Did Anyone Miss Me?

Well it finally happened. My computer blew the fuck up. On Friday it just ceased working, nothing, kaput, a blank slate. I cried a little. The last thing I wanted to do was buy a new computer before Christmas, and I don't want a computer to be my present. I like to think of a purchase of that caliber a "household purchase".
I am sad for my old computer which was only four years old. I am sad for the pictures that are on their that I cannot retrieve. Or can you? Does anyone know what the cost is to bring the computer to one of those geeks at best buy or somewhere & have them look at it & possible retrieve pictures?

I tried all of my tricks (2) to get it back but no such luck, E took me out yesterday to buy a new computer. On a good note, I am the proud owner of a new 17 inch flat panel, which I love.
Other then that life was uneventful. Turkey day was go, my Mom, sister & nephew came down for 2 days this weekend and we got a good deal of Christmas shopping done. I still have more to do though.

When E was dismantling the old computer he said "shame, lot of good blogs written on this computer." Very cute coming from him, he wouldn't know a blog if it punched him in the eye.

FYI, I am sick. Please feel free to send chicken soup.

Gobble

Happy Turkey Day!

Today I am Thankful for:

My Family
my babies
our new house
my health
good friends
Tivo
the yummy dinner I am preparing by myself
my life

The Day Has Come

I have been dreading this day since I learned about it in my 7th grade cooking class. It is the day I found teeny bugs in my flour. WTF? My flour is in a airtight container and it isn't that old. Also, please, I keep a clean house. Very clean. Friggin nasty ass bugs. Now I have to haul my ass to the store for flour, the day before Thanksgiving. That is a death sentence.

Also I feel like I am getting sick. Not good. I sent E for Baja Fresh which could be the only thing to turn my cold around. Mass amounts of guacamole. Didn't you ever hear of feed a fever? or a cold? or something?

Dear Lady.........

Dear Lady,

Your silver sequin newsboy cap is not in. In fact, it was never in. I understand you think it is just awesome because it matches your sequined studded leather fanny sack, but it is not great.
I will go out on a limb and assume that if it was in Shop Rite wouldn't be the location for such a ensemble either.

Consider yourself in the know.
Love, Me

P.S. Get your fucking cart out of the middle of the aisle, there are other people in the world besides you, and I am sure, your 184 cats.

Enough Already

I decided we have taken this "lets put everything that was ever once on TV and sell it on dvd" craze when I saw the Golden Girls box set. Really, the Golden Girls? Does anyone need to have this archived in their home? Can't you just watch Lifetime network to get your doses of reruns?

Speaking of the Golden Girls, I have 3 close friends and one of them pointed out that when we get old we will be just like the Golden Girls. Minus us all living in a home together and plus, I assume, more incontinence. Anyway, I was told I am Bea Arthur, because I am the tallest. Boy, does that shed rain on your parade, imagining yourself growing old to be like Bea Arthur. Not the most welcoming of thoughts.

It could be worse, I could have been elected as the slut.

I Will Admit it

As I type there is a 12 foot inflatable snowman in our yard. It's official, Tuesday has started celebrating the holidays.

I am extremely tired today, my insomnia is really starting to piss me off. I informed my household that my lack of sleep can be used against them today, so to watch their step. The babies seemed very concerned. Not.
Speaking of my beautiful children, I can hardly believe that they are now 22 months old. In two short months they will be 2. Official toddlers. Terrible twos times two. I am in for a heap of trouble.

I have to go to the grocery store today & I know that this is the worst week in the world to even attempt to go to the grocery store. I will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family of four on Thursday. We will spend a nice quiet day at home filled with good food, parades and football.
You really can't beat that.

Hellloooo

Where is everyone today? It is so boring today in blog city.

F- You!

Dear Directv,

I really tried to enjoy you lately, I haven't been cursing you and your shotty customer service out, I haven't been wishing you eternal bankruptcy like I used to. Last night was the final straw though, your local service went out at 8:30 to 9:40pm causing me to miss the end of Survivor and the entire Apprentice.
Now I have no water cooler banter to exchange with others this morning (the babies) and I have to anti-climactically look up the endings on the internet. Why couldn't this happen during an endless football game?
You are now officially fucking with my Thursday night line up and you should never, ever do that.

Don't let this happen again or I will be forced to shoot your entire company the evil eye and a personal friend of this here blog is an employee of that company, and I wouldn't want to have to get him involved.

Just concentrate on your satellite and stop fucking around,
With Malice and bad intent,
Tuesday

Signs

I have always been interested in stories of people who say that their loved one gives them "signs' that they are ok, after they pass. I never knew if it was wishful thinking or if it was true, that our loved ones watched over us and gave us signs that they were there. I looked for definite signs of my own. I haven't seen any.

Yesterday I was watching the psychic, Sylvia Brown on TV yesterday, and someone asked if her loved ones were around her. Sylvia told her yes, that they even play with her hair, the lady seemed to think this made sense and was satisfied. I started thinking about the ladybugs I have been finding lately. Last week I found one in my room, two weeks ago I found one in my living room and just a couple of days ago as I was sitting outside one landed on my arm. I thought it was a little strange because it seems too cold now for ladybugs. But who knows, I am not an expert, right?

So I was thinking maybe they are my sign, so I tested it. I told myself if I found a ladybug right now, then I know it was my Dad telling me he is ok and he is with me. I went into the family room because I have plants in there and windows so I thought that is where I would be if I was a ladybug. No such luck. No ladybugs.
Baby B wanted to be picked up so I carried her to the front of the house & we decided to open the front door for E, because he was due home.
There it was on the front screen..... A ladybug. It took my breath away. Then I looked down at the mat outside the door that the previous owners had left. It had ladybugs on it.

So you tell me, do you think it is a sign? Is it wishful thinking? If it makes me feel better then does it matter?

Top 10 Greatest Smells

They say smell, out of all the senses, is the one that triggers memory the most. It definitely does for me. The first warm day in spring when you can open all the windows in your house, brings me back to being a teenager, in my bedroom feeling melancholy. The smell of leather reminds me of my first boyfriends new car. Drakkar cologne reminds me of my Dad.
So I decided to make a top 10 list of my favorite smells, the ones that have the best memories for me:

10) Fresh cut grass
9) Old books (There is something comforting about the smell, like your grandparents house)
8) lilacs
7) a Fire in the Fireplace
6) puppy breath
5) the store smell on your new clothes (new school clothes)
4) a new box of crayons
3) those markers from grammar school, the ones that smell like fruits
2) play doh ( I know you liked the smell so much that at least once in your life you tried to taste it)
1) baby
EDIT: Mona reminded me of a great smell:
11) New pool toys otherwise known as plastic (In my house we call that smell "baby dolls at Christmas")

Good Call Dummy

If you were rich and pseudo-famous and wanted to get plastic surgery wouldn't you get the best one money could buy? I do not know a lot about breast implants, because God has amply blessed me, but I think the ol' cut around the areola-stuff it in-sew back on technique went out with the multi colored Louis Vuitton purses.
But, I could be wrong it has been known to happen.
In case you are not yet acquainted with Tara Reid's left breast, here you go: http://lightbox.retna.com/retna/kf_TaraReid35thDress_1105/index.html

Is anyone else sick of hearing about Star Jones' wedding? Enough. Today I was listening with half an ear to the View and was sick to hear her yelling at her friends for bringing a camera to the wedding when they were told not to, and changing seating arrangements so they could sit next to their friends. I am also sick of hearing her weezy breathless self talk about her gay new husband. ENOUGH.

