Mama Cub

I always tell E that he better make good money because our kids will never leave this house. I tell him that they will never be allowed to attend sleepovers and play dates and all of those have to happen at our house. So we better stock up on food, drinks and pool tables.
I say those things to E half kidding, half truthfully.

The truth is: I am scared to let my kids go to other people's homes because I fear everyone to be a pedophile.
You hear the stories on TV, the missing girls, the priests, the kids who fall through the cracks and nobody sees the warning signs. You watch Oprah.
You hear the neighbors, the parents say "I never thought he could be a molester... he was so nice...he was friendly and helpful...a family man and on and on.
Of course what you see on TV isn't a complete representation of the public and doesn't mean every child is being molested by their neighbor, but so many are, and just how many are never, ever reported?

R asked to go over the neighbor's house yesterday to play with the 9 year old girl who lives there. I have no problem with them playing in our backyards where I can see or hear them, but I don't want them in the house.
"What if they go in the house?" I asked E who rolled his eyes at my- his words- overreacting.
Am I overreacting? Isn't it my entire job to protect those children at all costs? If I fail them....well, I cannot even think about that because it is not an option. I will NOT fail them.


I have had talks about their body and how nobody has the right to touch them. I told them that if grownups ask them to keep secrets from their parents then those are bad people and they should and can tell us everything.


How much is too much? When a parent asked if R or L can come over for a play date, what do I say?
"I prefer if all play dates are at our home" sounds pretentious and "I am scared your husband or father is a molester" may be a bit too much.

I wonder if there is such a thing as too cautious or too protective and I am not just talking about helicopter parenting.

I want to know what it is other parents do.
Do you allow your kids to go over close friends homes that you trust? Do you educate your kids and let them go and be kids? What about school friends and neighbors that you don't know much about?

Highlight Yourself

There is something to be said about a quick visit fo the salon for a touch up of your highlights.
It rejuvenates you, makes you feel like a real person again, a person worth the touch ups to your roots.
I think the problem with Mothers is that we forget that sometimes, and are judgemental of the woman who do not forget it. The woman who schedule massages, pedicures, monthly facials and a blow out.
Maybe we are envious of the money they seem to have. Maybe we are envious of the time they spend on themselves. "Time that should be spent with their children" you tell yourself.

Yes, money and time are tight for many people, including myself.
Make yourself a priority, make yourself feel pretty, or sexy or happy. If you do, I swear your family will feel it too. You can't be a good mother without your "Me" time, your rejuvination.
So do without the Starbucks once a week or forgo the trip to Wendy's with your children and go get yourself a $10 manicure. Maybe splurge for the $5 chair massage afterwards.
You will thank me.

And it is SOO worth it.



* this picture taken with no makeup on and maybe I forgot to moisturize my skin today also. No judgements!

A Girl And Her Fashion

I have been noticing some American Apparel ads on some of the blogs I frequent and really I cannot believe what I am seeing. Perhaps I am out of the fashion loop because I am a mom and I do live in NH now where the state uniform seems to be a beard and overalls.
And don't get me started on the men.

Maybe I have been away from NYC for too long because this cannot be what is "in"


Just what every 2 year old needs, sparkly leggings! This is a must have for the playground set. Bonus! You will never lose your child in the park again, when the sun hits these bad boys You will be stricken blind and as dusk approaches you can get your child and go home.
Plus! With diapers there is no camel toe embarrassments. Hear that Celine Dion? Wear Depends.



Yes, please can I have the same seersucker gingham bloomers as my 13 month old?



I was just watching Girls Just Wanna Have Fun this morning and was wondering where Sarah Jessica Parker got her leotards! Also can be worn as Jennifer Beales for Halloween.



Stop! Hammer Time!
Really?
The print is bad enough but hammer pants?
Really?


So Kathy Ireland! If the metallic print wasn't enough I can just picture one of my kids unzipping me at the beach. So not right.
Unless you are servicing senators in your high priced hotel room. If that is the case buy 2!

I couldn't even check on the maternity clothes. Scary!
I may be getting old but I can't imagine buying anything from this company except plain white Ts (what a great band name!)

Ladybug Love

One fall day after we had just moved into our house in NJ, I decided to plop down on the couch while the twins were napping and watch TV. I don't remember the program that was on when I turned on the television but they were talking about loved ones that had passed away and how they were sending signs to them.
Lights on when they hadn't put them on.
Finding pennies where ever they go.
One story was about seeing ladybugs.

I thought that I would like a sign from my Dad, that he was okay or that he was with me. I hadn't had any and really, I know this is stupid, but I felt let down.

So I decided to test this theory. If my dad wanted to let me know he was with me, then I will see a ladybug right now I said to myself.

So, off I went into the family room because there were big windows there and if I was going to see a ladybug that was where I thought one would be. I looked on my plants, on the window, on the bar- and nothing.


Again I felt so let down. Why couldn't I get a sign?
I heard a car door slam and went to the front door to let E in, and as I did I saw 1 perfect ladybug on my exterior door. I put out my finger and let it crawl onto me. I couldn't believe it but surely it had to be a coincidence.
I opened up the screen door to let E in and I looked down.
The doormat that was there when we bought the house had ladybugs on it.
I had never noticed before.

The earrings I got for Christmas that year were ladybugs, the wind chime my step mother bought for my house has a ladybug on it.
They seem to pop up everywhere.


Now, every once in awhile I see ladybugs in strange places and strange times of the year, when you really don't see ladybugs. When we moved into this house the first thing I noticed was that there is always ladybugs in the master bathroom.
Now when my kids see them, they just say "Hi Grandpa! Mom, Grandpa is checking on you!" and I laugh because I love it.

Could it all just be a stupid coincidence? Sure.
Does the universe work in such a way, do people die and actually "go to heaven" where they send things to people they love and signs? Probably not.
I will never truly know the answer but I do know that I chose to believe I have some force out there and that it is looking out for me and maybe, just maybe, sending some love.

More Me Time!

We know how little time we have being moms. I know just to get something little done for myself like painting my nails or reading a book I have to jump through a bunch of hoops. Just getting a shower is a luxury!

Frigidaire, is unveiling 250 new appliances designed with specific time-saving features to give you more time for YOUR time.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that research shows that Moms are logging more overtime than most Americans. In fact, Frigidaire's recently released "Motherload Index" revealed that moms spend most of their waking lives - 200 hours each month - doing the activities they least enjoy rather than the things they love.

With their new line of appliances, Frigidaire is aiming to free up some newfound "me time" for Moms and they want to know what you'll do with it! By visiting Frigidaire.com, you can share the five things that you would do with an extra hour in your day for a chance to win an entire suite of the new time-saving Frigidaire appliances!

Go to Frigidaire and answer the question: How would you use an extra hour for a chance to win!

The Latest

Scroll down to the bottom of the last post to see my great reviews and giveaways I am having this month. They are SO fantastic, I wish I could give them to all of my readers.
Plus I have more coming soon, so bookmark my other blogs please!

Also, have you read about my BIG news? Yes, I am a big deal around here.

We Pump Fists Not Gas!

When I moved to NH the first thing I did was look up a Moms group. Luckily my husband's cousin's neighbor RUNS the moms group in our town. I have been faithfully attending for almost 3 months now and I love them.
I finally found some moms who are willing to be my friend and have actual conversations with me and invite me places. In NJ I lived an hour away from my friends so I didn't have that as an adult with children.

They are sweet and helpful and like my kids and I like theirs. It has been wonderful.

