 for a cone. I am outraged!
So yeah, we went berry picking again. I love going on a tractor ride to the fields just to have my daughter declare " I have to go to the bathroom" and my son ask "can we go back on the tractor now?" . We are picking strawberries people! This is FUN, LET'S HAVE FUN!
Now again I have a ton of strawberries and pea pods. Good thing my kids do not get sick of them. I, on the other hand, cannot be responsible for what I will do if I see another pea pod in my salad.
Seriously, is it that people have been buying me cones for so long I never knew how much they were? Maybe I was under the illusion that frozen sugar and cream shouldn't go for that much. When E paid for 2 cones and 2 kid's cups of ice cream and it was $13.00, I almost fell off my chair.
I went berry picking with the kids on Saturday (2nd Saturday in a row spent in berry fields, for those of you who are keeping score) and after they wanted ice cream, $5.25 for two kid cones of soft serve. Ice cream really should not cost more then $1.50 for a cone. I am outraged!
So yeah, we went berry picking again. I love going on a tractor ride to the fields just to have my daughter declare " I have to go to the bathroom" and my son ask "can we go back on the tractor now?" . We are picking strawberries people! This is FUN, LET'S HAVE FUN!
Now again I have a ton of strawberries and pea pods. Good thing my kids do not get sick of them. I, on the other hand, cannot be responsible for what I will do if I see another pea pod in my salad.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Own vs. Rent
So? I was grumpy yesterday, I am allowed. This has been a long hot summer already and we are one day into it. The guy who was checking me out at a red light yesterday helped, especially because I had two kids in the back seat, which, let's face it, is usually a cock blocker.
Did I mention that our fish finally died? The goldfish we got before Halloween died last week and the kids still haven't noticed. Poor fellow, I can't believe how long he lived.
Oh I need some summer reads. Really, becoming a mother has killed my book habit cold, unless you count reading books about ladybugs and spiderman's adventures 34 times a day reading. I want my 3 book a week addiction like I had pre-kids.
I really should go to the library, but that pesky Barnes & Noble keeps calling me back. I love book stores, I love the smell of them, I love cracking a new book's spine. I love that the book is mine. I don't like to borrow books, and I hate those plastic covers on library books. Library books are f-r-e-e though and that sounds nice to me. I just can't help buying books though and I have boxes of old read and reread books to sell at a garage sale someday. It doesn't help that I have a B&N and Borders less then a mile from my home.
So come on, recommend a book or two for me this summer, it can be anything fiction, beach reads, non fiction, whatever you think I have to read.
This is going to be fun, like the summers in elementary school where I was the book club and in second grade I read 80 books over the summer.
Yes, I was a dork.
Did I mention that our fish finally died? The goldfish we got before Halloween died last week and the kids still haven't noticed. Poor fellow, I can't believe how long he lived.
Oh I need some summer reads. Really, becoming a mother has killed my book habit cold, unless you count reading books about ladybugs and spiderman's adventures 34 times a day reading. I want my 3 book a week addiction like I had pre-kids.
I really should go to the library, but that pesky Barnes & Noble keeps calling me back. I love book stores, I love the smell of them, I love cracking a new book's spine. I love that the book is mine. I don't like to borrow books, and I hate those plastic covers on library books. Library books are f-r-e-e though and that sounds nice to me. I just can't help buying books though and I have boxes of old read and reread books to sell at a garage sale someday. It doesn't help that I have a B&N and Borders less then a mile from my home.
So come on, recommend a book or two for me this summer, it can be anything fiction, beach reads, non fiction, whatever you think I have to read.
This is going to be fun, like the summers in elementary school where I was the book club and in second grade I read 80 books over the summer.
Yes, I was a dork.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Compliment or Judgement
"You are the most beautiful woman in the world to me."
Those words were spoken to me last night. Hey, compliments are hard to come by so I usually never take one for granted, but the to me part? Backhanded compliment or am I being sensitive?
You are so beautiful, to me, but to everyone else you are fug-ly!
That is how I took it.
Can women take compliments without thinking? Are we even capable of that? Do you get "you look nice in that shirt" without hearing "that is the only shirt you have that doesn't make you look fat" or "you look nice today" without "finally! you look semi decent" in your head?
Is this something only women struggle with? Can men just take a "that is a nice suit" compliment and move on?
Why must women think more of it or more into it?
It infuriates me that the awkward, unsure girl of 14 is still lurking in my mind reminding me that I don't compare, that I have no reason for confidence. I want her gone and replaced by the secure, mature woman I really want to be.
I so want to be.
Will she ever go, or will there be a reminder of her even when I am old and grey and don't care anymore?
Until then I see this conversation in my not-so-distant future:
Me: your penis is soo big
E: thank you
Me: to me
E: ??????
Me: : )
Those words were spoken to me last night. Hey, compliments are hard to come by so I usually never take one for granted, but the to me part? Backhanded compliment or am I being sensitive?
You are so beautiful, to me, but to everyone else you are fug-ly!
That is how I took it.
Can women take compliments without thinking? Are we even capable of that? Do you get "you look nice in that shirt" without hearing "that is the only shirt you have that doesn't make you look fat" or "you look nice today" without "finally! you look semi decent" in your head?
Is this something only women struggle with? Can men just take a "that is a nice suit" compliment and move on?
Why must women think more of it or more into it?
It infuriates me that the awkward, unsure girl of 14 is still lurking in my mind reminding me that I don't compare, that I have no reason for confidence. I want her gone and replaced by the secure, mature woman I really want to be.
I so want to be.
Will she ever go, or will there be a reminder of her even when I am old and grey and don't care anymore?
Until then I see this conversation in my not-so-distant future:
Me: your penis is soo big
E: thank you
Me: to me
E: ??????
Me: : )
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Here Comes The Sun
Did you ever eat something all the time and place it back in the cabinet for later use when one day, after years of placing the item back into the cabinet, you read the label and it says "refrigerate after opening"?
WTF? Who knew you had to refrigerate chocolate syrup after opening? I thought it was a cabinet staple. Cold, thick chocolate syrup is not what I am into, I want room temperature syrup.
What else do you keep in the fridge after opening, peanut butter? Syrup?
Yesterday I did fall asleep at the movies with the kids.
In my defense Clifford's Really Big Movie is the Really Worst Movie and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. It was a small cat nap and I feel terrible, but the kids did not notice and they were still there when I woke up! Bonus!
WTF? Who knew you had to refrigerate chocolate syrup after opening? I thought it was a cabinet staple. Cold, thick chocolate syrup is not what I am into, I want room temperature syrup.
What else do you keep in the fridge after opening, peanut butter? Syrup?
Yesterday I did fall asleep at the movies with the kids.
In my defense Clifford's Really Big Movie is the Really Worst Movie and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. It was a small cat nap and I feel terrible, but the kids did not notice and they were still there when I woke up! Bonus!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Fry This
I am off to the free movies with the kids. I really hope I do not fall asleep in the theater and my kids are left to fend from themselves.
That would not be so good.
Last night I figured something out, I am a terrific cook but a terrible fryer. I never fry foods, well maybe a chicken cutlet here or there, but other then that no frying for me.
Yesterday I wanted to try making chicken fried steak. I have no idea why, I think I saw it on a commercial and wanted it. I went to the store bought the ingredients, and tried my hand at it.
No good.
