Bite Me in the Ass

I thought you were supposed to teach your children things. I thought you were supposed to make them aware of their environment, broaden their horizons, challenge them every day.
Well I did just that, not my 23 month old babies are demanding things from me and yelling. They tell me exactly what they want for lunch and if I do not have it in the house, watch out. The screaming.........My god the screaming. First thing in the morning no less.

Plus if you ask me for the last "nana" you damn well better be prepared to eat it. All of it. Or I will let it turn brown & feed it to you for lunch. Bananas don't just grow on trees.
Oh wait.

I feel guilty

I am currently talking my toddlers out of the "cow song" because I can't sing Old Mac Donald one more friggin time.
I am actually begging them to let me sing the teletubbies theme instead. I think I need a break from this motherhood thing.

Resolutions

My New Years resolutions for 2004:

Not to qualify doughnuts with jelly filling as a daily fruit requirement for the day

exercise more and not to count running upstairs for more diapers and wrangling two babies to change their diapers as exercise, although I am winding afterwards.

Not to make up alternative lyrics for the theme song of Dora peppered with bad words. For my own amusement only.

Not be such a hermit and socialize with my neighbors more.

Watch more porn

Read more. Not the usual reading materials that have headlines like : 15 easy meals in 15 minutes or How to toilet train your child.

Stop lying*

Try not to strangle everyone at my Insurance company

See a movie considering I haven't been to a movie theater in at least 2.5 years.

Have more fun with life




* that is a lie.

Last Post of 2004

Well, it has been a crazy year, one that I am glad is behind me. I wish I would wake up tomorrow and it will all have been a dream 2004, didn't exist ala J.R.. But I know that will not happen. I do hope I wake up tomorrow with renewed strength, happiness and vigor for life.

I did have the year peppered with some good things, the health of my babies, the purchasing of a new beautiful house, the strength of a good marriage, the love of my family and even the new friends I made on here.

I hope 2005 is a good one for you guys, thanks for stopping by my tiny place on the web and listening (and sometimes caring) about what I say.
Be safe tonight!

Good News

I am going to be an Aunt again! My sister is pregnant with her second baby and is due June 30. We are very excited and good news for the baby, I am a great Aunt. It doesn't get better then this Aunt I will tell you.

This news makes me feel positive about 2005, new life and a new start.

B O R I N G

Everything is so boring the week after Christmas. No new TV shows, friends are all away & even the internet is boring.
I think I have a bit of the "after Christmas blues"
I am bored!

True Story

Someone found this blog by searching for "semen slippers"
Gross and gross.

Christmas

All in all it was a good Christmas, the babies had a great time and loved all of their gifts. They are completely enthralled in their new kitchen, baby stroller, baby shopping cart and Dora doll. Very sweet. If you asked them what they got from Santa they will say "presents!".
Having the kids made Christmas easier for me. Although it was sad & much too quiet without my Dad my children filled the hole in my heart a bit.

My Christmas was good, I got a lot of clothes, not enough white socks though. You know you are old when you ask for and get white socks. Sad. Although I had told E to get me isotoner slippers (like the ones someone suggested in Nordstrom) or the great slippers from Anthropology, he got me big fat thick slippers which he got me last year & I still have. Why the same ones? Why not the ones I asked for? Why the opposite of what I asked for? I was going to return them but he ripped them open and asked me to try them on. I didn't have the heart to tell him.

I want to thank everyone who posted or emailed me about my pity post about my Dad. It means a lot to me and I really want to Thank you. I will have good days & bad and I am glad you guys don't start throwing fruit and telling me to quit whining.

Christmas

When I have more time to post I will write a more detailed Christmas post. We did have a good time, although quiet without my Dad. The babies loved Christmas and loved all of their gifts. It was very sweet and reliving Christmas through your children's eyes is better then when you were a child.
E loved the drill, thanks guys!

Thank you to all the people who wrote nice posts & emails about my Dad. It means a lot to me, and I appreciated all of the kind words.

Merry Christmas!

Have a great holiday and everyone be warm, happy & safe.

Feeling Sorry for Myself

Go ahead and skip this one, I am just going to rant & rave and give myself a pity party. I can and will though, because this is my blog, but I don't want to bring anyone down because this is a great time of year where you should be happy & jolly and I am not. I don't know if I ever will be.

I am sad. I miss my Father and I cannot do anything about it. I am pissed because he was a great, sweet man who never had a harsh word for anyone, unlike his oldest daughter. Why the fuck would a great man like that be taken away from his 4 children and 3 grandchildren at the age of 53? Why the fuck are their rapist, murders, abusers living a full long life and my father is under the cold dark Earth? It makes no sense and I am pissed.
I remember last year on Christmas eve, it was the first Christmas for my babies, and I was slightly overwhelmed. The knowledge that my Father was sick and it may be the last Christmas Eve with him made me sick to my stomach. If you asked me what my favorite memory of my life was I would have always told you Christmas Eve. My Father made it magical and special. To have to face the holiday this year without him is unbearable. I don't know how I am going to get through it. I wish I could hide under the covers only to emerge on January 2, 2005. That way I would be somewhat happy that 2004 was over, because it was the worst year of my entire life.
I am pissed that my siblings may not ever remember Christmas with my Father, and that my children and nephew never will. To them he will only be a face in a picture.
I know God knew I could never bear this burden of being without my Dad so he gave me my children, two at a time, because my burden would be so great. If I didn't have them I probably would have killed myself for the thought of living a long life without my Dad did not compute with me. I could not fathom it.
I still can't.

This Christmas I will be grateful for my babies and my husband who stuck with me even when I actually did hide under the covers. I will try to be strong for my family who misses him as much as I do. I will love them and tell them so, because I know how precious and fast moving time really is.

Sooo Wrong

It is now officially 4:36 and I am awake. There is something wrong with this picture. I can't turn my head off. I jsut keep worrying about money and thinking about all the things I have to do tomorrow, excuse me, today.

Commercials That Make me Want to Kick My TV Screen In

I am attacked each day with these commercials this time of year, that make me want to spork my own eyes out. They are in no particular order:

The 1987 commercial, that sucked then, that they keep playing at Christmas time like it is some kind of American tradition or some shit. The one with the feathered hair boy who sneaks home for Christmas and then he and his sister make shitty coffee for his parents to surprise them. Enough already with this commercial.

Any luxury car commercial where the gift is the over priced car sitting in the driveway with a huge bow on it. 1% of the population can afford to give a $65k car for Christmas and I don't think they need a commercial to remind them that a car may be a good gift for their spouse. Up yours Lexus.