It makes the transition so much easier for me.
Although I still hate driving 8 miles to Target and 6 to the grocery store when I drove 1 mile for everythingyoucouldeverwantincludingactualrestaurantsthatarenotchainrestaurants.
THAT takes some getting used to.
Want a cake but forgot eggs at the store? You are shit out of luck because I am too lazy to drive 6 miles for eggs.

E still puts gas in my car because I refuse to learn.
Passive aggressive much?

Now I am off to go get ready for the Real Housewives of NY reunion and the premier of real Housewives of NJ, which my friends and I have been dying to see for months.
Don't even get me started on the stereotypes of NJ and all everyone thinks of NJ is mafia and Italians because that is all the media portrays.
Not that there isn't Mafia and Italians all over the joint, but hey, we have such kick ass restaurants a girl cannot complain.
So, watch tonight so we can discuss!
Jerzey Rulez!



Edit: I have so many great giveaways going on right now on my other blogs:
You can win a set of 5 books, perfect summer reading!

What about a luxe, organic 3 piece crib/toddler bedding set?

Lastly I have a great set of eco-friendly water bottles to give to 2 winners.

Shade Of Grey

When I was younger people always told me I looked like my Dad, my sister was the one who looked like my mom. As I got older I would tell her "Look! You gave me your bad eyesight or my asthsma is from your side of the family!"
She would always reply "maybe, but who gave you your beautiful blue eyes and thick hair, people would kill for your hair!"

And I would walk off. Mad. Because, people, she also gave me her premature grey hair!

Now that I am older, once in awhile I will catch myself in the mirror and see a flash of my mother, were I alone once stood.

My hands are my mother's hands.

My beef stroganoff is my moms.

My love for reading is something that my mom fostered in me.

How to change a diaper, care for a sick baby and french braid hair is all from my mom.
That alone gives her a pass for the grey hair.


Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are moms or have moms.


This post was written for all of the moms in the world and for Parent Bloggers Network and http://www.ebay.com/celebritymoms.

Its A Man's World And We Just Try To Defy Gravity In It

I know what my husband meant when he said those words that shall not be spoken again, that I wrote about in my last post. He was saying I have not had the burden of being the sole breadwinner in this family.
I get it.

I am sure it must be stressful because thinking about money and how little of it we have especially after the last year kicked our asses, is something I worry about every single day as well. You know what I say to that? Welcome to being a man.
Be glad that on top of that stress you don't have to add cramps, gynecological exams and trying to not spend your Kid's college tuition on pads, tampons, under eye concealer and bras.
I say it again, if you have any doubt it is a man's world just look at the price of a bra.
Then look at the price of a good bra because you need a good bra for support because after what being pregnant did to your body, you need every advantage you can get and gravity, she is a bitch.

If that isn't enough for you we can talk about sex and how much you want it..........





*edit* I know my header is no longer workign Jen from Trendy Mommy is helping me out with that.
In honor of Mothers day and all of you, my great readers, I have a mother's day giveway for you. Three winners will win a 5 book set of aweome books, perfect for summer reading! Go here to enter!

Husband Faux Pas #849578

Ladies, are you tired from a long week?
Do you need a large cocktail and a space to vent? Well, today is your lucky day.
I have had a long, stressful week myself, the pinnacle of which was when someone googled "grandma boobs" and got my blog.
The hell?

For the record, I do NOT have grandma boobs.
Yet.

Then yesterday during a frank email conversation with my husband he says......are you ready......please take a seat this is a doozie..he says "At least you haven't had to work the last six years".
Ahem.


Ooohhhhhh yeah, he did.
I can't believe I am so tired from this 6 year vacation, I wonder why?

My gift to you ladies, is let him have it, go on...I will make sure he reads every single one of them. Even though our communication halted when those words were uttered.

There's A Fungus Among Us

When we moved into this house it already had all the appliances.
Old appliances.
Original-to-the-house old.
My appliances were new(er) so when we sold our house I took off the appliances on the listing and we brought them with us.
Now the way the kitchen is set here is a little out of the norm and where the refrigerator is, there was not enough room for my larger refrigerator from N.J. and we need our big fridge because we eat a lot.

There was a built in desk in the kitchen that I knew I would never use. So, I asked E to off it and rip that sucker out because I just knew my fridge would look perfect there. Do I need to tell you how right I was about that decision?

So, now we live with a kitchen that has two refrigerators in it. We are going to keep the one that came with the house because it is fairly new, and again, we eat a lot of food, so we were going to eventually move in into the garage once we knew what to do with the hole it would leave in the kitchen.
I don't use this fridge very much except to store some extra frozen meat, but when I opened it today to see what I had in there, I noticed it: mold.
Mold in my freezer!
Who even knew that could happen? Aren't freezer supposed to be cold enough to not let mold grow? I am so disgusted I cannot tell you.
Now added to my to-do-list for today is scrubbing down a freezer.

And yes, you waited for days for this most riveting post.

Favorite Things

Something about the first days of spring mack me melancholy (see my sidebar). I reminisce a lot those first warm days, so today I thought I would share some of my favorite things growing up with you:

Freezy Freaky gloves- you remember the kind that when the temperature was low enough a "surprise" design would show up on them. My sister and I would just cheat and put our gloves in the freezer.

Pop rocks, next to candy cigarettes, best candy ever.

Vidal Sassoon jeans-you were nobody in 5th grade if you didn't have Vidal Sassoon jeans or Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.

Roos sneakers. They rocked because they had a pocket on the side of the shoe. I always put coins in mine for the ice cream lady. You don't want to be the one with no coins when the ice cream lady rolls up on you.

Pink roll on deodorant. I begged my mom for this deodorant way before I needed it because it looked so cool. Everyone should have a pink ball roll on deodorant.

Fruit stripes gum- this gum was delicious for 5 seconds then the taste all went away and it was like chewing rubber cement. Still good times.

Passing notes in class- was it the notes that were fascinating or was it the thrill of getting caught by the teacher? Rate these boys, who would you rather kiss and who is actually wearing a bra to school were popular subjects. Not to be confused with the cheating note, that just had answers on it, tucked under your skirt so all you had to do was look down and flip your skirt hem up a tad.

Saturday morning cartoons- having cartoons on only Saturday mornings and occasionally after school made them special.

Clogs- They were dangerous and made of wood, but I loved mine.

Ditto sheets- hot off the press by your teacher while you were in gym class

Chad Allen- He was my crush. Remember him from Our House with I-pronounce-diabetes-wrong- Wilfred Brimely & Shannon Dougherty?

Wigwam socks- Expensive, thick, bulky socks to be work mostly with keds with NO laces.

Small Wonder- Does anyone remember this show? A man made a robot and had her live with his family & told everyone she was their daughter? Such a strange and fascinating premise.

Big neon colored hair clips with splatter paint on them- preferably worn on the side of your head. Very cool.

I want to hear your favorites from your past and read the comments because I know your comments are going to make me remember some more great things that I loved.


P.S. I have a great review and giveaway going on over here. wink, wink.

Weekly Goals

I am gearing up for having the kids home all week for spring break. This break happens to coincide with baby K having a breakdown which includes being glued to my side for every hour he is awake and even some when he is sleeping. He doesn't want to be apart and I love it, to a point.
That point is pooping. Nobody should have to poop with someone sitting on them.
Not even Fidel Castro. I beleive he deserves to poop alone.
It is distracting and just wrong on many, many levels.

This spring break just makes me more excited to look into a summer camp for them. Something at least 3 hours a day, 3 days a week sounds awesome to me.