All the breading comes off when I turned the meat to brown the other side. I even tried double dipping it into the buttermilk, flour and back again.
Does anyone know what I am doing wrong?
I am not sure it matters, I doubt I will try frying again. I am glad it is unhealthy, I don't want fried foods anyway.
That is a lie, I will just have to order out for all my fried food needs.
That would not be so good.
Last night I figured something out, I am a terrific cook but a terrible fryer. I never fry foods, well maybe a chicken cutlet here or there, but other then that no frying for me.
Yesterday I wanted to try making chicken fried steak. I have no idea why, I think I saw it on a commercial and wanted it. I went to the store bought the ingredients, and tried my hand at it.
No good.
All the breading comes off when I turned the meat to brown the other side. I even tried double dipping it into the buttermilk, flour and back again.
Does anyone know what I am doing wrong?
I am not sure it matters, I doubt I will try frying again. I am glad it is unhealthy, I don't want fried foods anyway.
That is a lie, I will just have to order out for all my fried food needs.
Monday, June 18, 2007
The Best Post Ever
I feel like I spend my entire day loading and unloading the dishwasher. I realize now why that is.
Because I do.
Who has the serum to make twins stop fighting amongst each other? I need it pronto.
I really need a job.
Because I do.
Who has the serum to make twins stop fighting amongst each other? I need it pronto.
I really need a job.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Today
Today, I just miss my Dad.
I feel bad for E because I will never celebrate this day the way he deserves it to be celebrated, because he is a wonderful dad.
I just want mine back.
It will never be OK, it will never be the same, it is what it is and it is with me all the time. It makes me who I am today and I am proud I am so strong.
It is my mantra, I will repeat it to myself all day as I go to the beach he took me as a girl, the one with all of the beautiful memories. I will veil my tears from my family as I make new memories.
I will go on, because how could I not?
I feel bad for E because I will never celebrate this day the way he deserves it to be celebrated, because he is a wonderful dad.
I just want mine back.
It will never be OK, it will never be the same, it is what it is and it is with me all the time. It makes me who I am today and I am proud I am so strong.
It is my mantra, I will repeat it to myself all day as I go to the beach he took me as a girl, the one with all of the beautiful memories. I will veil my tears from my family as I make new memories.
I will go on, because how could I not?
Friday, June 15, 2007
It's Either That Or Nothing
What's that? Fathers Day is this Sunday you say?
Who knew? Not me I can tell you that. With all the in-law excitement and the husband/wife quarrels, I had no idea.
I am sure my husband will be OK with a card that is in Spanish made for a great grandfather, because I am sure that is all that is left at Hallmark.
Oh well, perhaps I should go the (easy! cheap!) Fish route and give him a bj for Father's Day. It is better then a stupid tie, that I know.
I have to be the #1 wife in the world.
Have to be.
Who knew? Not me I can tell you that. With all the in-law excitement and the husband/wife quarrels, I had no idea.
I am sure my husband will be OK with a card that is in Spanish made for a great grandfather, because I am sure that is all that is left at Hallmark.
Oh well, perhaps I should go the (easy! cheap!) Fish route and give him a bj for Father's Day. It is better then a stupid tie, that I know.
I have to be the #1 wife in the world.
Have to be.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Grandparents
What is it about grandparents anyway? Why do we love them so much? Is it the connection with being at the beginning of our life as our grandparents are nearing the end? Is it the spoiling and all the gifts?
Gifts can never be wrong.
Is it that they all love to sneak snacks all day and love taking naps?
I bet it is the gifts.
Or the hard candy. Why do all grandparents have hard candy? Is it a requirement to get the "senior" discounts?
"Yes, I will have a senior drink and a senior entrance to the movies?"
"Sure sir, I will just have to check your hard candy first."
"Ah two pieces? Well it is a little low, ok, but next time make sure you have more then that"
I miss my grandparents and I grew up 5 minutes from their home, I can't imagine mine living in another state. It takes a little while to warm my kids back up to their grandparents but after that, they are in heaven.
It has to be the gifts.
Gifts can never be wrong.
Is it that they all love to sneak snacks all day and love taking naps?
I bet it is the gifts.
Or the hard candy. Why do all grandparents have hard candy? Is it a requirement to get the "senior" discounts?
"Yes, I will have a senior drink and a senior entrance to the movies?"
"Sure sir, I will just have to check your hard candy first."
"Ah two pieces? Well it is a little low, ok, but next time make sure you have more then that"
I miss my grandparents and I grew up 5 minutes from their home, I can't imagine mine living in another state. It takes a little while to warm my kids back up to their grandparents but after that, they are in heaven.
It has to be the gifts.
One More Day
I escaped to the Atlantic City area yesterday to hang out with my Mom. My in-laws took the kids to the movies and hung out with them and I fled the scene of all crimes.
I am acting like the model daughter-in-law, smiling, acting and trying to please everyone. I am doing well but the real test will be today. It has a good chance of raining today and E is working today and again tonight so I am in charge of all things entertainment.
I feel great about it! I am doing what my husband wants!
I SHOULD WIN AN EMMY!
I am acting like the model daughter-in-law, smiling, acting and trying to please everyone. I am doing well but the real test will be today. It has a good chance of raining today and E is working today and again tonight so I am in charge of all things entertainment.
I feel great about it! I am doing what my husband wants!
I SHOULD WIN AN EMMY!
Monday, June 11, 2007
It is Only Monday???
Oh, how is it going you ask? Well, it is 9:15 and I have a screaming headache. Does that tell you anything?
I have been fighting with E for two days. He knows I do not like his parents because they do not like me. I have tried with them. For eleven years I have tried for nothing and now I do not want to try anymore. I am done.
If I stay around my kids they think I am hovering and controlling, and if I leave them alone with the kids I am being snotty and anti-social. I can't win.
I realize now I will never win. I just want to exist.
They have made snotty comments to me and behind my back, telling E that they have "to walk on eggshells with me or they are scared they will never see their grand kids again". Bullshit.
They never see their grandchildren because they decided to move to Florida in a fit of early retirement and although we didn't have children yet, they did have a 3 & 4 year old grandchildren they left here in NJ. Woe is me.
If you feel guilty about leaving, well how is that my problem?
E doesn't want to hear it anymore because it puts him in a strange position and I understand it is not fair to him to hear about how his parents suck. I wouldn't want to hear it, I just want to be defended more instead of staying silent so it can pass and there is no confrontation.
Fuck it.
I have three long days to go and I have to figure out more activities to do to get me out of the house.
You know I have to erase soon, so don't thin you are going crazy if this post is gone very shortly.
I have been fighting with E for two days. He knows I do not like his parents because they do not like me. I have tried with them. For eleven years I have tried for nothing and now I do not want to try anymore. I am done.
If I stay around my kids they think I am hovering and controlling, and if I leave them alone with the kids I am being snotty and anti-social. I can't win.
I realize now I will never win. I just want to exist.
They have made snotty comments to me and behind my back, telling E that they have "to walk on eggshells with me or they are scared they will never see their grand kids again". Bullshit.
They never see their grandchildren because they decided to move to Florida in a fit of early retirement and although we didn't have children yet, they did have a 3 & 4 year old grandchildren they left here in NJ. Woe is me.
If you feel guilty about leaving, well how is that my problem?