The stupid ass outback steakhouse radio commercials with their catchy, original commercials make me want to ram my car into a brick wall. We get it. Enough.

F.U.

A big FU to channel 6 news here for interrupting Oprah (on suburban teenage prostitutes BTW) for "breaking News" that TO is out because he broke his leg or some shit. Is that breaking news? Even in Philly? Nope. Nobody cares, too fucking bad, now let me get back to Oprah, man.

P.S. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

PPS it is pronounced EAGLES not Iggles. fucking losers.

How Geeks Decorate

How computer geeks decorate their tree:

http://www.mediatinker.com/blog/images/cpuTree.html

The Sickies

My poor daughter is sick. I first knew something was wrong when she wanted to sit with me on the couch, she is a very busy 23 month old and has far too much pressing business usually to take more then 2 seconds out to snuggle.
Then came the runny nose, the cough and the lack of appetite. I even made cranberry orange bread, whish she and her brother refer to as "cake" and she didn't even want a bite. She didn't want her organic green juice that she loves, a bottle, yogurt, cheerios or even pizza. My poor kids was miserable.
Nothing makes you feel more helpless then when your child is sick. Especially with a cold because you know there is nothing you can do for her, except keep fluids in her which was near impossible. I even toyed with the thought of forcing water in her, but quickly tossed that idea.
Thank good ness Baby A was such a good boy this weekend, thus somewhat balancing the crabby factor in our house, at least for two days.

Shit, could it be colder here in NJ today?!?

Opinions Needed

I am getting E a cordless drill for Christmas. Which ones are good? Which brand is better Crafsman or Black & Decker? TIA.

Somebody Stop Me

I can't go shopping anymore, I have an addiction and I need to be stopped. Why is it that I can find mounds of things for myself when I am supposed to be shopping for other people, but when I try to find something for myself for an occasion there is nothing?

I keep buying myself stuff while I am supposed to be buying for other people! Eek. I already told E I bought stuff for myself & consider that while shopping for me, so he won't buy me too much. I am reassured though, that he knows I am saying that out of obligation, and that he should continue his shopping as usual.
A girl can never have too many gifts.

$*(&$@)

Damn blogger for crapping up my post. I so don't feel like typing it over.

I am happy to report I am 75% done with my Christmas shopping. Thank goodness.

I overheard someone at Kohl's yesterday saying she was going top buy Kenny a tie tac because he doesn't have one. Wah. Kenny doesn't have one because they are out. I even doubt they were ever in. Scary shit.

So what are you getting your significant others for Christmas? E is getting tools. The babies are getting a big Dora doll, a new puzzle, remote control little cars and little people. Who knows what I am getting, E didn't even know I had a wish list on Amazon. E said he tried to get me the Felicity dvd set but nobody had it. I was like "duh, Amazon". He was all "oh yeah, Amazon, I forgot about Amazon." Then we went & smoked a doobie.
Just kidding.

I Wanna Know

I want to know what makes a man attractive outside of just good looks, or physically attractive to you? I was talking with my friends about this and we all had different answers, so I want to know what you crazy cats think. Men you can answer what you think makes a woman attractive.

I think if a man remembers something small you say in passing and then brings it up later, because he remembers it or he buys it for you. Thoughtfulness is sexy. I think a good sense of humor is attractive, obviously and someone who is smart. A man who is knowledgeable about current affairs, sports newest inventions etc. Someone you can bring anywhere & he can talk to anyone.
A man who smells good, not bathed in cologne, but smells good is extremely attractive.
What do you think?

Things I have Been Known to Do

Things I have been known to do:

Dance spastically in my car (including doing a mean robot) for the enjoyment of otheres cool enough to ride with me

Eat cold spaghetti or egg rolls for breakfast

Slide my cat across the hardwood floor because he likes it

Call the grandmother at gymboree wearing a belly shirt and a belly button ring with spandex lace up pants ( all gold lame mind you) a "post menapausal belly dancing freak"

Give "the Shocker" (http://www.rotten.com/library/language/the-finger/shocker/) in various pictures with friends

regift

What I have Been Known To Do

I have been known to dance spastically in a car, do a wicked robot, or even flash people in other cars for the amusement of myself and a few select friends. Friends that are cool enough to ride with me that is.


Yes, I am a Mother now, and yes, I do need help.

I am a Sick Individual

I may have been a mother/housewife for too long. I was watching TV when what I thought was a promo for a new show came on. I thought it looked very interesting, a newly married couple returns from their honeymoon to their new house. Only it is too small, it is a tiny house. Turns out it is only a commercial for Geico, which made me feel like a fool. Shit, it sounded like it could be a promising show.

I may need help.

You can get with this, or you can get with that

Good Weekend. Good family that visited, although as a rule, I really don't take parenting advice from people that have no children and do not want them either. Just a silly little quirk I have.
No really, leave your advice for someone who wants it because I am not buying.

I went to a Christening yesterday, really it was a dedication because the Mother is Christian and the Father is Jewish so it was pretty nondenominational but that is fine by me. It was a nice day, nothing too exciting happened.
My sister in law has left and now I am just trying to get back into my routines. I still have about 25% of my Christmas shopping to do. E is hard, this year he may get tools, because he wants them and because it is a easy gift. The babies are done, but as soon as Christmas is over I have to start planning their 2nd birthday.. I can hardly believe my babies are going to be 2! Time really goes fast when you have kids, faster then I wanted to believe time can go.
On Wendsday I will go to the cemetery because it would have been my Father's 54th Birthday. It is a very sad time of year for me, because my heart still aches every day for him. I couldn't bear to not send him his Christmas/Birthday gift this year so I sent it to the next best person, his closest brother. I know he will enjoy the gift as much as my Dad and I know he misses his best friend too.

MIA

I will be MIA for the next couple of days. My sister in law & brother in law are coming in from FL for 4 days. It is going to be a jam packed visit. Don't you worry I will be back with plenty of stories I am sure.
I even made her vegetarian chili. Now that is love.

Hair Salon

Today was the day for my touch up on my highlights. I have started to go to the salon right by my house which kills me because I have been going to my hairdresser in north Jersey for 15 years and I get a hefty discount. I just think driving 1.5 hours for a hair appointment is a little much at this point.
This was my second visit to this salon and I know I am slightly out of the loop because of my discount but really a tough up highlight and a blow out is $135? Not even a trim I tell you. The blow out is the biggest scam in the book, because I have nowhere to go with my new fabu hair but I do not want to leave the salon with soaking wet hair either. I just want it semi dry to brave the car ride home in & save myself $35 for other things, like booze. I just want it dry, no fancy hair drying tricks, no flat iron ,I can do all of that at home. Those bastards are slippery like a fish, charging this kind of scratch. Plus Megan my hair dryout chick almost pulled every hair out of my head while rappid firing questions at me. Easy on the brush there, Meg.
Plus there are 3 separate tips I am required to give, the colorist, the hair dryer/torturer and the wash girl. Bastards!