*********

I can't believe how much junk we have moved with us to NH. We have junk everywhere. We have a four car garage with 1 car in it, because the rest of the space is taken up by junk.
My kids have as much "stuff" as we do despite my throwing away, donating and selling some of it. It is amazing to me how many toys they really have and how they never play with them.
Never.
There are toy boxes filled with toys that are never opened.
Don't get me started on the clothes.
Bins and bins of clothes old and new (to us) are stacked in my garage and closets.
My goal this week besides trying to stay sane, is bringing various toys and clothing to Goodwill. Someone will love it.

Tell me your goals for this week. If it involves sending me alcohol and/or Chick-fil-a sandwiches, bonus points for you!

What Happens In The Tub, Stays In The Tub

This is the scene I awoke to in my bathroom this morning. So many questions:

When did it become acceptable to swim without bathing suits?
where is the silver surfer's surf board? Shouldn't he be needing it, being that he was in the water and all.
Where does hello Kitty fit into this partay?
Why do my parties never end up looking like this much fun?
Why are all the superheroes face down but the Belle and Pocahontas face up? Is this some sort of signal?
Lastly and most importantly, who the hell is going to clean up this mess?

From E

Hi Everyone,

This is the Infamous E guest posting on Tuesday's blog. You're probably familiar with me and hopefully most of what you know is positive. Anyway, let me start by wishing Tuesday a Happy Birthday again from yesterday. We went out last night an had a great dinner with the kids at a nice seafood place. Tuesday was in great spirits and she looked beautiful, especially with her new scarf adorned around her awesome hair.

Tuesday has been adapting to life here in New Hampshire amazingly well and I am so proud of all the strides she has made in just two short months. As you are probably aware, she did not want to move here, but even with all of her reservations, she took a leap of faith with me... again and came here to have a better life. New Jersey kind of beat the crap out of us over the last few years and once I lost my job, it became impossible for us to stay. Thank you Tuesday for believing in me.

Tuesday is the best wife and mother a guy could ask for and I am grateful to have her in my life. I don't know how she takes care of our three kids everyday and I don't know how she did it for the six months I was commuting here every week, but somehow she did it... as I knew she would. She has made my kids the best behaved, well mannered, caring, funny and sweetest kids ever. Thank you Tuesday.

Tuesday really pours a lot of herself into this blog and allows you to see many things about her that I don't even know about. Thank you for following her and giving her good advice when she needs it. I look forward to guest posting again someday and maybe I'll let you in on some real dirt about Tuesday, but today I just wanted to say... I love you Tuesday.

A Girl and Her Roosters

My boys have the rooster gene and worse then that, they are terrible sleepers in general including E.

While I was taking care of three kids alone in NJ whilst E was off doing something far less superior, like starting a new career so we wouldn't be homeless, I had the pleasure of putting baby K to sleep for every nap, and bedtime 5-6 days a week.
He was terrible.
Dudes, there were nights when I would just sit in the rocking chair holding him and cry because he wouldn't let me put him down.
There were nights that I spent 3 hours putting him to bed only to have him wake up 4 hours later and want to hang out.
I would let him "cry himself to sleep" for 40 minutes before I couldn't take one more second of it.
I have never been so stressed out in all of my life.
There was no one to hand him off to, nobody else to try their hand at it and nobody to bring me a goblet of wine so I could cry into it. Then drink it in one big gulp.

I would do the worst thing that any parent could do: I would give up and let him sleep with me. I know that is just what he wanted and he just played me like a fiddle to get what he wanted.
I know he didn't need to sleep with me to sleep. I know all of this but I had to get some sleep, I was the only one taking care of these 3 little ones during the day, I needed to get some sleep. It is bad enough my BOYS get up no later than 6:30am 95% of the time.
No matter what time they go to bed, they are roosters.

I remember my father telling me a story once of a pediatrician whose sister had trouble with getting her baby to sleep. She told her she had to let her baby cry it out and in 3 magical days all her problems will be solved. On the second day the baby cried so long the mother wanted to go get her but her sister, the pediatrician, blocked the door.
So, she got a knife and told her to get out of the way.
The End.


Here we are at twelve months and he still doesn't sleep through the night every night. He still has troubles with us putting him to sleep no matter how tired he is.
Truthfully? As I am writing this post I am pushing him in his stroller with my foot.
Talk about multi-tasking.


I hesitated writing about this at all and haven't because please I parented twins and survived, this should be cake, how does a mother of 3 not know how to get her kid to sleep?
At this point I am at my wits end. I know separation anxiety has something to do with it and I know some of it is just habit.
I just don't know where to go from here.
And no, yelling "your stupid, F-ing rooster sperms!" at E does not help at all either.
I tried.
Repeatedly.

To Be Saved

When we went back to New Jersey last weekend we were in our driveway putting our boxes of junk into the trailer. I noticed my old friends passed by on the sidewalk in front of our house.
They were my LDS friends that visited me every so often on a Saturday so they could save my soul.

I was always nice to them, I can imagine people's reactions to them on their doorstep. People probably slammed their door in their faces every day.
Pamphlets with Jesus' face on the cover scattered in the streets sometimes, leftovers from when people didn't open their doors to them.
I was fascinated. Mormons/LDS is intriguing to me, I assume because there are few Mormon churches in NJ coupled with my adoration for the show Big Love (how great is Big Love?).

Truth is, I don't think I believe in religion anymore. What little faith I did have was lost when my father died.
I don't want to go to church, I don't want to pray to someone only when my times are tough and I don't want to be a hypocrite to my children.


The last time I saw my visitors I explained that I was moving in a couple of weeks. They wished me well and went on their way. In some way I wished I had more time with them. I do not want to become a Mormon, or a Buddhist or a baptist for that matter, I just wanted to understand how they could be so devoted.
How they could wrap their minds around the tragedies all around us, every single day and still believe.
I want to know why they care enough to walk around the streets in the winter to knock on people's doors to try and save a perfect strangers soul.
I want to ask them just what is so great about religion anyway? Religion is the cause of wars!

I will miss my weekend visits with my Mormon friends.
Or maybe, just maybe, I just wanted to be saved.

Can't Wait For The Spring

It has been one of those weeks.
The baby is whiny and clingy. His molar will not break through and it hurts him so much I just want to kiss his little red, swollen gums.

The twins were both a little sick and now L has that cough that will never end. I feel bad for him but sometimes you just want to yell "Stop that blasted coughing!"
I doubt that would make him feel better but it would make me feel better.

We had to go back to NJ and pick up the rest of our stuff and say goodbye to the house and neighborhood that we love. It was hard (made a little easier by a quick stop with the trailer to Wegmans!)

E is working and working and working away. He has been so busy with his new career and it is paying off. The business will even be featured on a TV show to air soon! More details to follow, I promise.
The work is good and in this economy to have any work is a blessing but I am still finding my footing here and sometimes without him all day and night, I get lonely and feel a little lost.
I am sure this will only get better now that spring is coming. I need some tulips to lighten my mood!

I have lots of plans for this spring. I am planing a huge garden, I want to plant flowers, I want to get some chickens (chickens! how fun is that?!).

Tell me what plans do you have for spring or what makes you feel better today?

I am Just Not That Into Her

I am new all over again.
Like a new baby but taller. And with thicker hair.
I have reinvented myself here in NH, because I can.

So, now the new Tuesday Girl goes to playgroups and gets outside her comfort zone with attendance at playgroups and even (gasp) hosts playgroups.
I am proud of myself.
You should be too.
You can say so in your comments.

In my playgroup there is a new-to-me mom. She has a child in between my children's ages. She seems very nice and we chatted a bit. When the playgroups was almost over and I was saying my goodbyes, another woman tried to set this lady and I on a mom date.
A hit and run set up!
She lives close to me and it would be convenient and nice to have a close friend, but I hesitated when she told us to exchange numbers. I was being set up and the worst part is: she just isn't my type.