Am I Done yet?

Are we all tired of the boo whooing I have been doing lately on here?
I think I need to let out my inner demon and bitch more.
What do you think?




P.S. Big Baby Jesus is dead. Now what? R.I.P: ODB

Xmas

As many of you know, I lost my Father to cancer in February of this year. This is becoming the hardest part of the year, even harder then right after he died because of the upcoming holidays. Not only that, but it was the week after Thanksgiving last year when my Dad called me and told me he was "bloated" and not feeling right. Those thoughts are constantly in my mind these days, consuming my every last thought. I decided to stay home for Christmas and ride out the sorrow and complete despair I feel for the sake of the rest of my family who would like to be with my children for the holidays.

Today I emailed my step-mother to see what my brother & sister would like for Christmas, and what she wrote back to me broke my heart. She does not want to buy or have anyone else buy anything for her & the kids for Christmas. She wants to escape it all in Disney and just get them gifts from Santa. That makes my heart hurt. I am so sad for her and for my sister and brother, who have to spend their entire lives without my Dad.
I will get them gifts and wrap them in non-holiday paper and give it to them in the new year.

We will celebrate 2005 and pray for a better year, because nothing could be as bad as 2004.

Scott Peterson Has Been Found Guilty...

......well duh!

I am Mad and Sad

On Thursday E told me he had to work on Saturday so we wouldn't be able to take the kids to gymboree. I said "ok, that stinks, but maybe my Mom will come down and hang out". Well my Mom can't because she has to watch my nephew and last night E springs it on me that he has to work both Saturday & Sunday. I was pissed. Ok, so he does have a new job but he never said "hey this new job pays me more but I have to work 55 hours a week." because if he did, I would have said it is not worth it.
Now before you get on my case, I understand he is the sole breadwinner and I understand the burden of being the only income earner in our house, but he wanted kids as much as I did and if I had to work the cost of two babies in day care here is $2k a month, that would be 80% of my salary. It wouldn't have been worth it. Since he has started this job he went away for 6 days, had 4 business dinners and now is working this entire weekend. He has only had this job for 1 month. Today I know he had to be there at 10am, and the place is 1 hour away. He left at 7:30am and won't be back until 6:30, that is a long day to be alone with 21 month old twins. We had a fight last night that was bad and he didn't come to bed last night. I don't know how much longer I can do this. My back has spasms I am so stressed out. I have nothing to do all weekend. I have no friends or family here, I have no fun, I have no stress release. My entire day revolves around E getting home so I can talk to an adult.I could drive the 1.5 hours to my hometown but a lot of my friends and family work on Saturday and really it is not fair to keep the kids out all day like that when they have a schedule they have to stick to, or I pay the price.
I can't afford to go shopping or get a manicure or pedicure. There is just nothing for me to do and I am sinking into this deep depression that I am frightened of.
I am so sad today and I am hurt.
I am sure this post is a big ramble.

Who Does That?

E had to get a car because his new job doesn't provide cars it just gives you a car allowance to pay for your car and insurance costs. Soooo he didn't know what he wanted and he was looking around.
Monday he comes home from work and tells me he can pick up his new car at 4:30. Who does that? Who buys a car without their significant other's input?

I told him my next car will be whatever I want. He said fine, within reason, we have to be able to afford it. I told him "we'll see."
Strange, no?

Sylvia Browne Wednesday

It is freezing today! This weekend is supposed to be very cold also. I guess I am in denial about how far we are into fall, but it just doesn't seem like it should be this cold yet. I guess I should be glad it is not snowing yet.

I haven't found anywhere to go for Christmas yet, somewhere that is affordable. Unless I want to go to my in-law's in Florida, which is no vacation, we will just have to stay home.

Does anyone else feel that showers are an inconvenience? I mean I love being clean, I am a clean freak but I just hate getting into the shower. I think I have better things to do with my time.
Like blog.

The upside of today is that it is Sylvia Browne Wednesday on Montel today. I love this lady.

A Long Time Ago

I once loved a boy who broke my heart. I met this boy at work and he liked me and I avoided him. I wasn't into dating people I worked with, because it didn't work out once before. And how do you tell someone you are not into him when you have to see him every day at work? He asked for my number, I said no. He asked one more time and I relented and gave him my beeper number. He called, and invited me to his frat party, I declined.
The boy called and flirted and pursued. I gave in because he was cute, had a accent, was tall and had hands I could marry. Then I started liking the boy, and found myself calling him more then he was calling me. I found myself checking the schedule at work to see when we would see each other again. I found myself not wanting to stop kissing him.
Then I found one of his books from school. I found it while cleaning his room. I found the words in his handwriting, Greg Loves X. The words hurt more then a slap in the face. The words were my slap in the face.
I stopped talking to the boy, and my heart hurt. I missed him, but I turned my love into hate. He called months later claiming to be a changed boy, a boy who missed me, a boy who thought about me. I started to see him again, even though the voice in my head, the one that is almost always right, said it was wrong. One day I finally mustered up enough courage to ask the boy if his heart was still with his first love. He looked at me with the beautiful green eyes that I loved, and I knew. The boy wasn't my boy and maybe he never was.

I found out a couple of months ago that the boy is finally marrying the girl he always loved, his first love. And although I am married and have two beautiful babies, my heart hurt again. It hurt because I loved him, I thought we could be together, it hurt because it was unrequited love, it hurt because I didn't want it, but gave in and it hurt because it wasn't me.
It never was.

Thanksgiving

I called my mother & my sister to see what we should do for the holidays. My sister's in laws are so annoying when it comes to the holidays and have no consideration that I live 1.5 hours from my entire family & perhaps my sister would like to see me and my family on a holiday.
My mother & sister agreed we should all do our own thing for Thanksgiving & Christmas would be at my Mom's. At first I was ok with that because I would rather see my family on Christmas then Thanksgiving, but that means E & I would have Thanksgiving alone here. That is a semi depressing idea to me. I could go to my Aunt's house but it is 2 hours away and with twins those car rides aren't always easy. Plus it is so crowded there.
My mother offered to come down the day after Thanksgiving and cook a whole turkey day meal for us, but that is not the same. I think I would be sad here alone with the babies and E.

As for Christmas, I still haven't ruled out going away for the week. I wanted to have a holiday here this year in my new house. I am a good cook and I love to entertain. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself today.
I am having a pity party and you are all invited.

My Lack of Sleep

Last night I had an interrupted sleep. It stunk.
I woke up at :

1:11am
2:21am
3:33am
4:44am

Isn't that strange? Do you even care at all?
Tylenol PM, I have just weaned myself from you and now I know you will be making your sweet return tonight. I will see you then, my pet.

It's that Time Again

Remember a month ago when I was in Macy's and I said there was actually Christmas music playing already?
Well it is official, the local mall has on all of their exterior Christmas decorations.
To top it off there is a radio station here who has started playing NOTHING but Christmas music until after January 2.
So I guess I can start decorating the interior of my house. For the babies sake of course.

Depressing

I went to Amazon.com today I checked out recommendations for me, and it was all things for babies and things I bought as gifts for other people. It had no real recommendations for me. I mean I don't want Goodnight Moon. I want a U2 cd or the Party of Five dvds. I went to my wishlist and it was all things that I wanted to buy for the babies. So I just spent a good amount of time cleaning it all up and entering things I would like.