E doesn't want to hear it anymore because it puts him in a strange position and I understand it is not fair to him to hear about how his parents suck. I wouldn't want to hear it, I just want to be defended more instead of staying silent so it can pass and there is no confrontation.
Fuck it.
I have three long days to go and I have to figure out more activities to do to get me out of the house.
You know I have to erase soon, so don't thin you are going crazy if this post is gone very shortly.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Fun!
The thing that made me laugh out loud while I was driving around town by myself trying to convince myself not to drive off the road:
A man in a speedo, tanning on a old fashioned lounge chair in his driveway.
A man in a speedo, tanning on a old fashioned lounge chair in his driveway.
Friday, June 08, 2007
My Shoes Have Witnessed Quite a Bit of Crying
I am really sad today and not just because I have to entertain my in laws for a week. (that will be awesomeness for you though, because my god! the stories.)
A friend broke up with me and I feel terrible about it.
Guess where I went to cry about it? My bedroom closet!*
Good news: I am fully stocked up on ice cream. And booze.
*If you don't get this, see previous post.
A friend broke up with me and I feel terrible about it.
Guess where I went to cry about it? My bedroom closet!*
Good news: I am fully stocked up on ice cream. And booze.
*If you don't get this, see previous post.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Seriously, Send Help.
Hey! What's new?
Nothing?
Oh, really? Nothing new around here either, hey? Have I mentioned my in-laws are coming today?
No? Wow, that must have slipped my mind.
Yeah. The in-laws are coming, coming coming.
Wow, that still hasn't sunk in and they are arriving in about six hours. The greatest part is that they have to stay here the whole time because my sister in law is in the process of moving out of her house and has no place for them to sleep. Yay me!
When we first moved in here, I ordered two full beds to be delivered the day after we closed on the house, so that my in-laws had somewhere to sleep. They are for my kids, who will be transferring to them in a couple of weeks because they are way too tall for their toddler beds.
Anyway, my father in law is tall like my husband, and always complains that his feet hang off the bed and how hot it is upstairs and how he never sleeps well here.
Um. See ya. WTF?
Nobody asked for you to sleep here. Actually when they first announced they were coming, they said they were going to stay in a hotel so they could get a better sleep. Then they found out how much that would cost them and all of a sudden my new full size beds is good enough for them.
If they were actually nice to me and didn't talk behind my back and weren't too faced ("Oh Tuesday, the kids are so good you are doing such a great job with them" "what is wrong with her?") maybe I would offer up our room but no refuge for a whole week? I don't think so. I need to retreat into my closet and cry for E while he is at work.
Who wants to come over and play with me so I can get out of the house?
send help.
edit: The only thing that is keeping me from running away is the news that the Sex and the City movie is really happening. Yipee. Who wants to join me for cosmo drinking and Jimmy Choo shopping?
Nothing?
Oh, really? Nothing new around here either, hey? Have I mentioned my in-laws are coming today?
No? Wow, that must have slipped my mind.
Yeah. The in-laws are coming, coming coming.
Wow, that still hasn't sunk in and they are arriving in about six hours. The greatest part is that they have to stay here the whole time because my sister in law is in the process of moving out of her house and has no place for them to sleep. Yay me!
When we first moved in here, I ordered two full beds to be delivered the day after we closed on the house, so that my in-laws had somewhere to sleep. They are for my kids, who will be transferring to them in a couple of weeks because they are way too tall for their toddler beds.
Anyway, my father in law is tall like my husband, and always complains that his feet hang off the bed and how hot it is upstairs and how he never sleeps well here.
Um. See ya. WTF?
Nobody asked for you to sleep here. Actually when they first announced they were coming, they said they were going to stay in a hotel so they could get a better sleep. Then they found out how much that would cost them and all of a sudden my new full size beds is good enough for them.
If they were actually nice to me and didn't talk behind my back and weren't too faced ("Oh Tuesday, the kids are so good you are doing such a great job with them" "what is wrong with her?") maybe I would offer up our room but no refuge for a whole week? I don't think so. I need to retreat into my closet and cry for E while he is at work.
Who wants to come over and play with me so I can get out of the house?
send help.
edit: The only thing that is keeping me from running away is the news that the Sex and the City movie is really happening. Yipee. Who wants to join me for cosmo drinking and Jimmy Choo shopping?
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
School Lunch
During middle school I would bring my lunch every day except on Fridays when it was pizza day because really, who can resist pizza day? There was rarely anything that could sway me from my yummy lunch packed with love from my mom. Well, maybe tater tots could sway me.
There was one other reason I avoided the lunch line, a particular lunch lady that made my hair stand up. She was a typical lunch lady I guess, she was a large woman, older, gave you the feeling she didn't like kids, you know the type. The one thing that made her even more scary then the other lady's slinging peas was that this lunch lady had a skin disease.
I still do not know what disease she had, but she had bumps that covered her arms and hands. Bumps, people. Should a lunch lady in any capacity have arm bumps? Especially in middle school where everything is an exaggerated disaster? I think not.
This lunch lady would wheel the little freezer out after lunch had been served and sold ice cream. Kids love ice cream but not so much the bumpy armed lunch lady. Talk about dilemma!
Some kids, I remember, would pull their hand back when she went to give them change, so she took to pressing the coin in your hand with tremendous force, I assume for spite.
I guess she couldn't do anything about her condition and as we know now as adults, teasing hurts at any age.
Thinking back on middle school, I feel so sorry for that lunch lady. She was tortured and made fun of by children who avoided her line or suddenly had a ice cream change of heart after they saw her wheeling the cart out.
I wish I could have been a bigger person and take the change from her hand and make the point that she is a human being and deserved to be treated better then we treated her.
I also wish that she could have just worn some gloves.
Check out School Menu and its parental counterpart Family Everyday, two sites that work together with School Food Services Directors to provide and promote healthy eating and physical fitness for kids and their parents. [Hotlink School Menu -- www.schoolmenu.com and Family Everyday -- www.familyeveryday.com]
There was one other reason I avoided the lunch line, a particular lunch lady that made my hair stand up. She was a typical lunch lady I guess, she was a large woman, older, gave you the feeling she didn't like kids, you know the type. The one thing that made her even more scary then the other lady's slinging peas was that this lunch lady had a skin disease.
I still do not know what disease she had, but she had bumps that covered her arms and hands. Bumps, people. Should a lunch lady in any capacity have arm bumps? Especially in middle school where everything is an exaggerated disaster? I think not.
This lunch lady would wheel the little freezer out after lunch had been served and sold ice cream. Kids love ice cream but not so much the bumpy armed lunch lady. Talk about dilemma!
Some kids, I remember, would pull their hand back when she went to give them change, so she took to pressing the coin in your hand with tremendous force, I assume for spite.
I guess she couldn't do anything about her condition and as we know now as adults, teasing hurts at any age.
Thinking back on middle school, I feel so sorry for that lunch lady. She was tortured and made fun of by children who avoided her line or suddenly had a ice cream change of heart after they saw her wheeling the cart out.
I wish I could have been a bigger person and take the change from her hand and make the point that she is a human being and deserved to be treated better then we treated her.
I also wish that she could have just worn some gloves.