You know that line, you have heard it from guys mouths a million times (not about you, about other girls I am sure. Now I know what they are talking about.
We just didn't have chemistry. I wouldn't put on my new pair of jeans for her, I would show up for coffee in yoga pants. I would clean the bathroom but not mop the floors for her, you know what I mean.
It's not her.....it's me.

Now, I do not want to fall back into my bad habits of not having friends in my town, but if I meet with her again and we don't hit it off, can I then just make her a auxiliary friend?
I have found great friend material out there and lets face it, there is so much territory left untouched, do I waste my time or do we move on after the first date?

I want to hear from moms who are used to making other mom friends like this, I want to hear what you men have to say. Tell me what to do because, honestly?
I am just not that into her.

Hello, Goodbye

Have I even told you guys that we have an idiot, dufus realtor? Because if I didn't tell you guys about him, I am sorry that is A LOT of blog fodder you missed out on, because he is such a douche, it is almost laughable.
Almost.

He was stupid fromt he start but (my fault) I didn't know when I signed with him I was locked in selling with him for 6 months. Of course our house sold 10 days shy of when his 6 months were up and I was just about to kick him to the curb and oh! how I wanted to kick him to the curb.
Curiously he just started showing interest in selling our goddamn house 2 weeks before the 6 months were up. Hmmm.
He was lazy, incompetent, didn't do the simple things we asked him to do to get this house sold and it was a wonder he stayed in business at all.

Now he tells us TODAY, our closing is April 2. We still have freaking boxes in NJ. Now we have to haul ass to NJ this weekend to get it before the closing.
He also asked us for our alarm code for the buyers.
WHY would I give you my alarm code for a house you don't own yet that has all of my stuff in it?
Activate the alarm in your own damn name and get your own code.

I can't wait until this house is sold and we don't have to deal with him ever again.
Then I will let his boss know how much he suckssssss*.

Now I have to go and say goodbye to our house all over again.
I just hope there is less crying this time around.



*The day we were moving he came to take the For Sale sign off of our lawn and I did tell him to shove it up his ass, but I said it from the front door and he was in the road so I am not sure he heard me, so just for good measure I will tell him again.

One

My dearest baby boy,
Today you are one year old. Actually as I type this, one year ago exactly they had taken you out from inside my body. You were stubborn, you didn't want to be born when we thought you should be born, you had to be yanked out.
I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by.
You are walking now, running even! You have the bluest eyes I have ever seen and a dimple when you smile so big. You love your father so much, I guess that is what happens when for six months of your life you only see him for 1 1/2 days a week. You love your big brother and sister and your favorite time of the day is waiting to see them get off the bus.

You have nine teeth now, with three more molars trying to break through your swollen little gums. I just want to kiss those gums and make you feel better but I can't. It is a good lesson to learn at one, everything that is worth something takes time and sometimes you have to go through a lot of pain to get them, but when it comes, it is glorious.

We moved you to a new house last month and this will be the only "home" memory you will have. That both makes me sad and happy at once.
I will share the memories of the house I brought you home to, paced the floors at all hours of the night when you didn't want to sleep, the carpet you crawled on the first time.
I will share how you brought your father and me closer than ever before. How the whole family is closer, and you are our glue. We love you so very much.
You are our boy with the blueberry eyes.

Love forever,
Mommy

What A Difference A New State Can Make

There are a few differences in living in New Jersey and living in New Hampshire.
Let me outline a few for you:

- 75% of the men over 40 look like they have just returned from the sea.
They all resemble the Gordon's fisherman and look and smell like salt water and a hard days night.

-70% of the women over 40 look like men.
Perhaps it is all the clothes they have to wear just to keep warm. Perhaps warmth trumps fashion everyday and they have just given up and decided to wear their husband's clothing. Hey look at me, I have no boons at all and you cannot tell I am a woman without a DNA test!
It is very recessionista of them!

-People stare at me all the time. I think it is really unusual and chose to believe they have never seen someone so beautiful before. It is probably because I have baby snot on me, but I chose to believe I am just H O T.

-No diversity. White people as far as the eye can see.
Boring.

-Even the Dunkin Donuts suck. The donuts are super soft and doughy. Blech.

- Water smells like metal. One day you are just taking a shower and wonder why your hands smell like metal, then you wonder why you are imagining yourself showering in blood, the whole bathroom smells like iron! Finally someone tells you (4 weeks too late) that you have to put salt pellets in your water system thingy, to get the minerals out of the water.
Super gross. Don't even get me started on the hard water stains on the shower floors and toilets!
Water here stinks, see dunkin donuts above.

I will end this post on a positive, the sky here is amazingly blue every single day and the night sky is also amazing. I cannot remember ever seeing so many stars.
Does it make up for never having a bagel again? Nope, but it will have to do.

Waxing

So there you are, a vlog of me showing the various teeth we have hidden in our drawers. Yes, I do have a stuffy nose as I have had every day since moving in this house. The previous owners had two big dogs and I am just keeping Kleenex and Claritan in business until we can get the vents cleaned.

I also am aware of the work needed on my eyebrows, there is no threading in NH so I have to go an alternate route which is okay. I would rather have threading but I kinda like the pain of hot wax with hair being ripped from my body.
It's the good pain, ya know? With the exception of the bikini area, that is really not good pain.
It is terrible pain, take it from me, but completely necessary.
I would rather 15 minutes of pain staring at a ceiling and doing poses that previously have only been done in my yoga class and some which E may or may not have begged to try out late night, with a older, round woman who barks orders and has her hands in the most intimate of areas and have to tip her after she just violated me 8 ways to Sunday, then have to worry about hair removal for the next 5-6 weeks.

Pretty much the best run on sentence eva.

So. Shall I do more Vlogs?

Just so you know, I will not ever vlog a waxing.

Finally I Tell You Just What Is In My Bedside Table

Happy

I cannot live without freinds anymore and yes, we are lucky because E's great family lives here in NH and happen to be super close by and that means free babysitters for the first time in like ever and maybe we will be able to see a movie or go out to eat sometime without wondering if the kids will like anything on the menu.
So I sucked it up and took one for the team and went to a playgroup yesterday without knowing a soul.
I was prepared to find something to blog about the playgroup and have something to laugh about with E when I got home, but then I rememebred I am trying to reinvent myself here and I am being super kind and non judgemental.
Bummer.

The ladies were so nice and helpful telling me about just what there is do around here once all the snow melts and I can actually see the grass.
So now I am one of those ladies who attend playgroups with her large brood and talk about where the best playgrounds are and what restaurants are good and complain about the lack of baby gyms in this entire state. (How dare you close the one Gymboree!)

I attend another meeting tomorrow where I will pay my annual fee and be an "active member" and feel just like an everyday mom. This is where I am in my life and I couldn't be happier and you know what? I so fucking deserve to be happy.

Picture Tour

The view from my living room window, which happens to be where my desk is right now. Swanky!


Obligatory "where the magic happens" picture


Baby K's room. Only the kid's rooms are decorated and done so far.




What my daughter thought was appropriate attire for a 20-something degree snow day



Photos are being unwrapped and put inot their rightful place



Snow, snow and more snow!


Little by little things are all coming together

The Spot

It is what gets you there.
It's the vavavoom.
It is your no-nonsense-no-backing-out-now-weak-in-the-knees "thing".
You know what it is but you never let a new partner know.
"He will figure it out on his own, and if he doesn't maybe he isn't right for me" you tell yourself.