On a happy note I had two hairgasms during my repeated washings. Score one for Tuesday Girl.

For My Jewish Friends:

http://home.nc.rr.com/keehyun/stuff/jew-heyya.html

Peeps

Why is it that sometimes I enjoy reading people's blogs and then I go and do it? I go and look at their picture. Sometimes it just ruins it and the blog isn't as good as I thought it was. Some people describe them selves as "pretty" or "attractive" and clearly they are not. Some people you just expect to look homely or nerdy and they are attractive. Occasionally it just loses something for me and I don't go back for more.
The same rings true with date sites, chatrooms or blind dates you love the conversation and you just have an expectation of what they are going to look like when they don't, it loses some spark for me.

Also, people you meet that you hate or dislike or suck ruin names for you. Believe me this comes into play big time when you are trying to name people that you are about to give birth to. We had a horrible time picking out names. Names that didn't carry a bad connotation or is a horrible character on TV. I remember throwing out the name Brennan for a boy. E wouldn't go for it because he knew a boy named Timmy Brennan in friggin 1979 that was mean to him. So Brennan was out. I tried to say there was a statute of limitations on names of people you hated, otherwise known as NOPYH, but was shot down. Some names make you think of overweight people, some 90210 cast members, some are better suited for pets, some even a bratty kid you encountered.
What names do you hate for strange reasons?

Happy Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah to all of my Jewish friends! Mad props. I do know the words to 2 great Hanukkah songs, and will post lyrics if the need be.
As a point of interest, I made homemade choclate chip cookies last night & have eaten about 5 already, piggy! They are friggin good.

Poor Amanda is helping me with my blog, I screwed it up royally, as you can tell, and have to give it some TLC. Thanks in advance to her.

H E L P

I fucked up my blog. I need expert help asap. Any volunteers?

Caught You

I was watching Good Morning America today & I caught Lindsay Lohan lipsincing. Not really a shocker, I know. E sister and her husband are coming in from Florida on Thursday. We are very excited to see them and I am a little nervous about my first house guests in my new house. There are still a million things that are not unpacked yet and a ton of decorating to do.
Oh well.
Yesterday we took the babies to the Picture People to have their pictures taken, what a bad move. The dread I had all day should have told me to just stay home under the covers, but I did not heed that warning. The babies would not stop jumping, they would not sit close together iof one smiled the other was crying or looking away. It was horrible, there was nothing we could do, there will be no Christmas pictures for me this year. I was pissed. Then we took them to see Santa and they did not even cry, they sat on his lap, baby B smiled baby A didn't, but that was ok.
They are fascinated with our Christmas tree but they already broke 2 ornaments. I couldn't even put on about half of our ornaments because I knew babies + tile floor = disaster.
I was right.

Arthur

Today I am just sitting around watching Arthur. Great movie. Has Dudley Moore fell off the Earth? Loving Liza Minelli before she went all crazy.

Did you see this?

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200411/s1249440.htm I love dolphins, how great are they?!

Tidbits

• Some points of interest:
• don't try to break into my house because I just installed ADT
• Why is it that when you spell check on blogger it doesn't recognize the word "blog"? Isn't that ridiculous or ironic or something?
• I can't get used to my new keyboard.
• I love original Hamburger Helper.
• I make a mean marinara sauce, minestrone soup and chili. Should I have recipe day on this blog? Like once a week? How fun.
• My right arm underarm hair grows faster them my left. Strange?
• Love, love love the show Lost, it gets better every week. Are you people in this with me?
• I can't shake this cold & horrible cough. Any Chinese herbalists out there that enjoy my blog? I will trade witty banter for cure.

Admit it

Ok who here is going to admit that they will be watching the Nick & Jessica Holiday special tonight? Also tonight is Rudolph the red Nosed reindeer. The best movie of all time.

File Under: GROSS

The Jones Soda Co. came out with a holiday pack of five flavors - turkey and gravy, cranberry, mashed potato and butter, green bean casserole, and fruitcake. Gross. Please someone get this & tell me if it truly tastes like a meal.

OH Mr. Sun

Why can't the sun shine here in NJ more then 4 hours at a time? I feel like we live in a cage. It is starting to affect my mood.

Desperado Housewives

Did you see the show on Sunday? Great, I called that old lady being the one who wrote the letter. I also call Rex is gay. How good was Felicity Haufman's scene, that is exactly how I feel sometimes. Just getting up & leaving the kids. I guess that is how every mother feels sometimes. Anyway it is a great show.

Desperado Housewives

Did you see the show on Sunday? Great, I called that old lady being the one who wrote the letter. I also call Rex is gay. How good was Felicity Haufman's scene, that is exactly how I feel sometimes. Just getting up & leaving the kids. I guess that is how every mother feels sometimes. Anyway it is a great show.

Deperado Housewives

Did you see the show on Sunday? Great, I called that old lady being the one who wrote the letter. I also call Rex is gay. How good was Felicity Haufman's scene, that is exactly how I feel sometimes. Just getting up & leaving the kids. I guess that is how every mother feels sometimes. Anyway it is a great show.

Did Anyone Miss Me?

Well it finally happened. My computer blew the fuck up. On Friday it just ceased working, nothing, kaput, a blank slate. I cried a little. The last thing I wanted to do was buy a new computer before Christmas, and I don't want a computer to be my present. I like to think of a purchase of that caliber a "household purchase".
I am sad for my old computer which was only four years old. I am sad for the pictures that are on their that I cannot retrieve. Or can you? Does anyone know what the cost is to bring the computer to one of those geeks at best buy or somewhere & have them look at it & possible retrieve pictures?

I tried all of my tricks (2) to get it back but no such luck, E took me out yesterday to buy a new computer. On a good note, I am the proud owner of a new 17 inch flat panel, which I love.
Other then that life was uneventful. Turkey day was go, my Mom, sister & nephew came down for 2 days this weekend and we got a good deal of Christmas shopping done. I still have more to do though.

When E was dismantling the old computer he said "shame, lot of good blogs written on this computer." Very cute coming from him, he wouldn't know a blog if it punched him in the eye.

FYI, I am sick. Please feel free to send chicken soup.

Gobble

Happy Turkey Day!