Check out School Menu and its parental counterpart Family Everyday, two sites that work together with School Food Services Directors to provide and promote healthy eating and physical fitness for kids and their parents. [Hotlink School Menu -- www.schoolmenu.com and Family Everyday -- www.familyeveryday.com]
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Product Whore
I am a sucker for a cute package. I am an ad executive's wet dream, I will buy anything if it is pink and cute or unique and unusual. Today I thought I would show you a couple of things that I love because they are great, but what got me to try them was the packaging and cool ideas.
First is Method. I heart method and not even because they once sent me a
t- shirt that said "method" on the front and was a size large but only fits my 4 year old daughter. I love them because they make great products that I feel good using around my children and family and their packaging and designs are amazing. I buy a lot of method products they are in my bathrooms, my cleaning cabinet and on my dresser.
The latest thign I have tried is the bloq lotions. The water flower scent is divine. The lotion is light and never feels greasy or like you are covered in lotion. Plus look at how cool that package is! Try something Method today, I promise you will not regret it.
The next love of my life is I love chicken poop. They have the best lip balm that I can never find. I purchased it on the awesome name alone, but the product rocks as much as the packaging. You know I need to buy a shirt too.
Fiji water. Put anything that should be in a cylindrical container and put it into a square one and I will buy it. This water is one of my favorites and it really does taste better, but again it could all be in my head.
What are your favorite packaging or products?
First is Method. I heart method and not even because they once sent me a
t- shirt that said "method" on the front and was a size large but only fits my 4 year old daughter. I love them because they make great products that I feel good using around my children and family and their packaging and designs are amazing. I buy a lot of method products they are in my bathrooms, my cleaning cabinet and on my dresser.
The latest thign I have tried is the bloq lotions. The water flower scent is divine. The lotion is light and never feels greasy or like you are covered in lotion. Plus look at how cool that package is! Try something Method today, I promise you will not regret it.
The next love of my life is I love chicken poop. They have the best lip balm that I can never find. I purchased it on the awesome name alone, but the product rocks as much as the packaging. You know I need to buy a shirt too.
Fiji water. Put anything that should be in a cylindrical container and put it into a square one and I will buy it. This water is one of my favorites and it really does taste better, but again it could all be in my head.
What are your favorite packaging or products?
Monday, June 04, 2007
Baseball
Things I was thinking (what I am always thinking) while watching the Yankee/Red Sox games this weekend:
Who has that much spit? Seriously, how do you produce that much saliva?
Their uniforms look so clean, does someone have to wash and press them for each game or do they get a new uniform for each game? I really wonder about that because a new uniform for each game is so wasteful.
If there was a rule that you cannot take 39 minutes between each attempt at hitting the ball maybe more girls would watch. You should not be allowed to step away from the plate and adjust your gloves or your hat or whatever, just swing the damn bat.
Many of these players look very dirty. Clean yourself up for god sake!
Gosh, I so wish I had a hot dog from Yankee stadium right now!
Who has that much spit? Seriously, how do you produce that much saliva?
Their uniforms look so clean, does someone have to wash and press them for each game or do they get a new uniform for each game? I really wonder about that because a new uniform for each game is so wasteful.
If there was a rule that you cannot take 39 minutes between each attempt at hitting the ball maybe more girls would watch. You should not be allowed to step away from the plate and adjust your gloves or your hat or whatever, just swing the damn bat.
Many of these players look very dirty. Clean yourself up for god sake!
Gosh, I so wish I had a hot dog from Yankee stadium right now!
Friday, June 01, 2007
NJ and Me, Perfect Together
I am glad you all approve of the brownies as a welcome to the neighborhood gesture. They are a much loved baked good. Who asked if there would be nuts in the brownies? How dare you, of course there will be nuts, but not too many.
This "welcoming to the neighborhood" part is new to me. Although we were always friendly with our neighbors growing up, people kept to themselves. I think it is great that there is more of a community here in southern New Jersey, it is almost like living in a different state. Especially because they worship at the alter of cheese steaks and call sprinkles "jimmies" WTH?
New Jersey is strange. We are a rough and diverse state. We have great restaurants, beaches, mountains, great down towns, many farms, lakes and are close to various major cities. We also have the highest property taxes, guidos, the highest crime city in the US, and many toll roads.
BUT, you push us to a corner and we will defend our state with everything we have. NJ is the little brother of the US. We can make fun of it and complain about it but if you do? Well, watch out.
I can tell a NJ driver from a NY driver or a driver from Kentucky. Oh and if you are from anywhere outside the NJ/NY/PA/CT area, I advise you to just stay in the right lane of any major highway and sit tight. Don't go to NY either, if you think NJ has aggresive drivers, you will be in for a rude awakening.
We do not take slow driving, keeping a blinker on for 76 miles or not keeping up with traffic lightly. We will beep at you, yell key word in your direction or maybe show you a finger or two. I have seen many an out of state driver shell shocked. You know what they say though, if you can't keep up stay the fuck out.
NJ has it faults. We know it, we complain and bicker and threaten to leave. No matter how much of a pain in the butt it is to me, it is still home.
This "welcoming to the neighborhood" part is new to me. Although we were always friendly with our neighbors growing up, people kept to themselves. I think it is great that there is more of a community here in southern New Jersey, it is almost like living in a different state. Especially because they worship at the alter of cheese steaks and call sprinkles "jimmies" WTH?
New Jersey is strange. We are a rough and diverse state. We have great restaurants, beaches, mountains, great down towns, many farms, lakes and are close to various major cities. We also have the highest property taxes, guidos, the highest crime city in the US, and many toll roads.
BUT, you push us to a corner and we will defend our state with everything we have. NJ is the little brother of the US. We can make fun of it and complain about it but if you do? Well, watch out.
I can tell a NJ driver from a NY driver or a driver from Kentucky. Oh and if you are from anywhere outside the NJ/NY/PA/CT area, I advise you to just stay in the right lane of any major highway and sit tight. Don't go to NY either, if you think NJ has aggresive drivers, you will be in for a rude awakening.
We do not take slow driving, keeping a blinker on for 76 miles or not keeping up with traffic lightly. We will beep at you, yell key word in your direction or maybe show you a finger or two. I have seen many an out of state driver shell shocked. You know what they say though, if you can't keep up stay the fuck out.
NJ has it faults. We know it, we complain and bicker and threaten to leave. No matter how much of a pain in the butt it is to me, it is still home.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sleep, Glorious Sleep
I have not slept in days. Last night E stirred and got up to go to the bathroom, I told him I don't think I had been asleep yet. Then I glanced at the clock and it was after 3am.
What is that about? I am trying not to take my sleep medications, because seriously it was getting out of hand there for awhile, but I think I will take a nice, easy Tylenol pm tonight. I just can't stand not to sleep for days on end.
I have new neighbors! Of course it couldn't be a young couple with young kids, but it is nice to have new people on our street. I have to bake something and bring it over to welcome them. That is not typical for where I am from, and I was shocked when we moved in and at least four people came over with baked goods and introduced themselves.
I think I will make brownies.
Nothing says "welcome" better then warm, homemade brownies and maybe a lawn tip or two.
This neighborhood takes its lawn care seriously.
Don't fuck with our grass.
What is that about? I am trying not to take my sleep medications, because seriously it was getting out of hand there for awhile, but I think I will take a nice, easy Tylenol pm tonight. I just can't stand not to sleep for days on end.
