Grandfathers

Losing a parent sucks, plain and simple. My father was so young when he died and had so little time to finish things or say goodbye. I am not sure why or who I blame that on but I am bitter. There are so many things I am bitter about.

Now that I have four days (OMG!) left before I have this baby, I miss my Dad more then ever. This is not the first grandchild born since my father died, my sister had a baby 2.5 years ago.
I remember that day so clearly. I was in the hospital with her and my mother and I decided to go across the street to the pharmacy and get some magazines and junk food. While I was in there I heard the song that was played at his funeral, a not very common song that I have never heard on the radio before or since but a few of my family members have heard it randomly played as well. I pushed back my tears in the far back corner of the store before my mom saw me. I knew it was my dad's way of telling me he was with my sister that day. I have never told anyone about that song, not even my sister.

I am hoping to have a similar sign when I have this baby. I know that he will be with me, but it would be nice to have some reassurance. I will miss his visit and pictures with him and this baby, but the baby will still be a little part of him. The baby and my twins will only know their grandfather through stories and tales and that sure is a huge loss for them. He was an amazing person who will be with all of us until it is our time to leave this Earth.
I just wish I had one more day.............................

Twilight

Things I that were running through my mind when I was half awake this morning listening to my kids:

R to her brother: LOOK! A shark is here to play with us!
Me: did E hire a shark that is coming today? Think, Tuesday, think!.......wait........what?

Me: Am I pregnant?

Me: What if I buy the domain ican'tpoop.com? People could share stories and tips and tricks. That would be glorious.

Me: how can I stop these horrendous hip pains? What if I sleep on a hemorrhoid pillow? I wish I had a temperpedic mattress, I wonder if I could steal one.


Still no baby news. I am still not dilated but 50% effaced. Blech.
Of course a healthy, happy baby is all E and I want but I am horribly scared of another C-section.

There is Something To Be Said For a Drip Dry

Over dinner the other night I mentioned to E that I couldn't find the "good" toilet paper for the downstairs bathroom and only found a half of a roll of the one ply terrible toilet paper.
This is when our daughter decided to reveal to us that when there is no toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom, the one that is used the most frequently, she just uses the hand towel to wipe herself.

We didn't know whether to laugh or cry and we still don't.
What I do know, is that I change the hand towel every day now, I am vigilant about toilet paper in that bathroom and I didn't finish my dinner that night.

The end.



Psst, come and tell me about your confessions here.

Oh Baby!

No baby news for you yet. In the very least, this will be the last week of my life without a third child. Outside of my body anyways.

We may have to wrangle in our daughter. She was heard yelling for "L" her brother this morning. E went upstairs to see what she needed and she was still in bed under the covers and told her father she needed her brother to bring her coffee.
Girl power!

On the agenda this week: give blood to check my platelet count because if it goes any lower we are in trouble, and make a copy of my license to obtain a copy of my marriage certificate, to send to my stupid, asinine, horrible insurance company to prove that I am married to my husband. Sending them a wedding picture wouldn't do I guess. My husband needs to get a job just to get away from this insurance company.
Please keep good job thoughts for us, we are down to the wire and when he lost his job in November finding a new one by the time the baby was born seemed like a simple feat for a educated, talented person with a ton of experience in his field, but now here we are with 8 days left. Prayers, well wishes, positive thoughts, anything is appreciated.

Yes, A Fonzie Tee Shirt

I know you have to be as sick of reading about my pregnancy as I am about writing it. All I have to say is, I am still not dilated at all, but lets hope my homeopath's pellets will work their magic, after all I only have eleven days before they start coming at me with a scalpel.

My biggest complaint when looking at my baby pictures is that my parents dressed me like a boy. Flannel shirts, jeans, fonzie tee shirts, lots of overalls. Of course it was the mid 70s so I don't expect too much but c'mon. I also didn't have much hair until I was about 3, and then it was a mess of curls like Shirley Temple. It wasn't my best look.
I was looking through some of my baby albums and my kids were interested in seeing them. As we were going through it page by page my son pointed to a picture of me at about 4 with a mess of curls and some boy clothes and said "look there is my friend Nick".
Yes, even my son thinks I looked like a boy.
My mom will never live this down.

Small Update

My C-section is scheduled for March 18th. I have my homoepathc and OBGYN appointments tomorrow to get the labor underway if there is any type of God.

Let the freaking out begin.

Hopeful Wonder

Seriously this has saved my sleep this past week. I highly suggest one to all my pregnant friends or new moms.

I need the sleep too because I am excited about this week. Today is going to be a warm one so I will take the little ones to the park. It will be good to get out of this house and hopefully I can walk so I can perhaps bring on labor and/or counteract the two donuts I ate this morning.
Tomorrow I get my highlights touched up and a well needed trim. I got my eyebrows waxed last week but declined the bikini wax, I just know the minute I get a bikini wax I will go into labor and a sore vagina coupled with labor pains I do not need.
Thursday I go see my homeopath who I know will work his wonders and get me into labor and help with my recovery no matter what way the baby ends up coming out.
I have a good feeling about this week and maybe that means E will finally be offered a job. Keep up the positive thoughts for us, I know they are working and we so appreciate them.

Take Your Best Guess

So as long as I wait for this baby to descend into the birth canal and ruin my vagina forever, at least we can have some fun with it.
Let us have an old fashioned "guess when the baby is coming and the sex" game. I will give you my stats and you can guess when this baby arrives and whether it is a boy or a girl, whoever comes closest, will get a copy of this book, which I will be reviewing next week here.