I knew I would have to sacrifice things to have a child, nevermind twins, and I knew giving up my job, that I loved, was going to be hard. I just realized though, I haven't bought myself anything in months. And believe me I have many things on my wants list! I want a black poncho and a new pocketbook. I want a day at the spa and new black boots. I want a loveseat and two chairs for my family room and an asparagus cooker.
Good thing Christmas is coming!

I wish I could share my wishlist with you guys but again, far too advanced for me.

Dumb Ass

If Britney Spears gets pregnant on her honeymoon, she is dumber then Bush.

Why can't I stop reading stuff about her?!

Sooner or Later?

When is it socially exceptable to decorate for Christmas?

Sad

I am dissapointed with you Ohio & Florida.

C

My nephew C , who is 4, called me up on Monday to tell me about all his candy he had received for Halloween. I asked him if he would share some of his candy with me and his rely was "ok, just one but you know that the party is over right?" Very cute.

This morning he called me and told me "remember to vote, ok?". I told him he was a day late and a dollar short.

Rock It!!!!

Well, today is the day. Today is the day I have been waiting for. I have had a knot in my stomach for days. I am nervous. Whatever the outcome (although I think you know who I would like you to vote for) just get out and vote.
Especially the women. We had to fight for the right, it was not given to us, we had to come together and fight for the right to be equal to men. We wanted a voice and we finally got one, now go out and use it. We are the ones to bare the grunt of this decision. We are the ones who bare the children who have to breathe in this polluted air we make. We are the ones to stay home and work and raise our children when our husbands go off to war. We are the ones whose heart brake into pieces as our sons go off to fight a war that they were drafted into. We are the single mothers just trying to make it on a shitty minimum wage. We are the ones who innocently lost our lives as one of the thousands of civilians who perished by American hands in Iraq.
We are the ones who can turn this world around. Every vote counts.


It is going to be a long day. Lets hope the outcome is a better, stronger, more admired and unified America.

Squeezable

Dear Kraft,
Just because you make foods and put them into squeezable bottles doesn't mean that they are necessarily better. Squeezable jelly, gross. Nobody wants gob of jelly and I like preserves, really fruit not over processed red goop.
You pushed the envelope with the squeezable relish though. It is just not right. Not right at all. I want to hear the sound of the knife tinkling back and forth in the glass jar as my husband tries to shimmy out the last of the relish. I too enjoy the chase.
Ketchup is a go. Everyone loves the ketchup. I don't even think that they make glass bottles anymore, but you always have them in restaurants.
Hmmm. I never used a squeezable in a restaurant. Is the bottle a "higher class restaurant" ketchup? Plus does anyone use anything other then Heinz ketchup?
I love the generic ones that are labeled "catsup", I could never eat that ketchup based solely on that.

I thank you for your time, and please revert everything back to glass jars.
Tuesday
P.S. The jury is still out on squeezable mayo.

Weekend

I had a great weekend. Saturday was my sister's shower. We had it at a fabulous restaurant and everything was great, the food, the people, everything.
Although my sisters sister in law ordered a kids meal to go for her son who wasn't there. Who does that?

E is home, thank goodness. The stress was killing my back, I had stabbing pains throughout my back and neck. I think it finally went away, but I SO need a massage. Full body thankyouverymuch.

yesterday was great, the weather was beautiful here in NJ. A little too warm since the babies had to wear these hot costumes. Baby A was Winnie the Pooh and Baby B was a dalmation. They were so cute. They would walk right into people's houses like they owned the joint. We got to meet some of our neighbors which was great too. At least for me because I am a hermit.
I had not one teenager though, the oldest kids that came to my house was about 12. I wonder if it is not cool to trick or treat as a teenager here.
these kids may be boring, I didn't even see one toilet papered house or egg thrown on cabbage night.
Cabbage night is what we called the night before Halloween, but I know different regions call it different things. What do you call it?

Happy Day!

Not only does E come home tonight, (late tonight) but I have had chick-fil-a TWO days in a row. Life is good.

Confession

I have a confession to make. When I am mad at E I put my stray hairs on his pillow.
He hates hair and is grossed out by my long hair when it falls out of my head. So I put some on his pillow and he gets grossed out & yells. But its that kind of yell where he is trying to reprimand me but he also thinks it is funny.

It is only 9am!

Ummm, yeeeaahh. Baby B decided to go into a drawer and take out the baby oil and spill it onto my new carpet.
I just sat on the floor and cried.
Does anyone know what I should/could do to fix it? Will it stain?

Red Sox

Thank you Red Sox for finally winning. For making E the happiest man in the world today.

$*@^@)!%

Blast you Blogspot for not working all day for me!!!!!

Where is the Cheese?

I have this guilty pleasure. Celentano's eggplant Parmesan frozen dinner. I hadn't had one in ages, so knowing I was going to be eating alone this week I decided to purchase one for myself. First of all, it is smaller then it was. Second of all, there was no cheese. Not even a strip on top, nothing, no white stuff to be found anywhere. By definition doesn't "Parmesan" mean there is cheese somewhere? Talk about dissapointment.
Jesus! Way to ruin a perfectly good meal. I am just glad that fucker was on sale or Celentano would be hearing from my ass.
Actually I will still write to them to voice my displeasure. I couldn't even eat it.

I had to make frozen chicken fingers and eat them with my chick-fil-a BBQ sauce that I have stockpiled. It just wasn't the same.
I am leading a sad life.

HELP

Why doesn't Chick-fil-A deliver? SOMEONE got me craving it in the worst way. Please, who wants to pick me up some chickfila? And booze. Lots of it.

A Day in My Life

6:45-I hear little people playing, talking and laughing in the other room. I roll over & pray that it is a dream and I still have 2 hours to sleep. No such luck.
7:00- I change diapers & bring them down to watch Sesame Street, then crawl back in bed & pray to feel rested.
7:45- I am not rested. I go downstairs and turn on good Morning America and make myself coffee. I make myself a cup and remember I am a horrible coffee maker. Babies play & I make them breakfast.
8:30- babies eat breakfast
8:45 I clean up stuff that they threw on the floor, release them from their high chairs, wash the trays & bring them back upstairs. I change them out of their PJs.
9:30- nap time! thank the lord! I cannot take a nap though because I am horribly cranky after a nap. Put in a load of laundry. Try to eat breakfast myself.
12:00-lunch! More cleaning up shit they try to feed to the dog or just throw.
1:00- pray for night. Play with the babies, brake up any fights that pop up. Trying to stimulate them and bring out he genius in them all the while trying not to be pushy or scar them for life.
3:00 snack time for the babies. I check my email. I can't believe how tired I am. Answering the question "what's dat?' for the 6934 time today.
4:00- this is the most dreaded hour in my day. The babies are CRANKY, I mean crying for nothing, throwing fits, fights, the works. I try to prepare dinner without having my kids burn themselves because they cannot leave me alone for 1 second.
5:00- Dinner time, more cleaning the floor crying because I have never been this tired.
5:30- upstairs, into PJs, playing with upstairs toys. Begging them not to open the diaper drawer and take out all the diapers throwing them around the room. They do anyway.
6:15- TV time, they get to watch one show & have a bottle.
7:00- Bed time, exhaustion for me. Then I make dinner for myself. I cry out of boredom. Check my email. Watch TV. Check all the doors twice to make sure they are all locked.
8:00- go upstairs to watch TV in a new environment. Bored. Make a phone call or two.
9:00 - finally going to sleep, watching TV until I do. Remember I didn't take my medicine, curse and get up to get it. Then pee. Yell at the dog who insists on licking herself so loudly. Remark how tired I am, to myself because I have nobody else to talk to.