And when he finds it on his own, it is fantastic. But, if he visits often, it is not good. "Less is more" you remind him.

It gets you hot, it keeps you hot, it is oh-so-very-hot.
Once E hits my spot, I want more, he can get me to say yes to anything, well almost anything.

I know you want to know, but don't make me share alone. My spot is the neck, slightly up from the nape and it is good.

Unpacking

When you move to a new place, it is hard the first couple of weeks, or in our case months, to live out of boxes. Trying to find what you are looking for.
Trying to remember where you packed what. Let's face it, it sucks

Our situation may prove to be more difficult.
Case in point, this was in a single box I had the pleasure of openeing yesterday that was generically labeled "kitchen":

5 different baby soaps

1 pink kitchen towel which is assumed to be clean because I can't add one more thing to my wash pile

various pieces of silverware

1 cordless phone base

4 tupperware lids, their mates are unknown

A precious moments statue I received for my high school graduation from my high school boyfriend

1 wine goblet

1 disposable spoon and 3 disposable knives

1 watch given to my husband by his girlfriend who is now his wife


So you can see, unpacking is going along swell.

Hey, remember when we talked about this? Well, go on over to my other site and enter to win a copy of a really great book I just reviewed.

A Life Given And One Restored

Having a baby again has awakened a part of me that sat dormant for years. Yes, I have two children who are now six and they have taken me to a whole new level of motherhood and parenting and just who are these people with their own thoughts and ideas?

The baby though, is so wonderful. He wants to touch everything. He wants to experience everything. It is so basic and raw I marvel at it.
I pick him up from his crib and although his eyes are barely open, he reaches for the bird on his wall. When I carry him around the house he stretches to touch the the sconces, the light switches, the loaf of bread on top of the refrigerator.
He wants to push the buttons on the phone, to sip from the cup I use.

He no longer wants to be a spectator at life, he wants to be a participant. He does not want to be in the walker, he wants to get out and push the walker, "look, he says, I am moving things with my own will, I can go places alone, I can put things where I want them! I am climbing the stairs like I have done in a hundred times, en though I have only been alive for 331 days, I am forging my own trail and the sky is the limit."

"Let me touch this mom" he says "I want to experience the sounds, the feeling, some things are soft and some things are cold, others are warm, I love to feel it all."
Everything is met with a serous look and then a smile. He is learning with every minute that passes, with everything he comes in contact with.

"I want to let you touch everything, little one." "I want to be the one to see your face when you see the snow for the first time, when you feel the bright green grass under your toes, when you experience what it is like to have sand slipping through your chubby fingers.
I want to life you high over my head just like in The Lion King and declare to the world This is my son and he is an amazing human being, he will change this world in so many ways and he will make it a better place. Then, I will whisper to you: this is your world, be kind to it and kindness will return to you, learn from it and never take it for granted, my love."

"I will be here when you feel the joy and sadness of your first love, I will be cheering for you when you hit your first home run, I will be loving you from a distance where ever this amazing life takes you."
"For now, little one, take my hand so I can steady you as you and I explore this wondrous world, it will not be long now when you don't need a steady hand any longer, but if you look behind you I will always be there to catch you."

Always.

I Am Going To Make It Through This Year If It Kills Me

I am sure many of you who have been reading this blog for the past few months are sick of my whining. I may have come off like I hate my life. I do not.
It has been a hard six months- the hardest thing I have ever done actually. Couple that with financial worries, selling our house (we finally had an offer but had to short sale the house because we had to lower the price so much we didn't want to owe money on a house we didn't own) having NO health insurance now that we moved to a new house in a new state and I think I am entitled to a bad month. Or two. Or four.

February is the worst month of the year for me. I get into my winter blues and can't seem to shake them. It would make a great time of year to go on vacation, if I had the means and this year I do not.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel though. E and I are living under one roof and shared parenting is such a treat. I seriously do not know how single parents do it. Do. Not. Know.
We can start to fix our credit that took a huge hit with E losing his job, and having to do the short sale of our house. We can make more money with E's new job but it will just take a year or two to see the financial rewards. My kids seem happy here.
We have gone down the dark roads, and now the sun has started to creep up on our horizon.

It will be good.

This has been my mantra for the past six months and will continue to be. I hope it can help you get through a hard day, month or year when you need it too:

My Journey

Goodbye New Jersey. The George Washington bridge fascinates me every time I drive on it. I never stop being amazed by it. I always remember what my father told me when I was learning to drive "Always take the upper level" not too profound but has given me lots of amazing views over the years.



Snow through Massachusetts




Not my exit so don't try to come and kill me. I will invite you over for tea if you are in the area though. You must bring bagels.





The view out of my master bath windows. It is beautiful



The view out of the front of the house




My street



Signs of civilization!

Love

This weekend is reserved to remind the people in my house what they mean to me.
Last year, this is what I had to say about Love.

Off Limits Blogging

There are some things I decided not to do when I started this blog a million years ago. I did not want to use our names, I do not want to post pictures of my kid's faces and that is about it.
Usually I will write about any subject: death, vibrators, trying to date a mom, but I really can't think of anything I will not write about on this blog.

What subject(s) will you never touch on your blogs and why? I am really excited to read your answers!

This One Exchange Explains A Lot

"Remember when you came home from elementary school and told me you would never trade your lunch with someone else because I made it?" my mom asked me.

"yes, in fact I would never trade my lunch or snack because I just pictured you in the morning making my sandwich and that you picked out what you wanted me to eat at the store, and Daddy works so hard to have money to buy the groceries, I always felt to guilty to trade my food with anyone"

"even if someone else had something better?"

"yes, just the thought would bring tears to my eyes."
"I also would never try drugs because I thought that what if I was that rare person who had a reaction and died right on the spot. I didn't want you and Daddy to think I was a drug user and nobody would be there to tell you, it was only one try!"

My mom: "that's a shame"

AND we Tipped Them On Top Of It

Okay, so I moved, it was hard and now I am somewhere new and blah, blah, blah. I am sure you are as sick of reading about my move as I am about writing.
Indulge me in one more story about my move that I think is hilarious and so very embarrassing.

E hired movers to move our stuff separately from the truck rental. They came on time and did a good job and everything was fine.
Until they came up to the master bedroom to take apart my dresser to move it. They took out the drawers and I left the room to find a bag or box to put my remaining clothes in it: my bras and underwear. By he time I came back, they drawers were gone, they had moved them with my bras and underwear in them. Embarrassing but not so bad.

Then they moved on to my side tables, again I was getting a box to put the two vibrators that were huge and colorful and did naughty things and was given to me at my bachlorette party and never used but ended up somewhere in the back of something until E decided just to throw them in my bedside table. The movers lifted the table, heard something rattle inside and opened the drawer, saw the vibrators and quickly shut it, while I died silently on the inside and crawled under my bed.

Don't even get me started on how I had E commandeer the tables before his uncle or cousins unpacked them and got the same peek.
Speaking of peeks, we have no blinds on any rooms in this house and although we are very secluded here, there are still cars that pass and I can see one house from my master bedroom, so I will accept your thank-yous NH for the free show.
Your welcome.

New Days

New Hampshire is pretty if you like the snow, which I usually like when it is falling and the stars are twinkling and everyone is cozy in the house with comfort foods and peaceful. In NJ the snow usually melts in a few days and everyone goes about their business. I can say with the amount of snow here in NH, I should be able to see the grass in May. It is pretty, when you don't have to shovel it.