I have new neighbors! Of course it couldn't be a young couple with young kids, but it is nice to have new people on our street. I have to bake something and bring it over to welcome them. That is not typical for where I am from, and I was shocked when we moved in and at least four people came over with baked goods and introduced themselves.
I think I will make brownies.
Nothing says "welcome" better then warm, homemade brownies and maybe a lawn tip or two.
This neighborhood takes its lawn care seriously.
Don't fuck with our grass.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
End of School
My children finish their first year of preschool tomorrow and I have mixed feelings about it. They had a great year, received all threes (the highest mark) on their end of the year evaluation except a 2 for my son "cuts a straight line with scissors". I am not too worried about it.
They love the school and the kids but E and I do not. They had three teachers since September, two different "directors" and "education director". The school is a lot of money and is safe and clean and nice but I am not thrilled with their teacher who always seems stressed. I know tuition will go up in the fall also.
We looked at a christian school that we loved until we found out it is a born again christian school and well, we were debating lying to them about our church affiliation so that should explain to you how religious we are.
Now I am not stressed about finding a school for them in the fall, if I find one, great, if I do not then I will home school them for preschool. I will have enough money from not sending them to school to do more activities like swimming, dance or gym. They really are so smart as it is, they know much more then E or I did at that age and they are physically and socially where they should be also.
Maybe last year I would have been freaking out looking for school, making sure they got in etc. This year I am trying not to sweat the small stuff and this is small. I have other things to focus on with my life. I am trying to stay more positive, be more "in the moment".
Maybe I am growing up after all.
They love the school and the kids but E and I do not. They had three teachers since September, two different "directors" and "education director". The school is a lot of money and is safe and clean and nice but I am not thrilled with their teacher who always seems stressed. I know tuition will go up in the fall also.
We looked at a christian school that we loved until we found out it is a born again christian school and well, we were debating lying to them about our church affiliation so that should explain to you how religious we are.
Now I am not stressed about finding a school for them in the fall, if I find one, great, if I do not then I will home school them for preschool. I will have enough money from not sending them to school to do more activities like swimming, dance or gym. They really are so smart as it is, they know much more then E or I did at that age and they are physically and socially where they should be also.
Maybe last year I would have been freaking out looking for school, making sure they got in etc. This year I am trying not to sweat the small stuff and this is small. I have other things to focus on with my life. I am trying to stay more positive, be more "in the moment".
Maybe I am growing up after all.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Thank Goodness for Three Day Weekends!
The door is hung!
Don't you hear the angels singing?! It is being painted as I type this.
I can't wait to shower and pee in privacy, such luxuries.
Come enter my contest!
Don't you hear the angels singing?! It is being painted as I type this.
I can't wait to shower and pee in privacy, such luxuries.
Come enter my contest!
Friday, May 25, 2007
The New Plan
Memorial Day weekend huh? We have no plans, as usual, well I will go to my Aunt's house on Sunday for some swimming and fun but besides that we will do nothing exciting this weekend. Such a change from my every day life!
My in-laws are coming in two weeks and I am stressing about all the cleaning and stuff I want to do around the house before they get here. I would love a bathroom door to be hung and in working condition but since I posted about it, just one more hinge has been hung.
I really am going to have to hang Greg Brady beads up aren't I?
I am not going to worry about my in-laws visit this time because I have a plan. Get out of the house as much as I can by going to the gym! Not only will it get my ass to the gym, but maybe I will pretend I am a super freak workout addict and go long and often. Maybe even go to Barnes & Noble afterwards to sit around and look at all the books I want to read.
What a great plan. They would rather be alone with my kids anyway so they can feed them all junk.
Oh and I told my husband to take off some days from work while they are here, I am done entertaining them alone all day!
My in-laws are coming in two weeks and I am stressing about all the cleaning and stuff I want to do around the house before they get here. I would love a bathroom door to be hung and in working condition but since I posted about it, just one more hinge has been hung.
I really am going to have to hang Greg Brady beads up aren't I?
I am not going to worry about my in-laws visit this time because I have a plan. Get out of the house as much as I can by going to the gym! Not only will it get my ass to the gym, but maybe I will pretend I am a super freak workout addict and go long and often. Maybe even go to Barnes & Noble afterwards to sit around and look at all the books I want to read.
What a great plan. They would rather be alone with my kids anyway so they can feed them all junk.
Oh and I told my husband to take off some days from work while they are here, I am done entertaining them alone all day!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Summer Time
My computer is back in action. It took them long enough!
Also my "check engine" light on my car is gone. So very mysterious and I take it as a sign of better things to come. I hope it is at least.
I am in TV withdrawals today. Lost is over now, never to return for 8 months. Summer TV is depressing anyway, but what else do people do at night, after the kids are in bed? Really?
I would like to knit more and I always read a lot in the summer, because what do you do when you are outside with the kids playing? Really, I would rather not collect worms. I would like to buy a sewing machine and do something creative this summer.
I would love to be creative but my boring life gets in the way.
Oh gosh, this post really sucks. Sorry.
Also my "check engine" light on my car is gone. So very mysterious and I take it as a sign of better things to come. I hope it is at least.
I am in TV withdrawals today. Lost is over now, never to return for 8 months. Summer TV is depressing anyway, but what else do people do at night, after the kids are in bed? Really?
I would like to knit more and I always read a lot in the summer, because what do you do when you are outside with the kids playing? Really, I would rather not collect worms. I would like to buy a sewing machine and do something creative this summer.
I would love to be creative but my boring life gets in the way.
Oh gosh, this post really sucks. Sorry.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Period
I am not a fan of my period. I hate it, I think it is bothersome and some accidents I have had as a teen has made me so paranoid during my period that I refuse to wear even somewhat light colored clothing.
BUT, although I loath my period, I understand its purpose and the fact that maybe it does even more benefit for our bodies that we don't even realize. That is why when the FDA approved the new birth contol pill, Lybrel that eliminates your period, I wonder if the world has gone mad.
Believe me I understand the pharmaceutical industry, it pays my bills, it feeds my kids and allows us to live in a house. I know it is a business. We don't have to buy into it fully though.
Let us remember that big pharma has never cured any chronic diseases. Sure they have drugs to make your life easier, or maybe even help some people live longer but if you were cured they would make a little money off of the drugs, if you have to live every day taking drugs like asthma or diabetes medications, they make a lot of money over your lifetime.
It is unnatural to eliminate your period. It is not healthy. It happens every month for a reason, and maybe some of the problems with infertility women face are from drugs like this one. I just want everyone to stay informed, watch the movie Sicko coming out. Question your doctor, read the package inserts that come with your drugs.
Eat healthy, take a walk and educate yourself.
Continue to complain about your period every month, like me.
end rant.
BUT, although I loath my period, I understand its purpose and the fact that maybe it does even more benefit for our bodies that we don't even realize. That is why when the FDA approved the new birth contol pill, Lybrel that eliminates your period, I wonder if the world has gone mad.
Believe me I understand the pharmaceutical industry, it pays my bills, it feeds my kids and allows us to live in a house. I know it is a business. We don't have to buy into it fully though.
Let us remember that big pharma has never cured any chronic diseases. Sure they have drugs to make your life easier, or maybe even help some people live longer but if you were cured they would make a little money off of the drugs, if you have to live every day taking drugs like asthma or diabetes medications, they make a lot of money over your lifetime.