Today I am Thankful for:

My Family
my babies
our new house
my health
good friends
Tivo
the yummy dinner I am preparing by myself
my life

The Day Has Come

I have been dreading this day since I learned about it in my 7th grade cooking class. It is the day I found teeny bugs in my flour. WTF? My flour is in a airtight container and it isn't that old. Also, please, I keep a clean house. Very clean. Friggin nasty ass bugs. Now I have to haul my ass to the store for flour, the day before Thanksgiving. That is a death sentence.

Also I feel like I am getting sick. Not good. I sent E for Baja Fresh which could be the only thing to turn my cold around. Mass amounts of guacamole. Didn't you ever hear of feed a fever? or a cold? or something?

Dear Lady.........

Dear Lady,

Your silver sequin newsboy cap is not in. In fact, it was never in. I understand you think it is just awesome because it matches your sequined studded leather fanny sack, but it is not great.
I will go out on a limb and assume that if it was in Shop Rite wouldn't be the location for such a ensemble either.

Consider yourself in the know.
Love, Me

P.S. Get your fucking cart out of the middle of the aisle, there are other people in the world besides you, and I am sure, your 184 cats.

Enough Already

I decided we have taken this "lets put everything that was ever once on TV and sell it on dvd" craze when I saw the Golden Girls box set. Really, the Golden Girls? Does anyone need to have this archived in their home? Can't you just watch Lifetime network to get your doses of reruns?

Speaking of the Golden Girls, I have 3 close friends and one of them pointed out that when we get old we will be just like the Golden Girls. Minus us all living in a home together and plus, I assume, more incontinence. Anyway, I was told I am Bea Arthur, because I am the tallest. Boy, does that shed rain on your parade, imagining yourself growing old to be like Bea Arthur. Not the most welcoming of thoughts.

It could be worse, I could have been elected as the slut.

I Will Admit it

As I type there is a 12 foot inflatable snowman in our yard. It's official, Tuesday has started celebrating the holidays.

I am extremely tired today, my insomnia is really starting to piss me off. I informed my household that my lack of sleep can be used against them today, so to watch their step. The babies seemed very concerned. Not.
Speaking of my beautiful children, I can hardly believe that they are now 22 months old. In two short months they will be 2. Official toddlers. Terrible twos times two. I am in for a heap of trouble.

I have to go to the grocery store today & I know that this is the worst week in the world to even attempt to go to the grocery store. I will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family of four on Thursday. We will spend a nice quiet day at home filled with good food, parades and football.
You really can't beat that.

Hellloooo

Where is everyone today? It is so boring today in blog city.

F- You!

Dear Directv,

I really tried to enjoy you lately, I haven't been cursing you and your shotty customer service out, I haven't been wishing you eternal bankruptcy like I used to. Last night was the final straw though, your local service went out at 8:30 to 9:40pm causing me to miss the end of Survivor and the entire Apprentice.
Now I have no water cooler banter to exchange with others this morning (the babies) and I have to anti-climactically look up the endings on the internet. Why couldn't this happen during an endless football game?
You are now officially fucking with my Thursday night line up and you should never, ever do that.

Don't let this happen again or I will be forced to shoot your entire company the evil eye and a personal friend of this here blog is an employee of that company, and I wouldn't want to have to get him involved.

Just concentrate on your satellite and stop fucking around,
With Malice and bad intent,
Tuesday

Signs

I have always been interested in stories of people who say that their loved one gives them "signs' that they are ok, after they pass. I never knew if it was wishful thinking or if it was true, that our loved ones watched over us and gave us signs that they were there. I looked for definite signs of my own. I haven't seen any.

Yesterday I was watching the psychic, Sylvia Brown on TV yesterday, and someone asked if her loved ones were around her. Sylvia told her yes, that they even play with her hair, the lady seemed to think this made sense and was satisfied. I started thinking about the ladybugs I have been finding lately. Last week I found one in my room, two weeks ago I found one in my living room and just a couple of days ago as I was sitting outside one landed on my arm. I thought it was a little strange because it seems too cold now for ladybugs. But who knows, I am not an expert, right?

So I was thinking maybe they are my sign, so I tested it. I told myself if I found a ladybug right now, then I know it was my Dad telling me he is ok and he is with me. I went into the family room because I have plants in there and windows so I thought that is where I would be if I was a ladybug. No such luck. No ladybugs.
Baby B wanted to be picked up so I carried her to the front of the house & we decided to open the front door for E, because he was due home.
There it was on the front screen..... A ladybug. It took my breath away. Then I looked down at the mat outside the door that the previous owners had left. It had ladybugs on it.

So you tell me, do you think it is a sign? Is it wishful thinking? If it makes me feel better then does it matter?

Top 10 Greatest Smells

They say smell, out of all the senses, is the one that triggers memory the most. It definitely does for me. The first warm day in spring when you can open all the windows in your house, brings me back to being a teenager, in my bedroom feeling melancholy. The smell of leather reminds me of my first boyfriends new car. Drakkar cologne reminds me of my Dad.
So I decided to make a top 10 list of my favorite smells, the ones that have the best memories for me:

10) Fresh cut grass
9) Old books (There is something comforting about the smell, like your grandparents house)
8) lilacs
7) a Fire in the Fireplace
6) puppy breath
5) the store smell on your new clothes (new school clothes)
4) a new box of crayons
3) those markers from grammar school, the ones that smell like fruits
2) play doh ( I know you liked the smell so much that at least once in your life you tried to taste it)
1) baby
EDIT: Mona reminded me of a great smell:
11) New pool toys otherwise known as plastic (In my house we call that smell "baby dolls at Christmas")

Good Call Dummy

If you were rich and pseudo-famous and wanted to get plastic surgery wouldn't you get the best one money could buy? I do not know a lot about breast implants, because God has amply blessed me, but I think the ol' cut around the areola-stuff it in-sew back on technique went out with the multi colored Louis Vuitton purses.
But, I could be wrong it has been known to happen.
In case you are not yet acquainted with Tara Reid's left breast, here you go: http://lightbox.retna.com/retna/kf_TaraReid35thDress_1105/index.html

Is anyone else sick of hearing about Star Jones' wedding? Enough. Today I was listening with half an ear to the View and was sick to hear her yelling at her friends for bringing a camera to the wedding when they were told not to, and changing seating arrangements so they could sit next to their friends. I am also sick of hearing her weezy breathless self talk about her gay new husband. ENOUGH.

Am I Done yet?

Are we all tired of the boo whooing I have been doing lately on here?
I think I need to let out my inner demon and bitch more.
What do you think?