Me

Here are the answers to your questions:

Yes, my real name is not Tuesday, but somebody in my life is named Tuesday. As for my real identity, I will let you guess.

I usually am asleep by 11pm, I wake up at about 7:30. This week I am up earlier because E is not here, so at 6:30.

I need at least 1 cup of good coffee in the morning & I will drink 1 cup of tea at night.

Celebrities I find attractive: Antonio Sabato, LL Cool J, Jared Leto (YUM), Eddie Vedder, Diane Lane, Gwen Stefani, Beyonce, John Edwards, Zack Braff and Matthew Fox

Celebrities I hate: Will & Jada Smith, Matt Lauer, Usher, J. Lo, Britney Spears

I like sweet snacks mostly. I love brownies and right now I am in possession of my very favorite brownies, the cheesecake brownies my Aunt makes. Yum.

When my doctor told us we were having twins, I was in shock. Then I combo laugh/cried. We were in shock for probably one week.

In my pocketbook I have chapstick, wallet, 5 lipsticks, 1 lipliner, a crumbled tissue, a $7 credit at Lord & Taylor, $1, a nail file, a baby hair clip, and a pony tail holder.

If I had to be locked in a room with someone it would be Oprah Winfrey. Love her.

I like to be on top.

Good questions, thanks everyone.

Who What When Where Why

I have nothing for you again. Soooooo we will make it question /answer time again here at A Girl and Her Life.
Feel free to ask away either by email or by leaving a comment.

BTW, does anyone have a suggestion for a good pair of slippers? I need new ones. I am an isotoner girl but looking for something new. I am crazy like that.

Who What When Where Why

I have nothing for you again. Soooooo we will make it question /answer time again here at A Girl and Her Life.
Feel free to ask away either by email or by leaving a comment.

BTW, does anyone have a suggestion for a good pair of slippers? I need new ones. I am an isotoner girl but looking for something new. I am crazy like that.

Red Sox

Thank you, dear Red Sox, for finally doing what you always claim you can do. Thank you because now my husband is happy as a clam. He finally has something to hold over my sisters head. Thank you because the Yankees are too cocky and bringing them down a notch feels good.

Things I Hate:

I hate:

1. rainy depressing days unless I can stay in bed all day & watch lifetime
2. cottage cheese although I keep trying it to see if I like it yet
3. runny eggs
4. the color red on me
5. that I have regrets
6. squash
7. spiders and snakes
8. when my cat pukes on my new carpet
9. that I snack when I am bored
10. eating dinner by myself
11. heavy breathers
12. when E snores
13. seeing old people eating by themselves at restaurants
14. people who try to use me as a head rest on a plane
15. rude children
16. Will Smith
17. that I watch $40 a day on the food network even though I hate Rachel Ray
18. that I am scared of being home alone at night
19. that I didn't get my US weekly in the mail last week
20. that I have nobody to call right now, because I am bored

I Am A Thief, But Not a Good One

Today I rang up my prepared tuna fish as a lower priced item at the grocery store*. I was caught by the deli police and told which was the right key to ring it up. I am glad my children weren't there to see Mommy-the-thief in action, which may have scarred them for life.

I once stole a caramel** from my neighborhood drugstore when I was about 6. I hid it in my jewelry box (good spot dummy) and had a stomach ache for days thinking about how wrong it was. Then I threw it out and willed myself to never think about it again, because if I didn't have it in my possession then it was ok. Years later the memory came flooding back and I admitted to my Mother about my stealing ways.

Apparently I don't learn.



*The semi deserved it because they had no candy apples.

**(Is this pronounced cara-mel or carmel? I vote caramel. Plus why the fuck is the word gray spelled with an a, or an e? I vote for a)

I lead a Boring Life

My Mom is in Italy now, she has been for 6 days now and will be for 7 more. Lucky lady. This is her second trip to Italy and she is going all over the country no doubt eating, drinking and shopping. She asked me what I would like from Italy and I told her "nothing", she persisted so I said "Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, Prada, Fendi, Armani, basically anything that ends in a vowel.

I am planning a shower for my sister who got married in a civil ceremony quickly in August. It is in 11 days and I still have 10 people who have not RSVP'd yet. That is why I RSVP right away to anything I get an invitation for. Some people don't care & just show up without letting anyone know. Friggin rude people.
Anyway we told my sister to register so people would know what to get her for Christmas, but it was a ruse for this shower. I went on & checked it the other day but she had so few things on it, so I broke into her registry and added thing I know she needed.
I am sneaky like that.

Currently Thinking

Things I am currently thinking about:

Why at restaurants do they have to come over after your first bite and ask if you would like fresh pepper? What is this, inferior pepper on the table? It is not fresh?
Why not cut out the middle man and just leave fresh pepper at the table? Same with Parmesan cheese. That way if I want a glutinous amount I don't have to feel guilty about your aching arm. And I don't have to stop when I really want more but don't want to seem like a piggy.
Please support this cause.

Attention poodle/and or white dog owners: Your dog has black stuff under his eyes. It is gross. Please clean your dog and keep him groomed regularly. WTF is it anyway?
I am a huge dog lover but there are two dogs that freak me out, the big huge poodle dogs and what I call "lady dogs" which are afghans. They both are freakish looking and they scare the bejezus out of me.
Not a fan.

Who Knew?

Please consider yourself in the know:

the prime pooping position is as follows:

The Motorcycle Racer PositionAs you sit down on the toilet seat — tightening your butt muscles and supporting your weight with your hands — move your feet backwards toward the midpoint of the bowl. Slowly shift your body so that you angle away from the back of the toilet, with your weight balanced on the balls of your feet and your thighs. Once you are in this position, relax and let go of your waste.

10k

I am about to hit 10,000 hits on this here blog. Who is the lucky person going to be that is number 10k? Check it out and if you are that lucky number you win a prize*!





* yeah, I've got nothing.

Oh Sweet Nectar of the Gods

Usually I do all of my baking but I decided to surprise my babies & buy then pre-made cookies with little pumpkins on them. All you have to do is place them on a cookie sheet and bake. Well that would be easy if the yummy raw cookielicious dough wasn't irresistible to me. I ate 3 of them before they hit the oven.
I do not regret it though because it was delicious.

I feel bad for E. He has been home now for 3 weeks and he is bored out of his mind. Don't get me wrong there are a ton of things to do around the house but some of them we just don't have the money to do yet, and others are impossible with 2 toddlers running around. He is bored and ready to go back to work but when he does we will miss him and he will miss us. He has to go to California for training next Sunday. He will be gone for five days and I am not happy, I miss him so much when he leaves. Plus being here with no friends and family is lonely anyway. I am going to tell him about the raw cookie dough that is here in our house and that will cheer him right up.