In the interest of full disclosure here are my details:
I went 39 weeks with my twins and they were born via c-section because baby A was breech. Baby A was 7lbs 2 oz and baby B was 8lbs 2 oz.
My due date is March 19th.
As of yesterday (37 weeks) I was not dilated at all.
I *think* I am having braxton hicks contractions but who can be sure? They feel like gas pains.
The baby is head down and feel very low, although I am not sure my stomach has dropped.
I have no feelings either way if it is a boy or a girl. No idea and it is killing me!


Feel free to ask me anything more that you need to know to make your predictions.

Birth Plan

I went to my OB appointment today and I am less then thrilled with what went down. I am maybe a "finger tip" dilated (eww) and she couldn't strip my membranes. She told me "at this rate you are not going to have a VBAC". Granted she is the least supportive and the one I like the least from this practice, but still can she be any more negative?

I really don't want a C-section, of course if I go to 40 weeks or if there are any complications, I would have one. I have been there and I don't want to go through it again, I had complications, I had a hard recovery. I don't have family & friends around to help me. I have five year old twins. I **hopefully** will have a husband who works outside of the house 40+ hours a week. I have stairs to go up and down.
All of which are not helpful to a 8+ week recovery from surgery.

I have a call in to my homeopath, hopefully he will have magic herbs and potions to help me achieve a successful VBAC.
I want a healthy baby, of course but do they really have to cut me in half to get one?

What People Will Do For Money

I admit it, I have hit a low with television since this writers strike. I found myself watching this show on Monday night called "The Moment of Truth". Have you heard of this show? One person is asked many questions about themselves before the show, they go on the show knowing what questions they have answered and have to answer them again in front of their family, friends and 8 million TV viewers.

There was a young woman on the show I saw who was married to a police officer. I can only assume it was her greed that led her to continue on question after question that was so uncomfortable to watch but I just couldn't change the channel. She stole money, she admitted to knowing she shouldn't marry her husband on her wedding day, she cheated on her husband and admitted that she would leave him for an ex boyfriend.
All the while I wanted to hug her husband. He looked so defeated, but urged her on because what more could be revealed? She was going for $200,000 when the question "are you a good person" came up. She answered yes and it came back as a false answer. All of that and she ended up losing all of her money. Irony? Karma?
Who knows, but it was some hour of television.
I know that even though we have hit a new financial low in the last few months, there are some things even I would not do for money.

Virtual Nesting

Lately I have been in a writing funk. I just can't think of anything that is worth writing about. It seems my brain is full of baby stuff and it won't go away. I guess it is my body's way of preparing for this infants birth, but I wish I could think coherently again. I wish I could sleep all night and get the things done I wish I could do but I just can't make myself actually do.
I am nesting but only virtually.

I am so loving my kids being five. My daughter is still in love with princesses and high school musical but still loves to play with my son's toys and keeps up with all her older boy cousins. She loves to be in charge. She can hold her own.
She is getting very attached to my belly now, talking to it, singing, showing the baby her things.
My son has become very brave and more independent. Much more so then last year, he went sleigh riding for the first time and went once with his Aunt and then wanted to do it alone, down a big huge hill. Big stuff for a beginner.
He was knocked down by various kids on sleds, but never cried which is a miracle because he really is so sensitive.
This is going to be a big year for them with getting a new sibling, starting kindergarten and hopefully attending swim school and learning to ride a bike. I think they are going to do great.

Positive Thoughts

We could still use your prayers and positive vibes on the job front. E has had a couple of interviews this past week and one today. Something has to give and I am afraid if E doesn't get a job soon he will crack. he has eluded to it before how much more he can hang on, and I can't imagine what goes through his head at night, when I know what goes through mine. I silently vowed to hold this kid in until he gets a job but with only a few more weeks left, there is only so much my uterus and I can do.
Think good thoughts, will you people?


I had a check up today and I am not dilated at all but the baby's head is down and low, which I already knew because it feel like the baby will fall out any minute. If I am dilated at next week's visit they will strip my membranes which sounds as painful as I am sure it is.

Limbo

I feel healthy, I am just in limbo sort of. This must be what it feels like to have ADD. I start things but cannot finish them. The smallest tasks seem like the hardest things to accomplish these days.
If I cook dinner one night a week it is a lot. The things like cooking, baking, organizing, talking to friends, that usually make me happy don't right now. I am restless and bored but don't want to do anything about it.

I am not sure what it is but I know I want to come out of this fog I am currently in and back into the land of the living.
At least my kids make me laugh:

L: mom does gay mean happy?
Me: yes it does
L: I am so gay today!!

Pregnancy, Month 9

I never wanted to talk about my pregnancy so much on this blog but hey, I am coming into the final stretch here and I have issues.
What is up with the itching? I have never had so many itches before in my life. Last night the soles of my feet itched, my elbows and my eyebrows.
This cannot be right.
I can say that I am thrilled that I went through this entire pregnancy so far without one of those charley horse leg cramps I had at least 343 times when I was pregnant with the twins. You know, where you roll in horrific pain on the bed while your husband just watches, and then you limp the entire next day? Not a one of those and that is a small miracle.

My stomach is huge. I am really hoping this baby isn't too big as big babies run in my family. Since it should be coming out of the canal rather then the shortcut, smaller would be helpful.
And yes, I am still praying I am one of those "I only labored 3 hours and with two pushes the baby was out" mothers. Wouldn't you?



Tell me what you think about renting toys online for your kids, or how to get this baby out in a timely manner.