It is unnatural to eliminate your period. It is not healthy. It happens every month for a reason, and maybe some of the problems with infertility women face are from drugs like this one. I just want everyone to stay informed, watch the movie Sicko coming out. Question your doctor, read the package inserts that come with your drugs.
Eat healthy, take a walk and educate yourself.
Continue to complain about your period every month, like me.
end rant.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
I Gotta Get a Dell
Yeah.
Life has been, very interesting to say the least. On Friday night my computer died. The POS is only 2.5 years old but it died. I had to drag its carcass to the computer ER only to learn it wasn't the power source that was broken, of course not because that would have only cost $79. It had to be the mother board with cost me three times that.
I love to have a little extra money only to have it fly out of my pocket a moment later.
So I have been MIA on the Internets and I am in official withdrawals. E's computer hates AOL and gmail for some reason because it never lets me check my accounts. Not having a computer has been good for my house because I have been organizing and cleaning but b a d for my attitude. Let's face it, it is my one connection to the outside world and I love to know my weather, what is going on in my favorite blogger's lives and take polls where I give Bush the lowest possible rating all in 4 minutes.
So, how are you? Cheer me up, so I don't go ballistic on these computer geeks if they don't have my baby back to me in two hours!
Life has been, very interesting to say the least. On Friday night my computer died. The POS is only 2.5 years old but it died. I had to drag its carcass to the computer ER only to learn it wasn't the power source that was broken, of course not because that would have only cost $79. It had to be the mother board with cost me three times that.
I love to have a little extra money only to have it fly out of my pocket a moment later.
So I have been MIA on the Internets and I am in official withdrawals. E's computer hates AOL and gmail for some reason because it never lets me check my accounts. Not having a computer has been good for my house because I have been organizing and cleaning but b a d for my attitude. Let's face it, it is my one connection to the outside world and I love to know my weather, what is going on in my favorite blogger's lives and take polls where I give Bush the lowest possible rating all in 4 minutes.
So, how are you? Cheer me up, so I don't go ballistic on these computer geeks if they don't have my baby back to me in two hours!
Friday, May 18, 2007
Color Me Happy
I heart my new colorist who was recommended to me by my hair stylist whom I heart more then anyone and not just because she reminds me of Phoebe* in Friends, in a good way.
This colorist has no personality, and spoke no more then 5 words to me the entire hour I was in her chair. My color is good, and I like it but I am not sure it is exactly how I want it or maybe I was just used to the darker hair I had for the winter, plus you guys all liked it. So then why do I like her? Because it was the cheapest color I have had in years. Double process $85.00 baby!
I was giddy with happiness, I was never so happy to pay a bill in the salon before. Hell even my eye brow wax cost $25 or something like that.
I heart this coloring bitch like nothing before.
I needed that because I am still depressed about my ring. Home owners will cover it if it is lost or stolen, but not damaged. Did I also mention the "check engine" light came on in my car? What is that about?
* Little known Tuesday fact, I have a cat I named Phoebe, after Catcher in the Rye not the show.
This colorist has no personality, and spoke no more then 5 words to me the entire hour I was in her chair. My color is good, and I like it but I am not sure it is exactly how I want it or maybe I was just used to the darker hair I had for the winter, plus you guys all liked it. So then why do I like her? Because it was the cheapest color I have had in years. Double process $85.00 baby!
I was giddy with happiness, I was never so happy to pay a bill in the salon before. Hell even my eye brow wax cost $25 or something like that.
I heart this coloring bitch like nothing before.
I needed that because I am still depressed about my ring. Home owners will cover it if it is lost or stolen, but not damaged. Did I also mention the "check engine" light came on in my car? What is that about?
* Little known Tuesday fact, I have a cat I named Phoebe, after Catcher in the Rye not the show.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
When It Rains, It Really Pours
Here is a terrible (what the frick is wrong with you camera? Focus!) picture of my wedding band. Notice something missing?
Yeah, that would be one of the diamonds. I noticed a diamond was missing yesterday afternoon, a day of course, that was not spent sitting home lazy style but running around to various stores and shopping. I also cleaned a bathroom, did loads of laundry, cleaned out drawers and such.
I am sick about it. I cried. I love that ring. I searched the house, my kids searched, my husband searched, no luck. We bought it at a jewelry store back home so I will have to wait until I go back home to have it replaced and fixed. For now it is just me and my bare, lonely hands.
Also, this picture is so crappy and does no justice to how perfect and sparkly my ring is. I looked at my hand and that ring a million times every day since I put it on 6.5 years ago. I feel so naked without it, it is so strange and foreign to me to be ring-less.
That is me, ring-less in NJ.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Updates
Door Watch 2007: The door is still not functional. As for some of your suggestions of a beaded fringe door, Although I love it the Greg Brady look, I do need a bit more privacy then that would allow.
Lost: I can't wait for tonight. It has been killing me not to read spoilers of what is going to happen, but one of my best friends read it and that is good enough for me. For now. I like knowing she has all the knowledge about the show and confirms it is going to be amazing.
Tests: all my blood work came back fine, thank you for caring. My thyroid is still rocking and rolling like we never removed a part of it. Sometimes I just love my body.
Searches: people who found me were recently searching for: girl pooping on the toilet, molester dentist, massage accidentally touched vagina, booger king and girl of sexy.
At least they got the last one right.
Highlight disaster 06: After my last highlights in December ( I am so overdue!) came out beautiful, but not how I wanted it, I kept it because you all gave me such nice compliments. Oh yeah, and I hate confrontation so I couldn't complain to the salon. Enjoy the following conversation:
L: Daddy what color hair do you have
E: brown just like yours
R: I have brown hair too!
E: No, R, you have blond hair
R: And mommy what color hair do you have? Grey?
Me: Hello salon? I need an appointment asap.
Lost: I can't wait for tonight. It has been killing me not to read spoilers of what is going to happen, but one of my best friends read it and that is good enough for me. For now. I like knowing she has all the knowledge about the show and confirms it is going to be amazing.
Tests: all my blood work came back fine, thank you for caring. My thyroid is still rocking and rolling like we never removed a part of it. Sometimes I just love my body.
Searches: people who found me were recently searching for: girl pooping on the toilet, molester dentist, massage accidentally touched vagina, booger king and girl of sexy.
At least they got the last one right.
Highlight disaster 06: After my last highlights in December ( I am so overdue!) came out beautiful, but not how I wanted it, I kept it because you all gave me such nice compliments. Oh yeah, and I hate confrontation so I couldn't complain to the salon. Enjoy the following conversation:
L: Daddy what color hair do you have
E: brown just like yours
R: I have brown hair too!
E: No, R, you have blond hair
R: And mommy what color hair do you have? Grey?
Me: Hello salon? I need an appointment asap.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I am Taking Over the Project
See this door? Nothing particularly out of the ordinary, it is a door like just like the ones you use every day. The only thing wrong with this door is, it doesn't work.
It is not attached to the frame. It is a door that leans up against the wall and is not functional what so ever. At this point, it is purely decorative, and I use that term loosely.
This door leads to my bathroom, the one only I use and the only way to get away from little people who demand things all day. The old door was the only door that was not replaced by the former owners which is odd, but we thought nothing of it, after all how hard could it be to replace a door? A little bathroom door!
No prob.