Favorites

Kevin reminded me of flintstones vitamins. They so rocked. Each shape was delicious, but I really loved Pebbles. My nephew takes them now and I will admit here to stealing some in the not so distant past, for my own pleasure, mineral and vitamin needs.
I also remember as a teenager practically overdosing on St. Joseph aspirin because they tasted so good. My friend actually bought some just to snack on. They tasted like cotton candy powder, yum so good! I will have to get me some of those.
To this day I will wear a candy necklace. I love them. You are lucky those big diamond lollipop rings don't fit my fingers because I would rock those too. Then I would do what I did as a kid, place my hand stratigically on my chest and flip my hand around pretending to be at a coctail party with my real huge diamond ring.

Whose idea was it to get a tongue dispenser shaped sugar apparatus and have kids lick it & then stick it into more flavored sugars? Whoever invented it should get a prize. "Best sugar high" or "simplest idea for candy".
Something of that sort.

I am dying to send someone those retro candy boxes. Filled with awesome candy from my childhood. Lets be honest here, I am dying to get one. I have hinted around & nobody has sent me one yet.
Booooo Hiisssss

I :::Heart::: Asparagus

I had yummy asparagus for dinner at 5pm.
At 6:30pm I had to pee.
It smelled like asparagus.
What other vegetable can you say that about?

Great Weekend

We had a great weekend! I survived a haunted prison, waaay too many flirtinis, leaving the babies with a sitter and entertaining friends in my new house.

I love this fall weather, the air is so crisp here in NJ and it totally makes me in the "crafty" mood. I always get into crafts this time of year, I start knitting again and I bake & cook up a storm. I guess it is a nesting thing in cold weather.

I have to find some place to go for Christmas. This will be my first Christmas without my Dad and I don't think I can do it here. Too many memories.
I can't decide where to go though, we want to go somewhere as a family not too far away, for about 4 days. I guess we should go some place warm, I have never been anywhere but NJ on Christmas so that is a change!
Suggestions people?

Can't Wait

This is so a mojitto/flirtini weekend!
We are actually going out & we found a babysitter! Did you hear me, a babysitter. The horror!
We have never left the babies with a sitter before. I don't know how much they charge, I don't know if you are supposed to walk them home, I don't know if I will be ok leaving them.
I will put them to bed before we leave so really this teenager is just watching TV & getting paid. We will be nervous, which is natural. It is scary & sad, but I guess it had been 20.5 months it is time to leave them and I am sure they will be fine.
It is funny how we found the babysitter, we have baby sitting pimps on the street. We went to a neighbor's house that we met when we moved in. Her daughter doesn't baby sit but she said her friends did, so she called them. She called us the next night to report that they couldn't do it. She suggested she call her neighbor with 2 teenage daughters that did do baby sitting. The next night :::poof::: we had a name & number of the babysitter. We are the Johns in this story, FYI.

We are going out to a haunted house in Philly. With friends. I swear I have friends. They are even cool.

Rifriggindiculous

Tuesday I was in Macy's and they had Christmas music playing.
I swear.
Why?

Sweet Mary & Joseph

To the person who went searching google for: "blacklight" "semen" and found me instead, what the hell were you looking for?
That is so wrong.

Nip/Tuck

Great Show. Does anyone else thing that the son, Matt looks like Michael Jackson? He loosk just like him but paler (if that is possible).

Also can someone tell him enough with that mullet he is rocking?

Twice Now

Last night I had a dream about Drama Queen. My dream was that she lived behind my house with her twin daughters.

Who will I dream about next? Murphy? William? h?

Random

What is better then whipped cream? Seriously.

I am scared to tune into the Tony Danza show because I am scared I will catch him tap dancing & I cannot handle that in the morning.

I heard Good Charlotte on Howard this morning, they sang a song a capella and I liked it so much better.

This crisp NJ weather is putting me in the mood to cook comfort foods. I need to make soups. I am in need of apple picking so I can make apple crisp and apple pies. Stew is calling my name! I am much more domesticated in the winter. I find myself getting crafty, a better cook and cleaner in the winter. As I type this I am self cleaning my oven. I never did that before.
Lets face it in the summer, I am pretty much useless.

Who wants to come over and teach me how to use my capaccino/espresso maker?

Hard

I have 7 cases of leftover formula from when the babies ate that sort of stuff. I have been trying to find someone to donate it to but it is impossible. I called the local hospital, they said that they do not have a contract with Mead Johnson, the makers, so they cannot take it. I have called a women's shelter, goodwill, salvation army and my county health department, all with no luck. Finally I found a shelter that will take it about 30 minutes away.

Why is it so hard to donate something like this? I see on the news every day about abused women, starving children, abandoned babies but nobody will take my $400+ donation of the number one brand of formula.

Sad.

Register

Remember the deadline to register to vote in NJ is October 4th. In NY it is October 8th.
Remember to register people!

Debate

I am only going to make a few comments about the debate because I can easily go off.
What is with Bush's head? I think it is the first time I noticed that it is an odd shape, maybe it is too big for his body? His ears are huge and he looks like he has old man ear hair.
Um, did anyone from his camp tell him NOT to make those facial expressions & his typical posturing? Because he didn't listen and it was ridiculous.

Sucks to be You

Ah, Merck is feeling the pain today boy. Vioxx is officially no more. Pfizer is celebrating today though because they sell Celebrex, the competition. Vioxx was a huge money maker for those cats and now they are going to hurt. Perhaps Pfizer will scoop them up in their little arms, give them a baba, tuck them in their tiny cribs and while they are snoring away buy the company & lay off hundreds of people. As usual.

Today I got my hair done & why god, is a good shampoo girl better then an orgasm? Shit I love those head massages! I was in my glory because I had my highlights done & so I am entitled to TWO glorious shampoos. Love it. I remember the best massage I had was on my honeymoon & I got a massage and she rubbed my head for like 10 minutes. It was better then the back massage. I love you little St. Lucia woman!!!! I still think about you often. I wish you well.

You're Hired!

Well, E did not get fired last week, (over 300 of his fellow salesmen were not so lucky) but he did get the new job! He is very excited and he cannot wait to start. He will have to go to CA for training for a week but I a pro at being alone with the babies by now. So thanks for the well wishes everyone.
Now for me, I may apply for a job at pottery barn. I am not sure if I will ever come home with a paycheck though, I may just abused the company discount. That is why I cannot work at Barnes & Noble. Or the Gap. Or Annie Sez. Or Lord & Taylor.

I am cranky today, I have my period and I hate it. I am getting hair touched up tomorrow though and that always makes a girl feel better. While I am there I need to check out some new shampoos. I love nice, long lasting smelly shampoo. Anyone have one they love?

TV

Who is more excited then me for Nip/Tuck tonight?!? Nobody! How much does this show rock this season? I am loooving it.
Other things on my mindless TV schedule:
Survivor (which I hate that I am into but my Dad & I would watch it and discuss so I have to let the tradition live on)
Growing up Gotti
Trading Spouses
ANY documentary *
ER
Scrubs
Arrested Development


*Especially HBO docs.

Weekend

We had a nice weekend around these parts. Saturday my sister in law came over to babysat so we could go out to dinner for our anniversary. We went to a great restaurant in Philadelphia that is now my new favorite restaurant, even though they didn't know how to make a flirtini. I had the best lobster bisque and the best filet mignon I have ever had. It was delicious and I can't wait to go back there. I also shopped the fall sale at banana republic while we were waiting for our reservation time. They had some good stuff.
Philadelphia is a strange city, it is hard for me to even considerate a city because I am a NYC girl. Philly is just not the same. I remember when I went to Columbus Ohio for my college orientation, the taxi driver said something about the city and I was like "this is not a city." Not that the great people of Ohio were very welcoming to a NJ girl, but that is another story for another day.