Love

I love the color pink. I love hearts and girly things. I love eating by candlelight or by a fire. I love homemade cards with lace and glitter, I think telling someone what they mean to you shouldn't be reserved for one day. I love when my husband will just start dancing with me in the kitchen when there is no music on. I love kissing and hugging, especially my children. I love hot pink pajamas.
I love chocolate and heart shaped pancakes.
I love the idea of love.
I love that it can linger on and never die even if your loved one will never come back to return it.
I love how powerful it can be, how it makes you really feel alive.

I love that my two little valentines made our bed for us as a surprise today and although they are only five they did an amazing job. I love that they want to return the love we give them. I love them, I love the human that is growing inside of me and I love my husband.
Not just today, but everyday, I love, love.

White Winter

So you are telling me there IS hope for my vagina? Very good news.
It makes me slightly less scared for childbirth, but truth be told, I am freaking out. Not that I am in any way ready, I have not purchased what I need to, dug out what I need to find or packed any bags. It doesn't help that E STILL doesn't have a job and I am in official panic mode. So is he. Hense the no purchasing what needs to be purchased. Maybe I will at least make a list on Amazon of what I need, I can at least do that.


For some strange reason where I currently live in NJ, we get zero amounts of snow every year. In North jersey we got a decent amount of snow every single year, some amounts even prevented you from going to work or school! Nirvana! Now, here outside of Philly, there is no snow. Zero. Less then 1 inch all winter. Strange and very disspointing I have got to say. My poor kids want to play in the snow, use their snow boots, or their forgotten mittens they received for Christmas.
Instead all we get is rain. Dreary, boring rain.
Global warming is a fable, my ass.

Bigger Not Always Better

Are you sick of reading about my illness? I aure am sick of talking about it. I am better, off the oxygen and feeling great. Heartburn still kicks my ass once in awhile but is common and I can deal with it. Lets move on to more pressing topics, shall we?

My vagina.
Oh lord, how I am scared for my vagina. I never realized how scary my decision to have a VBAC was for me, until now, when the birth of this baby is becoming a reality. I had a scary C section last time and I don't want to repeat that, if I can help it. I would love to experience a "natural" birth, but if there is any problems, if I go past 40 weeks (NO!) or if the baby needs to come out, I will have a c-section, and I am OK with that.
But what if I go into labor like I am supposed to, what if everything is alright and the baby is going to come out the the birth canal like it should?
Where does that leave my vagina?

I have to say people, that I am scared it will never be the same.
I have talked to my girlfriends and many say it is not the same, some say it is, but I am not sure if I can believe them. One even asked her husband and he said everything is normal, but really what is that guy going to say? I am sure he wants to have the sex again.

So tell me ladies and men, how is the vagina after child birth? A noticiable difference? Slight difference? Vaginal rejuvination time?
Give it to my straight, even if you do so anonymously, I can take it, but I am not sure my vagina can!

Burn Baby Burn

Well, I guess it is official, you are here to stay.
I should have known better then expect you not to come and ruin my days and nights.
Why it took you so long I am not sure, but I am glad you didn't arrive sooner. I really hate you, especially at night, especially when you ruin some of my favorite things like relaxing with a nice snapple apple juice.

I hope you leave soon and I never have to deal with you again.
You are a spiteful bitch, heartburn and I hate you.

I hope you rot in the fiery pits of hell.

Update

So, I am home and recuperating. I still don't feel 100%, probably because I didn't sleep from last tuesday night until Monday night in the hospital when the doctor finally gave me a sleeping pill. I was going on 4-5 hours of sleep a day and that was not in a row. I felt like I already had the baby.
I also was not eating and I have lost about 9 pounds in the past 8 days. I was very sick.

The baby is doing great, measuring right on target at 34 weeks. I had daily stress tests for the baby and even one sonogram. He or she is healthy, and thriving despite what I was dealing with.

I missed my kids so much while I was at the hospital. My mother came and stayed here from Thursday night until Sunday afternoon. Thank goodness she did. I didn't want the kids coming to the hospital and without any babysitters or cargivers I wouldn't even have had the few visits with E or my Mom as I did. I was lonely and bored.
I finally let the kids come to the hospital for the first time on Sunday. When it was time for them to leave R looked at me and said "but you will be all alone here Mommy". It broke my heart, I turned away quickly and tried to hide my tears, I didn't want her to see how lonely I was. She is such a sweet girl. L told me I was beautiful even with my oxygen up my nose and even in the hospital.
Now if that didn't make me feel 100% better, nothing would have!
I wish docors thought more about the mind/body/spirit thing, because I wasn't doing anything in the hospital that I couldn't have done at home. My oxygen levels were at a 94 resting and when my kids came to visit they were at the highest they had ever been- 97.
I go tomorrow morning for a check up and I hope to get off this stupid oxygen!

Free At Last

Oh, hi! Remember me?
I have been MIA lately because I have been in the hospital since 9pm on Thursday night. It looks like I have some type of respiratory infection and couldn't pass air through my lungs. Not good for me or the babe.
We have been in the hospital trying to keep my oxygen up over 93, which I can do if I am just sitting in bed. If I get up to walk or to do anything and I am not on oxygen, then it drops too low.
My doctor finally let me out this morning with the promise I would wear oxygen at home 24/7 and continue with all my medications. So yeah, I am like that lady in the grocery store carting her tank in the rascal around the store. How hot!

I am not going to lie, I was scared, alone most of the time and it really put some things into perspective. More bad luck is something my family does not need right now and this was plenty more.

I have lots of hospital stories for you because being on a floor where no one was under 75 years old, gives you lots of blogging material!