It only took almost three years to purchase a new door, and then within minutes of the new door being brought into our home, the old door was off. Progress! Then it got late and the project had to be left for another day. The next opportunity E had to install the new door, he realized the frame was slightly warped or off and we would have to shave the frame down ever so slightly to get the new door in.
You know where I am going with this story, right?
That was over four weeks ago.
Not only is it so great to get out of the shower into a drafty room, but I love that the one place I have to go that is all mine, and I can pee by myself without people asking what that pad is on the counter or if I am pooping, is lost.
No privacy. Pee with the door just leaning against the wall, mocking me.
Mocking me!
Now I know what I should have asked for mother's day, a door to be properly hung on hinges and a knob that has a lock on it. A big ole lock because once it is installed, I won't come out for days. I will pluck, shower, primp and maybe even poop in sweet, sweet privacy.
(also? don't you paint a door, say in the garage, before you hang it as to not make a mess with paint all over the house? Yeah, I thought so.)
Monday, May 14, 2007
Moms
Why do I continue to create expectations when I am always disappointed? Clearly I am not learning something from these experiences. I just keep setting myself up for disaster.
I am not only taking about mother's day which was OK, but busy. My dreams of having no stress and let someone else take care of the kids were dashed when someone forgot they were working on Sunday and, of course, couldn't find anyone to work for them that day. So I spent the day with my lovely children and my two nephews, drove about 180 miles, went to a family party, and just generally did what I always do.
Now, I can't complain about my husband. Generally E is thoughtful and romantic. He has never forgotten a birthday, anniversary or any other holiday. He does have the "last minute syndrome" where he does not put in as much thought into a gift as I would like, but hey, he is a guy.
He also always helps around the house, he takes out garbage, changes the cat litter, bathes the kids, shovels the snow and so on. So I can't complain that I do everything around here, I don't. I am aware of that.
I just wanted a day off from the kids, and I love them, I truly do but being with them every single day since they emerged from my body, is draining.
To say the least.
Lets just say I am one tired mom. Although my husband says he knows how hard it is and how draining it all can be, it still can't really know.
Only other moms know, and it is just another reason to become a lesbian.
I am not only taking about mother's day which was OK, but busy. My dreams of having no stress and let someone else take care of the kids were dashed when someone forgot they were working on Sunday and, of course, couldn't find anyone to work for them that day. So I spent the day with my lovely children and my two nephews, drove about 180 miles, went to a family party, and just generally did what I always do.
Now, I can't complain about my husband. Generally E is thoughtful and romantic. He has never forgotten a birthday, anniversary or any other holiday. He does have the "last minute syndrome" where he does not put in as much thought into a gift as I would like, but hey, he is a guy.
He also always helps around the house, he takes out garbage, changes the cat litter, bathes the kids, shovels the snow and so on. So I can't complain that I do everything around here, I don't. I am aware of that.
I just wanted a day off from the kids, and I love them, I truly do but being with them every single day since they emerged from my body, is draining.
To say the least.
Lets just say I am one tired mom. Although my husband says he knows how hard it is and how draining it all can be, it still can't really know.
Only other moms know, and it is just another reason to become a lesbian.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Mother
Motherhood is a strange thing, to have your heart walking outside your body, to care for a small person whom you have never met before but the instant you see them you know you would die for them. Give up your entire life so they will no longer feel pain, you would suffer in their place in an instant, it would be a decision that would need no thought.
My own mother is a wonderful mother. She was my friend and a friend to my friends, she was a nurse and a teacher and a protector. We had rough patches, typical patches where I thought she wasn't on my side, that she could never understand what I was going through, that I had lost my best friend.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
By standing by me, by loving me no matter what I did or said, that was what told me she still was in my corner. Behind me no matter what.
She is not a perfect mother and I am not a perfect daughter. Sometimes I expected her to be perfect and I was disappointed when I could see through the cracks in her armour. It was my own inexperience with life that made me think she could be perfect, even when I reached an age old enough to know "perfection" was unattainable.
My children amaze me. I was amazed I had twins and I carried their huge, flawless bodies to term, I am constantly amazed how smart they are and how absolutely sweet they can be. I am amazed at how my son looks just like his father and my daughter like me.
It is like being given another chance at life, a do over. Not to live vicariously through my children but to fix the flaws I see in myself to become a better parent.
To be the mother they deserve. To be the person I want to be.
To let my children know I am not perfect and I wish I could be for them, but I do not expect perfection in them either. People have faults, they make mistakes, they stumble. And their mothers will always be there to pick them up, dust them off and let them know it is OK.
It will always be OK.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and especially mine.
My own mother is a wonderful mother. She was my friend and a friend to my friends, she was a nurse and a teacher and a protector. We had rough patches, typical patches where I thought she wasn't on my side, that she could never understand what I was going through, that I had lost my best friend.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
By standing by me, by loving me no matter what I did or said, that was what told me she still was in my corner. Behind me no matter what.
She is not a perfect mother and I am not a perfect daughter. Sometimes I expected her to be perfect and I was disappointed when I could see through the cracks in her armour. It was my own inexperience with life that made me think she could be perfect, even when I reached an age old enough to know "perfection" was unattainable.
My children amaze me. I was amazed I had twins and I carried their huge, flawless bodies to term, I am constantly amazed how smart they are and how absolutely sweet they can be. I am amazed at how my son looks just like his father and my daughter like me.
It is like being given another chance at life, a do over. Not to live vicariously through my children but to fix the flaws I see in myself to become a better parent.
To be the mother they deserve. To be the person I want to be.
To let my children know I am not perfect and I wish I could be for them, but I do not expect perfection in them either. People have faults, they make mistakes, they stumble. And their mothers will always be there to pick them up, dust them off and let them know it is OK.
It will always be OK.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and especially mine.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Chick Fil A is the Food of the Gods
Just a couple of days ago I was talking about how I see all of these commercials for restaurants that are nowhere near me, and some of you were talking about Red Robin restaurant. I have never heard of this place until you guys enlightened me, but guess what commercial I saw last night? That is right, red Robin, whose closest location is over 30 miles away.
I am not a fast food eater, but every once in awhile a cheeseburger is just so good from McDonalds or Wendy's. I have not eaten any fast food this year except for chick fil a, and they are so good I refuse to consider that fast food.
It is not!
E came home with a nutritional guide to fast food restaurants last week. I played the game I play where I dream of what I would eat if I had the metabolism of my husband. I looked up some of my favorite fast food orders.
It was not good.
A taco bell taco supreme? 220 calories and 14 grams of fat. IN ONE. E eats like 6 of those in one sitting plus a burrito.
A McGriddle from McDonalds? 450 calories and 21 grams of fat.
A blimbie best sandwich? 440 calories and 15 grams of fat
Me: "E this is a disgusting book and I am disgusted with the gross food I have consumed in these fast food places in the past"
E: " I know. (pause) Do you want McDonalds for dinner?"
Me: "Stop it."
E: "friiiiieeesss???"
Me: "you know what the sick part is? This knowledge has not put me off to any of this food, I would still eat it."
E: "look up chick fil a, I could eat that tonight"
Me: " I will tell you this one more time, chick fil a is NOT a fast food restaurant. It is more then that and I refuse to look it up."
E: "we are sick"
Me: " yeah" "where is the frickin ice cream man?"
I am not a fast food eater, but every once in awhile a cheeseburger is just so good from McDonalds or Wendy's. I have not eaten any fast food this year except for chick fil a, and they are so good I refuse to consider that fast food.