The house is beautiful and E and his family have done so much to update it and make it nice for our family. The people so far have been friendly and I am getting to know the lay of the land a little bit. Everything is so spread out, it is hard to find things.
The kids like school so far, although R wanted to know why her new friend says "cah" instead of car.
That's my girl.

I have to download some pictures when I get a second and find the appropriate wires, which may in fact be days from now.
I have other, more pressing business right now like wonder why there are no toilet paper holders in any of the bathrooms and figure out what all of these light switches are for and also where could my dust busters be hiding because these crumbs all over this house are not going to clean themselves.

Snow, Snow, Snow

We made it to NH. Some of our stuff did not and E will have to go back for it in a couple of weeks. All of our junk just did not fit into the truck E rented and we had to leave it, so don't rob me while I am gone because I need L's clothes, My vacuum and my GPS plug.

I am slightly overwhelmed about what there is left to do, the size of the snow banks and about the size of the house I know have to keep. All good stuff though.; I will post a better update soon, I still do not have my computer hooked up yet, (is it even in NJ I wonder?) and I am at E's office trying to catch up on emails.


Oh yeah, and the kids and I have no boots and did I mention the amount of snow?
The End.

The Final Countdown

I am sentimental.
I save everything, I try to relive memories by holding on to things, even though I know it is "just stuff". the memories will be there even if the stuff is not.
I have gotten better over the last few years, but still have a ways to go.
I hate change.
I stiffen at the thought of new things, new places to live. Instead of thinking of it as a learning exercise, I reject it.
I know that new experiences are what let you grow. Somebody tell my heart that.
I will miss this house, the first we ever bought, the only one my children have known the the one I brought my baby home from the hospital to.
I will miss my dad, who I feel like I am abandoning, even though I know that is ridiculous.

***************************************

I loved growing up in New Jersey. I lived 15 minutes from NYC and I had the best of both worlds, living in the suburbs and partying in NYC. I love the Jersey shore, the mountains, the diners, the variety of amazing foods, the fact that no store is ever more than 15 minutes away.
Sure it is fun to joke about NJ and the big 80s hair, the accent, the Sopranos, but NJ is like your sibling, only you can make fun of it, when someone else does, watch out.
There are things I don't like about New Jersey like the congestion, the traffic, the high tolls and taxes.
I will miss you New Jersey, you were good to me, but I won't be that far away from you and I promise to visit often.
How else am I going to get a decent bagel?

Grandma

Things I am thinking about today:

Am I the only person who thinks it is strange that in about 30 years or so there are going to be A LOT of grandmas with fake boobs? There is just soemthing so wrong about a grandma with big, fake breasts and a old, wrinkled everything else.
Well, maybe not for grandpa.

Speaking of grandmas, once my grandmother was on a ladder and she asked me to hold the ladder. I walked over and looked up to see what she was doing and caught a glimse of her pubic hair.
So. Not. Good.
Something I try not to relive, but every once in awhile I remember.
Wowza.

Moving On Up

I really needed to hear a lecture on how to make my baby sleep through the night and how I should put him to sleep at night from a nurse practitioner at 9am this morning like I need a hole in my head.
Why must the nurse practitioner also decide that would be a good time to lecture me about vaccinations, when she didn't even look at my children's charts to see what schedule they are on?

Really, she shouldn't have messed with me so early in the morning, after I gave her the warning "look" and before I had any time to ingest coffee, shower or be alert. She got what she deserved. A lecture every time I step into that office from a different nurse is something I can't wait to live without.


This weekend was filled with a flurry of events, my children were invited to a bowling party, we packed and packed, and on Sunday they had a awesome party with their friends from school and another party with my family.
We said goodbye to my family and are prepared to move this weekend.
Deep breath, I am ready to move already.
It will be nice to live with my husband again, 5+ months is a long time with three kids.
I promise to document my move, either on video or with pictures.

Now, please say a prayer all of our stuff fits into the truck, sweet lord!

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

My baby has decided that child development experts are correct, 10 months is exactly the right age to form a separation anxiety.
He wouldn't let me put him down yesterday at all, he cried when he was in his high chair and I left the room, he cried when it was nap time, he cried when I went to the bathroom.
I basically sat on the living room floor all day while he sat on my lap. Occasionally he was adventurous and would crawl a few feet away, only to crawl back after a minute or two. It is the strangest thing.
Last night after THREE glorious hours of trying to put him to sleep only to have him wake up the second I put him down in his crib, I just let him sleep in the bed with me.
Three hours is my limit.

I have been a bad commenter lately, I know, but I am reading your blogs and I will be back in action after we move next week.
Hopefully I will document our move with pictures and/or video for you guys. I promise to show you the strange thing I have in my bed side table before I pack it too!


I can offer you this today, here is a picture of all of our garbage after Christmas:


next time we have people over for Christmas we must have them take their garbage home with them. This pile took over my garage.
Sorry Earth.

Love, Mom

Today my dear, sweet, first babies are six years old.
These past 30 days have been tough, really tough, but I stayed here for this, so they can have their birthday party at school and one this weekend for their friends.
They have had a big year, they gained a new brother, they started kindergarten, they have to move to a new home in a new state.
When I look at them now, I am starting to see big kids, not the babies they once were.
The baby fat from their cheeks have gone, their dimples on their hands have been replaced by knuckles. They build complex things with K'Nex, they draw things even I would not attempt. They are hungry for knowledge, they want to know about the plants, the continents and who lives on them, who, what, when, where and how and they want the answers now.


The other night snow had started to fall for the first time this winter and my kids rushed to the window. Their little faces were glistening from the street light, they were in heaven. "Mommy! It is so beautiful!"
They were so happy to see snow, they were just content to watch some snow fall from the sky.
I wondered at what age does the snow lose its amazement?
When do we start to see the snow as a nuisance rather than appreciate its beauty like when we were six?

R and L, I am always amazed by your beauty inside and out. You are wonderful people and I am grateful every day to be your mother. Thank you for making everything in my life brighter and showing me that everything, even snow falling, has beauty and grace.

I need a Weekend Do-Over

This weekend was supposed to be about reconnecting with my husband, a visit to say goodbye to my friends and packing, packing, packing.
Well, at least I got to see my friends (which was so much fun).

Yesterday at 6:15 am we both heard the baby crying. E went in to get him and I went to the bathroom. I heard a loud noise that sounded like it was the heat but MUCH louder. I went downstairs with E and the baby to find that a pipe had burst in our mudroom from the cold. Water was in the mudroom and the family room.
It was the indoor pool I had always wanted!
Fun times!

E tried all day, ALL DAY to fix the pipe, and it still is not fixed today. He would fix one crack only to have another sprout up. It was a harder project then he thought.
He gave u at 8pm and went to bed because, guess what? He has the FLU.
SO, not only do I have L with a fever and a cough, and baby K with a runny nose and a bad case of the cranks, I have E with the flu and now R has a cough and a fever.
I am on no sleep and it is a matter of time before I get sick too.
We still have no water, my house looks like a bomb hit it and I only packed 1/2 of a box this weekend.

I can only laugh about this because really, what else can go wrong?
And how was your weekend?

And The World Spins Madly On

Are you sick of my whining yet? This is not something I am writing so I can get sympathy comments, this is for my own catharsis.

My patience and my mental health have never been tested so much as it has been for the last few weeks. I feel like I am drowning and there is nobody on the shore to save me. I feel like just when I think one more thing cannot be added to my plate, something appears. This tooth pain and the fact I either have to pony up 3K to fix it or pull it, on top of three sick, kids all at different times and sometimes together is making me crazy.