Yesterday my sister & brother & other sister came over as well as my step mother and her mother. We had a nice day & I got to show them around the new house. They are welcome any time especially considering the babies slept until 7am, late around this house!

Why?

Why is Mark McGrath a host of Extra? WTF is that?

Why is the "Insider" rocking my world at 7:30 pm M-F? Love it.

Why is my friend so cheap she won't even call me on the phone, she just emails me, but call all my other "local" friends?

Why is Isaac Mizrahi taking it up a notch for Target? He has some nice clothes over there at Target.

Why did Britney Spears get married when everyone in the ENTIRE world know it won't last 6 months? Why can't that dirt bag she married,shave? Why is she so trashy?

Why is it that old ladies usually resemble men?

Why?

Rock it baby!

Eleven more days to register to vote! Remember to register kiddies!
Vote Vote Vote Vote!!!!!!!!!!

Happy anniversary to me!

Today is our 4th wedding anniversary. Four years ago today I was preparing to marry the sweetest guy in the planet and I have never looked back. Not even one regret, ever.
I was thinking about all the reasons I loved him today and there are just too many, he is a part of me, and I of him. I want to hold his hand forever, the hands that show his character and his strength. I wish I could be carried by these hands every day but instead, he carries me on his shoulders. I want to wake up to his green eyes forever, the eyes that you can see all the love he has to give and the sincerity of everything he says to me.
I want to always be surrounded by his protective arms and never have to be scared again.
When I am sad he is not only sad for me, he is sad with me, making me realize no matter how alone I feel he will always be right there standing next to me. When I felt like I couldn't bare to face another day of this cruel, heartless world he reminded me of how much he and the babies need me and that it will get better. Because it has to.
When I am happy he is the one who celebrates with me, again always by my side.
I never knew how lucky I would be, to live my life with him, to share my life with him.
Happy Anniversary E, I love you forever.

Hello?

Where the hell is everybody? All the blogs seem to be dead the past week.

E's interview went really well he said. Thanks for all the positive energy. Now we have to wait for tomorrow he could get fired and hired all in one day. That is what we hope for! We need the 10 weeks severance so as not to become homeless.
I would not like to be selling mashed potatoes with the cat in the tuxedo.

Emmys

Ummm, What is wrong with Gary Shandling's face? Did he have work on it, or worse, did he have nothing done? Wow, that was scary.
I was happy that Cynthia Nixon & SJP won, I love SJP and I think she is great & beautiful. She always looks like she stepped out of a Barbie box. Love, love love her.
Who is Elaine Stritch? Anyway she was hysterical.
One of my favorite shows is Arrested Development, it is genius and I am SO happy they won some awards. They were on the verge of being cancelled there for awhile. If you have never seen the show, you should watch.
Happy to see Zack Braff presenting.
Marishka from Law & Order is gorgeous! Remember her from ER?
Happy for Michael Imperoli and Drea DeMateo for Sopranos because they deserved it and I am in mad love with the show. I once met Michael and had my picture taken with him but my friend cut off our heads. This is the same friend that just got married. I hate her. I will post the picture some day.
When I learn how.
Don't hold your breath.

Babs S. was wearing some sort of curtains. Why, James Brolin, why?

Do me a Flavor?

Can everyone send good vibes and say little prayers for us? E has a interview for a job he really wants tomorrow and his layoffs at work take place on Wednesday. Yikes. It also happens to be our anniversary that day, great timing!
The best case scenario is that he has a great interview tomorrow, gets fired at his job on Wednesday, collects severance, and gets hired at new job on Thursday! Yay.
Worst case scenario includes us becoming homeless and therefore will have to stop blogging. Boooo Hiiiissss.

On a side note, I watched Maid in Manhattan yesterday morning and I really cannot believe how bad an actress Jennifer Lopez is. It was barely watchable and the entire story line was obvious just from the previews. But I did watch it and I was pissed at myself afterwards. Bad Tuesday girl.

Friends

I still have many friends that I had in high school. Some of my best friends I have known since 6th grade actually. I have also always gotten along better with boys then girls. I have always had a ton of boy friends. Girls just can be so hard on each other, gossipy and jealous. I dealt much better with boys.

I don't have any new friends in this town. We met our neighbors and they all seem very nice but not necessarily types we would be close friends with, more like acquaintances. Plus they all are older then us, we seem to be the youngest people on the block. I am sure I will meet new people if I start working part time. I really don't want a run of the mill part time retail job though. Yuk. Those are filled with young high schoolers. I surely have nothing in common with them, except maybe drinking until I pass out. Just kidding.
Other then work how do people meet other people? I would go to the gym if I could afford to join right now.
Hmm, this could be my 3/4 through the new year resolution.

Who wants to pay me for doing stuff for you from my house??? Any takers?

What kind of man are you?

I have noticed a lot more men staring at my chest lately. I don't know why, I have been the same size for my entire adult life, which is not exceptionally big or small. I am not wearing cleavage revealing clothing. I do not write LOOK on my T shirts either. So why all the looks? I decided that it is because most men are boob men. Of course there are butt men, stomach men, leg men* and the ever scary, foot men out there but most of them are all in it for the boobs.

Is it cleavage or the hope of seeing the outline of a nipple or is it the entire breast itself that men radar into like drug hounds? Why don't women find men's penises that alluring? the reason is woman have beautiful bodies and men don't. Women are soft and curvy, and men's are more utilitarian. Don't get me wrong I love men, but really, nothing really great to look at.



* In my experience all leg men are over the age of 63 and also love medicare and anything that comes with a senior drink.

Bring me a Banana Cognac, Bitch!

Yesterday I took the babies back to my home town to go to the local park & spend the day with my sister and nephew. We had a nice time and it wasn't crowded at all, which is a first. I have noted though that being a stay at home mother means a ton of days at the local malls and parks. I mean what else can you do with them? My kids aren't old enough for crafts or painting and I don't want to stick them in front of the TV all the time. If it is raining (like today & tomorrow) then what do you do all day?

I need to get a job, sigh. I need to bring in an income for this family now that we own a house. I just don't know what to do though. I need suggestions and help.

My babies now officially say "mommy". It is the best feeling in the world. I could listen to it all day long, instead though I listen to the whirling of tires as they ride their little trucks around and around the house. Whose idea was it to have hard wood floors again? Oh yeah, mine. Note to self: don't complain about floors to husband, may cause big purple vein in his neck to pulse.

Has anyone seen this new season of starting over? It is some funny shit. There is a lady in there who, complete with jheri curl, sat on the couch in spandex, a fanny pack, listening to a walkman ate cotton candy out of a pouch using a fork! I completely died! Classic. She also told her roomate that she is premenapausal and brought her own fan & sleeps butt naked. The look on her roomates face was priceless.

Tips, please

I was in this ice cream place last week and I bought two small cups of ice cream a vanilla and a coffee lovers. The bill was $7 and change. I almost died. When the babies and I were leaving someone else came in & bought a bunch of stuff to go, when she left the workers yelled that they got a tip & broke into a song. Some song about scooping ice cream all day. I had to get out of there when that shit went down.
When I was driving home I was thinking about how I didn't see a tip jar there. Then I was thinking how far is this tip thing going? I am a good tipper and never things twice about tipping my hairstylist, manicurists, valet guys, shampooer etc. But where does it end? Should I tip people just for doing their job? Should I tip my grocery bagger or my mail man every day?