ER

Hours since I felt "like I may be getting sick": 72

Hours I spent in the emergency room last night: 8

Hours I spent alone inthe waiting room last night: 8

Hours I spent alone, not being able to breath in the ER last night before a real live doctor took 4 minutes to examine me: 6.15

Hours I have spent sleeping in last 24 hours: 3-4

Amount of steriods I have taken and tylenol for the muscle pain I have all over from coughing so much and so hard: too hard to guess


Lets hope I feel better soon and this baby stays safe and continues to bake!

Ill

Of course.
I had to go see my endocrinologist today for a routine visit and she was worried about how sick I seemed. She did an exam and said if I can't breathe, which I cannot the baby can't either. Not a fun thought. So now I have to go on a steroid pack similar to a zpack and get healthy.
It is safe for the baby as safe as steroids can be but safer then not getting enough oxygen.

Right from there we took L to his pediatrician because he still has a fever. He has a respiratory infection also (yippee!) and needs his nebulizer and a z pack. I so hate giving him and I these medications but what choice do I have?
I just feel guilty and I hate that.

I hope I feel better tomorrow to give you a proper post!

Death Warmed Over

My son is sick and now I am too. It hit me last night and today I feel like something a cat threw up. Of course not being able to sleep or nap is just terrific at this time.

Send reinforcements.
Send tea.
Send a hot male nurse.
Send someone to carry my baby for a day so I can take some medicine or a beloved ambien.

What are You Doing at 3am?

My husband and I are insomniacs. We have the same problem if we wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, we can't go back to sleep. ( I am pregnant so I have a reason to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but WTH is with E's tiny bladder?)
Then our minds wander to all the problems and concerns we have and forget sleeping. So we talk or make fun of terrible infomercials on in the middle of the night*.
If I know he is awake I will wake up to talk to him or he will just get out of bed at 3am and stay up.
Of course by the time we fall back asleep it is almost time for L, our little rooster, to wake up. He is up by 6:30 every day!
So we are both very tired every day now. E doesn't nap and I really never nap, because I just wake up crabby and in a foul mood.

Here I am at 1:30pm exhausted and waiting for bedtime.


* Except the Jack Lalanne, the godfather of fitness, juicer informercial. Oh, how I wish I had $100 right now to buy this juicer. You an jsut put a whole apple in! Peel and all!
It promises energy and delicious possibilities! I need energy and endless delicious possibilities!

Plus, My Hips Hurt

Somewhat fitting my last post was my 1,000th! Woot!
That is a hell of a lot of complaining, explaining, celebrating, whining and bitching, thank you all for reading and sharing your life, concerns and advice with me.

I realize that the last post (1,ooo!) was a teaser and really I don't think I should blog about it for various reasons but if you are dying to know ( I know I would) email me and I will explain.
Now if you will excuse me I have to find something light to wear to my OB's visit because that weigh in is a bitch, isn't it girls?

Does anyone else use twitter? I am addicted.

Now, Go enter my contest for one of three free personalized fruit rollups a $30 value!

Scary Pregnant Woman

I could tell you about my run in with E's ex boss that had him fired because, well, she was jealous of him and the nice police man who visited me later that night who would rather return to Iraq then work for the NJ police force, but I better not.
Just add the NJ police to the list of people who now know this woman is crazy.

Let us just say someone shit herself and it wasn't me.

The Poor Kid Needs to Get Out More

My kids are fed very specific foods picked by moi. No gummy "treats", no cookies besides maybe some animal crackers and no sugary, crappy cereals. They eat Cheerios, granola, Kix and the occasional Life cereal.

yesterday we took teh kids out to lunch for their birthday and the each wanted cereal with fruit and a muffin. They were out of Cherrios so I ordered them corn flakes which they have never had but I knew they would like. When it came to the table in small individual boxes L said "look my cereal is chicken flavored!"

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

Birthday, Babies

Dear Babies,

I know you are not babies anymore, I am especially aware of that today of all days, because today you both turned five years old. The past five years have been a blur to me but when I sit and really think about it, I see snapshots in my mind. Your first bath, your first steps and words, feeling grass on your bare feet, dancing in the rain, leaving you at school, how you have grown and what amazing people you have become. I know, I know how I have struggled as your Mom, I have been tested, but you both have kept me strong. I have told you before and I will always remember how you saved me from myself.

L you surprise me every day. You are so brave now and you are becoming our little comedienne. When your sister is being crazy you will just look at me and we will laugh. You see the beauty in mundane things, it is not unusual for you to remark on how beautiful the sun is or how lovely the flowers are. This is my favorite thing about you, you never let me not appreciate the little things.

R, you are brave you stand up for yourself and for your brother. You want everyone to know you are strong and independent but you still need me, and I love that. I hope it never changes. You like to act like you are 15 not 5, but that may be a girl thing, I want to love where you are in life and not try and grow up too soon, a mistake we all make. You are beautiful and you know it but you are so smart too. You love to draw and you are going to be a great artist like Daddy.

I am so thankful to be your Mom, and although I have made some mistakes these last five years I promise to try and learn from them. You are great people and I don't want to mess that up. This year is going to be great for you both, you will start kindergarten, get a baby brother or sister, take swimming lessons and play your first sport on a recreation team. I predict you will love this year and will blossom even more.

I love you my babies and I always will.

Forever, Mommy

A Twin Mess

When you have twins what one doesn't think of, the other does. Usually the one that thinks of everything is my daughter, R. She is the mastermind, the plotter, the one with the devious mind. L goes along with almost everything R says he is the lookout, the co-conspirator, if you will.

When E started a new job two years ago, he was away for a month for training. He came home every weekend but from Sunday night to Friday night, I was alone with the two almost-three-year-olds. To say it was tough would be an understatement.