It is not!
E came home with a nutritional guide to fast food restaurants last week. I played the game I play where I dream of what I would eat if I had the metabolism of my husband. I looked up some of my favorite fast food orders.
It was not good.
A taco bell taco supreme? 220 calories and 14 grams of fat. IN ONE. E eats like 6 of those in one sitting plus a burrito.
A McGriddle from McDonalds? 450 calories and 21 grams of fat.
A blimbie best sandwich? 440 calories and 15 grams of fat
Me: "E this is a disgusting book and I am disgusted with the gross food I have consumed in these fast food places in the past"
E: " I know. (pause) Do you want McDonalds for dinner?"
Me: "Stop it."
E: "friiiiieeesss???"
Me: "you know what the sick part is? This knowledge has not put me off to any of this food, I would still eat it."
E: "look up chick fil a, I could eat that tonight"
Me: " I will tell you this one more time, chick fil a is NOT a fast food restaurant. It is more then that and I refuse to look it up."
E: "we are sick"
Me: " yeah" "where is the frickin ice cream man?"
Thursday, May 10, 2007
A Whole Lot of Nothing
My head is still reeling from Lost last night. What the hell?
I feel like my head is spinning today, you know those days, where there is no organization in your head? My sister is having knee/ankle surgery today and I will be watching her two boys again this weekend. I love them but it is a little hard because my car does not fit three car seats and one booster seat, so we are stuck in the house for the majority of the weekend because E has to work. Bummer.
Wanna check out an interview I did? You get to see a rare thing, a picture of me!
How about the new site I am writing for? I am the hardest working blogger you know.
Not really, I know.
Are you tired of these links yet? No? OK, well I am running a contest on my other site for a free pro membership to greetingflix.com. Go and enter to win one of five memberships.
Excuse my shameless plugs, mamas got to pay for preschool!
I feel like my head is spinning today, you know those days, where there is no organization in your head? My sister is having knee/ankle surgery today and I will be watching her two boys again this weekend. I love them but it is a little hard because my car does not fit three car seats and one booster seat, so we are stuck in the house for the majority of the weekend because E has to work. Bummer.
Wanna check out an interview I did? You get to see a rare thing, a picture of me!
How about the new site I am writing for? I am the hardest working blogger you know.
Not really, I know.
Are you tired of these links yet? No? OK, well I am running a contest on my other site for a free pro membership to greetingflix.com. Go and enter to win one of five memberships.
Excuse my shameless plugs, mamas got to pay for preschool!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Restaurant Love
I am trying to lose weight. Not an easy task I know, especially because I am too lazy to go to the gym. Laziness when you are trying to lose weight is not the best recipe for skinniness.
So I have been drinking all this water in order to curb my craving for little scraps here and there during the day. I drink 50 oz of water a day, so I feel like I am nine months pregnant because all I do is pee.
I love to watch the food network or all the fast food commercials and fantasize about what I want to eat, this is not fun to do with E because if I say I am in the mood for something even if it is 10pm he would go and get it for me. I have to keep reminding him it is a game I play and if I indulged in all my food wants I would be the size of this house.
Lately though, I have been noticing so many commercials for restaurants that are not even around where I live. Like Sonic for example, I have seen commercials for them for four years but have never seen one here in person. Why are they advertising here then?
Last week I noticed a new one for the Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant. I would love to dip things into melted cheese or chocolate, but there are no restaurants around here, the closest one is in Atlantic City, which is not very close.
The fun of wanting certain food items even if I have no intention of eating them is that I could get it if I wanted to.
These commercials are ruining my food fantasies.
So I have been drinking all this water in order to curb my craving for little scraps here and there during the day. I drink 50 oz of water a day, so I feel like I am nine months pregnant because all I do is pee.
I love to watch the food network or all the fast food commercials and fantasize about what I want to eat, this is not fun to do with E because if I say I am in the mood for something even if it is 10pm he would go and get it for me. I have to keep reminding him it is a game I play and if I indulged in all my food wants I would be the size of this house.
Lately though, I have been noticing so many commercials for restaurants that are not even around where I live. Like Sonic for example, I have seen commercials for them for four years but have never seen one here in person. Why are they advertising here then?
Last week I noticed a new one for the Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant. I would love to dip things into melted cheese or chocolate, but there are no restaurants around here, the closest one is in Atlantic City, which is not very close.
The fun of wanting certain food items even if I have no intention of eating them is that I could get it if I wanted to.
These commercials are ruining my food fantasies.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Music for Everyone!
What do you think of children's music? I interviewed Dan Zanes this morning and you can read about it here.
I have never interviewed anyone besides for a job. I was nervous and I did fumble a bit but he was so nice and kind, he made me comfortable.
I have to think of something to do with my kids this summer. Even though they are only in school two days a week, they need more interaction with kids their age and need to be out of my hair. I doubt a 30 minute swim lesson each week will be enough. I have got to find something for them to do, I am not going through another long, boring, hot summer.
What do you do with your kids in the summer?
I have never interviewed anyone besides for a job. I was nervous and I did fumble a bit but he was so nice and kind, he made me comfortable.
I have to think of something to do with my kids this summer. Even though they are only in school two days a week, they need more interaction with kids their age and need to be out of my hair. I doubt a 30 minute swim lesson each week will be enough. I have got to find something for them to do, I am not going through another long, boring, hot summer.
What do you do with your kids in the summer?
Monday, May 07, 2007
Being Mom
Last night in bed E told me what a great Mom I was. I want to believe it, but my struggles with being a mother, a mother to twins, doesn't let me believe that for one second.
Motherhood is hard, everyone knows that. Being with my children 24/7 every day for over four years, wears on you. I would like a break, I deserve one, I would love to go on vacation with just my husband, but we can't afford it. Maybe when my in-laws visit next month we will go to Atlantic City for two days and a night or something.
I struggle with the loneliness, boredom, monotony, and sometimes kids who will not stop yelling or fighting with each other.
AND if I ever find the kid at their preschool who taught my kids how to tattle, I will have to hurt him/her. All they do is tattle all of a sudden and sometimes after I hear "She hit me!" for the 786 time, I just tell him to hit her back, because I... just...... can't...... anymore.
It is not something every other mom doesn't feel. We are all trying to keep our heads above water.
It is OK that I don't think I am a good mom, it makes me try harder. Each night when I sneak into their room to watch them sleep, it makes me want to do better the next day.
I guess that is all you can do.
Motherhood is hard, everyone knows that. Being with my children 24/7 every day for over four years, wears on you. I would like a break, I deserve one, I would love to go on vacation with just my husband, but we can't afford it. Maybe when my in-laws visit next month we will go to Atlantic City for two days and a night or something.
I struggle with the loneliness, boredom, monotony, and sometimes kids who will not stop yelling or fighting with each other.
AND if I ever find the kid at their preschool who taught my kids how to tattle, I will have to hurt him/her. All they do is tattle all of a sudden and sometimes after I hear "She hit me!" for the 786 time, I just tell him to hit her back, because I... just...... can't...... anymore.
It is not something every other mom doesn't feel. We are all trying to keep our heads above water.
It is OK that I don't think I am a good mom, it makes me try harder. Each night when I sneak into their room to watch them sleep, it makes me want to do better the next day.
I guess that is all you can do.
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