I think I should get tips from the babies. I feed & clean up after them all day. I should get some tips based on my performance. I should get at least $2 for each dirty diaper I change. I mean, the poop sometimes, man, is unreal. I sometimes do 4-5 a day. Of just poop. That is for a whole other post though.

Questions, Answered

Having twins is hard, but it is the only thing I know. What would have been harder is if I had 1 child first then twins. The only thing that was hard at first was sleep deprivation. I couldn't function.
Now I have new hurtles like hitting, two different personalities to please and now 2 different appetites.
I would never change it for the world and they truly were a miracle.

No bush, bush is bad.

When I am sad I listen to Cat Stevens, Enya, Sade and Josh Radin. Or I just listen to myself cry in the dark.

Q&A

I will be honest with you, today I got nothing for you. Nada. Zero.

Sooooooo I will answer any questions you guys have for me about me or this here blog. Or you can suggest a topic you would like to hear my thoughts about. And you know I have thoughts on everything.
You can either leave your question as a comment or email it to me.

Dear Syrup

My Dearest Syrup, how I love you so. Your oozy caramel colored self glistening on my morning waffles*, and if I am lucky yummy pancakes on the weekend. I love you, but not too much of you, on my lightly toasted waffles and turkey sausage links. I dream of you in the early morn and wait for the time when we can be together.
I love you especially, when you come out of a African American lady because that is when you taste the best.

I do not love you though, when you get on my hands or counter tops. I clean you right up. I don't like you to linger.

Thank you dear syrup for "making my mornings brighter girl, for making the sun shine brighter girl"......Oops that was Davey Jones typing.


*when I am not eating large fish for breakfast.

Breakfast of Champions

E has a co worker that loves salmon and she eats it, minimally, twice a day. She almost always eats it for breakfast. My comment to that was : gross.
Today I ate swordfish for breakfast. E brought it home from a dinner he gave last night and I consumed it around 10:30 this morning*.
Is that gross?
I guess it is.
I used to love cold pizza for breakfast (who doesn't) but I am not too fond of that now. I will always eat pasta for breakfast though. Keep in mind I would never prepare it for myself for breakfast, I would only eat such things if they were leftover.
Preparing it would be ridiculous.
*Ok fine you caught me, I had a brownie first. It was a small one homemade from some nice lady across the street to welcome us. It was fudgy and walnuty goodness in a tiny square.
Hey, stop judging me, you need an appetizer before you eat swordfish. Everyone knows that. Duh.

Today is a Good Day

It is only 10:00am and I know today is going to be a good day. Why you ask?
Because the garbage men picked up all my trash without me having to bribe them with beer.
Score one for Tuesday.

Sweet Revenge

If there is such a thing as karma (and I believe there is) someone is getting t o t a l l y soaked and blown away on their honeymoon right now.
Gooooooooooo Frank*!


Ok now veer off & don't hit poor Florida.


*Francis and I are friends, therefore I call him Frank.

September Already?

Really is is September already? Wow time goes so fast when you have kids. I am excited for fall though, even though it is a melancholy season for me. I get sad & depressed sometimes when I feel the crisp air chill my entire body and the air just has a sense of sadness to it. It is beautiful here with the leaves changing and the skyline peppered with vibrate colors, it just makes me sad sometimes.

I have these new panties that I am in love with. They are little boy shorts from Old Navy and they are so airy and light I could wear them all day. I wanted to post a picture of them, but I haven't figured that out yet.
Don't worry I will not wear them all day every day, but I will go there today & see if I can buy more.

Our first mortgage payment is due today. Blech. Already? Such a huge payment too.
Hey McGreevey, can you get your hand out of various men's pants long enough to do something about my property taxes? I mean $6500 is a little ridiculous for .27 of an acre. Plus that is cheap for NJ! You soul-less fucks.

Stuff......

One of my cats looks like she is going to emerge from under one of the beds! Way to go Phoebe, it has only been 3 weeks. Jeesh.

While getting my eyebrows waxed I was thinking "Hey I kinda like this pain, it doesn't hurt too much." Is that strange?

I love the new show "Growing up Gotti". I wonder why nobody is telling those boys that guido is out? Maybe because guido is always in when you are a Mafia family. I can't take the hair of the whole family though. Victoria enough of your hair extensions, and boys enough with the gel.

It is almost my 4th anniversary and I have no idea what to get E. Boys are so hard to get gifts for. There are always the standards: shirt, tie, watch, video games, suit ect, but I am bored with all of those & there is only so many watches a man can have. I think E has 4 or 5. Any ideas guys?
Now I am off to email him a picture of some ideas for me. This is the fun part.

Victoria's is Still Tops With Me

I got my sandals from Vicki's the other day. Ladies run don't walk to order these, they are like walking on clouds. I am in love. Now they are $5.99. How can you beat this shit?! You can't my friend.

My new Prada sunglasses have broken. What the fuck Prada? Why are you cracking on my ass? Now I am awaiting new replacement pair and I am sunglasses-less. It is summer. You can't go out & about without shades. Plus how will I hide the disappointment in my eyes before, during and after the wedding? I will be throwing out evil, stink and crook eyes all around and I would like to disguise such things.

I will be back with reports from hell, I mean the wedding. Pray for my ass.

Lurkers Unite

I get too many hits on this blog and a small amount of comments. So lurkers unite and delurk.
Leave a comment. I would love to hear from you.

Celebration

This is my 100th post! To celebrate I will do a 100 things list. Is there 100 things to write about? We will find out, here we go:

1. I have blue eyes
2. I love pasta & could eat it every day
3. I love Howard Stern
4. I miss my old job
5. I need a job, financially we are in the toilet
6. I hate cleaning toilets
7. I love to read
8. I would get into trouble for reading when I was young
9. well, I was supposed to be cleaning my room
10. I don't eat lamb
11. or pork
12. or veal
13. I can talk on the phone for hours
14. I miss my hometown
15. I get lonely easily
16. I have a fear of burglars
17. I ALWAYS think someone is breaking into my house
18. I have a dog
19. I have 2 cats
20. One cat is still under a bed after moving here almost 2 weeks ago
21. Poor baby
22. I have never been camping
23. E loves it and always goes
24. I hate Will Smith
25. and Jada smith
26. I fall asleep to Who's the Boss every night
27. My inlaws are on my shit list right now
28. They think it is still 1950
29. and I should serve my husband 24/7
30. I like reality TV
31. I saw the cast of Real World Philly
32. Philly cheesesteaks are overrated.
33. I love to cook
34. Especially in Winter
35. I hope my children will always be happy & healthy
36. I have Light brown hair
37. I am the tallest of all my friends
38. I am not that tall though
39. I am 5'7
40. I like guys with brown hair
41. I hate guidos
42. I hate people who hang out with guidos
43. I am getting pressured into buying a minivan
44. I hate minivans
45. I am not a minivan person
46. E told me that his money would never purchase a minivan
47. I agree
48. I miss going to Cape Cod
49. On my honeymoon we went to St. Lucia
50. The most beautiful island I had ever seen
51. We would love to go back
52. Maybe next year
53. I graduated high school with my brother in law
54. I didn't like him then
55. I barely do now
56. I met E at work
57. He had me head over heels in 3 dates
58. My nails never grow
59. I hate that
60. I am getting baby fever again
61. I wont have another baby until these two are potty trained
62. How do you potty train?
63. I like funny guys
64. I hate cocky guys
66. There is no 65
67. I can't wait for last comic standing 3
68. I loved the old Degrassi High shows
69. I love tylenol PM
70. My favorite flower is tulips
71. In case you would like to send me some
72. If you have a dollar to spare click on Amazon Honor system over there ------>
73. All money goes to a college fund for my 4 year old brother & 6 year old sister in my Father's name
74. I would love you for it!
75. I love diners
76. We try to eat organic
77. I was once waiting for Chinese food and a cockroach was waiting with me
78. I left
79. I love Italian food
80. I wish I was taller
81. I am growing my hair long again
82. I love the scar on my right foot
83. My T shirt I wear to bed is constantly falling off one shoulder ala flashdancer
84. I hate wearing G strings to bed
85. I like boy cut panties
86. I was so into the club scene in NY in the 90s, Limelight, Club USA, palladium
87. I never did drugs
88. Ok, once
89. Ok more then once, but just 1 drug and only twice
90. We have a beermeister in our house
91. It could be the only reason we bought the house
92. E loves beer
93. I love flirtinis
94. I need a new computer
95. I have to redo 2 bathrooms
96. I would rather have a guy bring me a bunch of daisy's then roses. Roses takes no thought.
97. I love my neck kissed
98. I like my breasts
99. I can't believe I thought of 100 things!
100. I love this blog and the new friends I have made from it