P.S. Big Baby Jesus is dead. Now what? R.I.P: ODB

Xmas

As many of you know, I lost my Father to cancer in February of this year. This is becoming the hardest part of the year, even harder then right after he died because of the upcoming holidays. Not only that, but it was the week after Thanksgiving last year when my Dad called me and told me he was "bloated" and not feeling right. Those thoughts are constantly in my mind these days, consuming my every last thought. I decided to stay home for Christmas and ride out the sorrow and complete despair I feel for the sake of the rest of my family who would like to be with my children for the holidays.

Today I emailed my step-mother to see what my brother & sister would like for Christmas, and what she wrote back to me broke my heart. She does not want to buy or have anyone else buy anything for her & the kids for Christmas. She wants to escape it all in Disney and just get them gifts from Santa. That makes my heart hurt. I am so sad for her and for my sister and brother, who have to spend their entire lives without my Dad.
I will get them gifts and wrap them in non-holiday paper and give it to them in the new year.

We will celebrate 2005 and pray for a better year, because nothing could be as bad as 2004.

Scott Peterson Has Been Found Guilty...

......well duh!

I am Mad and Sad

On Thursday E told me he had to work on Saturday so we wouldn't be able to take the kids to gymboree. I said "ok, that stinks, but maybe my Mom will come down and hang out". Well my Mom can't because she has to watch my nephew and last night E springs it on me that he has to work both Saturday & Sunday. I was pissed. Ok, so he does have a new job but he never said "hey this new job pays me more but I have to work 55 hours a week." because if he did, I would have said it is not worth it.
Now before you get on my case, I understand he is the sole breadwinner and I understand the burden of being the only income earner in our house, but he wanted kids as much as I did and if I had to work the cost of two babies in day care here is $2k a month, that would be 80% of my salary. It wouldn't have been worth it. Since he has started this job he went away for 6 days, had 4 business dinners and now is working this entire weekend. He has only had this job for 1 month. Today I know he had to be there at 10am, and the place is 1 hour away. He left at 7:30am and won't be back until 6:30, that is a long day to be alone with 21 month old twins. We had a fight last night that was bad and he didn't come to bed last night. I don't know how much longer I can do this. My back has spasms I am so stressed out. I have nothing to do all weekend. I have no friends or family here, I have no fun, I have no stress release. My entire day revolves around E getting home so I can talk to an adult.I could drive the 1.5 hours to my hometown but a lot of my friends and family work on Saturday and really it is not fair to keep the kids out all day like that when they have a schedule they have to stick to, or I pay the price.
I can't afford to go shopping or get a manicure or pedicure. There is just nothing for me to do and I am sinking into this deep depression that I am frightened of.
I am so sad today and I am hurt.
I am sure this post is a big ramble.

Who Does That?

E had to get a car because his new job doesn't provide cars it just gives you a car allowance to pay for your car and insurance costs. Soooo he didn't know what he wanted and he was looking around.
Monday he comes home from work and tells me he can pick up his new car at 4:30. Who does that? Who buys a car without their significant other's input?

I told him my next car will be whatever I want. He said fine, within reason, we have to be able to afford it. I told him "we'll see."
Strange, no?

Sylvia Browne Wednesday

It is freezing today! This weekend is supposed to be very cold also. I guess I am in denial about how far we are into fall, but it just doesn't seem like it should be this cold yet. I guess I should be glad it is not snowing yet.

I haven't found anywhere to go for Christmas yet, somewhere that is affordable. Unless I want to go to my in-law's in Florida, which is no vacation, we will just have to stay home.

Does anyone else feel that showers are an inconvenience? I mean I love being clean, I am a clean freak but I just hate getting into the shower. I think I have better things to do with my time.
Like blog.

The upside of today is that it is Sylvia Browne Wednesday on Montel today. I love this lady.

A Long Time Ago

I once loved a boy who broke my heart. I met this boy at work and he liked me and I avoided him. I wasn't into dating people I worked with, because it didn't work out once before. And how do you tell someone you are not into him when you have to see him every day at work? He asked for my number, I said no. He asked one more time and I relented and gave him my beeper number. He called, and invited me to his frat party, I declined.
The boy called and flirted and pursued. I gave in because he was cute, had a accent, was tall and had hands I could marry. Then I started liking the boy, and found myself calling him more then he was calling me. I found myself checking the schedule at work to see when we would see each other again. I found myself not wanting to stop kissing him.
Then I found one of his books from school. I found it while cleaning his room. I found the words in his handwriting, Greg Loves X. The words hurt more then a slap in the face. The words were my slap in the face.
I stopped talking to the boy, and my heart hurt. I missed him, but I turned my love into hate. He called months later claiming to be a changed boy, a boy who missed me, a boy who thought about me. I started to see him again, even though the voice in my head, the one that is almost always right, said it was wrong. One day I finally mustered up enough courage to ask the boy if his heart was still with his first love. He looked at me with the beautiful green eyes that I loved, and I knew. The boy wasn't my boy and maybe he never was.

I found out a couple of months ago that the boy is finally marrying the girl he always loved, his first love. And although I am married and have two beautiful babies, my heart hurt again. It hurt because I loved him, I thought we could be together, it hurt because it was unrequited love, it hurt because I didn't want it, but gave in and it hurt because it wasn't me.
It never was.

Thanksgiving

I called my mother & my sister to see what we should do for the holidays. My sister's in laws are so annoying when it comes to the holidays and have no consideration that I live 1.5 hours from my entire family & perhaps my sister would like to see me and my family on a holiday.
My mother & sister agreed we should all do our own thing for Thanksgiving & Christmas would be at my Mom's. At first I was ok with that because I would rather see my family on Christmas then Thanksgiving, but that means E & I would have Thanksgiving alone here. That is a semi depressing idea to me. I could go to my Aunt's house but it is 2 hours away and with twins those car rides aren't always easy. Plus it is so crowded there.
My mother offered to come down the day after Thanksgiving and cook a whole turkey day meal for us, but that is not the same. I think I would be sad here alone with the babies and E.

As for Christmas, I still haven't ruled out going away for the week. I wanted to have a holiday here this year in my new house. I am a good cook and I love to entertain. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself today.
I am having a pity party and you are all invited.

My Lack of Sleep

Last night I had an interrupted sleep. It stunk.
I woke up at :

1:11am
2:21am
3:33am
4:44am

Isn't that strange? Do you even care at all?
Tylenol PM, I have just weaned myself from you and now I know you will be making your sweet return tonight. I will see you then, my pet.

It's that Time Again

Remember a month ago when I was in Macy's and I said there was actually Christmas music playing already?
Well it is official, the local mall has on all of their exterior Christmas decorations.
To top it off there is a radio station here who has started playing NOTHING but Christmas music until after January 2.
So I guess I can start decorating the interior of my house. For the babies sake of course.