They were also just introduced to toddler beds a month or so before E left. Getting them both to take a nap was hard. They would get out of bed, fool around, jump and play. I can understand that, but they needed a nap, they still need naps. One particular day everything grew quiet upstairs. Usually when a child is quiet it means trouble, but this time I convinced myself they were sleeping. In reality, I was probably just saving myself another trip up the stairs to check on them. When nap time should have been over and the kids still weren't making any noise, I went upstairs to check on them.

What I saw was the worst mess I have ever seen in my house.

They pulled everything out of the closet and off the hanger and threw it onto the floor. Sweaters, coats, skirts, dresses, belts and shoes were strewn everywhere. Then they took everything out of their drawers, even the drawer that contained diapering paraphernalia including baby powder. It looked like a flour factory exploded in R's room. I just sat down in the middle of the mess and cried.

I cried because I missed E, I cried because I missed living close to my family & friends and I cried because I knew I had to clean that whole mess by myself!

The kids just stared at me, I am not sure they ever saw me cry before. Then they did something I wasn't expecting.

They laughed at me.

They will pay for that when they are 13.

This is the biggest mess I have ever had to clean up, and I wrote about it for the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas for an Oreck XL Ultra Vacuum contest, which is the Cadillac of all vacuums!

Just an Ordinary Day, Just trying to Get By

I know things can be worse, I know bad things happen to good people, but I needed a "woe is me" day. I am done now. I just hope E gets ajob before we lose everything, the timing couldn't be worse.

I need some advice for you mothers or mothers to be, tell me what I should pack in my bag for the hopsital.
Or if you are going to try to potty train soon, check out my readiness quiz now with informative tips!
Also, check out this awesome product from American Terry Co. There textiles are amazing, and they have great gift ideas for kids.

Other then that, can we just celebrate the fact that I haven't had one of those terrible leg cramps at night that are so terrible and the aftershocks linger for a whole day after. That SO rocks.

Life Can Be So Cruel

I really have never been more stressed out in my life. E has still not had any job offers, he has some more interviews lined up but it is hard to keep up faith and hope every week. Week after week it is more bad news. How much more can a family take?
It seems like when it rains it pours and financially we are in the middle of a typhoon.

I find myself wishing I wasn't pregnant so I could go back to work full time and pick up where I am needed. The baby is due in such a short time and I am scared.
So very scared.

We need a small miracle here and E is out right now trying to make sure we have some security. This mostly falls onto his shoulders and I think he may break soon, if his mood and demeanor last night is any sign, he will be breaking soon. I am not sure I could pick up the pieces.
We are not bad people. We work hard, we are raising good kids, we are just struggling to make it like everyone else. We don't vacation, we don't live lavishly, we do without for our kids.
I feel so badly for him because he feel like a failure and so do I. We are failures.



Is there any millionaires out there that want to adopt my family for a small amount of time??

List Mania

Is it just me or is everyone pregnant? So many bloggers I read are expecting babies around or just after me, so many celebrities and some of my friends in real life. It must be baby season, because all I hear about is babies.

We are starting to think about taking out all of our baby "stuff" clothing, gear and all the things you need for a small new baby. I have made lists! I love lists and make them for every reason and they sit all over the house and E will just look at them and laugh. I make lists of foods I am craving and want the next day, I make lists of baby gear we need, I even made a list of what I want to pack in my hospital bag.
But the lists are as far as I have gotten so far.

One list that keeps reappearing is our baby name list. It is short this time around. We have a boy's name and we have two we like for a girl. We had two last time for our daughter and she was 24 hours old before we could finally decide between the two. I think that is what is going to happen this time.
we like both girl names and neither of us can pick one over the other.

Maybe we have to see the baby before we decide like with R. Maybe I will let the internets decide once the baby is born.
Or maybe it will be a boy at this will all be for naught.

Moms

You know you are a Mom when:

You stand in line without complaining for 20 minutes just so your kids can get a balloon animal

Smell not only your kid's diapers but willingly smell other people's children's diapers to find where a particular odor is coming from

Give up your precious sleep to check and see if they are still breathing

You can carry on a conversation, do your daughter's hair and problem solve all while you are peeing.

You never go to the bathroom alone (see above)

Let your kids watch more TV then you ever thought you would just so you can get some peace and quiet

Judge other Mothers because it makes you feel better about the kind of mother you are (c'mon you know you do it!)

Can't watch the news or made for TV movies for fear of hearing about something horrible happening to a child

Watch the clock until it is your child's bedtime then miss them 30 minutes later


Now you finish this sentence: You know you are a mom when........

Change for Life

My sister has two sons, one is seven years old and the other is two. Both have/had speech delays and her older son has problems paying attention. He has trouble concentrating in school, finishing his work, and following through with tasks. We have suggested taking him to her pediatrician, letting him be evaluated, to get him tested but since she has problems with following through with things and being organized it never got done.

Recently she moved and now my nephew goes to a new school district, a better one. They want to have him evaluated to make sure he is in the right classes, etc and they also send him to a medical doctor for evaluation, which I think is amazing. I think there are two roads he is going to travel down, either we try and intervene and give him the help he needs now, or he will be medicated for ADD for a long time. I know ADD medications are terrific, and help a lot of people, I probably know more about this types of medications then the average person, because E worked with these types of medications. Medicating kids in my opinion is a last resort.

I have offered to help her research and organize a new diet plan for their home. My nephews and my sister and her husband will no longer be allowed to eat just anything. No sugar, no red dye in foods, various supplements, a hard task to accomplish. It will take an overhaul of how she shops, eats, cooks, and is more effort then she is used to putting in. I asked her to give him 2-3 weeks on this new "diet" and see how he does both at home and at school.