The toll of being the only caregiver to these three children for the past four and a half months has set in. I feel like I cannot form thoughts, I am forgetful, I feel like I yell at the kids more often and I feel guilty for not having the time to spend with the baby like I did with R & L.
I feel fat and ugly.
I can't take care of myself, I am stress eating.

I have told E I am drowning but his response is "what can I do? Hang in there it is only a little longer".
I am worried this will not end when the moving truck comes, that these feelings, the rippling effect of my falling deep into the water, will continue.
And I will fall silently to the bottom.



Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Anti-Dentite

This weekend was so super awesome. I spent it writhing in pain over a tooth I had cracked a couple of months ago. Not wanting to put my family in any more financial dept and not having dental anymore, I chose to ignore it until I had the money to get it fixed.
It decided it wanted to be fixed now, because I cannot open my mouth more than a couple of inches and the pain is, well, terrible.
On a positive note: can't open mouth= crash diet!

So today I will be at an emergency dentist appointment while my neighbors watch baby K and my twins are in school. There goes the nap I scheduled at 3 am when K decided 2-4am would be a fun time to play!
Pray that I don't' get molested (did I ever tell you about my old dentist who was caught fondling women in the "chair'? If I get felt up, during ANY doctor's visit, I expect that visit to be free. Bottom line)

It is perfect timing though because it is delurking day. My hits to comment ratio is just not right, so I know you are there but I need more from you. This is a symbiotic relationship.
In lieu of food I will take some comments, so delurk now.

Is This Week Over Yet?

I am rocking this moving thing. Here is my contribution to the move that takes place in three weeks:


People, that there is TWO boxes full of great junk I want to take with me. Specifically a box of cookbooks and a box of table linens that I have used maybe 1 time in my married life.
My goal this week is to pack TWO more boxes of various sizes.
I aim high.


K's new ability to stand upright by himself affords him the time to take up new hobbies like cooking.

Here you see him whipping up a lobster risotto with a side of steamed asparagus with a hollandaise sauce.
It was delish!




Chef Wolfgang Poop even does the dishes!

My Baby Thinks He Is A Toddler

Okay, so just when you feel nothing can be added to your plate, a nine month old throws something else at you. My monkey K has decided that since he has been crawling for 3 weeks now, he will also just pull himself up on furniture and hey! why not just let go and stand alone too?
Ahem.
Shouldn't I have more of a grace period with just the crawling and eating any tiny little piece of fuzz, dirt or crap he can find on the floor?

He didn't think that was enough accomplishment for one day, he also said his first word yesterday: Uh oh!
This cannot be a good omen.

He must have had some resolutions for this year because he is growing and learning like crazy.

Busy January

We are in the finally countdown of weeks left living in New Jersey. E and his cousin will be working hard because this is their busy season.
It is also my busy season, but work pays the bills, so E won't be coming home much.
This stresses me out in so very many ways, but I know what I have to do and I only have 5 more weeks here if everything goes the way it is supposed to go.
We will leave for NH in the beginning of February, whether the house is sold or not. I promised the kids a birthday party with their friends from school and considering their lukewarm feelings of moving from their entire family, I figured it was the least I could do.

The list grows with things I have to do before I leave. I must pick up K's birth certificate, I have to eat more Chipotle because I am certain they don't exist in NH. I have to pack. I have to get my hair cut and colored and get my highlight color name? number? from my colorist. I have to get K baptised. I have to eat more bagels. (If you have never had the chance to eat a bagel in NY or NJ, what you are eating is not even close to being a bagel. Nope. Also? Why are there no delis outside of NY/NJ/CT? WTF?) I have to take the kids for a well visit at their pediatrician and dentist.
I have to pack. I have to visit my friends and grandparents one more time. Did I mention I have virtually nothing packed?

This month will be a busy one, but lonely. But, at least I have you guys, right?

2009

The starting line, the first, the unexpected lay ahead.
I kind of like the idea of the first day of the new year. Like you can make anything possible, every year behind you is dead, this is the one that counts.
Firsts are always good aren't they? First kisses, first loves, first time you see your child, first steps, first day at school, first cars, first real smiles, first time you realize you did it without help. I really can't think of a bad first, everyone leads to a new understanding, every one makes you, you.
They are all wonderful.


Do we always appreciate the wonder of firsts? Of course not. Without the darkness you can't have a sunrise.
This past year was a hard one for my family, we took a big hit and almost lost it all. If the world is one big ferris wheel of karma, we should be on our way back up to the horizon.
As I look up over this big world from the top, I will be able to say, I made it through, I did what I never thought I could do, and this is my first look on the other side.
I am going to take this year by the balls.

Reality TV Heaven

This time of year is just not the time to start getting picky with your television habits. This is when the real you breaks out. You start watching shit you make fun of with other people in mixed company.
You are a closeted mid level reality show watcher. Admit it.

I love the Hills, The Real World, Real Housewives of wherever, documentaries of any kind. I have so much free (read bored/alone/desperate for company of any kind) time that I even started watching Entourage On Demand. Winter gives you the chance to watch whatever everyone is talking about.

Mommas Boys though? O M G.
This show takes it up a notch. The Moms live with the prospective girlfriends and get the real dirt, it is a mother in law's dream. One girl upon hearing that the moms have a file on every girl's background broke down and I quote " I think I posed for playboy, you can see it on the Internet. You can see me naked but you can't see my heart".
Girl, who cares about you heart, everyone is looking at your vagina.

Forget The Bachelor or Rock of Love, this is where it is at.

Now Back To the Show

Christmas was as good as you can get being an adult here in the Tuesday Girl household.
The kids were spoiled as usual by Santa and our family. E bought me a GPS so you hear from me again once we move to NH, because have you ever visited NH? Every road is a back road and what is so wrong with street lights so you can....I don't know, see?
Ahem.
Now I have no excuse to make E drive me everywhere I need to go.
All I have is holding him to the promise he will fill my gas tank for me when ever I need it so I don't have to pump my own gas.
Once was enough. (Hence my purchase of a tee shirt that reads "Jersey Girls don't pump gas")


Christmas day with both sides of the family here was even more chaotic then usual but it was our last one hosting so it still was good. sometimes too much family at once can be challenging. You know what I am talking about.

I spent all day on Tuesday baking cinnamon rolls for my neighbors, chocolate covered pretzels with the kids and knitting some ornaments for our tree. I was a homemaking fool.
I felt like Martha Stewart, only poor.

Now I am back to the grind of being alone all week, trying to plan the twin's birthday party, trying to find movers who will accept anything but 4 months salary as payment, getting dental work done for me and checkup for the kids before we move and not losing my mind.

I must be on the verge because I accepted an invitation for a playdate for the kids. Hold me.
Sure, when I am ready to move I find friends.

Our Hearts Were Singing, It Must Be Christmastime

In these frozen and silent nights
Sometimes in a dream you appear
Outside under the purple sky
Diamonds in the snow sparkle
Our hearts were singing
It felt like christmastime

2000 miles
Is very far through the snow
I'll think of you
Wherever you go



I hope you have a very Merry Christmas with whoever you are with, and remember to tell the ones you can't be with just what they mean to you.
It is the best gift you can give, I promise.

Cashmas

Although I am sometimes guilty of doing the same, don't ask me what to get me for Christmas. If I have to struggle to find you the right gift, asking questions, snooping around, scouring the Internets, then so should you.
We should all suffer this time of year.

Me telling you that I want a bottle of perfume then getting a small rectangle box on Christmas only to open it and find out it is the perfume you knew you were getting, is anti-climactic.

Of course some people have to tell the people in their lives (cough:husbands:cough) exactly what to get to avoid getting a shower curtain liner or slippers.
Again.