Depressing

I went to Amazon.com today I checked out recommendations for me, and it was all things for babies and things I bought as gifts for other people. It had no real recommendations for me. I mean I don't want Goodnight Moon. I want a U2 cd or the Party of Five dvds. I went to my wishlist and it was all things that I wanted to buy for the babies. So I just spent a good amount of time cleaning it all up and entering things I would like.

I knew I would have to sacrifice things to have a child, nevermind twins, and I knew giving up my job, that I loved, was going to be hard. I just realized though, I haven't bought myself anything in months. And believe me I have many things on my wants list! I want a black poncho and a new pocketbook. I want a day at the spa and new black boots. I want a loveseat and two chairs for my family room and an asparagus cooker.
Good thing Christmas is coming!

I wish I could share my wishlist with you guys but again, far too advanced for me.

Dumb Ass

If Britney Spears gets pregnant on her honeymoon, she is dumber then Bush.

Why can't I stop reading stuff about her?!

Sooner or Later?

When is it socially exceptable to decorate for Christmas?

Sad

I am dissapointed with you Ohio & Florida.

C

My nephew C , who is 4, called me up on Monday to tell me about all his candy he had received for Halloween. I asked him if he would share some of his candy with me and his rely was "ok, just one but you know that the party is over right?" Very cute.

This morning he called me and told me "remember to vote, ok?". I told him he was a day late and a dollar short.

Rock It!!!!

Well, today is the day. Today is the day I have been waiting for. I have had a knot in my stomach for days. I am nervous. Whatever the outcome (although I think you know who I would like you to vote for) just get out and vote.
Especially the women. We had to fight for the right, it was not given to us, we had to come together and fight for the right to be equal to men. We wanted a voice and we finally got one, now go out and use it. We are the ones to bare the grunt of this decision. We are the ones who bare the children who have to breathe in this polluted air we make. We are the ones to stay home and work and raise our children when our husbands go off to war. We are the ones whose heart brake into pieces as our sons go off to fight a war that they were drafted into. We are the single mothers just trying to make it on a shitty minimum wage. We are the ones who innocently lost our lives as one of the thousands of civilians who perished by American hands in Iraq.
We are the ones who can turn this world around. Every vote counts.


It is going to be a long day. Lets hope the outcome is a better, stronger, more admired and unified America.

Squeezable

Dear Kraft,
Just because you make foods and put them into squeezable bottles doesn't mean that they are necessarily better. Squeezable jelly, gross. Nobody wants gob of jelly and I like preserves, really fruit not over processed red goop.
You pushed the envelope with the squeezable relish though. It is just not right. Not right at all. I want to hear the sound of the knife tinkling back and forth in the glass jar as my husband tries to shimmy out the last of the relish. I too enjoy the chase.
Ketchup is a go. Everyone loves the ketchup. I don't even think that they make glass bottles anymore, but you always have them in restaurants.
Hmmm. I never used a squeezable in a restaurant. Is the bottle a "higher class restaurant" ketchup? Plus does anyone use anything other then Heinz ketchup?
I love the generic ones that are labeled "catsup", I could never eat that ketchup based solely on that.

I thank you for your time, and please revert everything back to glass jars.
Tuesday
P.S. The jury is still out on squeezable mayo.

Weekend

I had a great weekend. Saturday was my sister's shower. We had it at a fabulous restaurant and everything was great, the food, the people, everything.
Although my sisters sister in law ordered a kids meal to go for her son who wasn't there. Who does that?

E is home, thank goodness. The stress was killing my back, I had stabbing pains throughout my back and neck. I think it finally went away, but I SO need a massage. Full body thankyouverymuch.

yesterday was great, the weather was beautiful here in NJ. A little too warm since the babies had to wear these hot costumes. Baby A was Winnie the Pooh and Baby B was a dalmation. They were so cute. They would walk right into people's houses like they owned the joint. We got to meet some of our neighbors which was great too. At least for me because I am a hermit.
I had not one teenager though, the oldest kids that came to my house was about 12. I wonder if it is not cool to trick or treat as a teenager here.
these kids may be boring, I didn't even see one toilet papered house or egg thrown on cabbage night.
Cabbage night is what we called the night before Halloween, but I know different regions call it different things. What do you call it?

Happy Day!

Not only does E come home tonight, (late tonight) but I have had chick-fil-a TWO days in a row. Life is good.

Confession

I have a confession to make. When I am mad at E I put my stray hairs on his pillow.
He hates hair and is grossed out by my long hair when it falls out of my head. So I put some on his pillow and he gets grossed out & yells. But its that kind of yell where he is trying to reprimand me but he also thinks it is funny.

It is only 9am!

Ummm, yeeeaahh. Baby B decided to go into a drawer and take out the baby oil and spill it onto my new carpet.
I just sat on the floor and cried.
Does anyone know what I should/could do to fix it? Will it stain?

Red Sox

Thank you Red Sox for finally winning. For making E the happiest man in the world today.

$*@^@)!%

Blast you Blogspot for not working all day for me!!!!!

Where is the Cheese?

I have this guilty pleasure. Celentano's eggplant Parmesan frozen dinner. I hadn't had one in ages, so knowing I was going to be eating alone this week I decided to purchase one for myself. First of all, it is smaller then it was. Second of all, there was no cheese. Not even a strip on top, nothing, no white stuff to be found anywhere. By definition doesn't "Parmesan" mean there is cheese somewhere? Talk about dissapointment.
Jesus! Way to ruin a perfectly good meal. I am just glad that fucker was on sale or Celentano would be hearing from my ass.
Actually I will still write to them to voice my displeasure. I couldn't even eat it.

I had to make frozen chicken fingers and eat them with my chick-fil-a BBQ sauce that I have stockpiled. It just wasn't the same.
I am leading a sad life.

HELP

Why doesn't Chick-fil-A deliver? SOMEONE got me craving it in the worst way. Please, who wants to pick me up some chickfila? And booze. Lots of it.