I want to know if anyone has an experiences with this to share with me. What do you think about medicating children?

Life Lessons

One thing I hated about my childhood was that I had a early bedtime. As a parent now, I see the benefit of the early bedtime to both me and my parents, but as a child going to bed when the sun is still out in the summer and you can hear the kids playing outside, is not fun. Not fun at all.
You try and fall asleep because what else can you do, but your slumber will not come. You hear your friends under your window, birds chirping and the ice cream man slowly going down your street.
Is this familiar to anyone besides me?

I would go to school and my peers would talk about shows I have never heard of. I was left out, I was put to bed after the Muppet Show! A late night for me was 8pm on a school night. My friends would talk about all of these great TV shows that I never got a chance to see and I was jealous.
Then came the MASH finale. I am not sure I had ever watched MASH before, but I wanted to see that finale. I begged my Mom. She said no, it was a school night after all.
I did what any other third grader would do..... I cried.

I cried and whined and cried some more for what seemed like forever after my bedtime. I heard the theme music. It was time to step it up despite being yelled at to be quiet about 23728 times. I cried more. I was literally crying myself to sleep. I was exhausted, it was way after my bedtime and I was making myself stay up to prove a point. I am Irish, stubborn is my middle name.

Finally my Mom came in my room and told me, in a not so nice tone, that I could come out to the living room and watch it. She probably only gave in so she could watch her favorite show in peace. I watched it, forcing my eyes to stay open the whole time. I was so excited to go to school the next day, to talk about something that was on TV past 7pm with my peers, to finally be in the know.

You know what is coming right? Yeah, nobody mentioned the MASH finale, no one has seen it. After all of that, I was defeated.
That probably wasn't my first lesson learned in life, but it is one I still remember. I did need my sleep, everyone in the world was not watching MASH but me, and my Mom did know best, but I was too tired to admit it to her.
I remember that every time I put my kids to bed when the sun is still out, kids are playing on our street and the ice cream man passes our house.

Healthy Days Are here Again

I am trying to remain healthy in this house despite the fact that E is sick and our daughter R has a runny nose. L and I are hanging on to our health, but for how long? I do not want to be pregnant and sick, I have enough problems.

In baby news, (s)he is measuring at 30 weeks, which is one week ahead of me and is already head down with a strong heartbeat. (S)he moves so much all over with I was told is because there is so much room because of my overly stretched out uterus, the outcome of having two huge twins in you for 39 weeks. I also do not have gestational diabetes despite having eaten my body weight in candy, chocolate and goodies since October.
My thyroid is functioning fine although we will have to monitor it for the rest of my pregnancy and for months after because hormone flux does wacky things to thyroids.
Now I am feeling great after this doctor's appointment and all this reassuring news.

How has your 2008 been so far?

Wax On or Off?

How crazy would I really be if in my current third trimester state, went to get a bikini wax?

I wonder if I would be more sensitive, less or whocaresIhaveababycomingsoon.
I also wonder what kind of waxing to get a traditional conservative wax or go all out and bare all? Maybe I should just wait until I get close to my due date and get it all done then so I don't have to worry about it for awhile.

Who knew birthing babies would be so complicated.

New Year/New Me

I am happy 2007 is over it wasn't that great anyway!
yes, we made a human being that is still cooking away but besides that? Nothing that terrific happened.

Here is to hoping that in 2008:

-I deliver a healthy baby. (being one of those women who simply wince at the labor pains, get to the hospital and deliver within 30 minutes would be a huge bonus!)

-E gets a new job that he loves. Minus the bitchy, jealous boss and more money would be terrific.

-I wean myself off all of my asthma and allergy medications.

-I have enough money to bring the kids to my homeopath so they can get the right detox for all the stupid, ridiculous, money making vaccines the state of NJ say they need, but I don't want to give them, to start kindergarten.

-That I make at least one friend in this stupid town.

-That my kids transition well to a new baby being in our home.

-That I eat healthier and go to the gym more.

-That you guys are still around to hear what stupid things I have to say about my life on a daily basis! I hope you guys all have a great 2008.

Recuperating

Christmas is over. Now I do what every person does after Christmas, put together toys, listen to kids beg to open this or that, eat gross amounts of leftovers, clean and wallow in depression.
What? You don't get depressed after the holidays are over? You are strange.

I always get a little depressed after the holidays, back to the daily boredom, no more holiday magic, wishing I hadn't eaten that much and knowing I have to pack all this holiday crap up, gets to me. Add to that my husband still hasn't had any job offers, I assume because of the holidays, and it is more then my little pregnant head can handle. I am worried about everything. Bills, insurance, the cost of my perscriptions, my doctor's appointments, the list goes on and on. Not great for someone who is pregnant.


My kids had an amazing Christmas. They received so many lovely gifts and some I even love. Amazingly only one is loud enough that I want to smash it into a million pieces.
That itself is my Christmas miracle!

Hope Yours Was Great Too!

After being awake and moving for 19 hours yesterday, I am finally so tired. I made it, the kids had an amazing Christmas, I ate waaaaay too much and I fear for my gestational diabetes test I have to take this week.
We had a great time with family and friends and I will provide more details when I finally get some rest!

Merry Christmas

Today I am baking like a mad woman, orange cranberry mini muffins, chocolate chip cookies, brownies, peanut butter kiss cookies, peanut butter balls rolled in coconut. I bake cookies every year for my neighbors and since I am crazy and slightly nesting this worked out well for me this year. I just have to resist eating them all!