I have enough trouble finding gift ideas for my husband, kids and mother without having to think of something to get me and let you know. How about I tell you what I would like or need without giving you specific gifts complete with SKU numbers and price comparison lists?

Next time you ask me my answer will be " 1 million dollars, cash, small bills please".



this post is not supposed to be serious, any gift I am given is appreciated especially cash. :)
Also can you go over to my other site and tell me what Santa does in your house?

And The Days Go Marching By

I feel like my wheels keep turning but I get nowhere. I am busy with gift buying, birthday parties, packing, the kids and managing the house. My mother has been here since Saturday and that allowed me to get a lot done, but I feel like my to do list continues to grow.

We decided to move to NH in February even if our house isn't sold because it is just too much for me to be here alone with the kids. Eric is lonely and how often can he drive back and forth from NJ to NH every week? It gets old fast.
We will stay for the twin's birthday in January and then we will leave.
I am actually excited. I just want to be there, I hate being in limbo.

The days pass so fast. I think time moves faster after you become a parent because you can see time passing on their faces every single day.
I simply cannot believe my baby will be nine months in two days. In some ways it feels like he has been here forever and other ways I feel like I just gave birth to him.
He crawled for the first time on Sunday and I wanted to scoop him up and put him in a bottle and never let him get older. This is such an exciting and perfect age.
My twins will be six and they are such great, funny children. The enjoyment of being a mom never gets old.

My father would have been 58 yesterday and I can't believe he will be done five years this February. I still miss him so very much and although I have finally stopped picking up the phone to call him when I have exciting news or a decision to make only to remember he is not here, I still think of him every day.

I am loving this time of year with my family and I hope you hug your loved ones a little tighter this year. Tell someone what they mean to you, that is much more important and valued than a gift.

Boom Chicka Boom Boom

I have written about my idea of suburban mom porn before.
There might be something as good, have you guys seen the Porn for Women series?
They are a series of books and calenders for women and page after page is hysterical captions of what women really want. Or sometimes want.
Or just want men to say so they can have a good laugh.


Whatever the case, they are having a caption contest:
Those who enter an original caption for one of our Porn for women images get a chance to win a bouquet of flowers from 800-Flowers.

1 lucky winner will be chosen every day during the month of December! To enter,
click here.

I am having so much fun making up captions and thought you would like to try and win some flowers too.

Why I Need To Kick A Kindergartner's Ass

My friends you will have to wait one more week for my vlog, E and I just didn't have time this past weekend.

We are in the throws of the holidays here in the Tuesday Girl household. Thinking about gifts for teachers, bus drivers, wrapping, decorating, what to bake for the neighbors, cleaning and cooking has made my head spin.
My kids have not noticed, they are typical kids and are in heaven with our house decorated and all things Christmas. They spent the two days after we decorated the house running around from room to room looking at everything and ohh and ahh-ing.
The pure joy that this season gives to children is contagious, I find myself planning our baking with them and we are doing a easy embroidery project together.
So when R came home and told me what a girl in her class told me I was livid.

R: "Gianna told me that Santa was just make believe!" "Isn't she crazy?"

Thank goodness she thinks Gianna is crazy and I reinforced the crazy talk. I have no idea why you would tell a five year old that Santa is not real, but if you had your reasons why not tell her to keep her trap shut?
Does my kindergartner really have to learn that lesson? I thought I would have at least until 4th grade before I had to have that talk.

E has distinct memory of the one Jewish boy in all of New Hampshire telling him in second grade that Santa wasn't real. He still holds a grudge to this day.
Really.

I really have no idea how I found out Santa was not who I thought he was but I know I was in at least 5th or 6th grade before all the pieces started to come together, included but not limited to opening a gift clearly marked "FROM SANTA" and seeing a Toys R Us sticker on it.
How did you or your kids find out?

I Am A Giver

Yesterday while getting ready to leave the house with all kids and adults to attend holiday party at my Mom's house:

Me: Hey, E are you sure I shouldn't go change and put a tank top under this sweater? I am really showing a lot of cleavage. Plus I am not wearing a nursing bra for a change and my boobs are pushed ack where they are supposed to be. Wow, boobs belong a lot higher than I remember.

E: Nope. No tank top.
No.
No way.
It looks great. Did I say no?

Me: but when I bend down you get a shot of, well, everything.

E: yes!
I mean, no, you just see enough and that is enough.
It is good. Perfect!
Did I say how good it was?

My son L: Mom? I think people are going to laugh at you.

Me: why?

L: because you can see your breasts and I think people will see you and laugh and I don't want that to happen.

E: No! Nobody will laugh at Mommy! Ha!
You are really cock-blocking me son, I want to stare at breasts all night and you, my sweet son, are ruining everything. Have you forgotten I live out of state 4-5 days a week?
I gotta take boob action while I got it.
Ha! This kid is such a jokester. You are so funny!
NO TANK TOPS!



I am sure I flashed many a person at the party last night but what the hell. It is the season to give. If you were lucky enough to sneak a peak at my boobs last night.
Consider that your Christmas gift.

You are welcome.

Perhaps Living In A More Rural Location May Be a Nice Change

Lady who parked in the "customer with small child parking" spot-
Apparently you cannot read or have no grasp of the written language, the spot you parked in is for people with small children. There is even a picture on the sign of a stick baby in a cart. That should have given you a hint.
You are about 101 years old but miraculously you had what appeared to be your mother in the car with you. She looked to be 200 years of age. I felt bad for screaming at you in my head but then I caught a glimpse of your handicap sticker.
See the 7 empty handicap parking spots right in front of the entrance?
That is for you.
Leave these four measly spots for me and my pudgy baby.

Other lady parked in "customer with small child: parking space-
Stop being lazy this is for SMALL children not for you and your 8 year old. I had twins, I had to lug two small infants and my purse blocks only to have to have to put one in the back of a cart because you took these spots with your 8 year old and then took the only cart for two to ride in for your old child who walked along side you the whole way. I should have run you down with my cart while I had the chance.
You are a bitch.

Lady who has zero awareness about anyone other than herself,

You don't park your cart in the middle of the aisle in the most crowded store in NJ while you talk on the phoen and ignore me who is trying to get around you.
Newsflash: The world doesn't revolve around you.
Perhaps you went to the Tammy Faye Baker school of modeling, therefore very unaware of this fact but you don't put makeup around your lips, you put it ON your lips.
Unless the "freshly given a BJ" look was what you were going for.
My mistake.

Smooches,
Tuesday Girl

Long December

Why hello there.
How was your thanksgiving? Are you full of turkey?
I am not and I wish I had a leftover sandwich right now.

My mother in law's turkey was dry and stove top was the stuffing of choice. In my opinion Thanksgiving is the one day you have to take it up a notch and stove top was a disappointment.
I will live because Christmas is at our house and I will be cooking a turkey instead of my usual roast beef. Suckas.
It will be my last hosting of a holiday since I will now reside 4.5 hours from all of my family.

I was thrilled to have E home for more then 2.5 days. I had so many things on my to do list and I got most of them done, including a failed attempt at alone time at Barnes & Noble and a wasted trip to Target on black Friday.
More on that later.

The one thing I wanted to do that I did not get to was make a vlog. I am going to show you one of the most personal spaces in anyone's house- my bedside table. I have something very disturbing in my bed side table that I bet nobody else has and I want you to see it.
If you can guess what is in there, you will win my adoration, my disgust fro having such a strange mind and a gift from my house to yours.
Lucky for you the gift will NOT be from my bedside table.