A Day in My Life

6:45-I hear little people playing, talking and laughing in the other room. I roll over & pray that it is a dream and I still have 2 hours to sleep. No such luck.
7:00- I change diapers & bring them down to watch Sesame Street, then crawl back in bed & pray to feel rested.
7:45- I am not rested. I go downstairs and turn on good Morning America and make myself coffee. I make myself a cup and remember I am a horrible coffee maker. Babies play & I make them breakfast.
8:30- babies eat breakfast
8:45 I clean up stuff that they threw on the floor, release them from their high chairs, wash the trays & bring them back upstairs. I change them out of their PJs.
9:30- nap time! thank the lord! I cannot take a nap though because I am horribly cranky after a nap. Put in a load of laundry. Try to eat breakfast myself.
12:00-lunch! More cleaning up shit they try to feed to the dog or just throw.
1:00- pray for night. Play with the babies, brake up any fights that pop up. Trying to stimulate them and bring out he genius in them all the while trying not to be pushy or scar them for life.
3:00 snack time for the babies. I check my email. I can't believe how tired I am. Answering the question "what's dat?' for the 6934 time today.
4:00- this is the most dreaded hour in my day. The babies are CRANKY, I mean crying for nothing, throwing fits, fights, the works. I try to prepare dinner without having my kids burn themselves because they cannot leave me alone for 1 second.
5:00- Dinner time, more cleaning the floor crying because I have never been this tired.
5:30- upstairs, into PJs, playing with upstairs toys. Begging them not to open the diaper drawer and take out all the diapers throwing them around the room. They do anyway.
6:15- TV time, they get to watch one show & have a bottle.
7:00- Bed time, exhaustion for me. Then I make dinner for myself. I cry out of boredom. Check my email. Watch TV. Check all the doors twice to make sure they are all locked.
8:00- go upstairs to watch TV in a new environment. Bored. Make a phone call or two.
9:00 - finally going to sleep, watching TV until I do. Remember I didn't take my medicine, curse and get up to get it. Then pee. Yell at the dog who insists on licking herself so loudly. Remark how tired I am, to myself because I have nobody else to talk to.

Me

Here are the answers to your questions:

Yes, my real name is not Tuesday, but somebody in my life is named Tuesday. As for my real identity, I will let you guess.

I usually am asleep by 11pm, I wake up at about 7:30. This week I am up earlier because E is not here, so at 6:30.

I need at least 1 cup of good coffee in the morning & I will drink 1 cup of tea at night.

Celebrities I find attractive: Antonio Sabato, LL Cool J, Jared Leto (YUM), Eddie Vedder, Diane Lane, Gwen Stefani, Beyonce, John Edwards, Zack Braff and Matthew Fox

Celebrities I hate: Will & Jada Smith, Matt Lauer, Usher, J. Lo, Britney Spears

I like sweet snacks mostly. I love brownies and right now I am in possession of my very favorite brownies, the cheesecake brownies my Aunt makes. Yum.

When my doctor told us we were having twins, I was in shock. Then I combo laugh/cried. We were in shock for probably one week.

In my pocketbook I have chapstick, wallet, 5 lipsticks, 1 lipliner, a crumbled tissue, a $7 credit at Lord & Taylor, $1, a nail file, a baby hair clip, and a pony tail holder.

If I had to be locked in a room with someone it would be Oprah Winfrey. Love her.

I like to be on top.

Good questions, thanks everyone.

Who What When Where Why

I have nothing for you again. Soooooo we will make it question /answer time again here at A Girl and Her Life.
Feel free to ask away either by email or by leaving a comment.

BTW, does anyone have a suggestion for a good pair of slippers? I need new ones. I am an isotoner girl but looking for something new. I am crazy like that.

Who What When Where Why

I have nothing for you again. Soooooo we will make it question /answer time again here at A Girl and Her Life.
Feel free to ask away either by email or by leaving a comment.

BTW, does anyone have a suggestion for a good pair of slippers? I need new ones. I am an isotoner girl but looking for something new. I am crazy like that.

Red Sox

Thank you, dear Red Sox, for finally doing what you always claim you can do. Thank you because now my husband is happy as a clam. He finally has something to hold over my sisters head. Thank you because the Yankees are too cocky and bringing them down a notch feels good.

Things I Hate:

I hate:

1. rainy depressing days unless I can stay in bed all day & watch lifetime
2. cottage cheese although I keep trying it to see if I like it yet
3. runny eggs
4. the color red on me
5. that I have regrets
6. squash
7. spiders and snakes
8. when my cat pukes on my new carpet
9. that I snack when I am bored
10. eating dinner by myself
11. heavy breathers
12. when E snores
13. seeing old people eating by themselves at restaurants
14. people who try to use me as a head rest on a plane
15. rude children
16. Will Smith
17. that I watch $40 a day on the food network even though I hate Rachel Ray
18. that I am scared of being home alone at night
19. that I didn't get my US weekly in the mail last week
20. that I have nobody to call right now, because I am bored

I Am A Thief, But Not a Good One

Today I rang up my prepared tuna fish as a lower priced item at the grocery store*. I was caught by the deli police and told which was the right key to ring it up. I am glad my children weren't there to see Mommy-the-thief in action, which may have scarred them for life.

I once stole a caramel** from my neighborhood drugstore when I was about 6. I hid it in my jewelry box (good spot dummy) and had a stomach ache for days thinking about how wrong it was. Then I threw it out and willed myself to never think about it again, because if I didn't have it in my possession then it was ok. Years later the memory came flooding back and I admitted to my Mother about my stealing ways.

Apparently I don't learn.



*The semi deserved it because they had no candy apples.

**(Is this pronounced cara-mel or carmel? I vote caramel. Plus why the fuck is the word gray spelled with an a, or an e? I vote for a)

I lead a Boring Life

My Mom is in Italy now, she has been for 6 days now and will be for 7 more. Lucky lady. This is her second trip to Italy and she is going all over the country no doubt eating, drinking and shopping. She asked me what I would like from Italy and I told her "nothing", she persisted so I said "Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, Prada, Fendi, Armani, basically anything that ends in a vowel.

I am planning a shower for my sister who got married in a civil ceremony quickly in August. It is in 11 days and I still have 10 people who have not RSVP'd yet. That is why I RSVP right away to anything I get an invitation for. Some people don't care & just show up without letting anyone know. Friggin rude people.
Anyway we told my sister to register so people would know what to get her for Christmas, but it was a ruse for this shower. I went on & checked it the other day but she had so few things on it, so I broke into her registry and added thing I know she needed.
I am sneaky like that.

Currently Thinking

Things I am currently thinking about:

Why at restaurants do they have to come over after your first bite and ask if you would like fresh pepper? What is this, inferior pepper on the table? It is not fresh?
Why not cut out the middle man and just leave fresh pepper at the table? Same with Parmesan cheese. That way if I want a glutinous amount I don't have to feel guilty about your aching arm. And I don't have to stop when I really want more but don't want to seem like a piggy.
Please support this cause.

Attention poodle/and or white dog owners: Your dog has black stuff under his eyes. It is gross. Please clean your dog and keep him groomed regularly. WTF is it anyway?
I am a huge dog lover but there are two dogs that freak me out, the big huge poodle dogs and what I call "lady dogs" which are afghans. They both are freakish looking and they scare the bejezus out of me.
Not a fan.

Who Knew?