Tomorrow morning I have to blanch and peel boiler onions for Tuesday and make a pumpkin cheesecake. Then we are off to our hometown* for church and our annual party at one of my Aunt's house. We will try not to stay too late because we have a long drive home, have to put gifts under the tree and get some sleep before my son, the rooster, wakes us up at the crack of dawn.
Christmas will be spent with family a fire and good food.
Nothing is better.

Have a great Christmas everyone. Keep yourselves safe and I hope you get everything you never knew you wanted this year.
Loves, Tuesday Girl


*before church I am going to my favorite pizza place/restaurant to get a meatball Parmesan hero and eat it in the car before church. Then I will get a second one for another day. This is my newsest pregnancy craving and any family member that ventures to my home must bring me one to gain entry into my house.

WWBJD?

I have one small gift left to buy for my mother. I knew what I needed, packed up my coupon for the store and headed out. This particular store was farther away then I would like to travel these days but for my Mom, I made the trek. When I got in the store, I circled it a few times looking for my item or someone who could help me. Neither were easy to find. When I finally found someone they told me the item I wanted was never sold it in that store. I had mistaken this store for the store where E & I both worked as managers, and met.
The store which broke us of our spirits and made us cry before we had to go to work each day.
Lets call this store, bloodbath & beyond.

So I went to bloodbath & beyond which is right by my house but is a place I never frequent because, well, the store itself almost killed me.
I called on the way to make sure what I wanted they had in stock. Some rude old lady told me they did, but when I go there I couldn't find it. Of course the only salesperson I found was the one I had already spoken to on the phone, she pointed out what she thought I was looking for.
It wasn't it.
Of course, I wanted to kick this lady in the vagina because making a pregnant woman go from store to store and find parking and actually lap these stores looking for something that apparently bloodbath & beyond likes to dangle in front of you in its stupid catalog but is sold out of it, is just crazy. (Of course I am partly to blame in this situation, but I am pregnant and tired and cranky, therefore everyone know that the blame is to be placed on someone else.)

I asked myself "what would baby Jesus do?" and since it is his birthday we are celebrating with gifts and such, no vagina kicking is allowed.
But! On Lincoln's birthday watch out, because if one person makes a false move, I am kicking something!

Perhaps She Can Call Dr. Phil?

Wow, lots of people hate Walmart. Then why is it the biggest retailer in the U.S.? I did notice Walmart had fabu prices on pantry items, but since mine is small and doesn't have a full grocery section I never go there.

Am I the only one who laughed when they found out Jamie Lynn Spears, who is 16, is pregnant? I don't mean to be cruel, but c'mon, who raised these girls? After Britney flailed and is still flailing wouldn't you take the youngest daughter, quit show biz and Fly your asses home to Louisiana? I love it that mama Spears is writing a parenting book, which understandably has been put "on hold". What gives her any authority to write a book about anything?

I just love how Britney was the poster child for a such a "good girl" as a teen and how she was a virgin. She broke up with one good guy and her whole world has been a hot mess ever since. That girl is just a hot mess.
If you are reading this mama Spears, my advice to you is circle the wagons, my friend. Gather ALL of your family together, out of the spotlight and circle the wagons.

Target So Kicks Walmart's Ass

I do not ever go to Walmart. So when the events of last week lead me to that store not once but twice, I got to recall why my ban on Walmart exists.
What is that place anyway? It is filled with people and situations I never see in real life, while I am out and about.

I had to buy something for a gift and I had seen online that Walmart had it the cheapest and they had it in stock, big bonus. So I headed there and had a relatively easy experience. Yesterday I had to go back to return it because my sister found the same item I bought $10 cheaper. So I went to return it.

The customer service desk was located right near the front door so I entered and got on the long ass line. I was then yelled at by a young lady in a wheelchair who was pissed at me that I didn't see her with my return when I walked in the door. Was I supposed to know this rule?
I had not and I didn't even see her when I walked in. I apologized for my lack of Walmart knowledge and crisis was averted.

The aisles are crowded, there seems to be an abnormal amount of people who cannot walk unassisted and there are no prices on the shelves.
I picked up the last ponyville teapot castle for my daughter, and couldn't find a price, (surprise!) I had checked online earlier, and had seen that it was at least $10 cheaper then anywhere else. So, I brought it up to the register and it rang up regular price. I told the woman that I saw it online for a different price and asked if they didn't have the same prices online as in the store or would they match the online price I saw. She mumbled something about online to store deals but clearly had no idea of what I was asking.

I left the stupid toy there.

Seriously what is up with this store? Are all Walmarts created equally as bad?
I love my Tarjay and promise to never cheat on it with it's redneck cousin Walmart ever again!

Gross

Things that gross me out about being a mother #43589:
I found a nail clipping from one of my kids in my hair last night.
I had clipped their nails hours before that.

So gross.

New Digs!

A HUGE shout out to Ro from The Blog Cafe. She did my old template and fitted me with this new one when my old sidebard went buggy for no reason.
They have premade templates and will work with you on custom orders too. Ro is fast, amazing and didn't kill me when I stalked her aboutmy blog problem.

Thank you Ro!

Questions Unanswered

My head is spinning with worries, holiday stuff left undone, strange cravings that go as fast as they came and pregnancy brain. I have so many questions that I can't answer. Maybe you can.

Do people really think Michael Vick got too harsh or a punishment?

Why do all of my maternity tops have 3/4 sleeves? Really, all of them!

Even though it can be such a great place to live, why does NJ suck so very much sometimes?

Why would my sister own any maternity shirts with horizontal stripes?

Can my ass spread that fast? Can I blame the wide ass on these pants?