I love Gary

I love Gary Gulman and so does Drama Queen. Go click on the I heart Gary Gulman tag over there ---->

Anonymous

I never told anyone in my "real life" about this blog. I never wanted anyone I knew to read it. I started it just for me, something cathartic for myself. I think I have been outed though.
I think someone I know found it.

My first instinct was to erase it. Leave, skip town with no forwarding address.
I am not sure though. This is going to take some thought.

Unpacking

I hate it.
End of story.

Dream

I had a dream last night that involved "the good husband". Him and his blog.
Very interesting. I wonder what it means?

Anyone want a dog?

Why does my dog insist on licking herself and bathing herself between the hours of 2-4am? It is the most annoying thing in the world. Plus when we yell at her we have to do it at least twice before she stops.
Sure groom yourself, but biting your nails and the incessant licking has got to stop in the wee hours of the morn.

The worst thing I ever did in my life was give Baby B a pacifier. I hate it. The pacifier is a spawn of the devil. He decided "hey, I am going to trick people in the meanest way I could. I will give them something to make their new child stop fussing and crying. The baby will be a great baby and they will lead themselves into a false sense of proper parenting. But one day they will have to take it away from the cute baby and then they will really see what cryign and screaming is, and it will last for weeks on end. Haaahhaaaaa."
It is a genius plan on the part of the devil.

I will wait until she is a little older and reason with her, perhaps take her to Disney or Sesame place and have her give the evil instrument of Satan to Elmo or Mickey. Or maybe she will graduate college with it in her mouth still.
We will be so proud!

Depressed

E thinks I am depressed. Clinically depressed.
He confronted me last night. He said I had all the symptoms, that he had even verified it with his doctors.
I denied it, I said I was just tired, I was stressed, it was just a bad time, but then I looked at his face. It was filled with sadness and love. I couldn't deny it anymore.
Then I cried.

I went on the computer and looked up "signs of depression". I just stared at the screen, I didn't even blink.
I had most of the symptoms.

I guess I haven't dealt with my Father's death completely & in a healthy way. I don't want to hurt my family any more.
I will find a doctor today & get help. Help I cannot give myself even though I have tried.
Tried so hard.
I am just to tired to try anymore.

Time,Time,Time see What You've Done to Him

I am completely out of the loop. Since when did Carson Daly retire from TRL?

Oh Governor McGreevey, you silly little imp, your life is playing out like a bad Turkish prison movie. Funny stuff. Hey, Thanks for fixing the DMV lines. Now go make babies with the head of homeland security.

We still are not adjusted to our new house. Lots of stuff to fix and I still can't sleep here well. Tylenol PM is still in the routine. The babies aren't sleeping well here either and who can blame them. A very strange place, much bigger then where they were used to. I hope they get back to their routines soon.
Unpacking is the worst. I hate it. I just want it all put away but I don't want to have to do it.

Today is Friday the 13th. Whoooooooooo. I am not very superstitious about things like that. I have never had any reason to be I guess. Do you guys throw salt over your shoulder, go around ladders or avoid black cats?

What we were missing.

Finally. Krispy Kreme just announced they will have a new donut flavored frosty beverage.
Thank god.
I mean, what kind of world is it if we don't have donut flavored drinks?
Chewing food is so highly overrated.

It seems Tom Cruise and Jamie Fox are more in love then even John Kerry and John Edwards are.
Very interesting.

I actually hate Tom Cruise and I don't see his appeal at all. I hate many stars. here is my list of people I avoid watching or listening to at all costs:
Jennifer Lopez
Ryan Seacrest
Usher
Woody Allen

Quote

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." ~ George W. Bush, 5 August 2004

Uncle L

LL Cool J was on the Today show this morning. All I can say is wow.
Ladies, he took his shirt off! He has the best body I have ever seen.
I need to have sex with him. Just once.

I am even more in love with Gary Golman after last nights show. He is funny & hot. A potent cocktail.

Baby A has finally stopped saying "cock" for car/truck, he now refers to them properly thank goodness.
Baby B has gotten into the tantrum stage of life. I hope it goes away soon because she has taken up hitting.

We are still not in the house yet, we will be come Tuesday though that is when the movers are coming. I am both nervous and excited. I am sure it will feel more like home once our stuff is there.
I am thinking about getting a part time job. I am wondering what to do though. What do all the ladies with kids out there do? I am open for anything. It is time though, that my life have something in it besides just my husband and kids.

Nothing exciting planned for the weekend, just moving stuff over to the house & finish up some projects there before the movers come.
Who knows though, maybe I will meet LL and have mad passionate sex.

27 Rules for being a Republican

• 1) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for your "recovery."
• 2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
• 3) You have to believe that the US should get out of the UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
• 4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.
• 5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.
• 6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
• 7) "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
• 8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.
• 9) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.
• 10) You hate the ALCU for representing convicted felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
• 11) You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.
• 12) You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.
• 13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
• 14) You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.
• 15) You have to believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMOs and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.
• 16) You have to believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is socialism personified.
• 17) You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science", but Creationism should be taught in schools.
• 18) You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.
• 19) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
• 20) You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, which includes banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
• 21) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter".
• 22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.
• 23) You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.
• 24) You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant".
• 25) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.
• 26) You believe that what’s good for you is good for the world (even if it’s not good for the world).
• 27) You believe that politics are about winning and losing, and not about serving The People.

Which One?

Amanda's comment made me thing. What is the best kind of sex?
Make up sex? Pissed off sex? Loving, nurturing sex? Passionate, rip your clothes off sex? Conjugal visit sex? One night stand sex?

Do you?

Does anyone miss me?
I miss you little cookiepusses.

After all the grunt work is done in the new house, I will be back.

Must.......get..money.......
house......bleeding.......us dry.
......poverty has...................................decended.

homeowner = empty pockets