Please consider yourself in the know:

the prime pooping position is as follows:

The Motorcycle Racer PositionAs you sit down on the toilet seat — tightening your butt muscles and supporting your weight with your hands — move your feet backwards toward the midpoint of the bowl. Slowly shift your body so that you angle away from the back of the toilet, with your weight balanced on the balls of your feet and your thighs. Once you are in this position, relax and let go of your waste.

10k

I am about to hit 10,000 hits on this here blog. Who is the lucky person going to be that is number 10k? Check it out and if you are that lucky number you win a prize*!





* yeah, I've got nothing.

Oh Sweet Nectar of the Gods

Usually I do all of my baking but I decided to surprise my babies & buy then pre-made cookies with little pumpkins on them. All you have to do is place them on a cookie sheet and bake. Well that would be easy if the yummy raw cookielicious dough wasn't irresistible to me. I ate 3 of them before they hit the oven.
I do not regret it though because it was delicious.

I feel bad for E. He has been home now for 3 weeks and he is bored out of his mind. Don't get me wrong there are a ton of things to do around the house but some of them we just don't have the money to do yet, and others are impossible with 2 toddlers running around. He is bored and ready to go back to work but when he does we will miss him and he will miss us. He has to go to California for training next Sunday. He will be gone for five days and I am not happy, I miss him so much when he leaves. Plus being here with no friends and family is lonely anyway. I am going to tell him about the raw cookie dough that is here in our house and that will cheer him right up.

Favorites

Kevin reminded me of flintstones vitamins. They so rocked. Each shape was delicious, but I really loved Pebbles. My nephew takes them now and I will admit here to stealing some in the not so distant past, for my own pleasure, mineral and vitamin needs.
I also remember as a teenager practically overdosing on St. Joseph aspirin because they tasted so good. My friend actually bought some just to snack on. They tasted like cotton candy powder, yum so good! I will have to get me some of those.
To this day I will wear a candy necklace. I love them. You are lucky those big diamond lollipop rings don't fit my fingers because I would rock those too. Then I would do what I did as a kid, place my hand stratigically on my chest and flip my hand around pretending to be at a coctail party with my real huge diamond ring.

Whose idea was it to get a tongue dispenser shaped sugar apparatus and have kids lick it & then stick it into more flavored sugars? Whoever invented it should get a prize. "Best sugar high" or "simplest idea for candy".
Something of that sort.

I am dying to send someone those retro candy boxes. Filled with awesome candy from my childhood. Lets be honest here, I am dying to get one. I have hinted around & nobody has sent me one yet.
Booooo Hiisssss

I :::Heart::: Asparagus

I had yummy asparagus for dinner at 5pm.
At 6:30pm I had to pee.
It smelled like asparagus.
What other vegetable can you say that about?

Great Weekend

We had a great weekend! I survived a haunted prison, waaay too many flirtinis, leaving the babies with a sitter and entertaining friends in my new house.

I love this fall weather, the air is so crisp here in NJ and it totally makes me in the "crafty" mood. I always get into crafts this time of year, I start knitting again and I bake & cook up a storm. I guess it is a nesting thing in cold weather.

I have to find some place to go for Christmas. This will be my first Christmas without my Dad and I don't think I can do it here. Too many memories.
I can't decide where to go though, we want to go somewhere as a family not too far away, for about 4 days. I guess we should go some place warm, I have never been anywhere but NJ on Christmas so that is a change!
Suggestions people?

Can't Wait

This is so a mojitto/flirtini weekend!
We are actually going out & we found a babysitter! Did you hear me, a babysitter. The horror!
We have never left the babies with a sitter before. I don't know how much they charge, I don't know if you are supposed to walk them home, I don't know if I will be ok leaving them.
I will put them to bed before we leave so really this teenager is just watching TV & getting paid. We will be nervous, which is natural. It is scary & sad, but I guess it had been 20.5 months it is time to leave them and I am sure they will be fine.
It is funny how we found the babysitter, we have baby sitting pimps on the street. We went to a neighbor's house that we met when we moved in. Her daughter doesn't baby sit but she said her friends did, so she called them. She called us the next night to report that they couldn't do it. She suggested she call her neighbor with 2 teenage daughters that did do baby sitting. The next night :::poof::: we had a name & number of the babysitter. We are the Johns in this story, FYI.

We are going out to a haunted house in Philly. With friends. I swear I have friends. They are even cool.

Rifriggindiculous

Tuesday I was in Macy's and they had Christmas music playing.
I swear.
Why?

Sweet Mary & Joseph

To the person who went searching google for: "blacklight" "semen" and found me instead, what the hell were you looking for?
That is so wrong.

Nip/Tuck

Great Show. Does anyone else thing that the son, Matt looks like Michael Jackson? He loosk just like him but paler (if that is possible).

Also can someone tell him enough with that mullet he is rocking?

Twice Now

Last night I had a dream about Drama Queen. My dream was that she lived behind my house with her twin daughters.

Who will I dream about next? Murphy? William? h?

Random

What is better then whipped cream? Seriously.

I am scared to tune into the Tony Danza show because I am scared I will catch him tap dancing & I cannot handle that in the morning.

I heard Good Charlotte on Howard this morning, they sang a song a capella and I liked it so much better.

This crisp NJ weather is putting me in the mood to cook comfort foods. I need to make soups. I am in need of apple picking so I can make apple crisp and apple pies. Stew is calling my name! I am much more domesticated in the winter. I find myself getting crafty, a better cook and cleaner in the winter. As I type this I am self cleaning my oven. I never did that before.
Lets face it in the summer, I am pretty much useless.

Who wants to come over and teach me how to use my capaccino/espresso maker?

Hard

I have 7 cases of leftover formula from when the babies ate that sort of stuff. I have been trying to find someone to donate it to but it is impossible. I called the local hospital, they said that they do not have a contract with Mead Johnson, the makers, so they cannot take it. I have called a women's shelter, goodwill, salvation army and my county health department, all with no luck. Finally I found a shelter that will take it about 30 minutes away.

Why is it so hard to donate something like this? I see on the news every day about abused women, starving children, abandoned babies but nobody will take my $400+ donation of the number one brand of formula.

Sad.

Register

Remember the deadline to register to vote in NJ is October 4th. In NY it is October 8th.
Remember to register people!

Debate

I am only going to make a few comments about the debate because I can easily go off.
What is with Bush's head? I think it is the first time I noticed that it is an odd shape, maybe it is too big for his body? His ears are huge and he looks like he has old man ear hair.
Um, did anyone from his camp tell him NOT to make those facial expressions & his typical posturing? Because he didn't listen and it was ridiculous.