How can my daughter only be four but acts like she is fourteen? I am in real trouble when she actually becomes a teenager! I am planning my escape now.

Why would my adorable blog just get all funky on me for no reason one day? I miss you sidebar! I am sorry I cannot fix you myself.

Consumerism at it's Best

I think I need to go back to my all TV is banned rule because my four year old daughter asked for a High School Musical DVD for Christmas this morning.

Where did she get that from? And, no, she is not getting it.

The Days Run Into Each Other

Our house is officially decorated for Christmas. The garland is hung, the tree was purchased and decorated, the cookie jars are placed just so.
I am not sure why, but I decorated half heartedly this year, I just wasn't into it. Well, I can guess why.
I have kids who are very into it though and so I did it for them.

Having E home every day was nice for the first 10 days. Now? Not so much. He is bored and depressed, I am bored and depressed but I am trying to fake it for the family. If I let these recent setbacks affect me then the whole family will be in the dumps. I need to keep my mood up for E and for the baby. I hope all this worrying, stress and holiday madness does not transfer to this baby. I don't want to go into premature labor and I really want a healthy child.

How is that for a cheery Christmas update?

Lunchbox Treats

This weekend I found myself at Walmart, which is an oddity since I rarely ever enter that store. I wasn't feeling good and I wanted something to eat, the sugary, the better. I stumbled on Hostess pies! I hadn't seen them in years. It brought me right back to being in elementary school. Sometimes those pies would find its way into my lunch box as a kid.
Those were good days. Cherry was my favorite followed by lemon and apple was my sister's favorite.

Then I started thinking about all my favorite treats my mom would send for us for lunch. Those were long before the school lunches you can get in elementary school now. Although the lunches my mom prepared were always healthy occasionally we would get a "treat" with our healthy snack. Individual bags of doritos, ring dings (when they were individually wrapped in foil, the best) and homemade, tiny cherry cheesecakes. Sometimes I would even get a special note on my napkin from my mom.
I toted those special lunches with care in my metal lunch boxes* and then later, my much lighter Strawberry Shortcake or Muppet plastic lunchbox.

What was your favorite treats that you got for lunches? Did you carry them in lunchboxes or were you too cool for that and used a paper bag?



* A stupid boy named George hit me over the head with his even more stupid Star Wars metal lunchbox one day on the bus. I was in third grade and it was the only time I saw stars from an injury. What a dick.

Santa is the Best Parenting Tool I Have Right Now

My hair looks fabu and I am so thankful I don't have to stare at my roots and my greys on a daily basis. At least for another 8 weeks. My green salon was cool but different, I am now used to big huge hair salons and this one is small with a small staff. It reminded me of the NYC salons I would frequent when I was a DINK and had lots of money to spend on my hair.
I didn't have anything to eat, I have no idea why, I was hungry.

I went to the doctor's yesterday for my monthly visit and I was scared about how much weight I have gained in the past 5 weeks. You have to account for Thanksgiving and leftover Halloween candy, so I was really nervous for that stupid weigh in. I don't know why because I never look at the scale, I always avert my eyes. I can't handle the truth. I am a wuss.
My doctor didn't peep about it, so I feel fine. The only one who gave me a hard time was this nurse practitioner I see sometimes. She never had kids so I take her "advice" to lay off all fruit and I discard it as soon as it leaves her mouth.

My Mom is having her annual Christmas party tomorrow and Santa will be there. This is enough ammo for my kids to behave for the past week. I wish I thought of that sooner. I wonder if it will work for the 51 weeks after Christmas? I better not, when you get a new one that works like that you have to use it sparingly.
That is an FYI to all you new parents out there.
You are welcome.

Hair and Big Bellys

This is from my view. Feet still visible, but barely. Any day know I will be asking my kids to tie my shoes for me.
Not to self: teach children how to tie shoes.

My hair came out awesome. I have sufficient blondness to disguise my grey hairs the kids gave me. Kudos to Tara my hair girl. That now her new title: hair girl.
Also? How much do you admire me for posting this picture of myself without makeup? Really, I should win some award.
Lets hope E get s a job soon because I think botox is calling my name. Hello, forehead wrinkles!

Green Hairgasms

I didn't sleep at all last night due to the fact that the wind outside sounded like it was going to tear the roof off. That coupled with the sound of our Christmas lights banging against the house the entire night. E slept like a rock and I wonder how that is possible.

Today I am going to the salon to get a touch up on my highlights. I feel extremely guilty about this because I shouldn't spend the money on my stupid hair but my roots are horrible and I can't stand looking at myself for one more day. My colorist and stylist moved to a "green" salon where they don't use terrible chemicals and leave out the formaldehyde in nail polish and such. They used environmentally friendly building construction, have energy efficient lighting and every packaging is in recyclable materials. I am excited because I feel like I am doing my small part to help the world and because it doesn't look any more expensive then my former salon. I am also looking forward to the shampooing of my hair which will give me a hairgasm.
OK fine, I am mostly excited because I read they have "butlered hors d’oeuvres".

I will just make up for the guilt on spending money we don't have on eating my body weight in hors d'oeuvres.
That is going to be a lot of mini quiches!

It Never Stops

Me: I haven't been feeling the baby move that much yet today and its making me nervous. Do something to make the baby move.

E: Sex?

Me: Your first instinct is to have sex to make the baby move?

E: Yes.

Me: You never lose that drive in any circumstance, do you?

E: Nope.

Me: I was thinking more along the lines of putting your ipod on my stomach

E: I guess that can work too.




Sometimes I think I get men and it is exchanges like these that remind me I am clueless.

Christmas Meme

This is a Christmas meme from domestic chicky. I don't usually do memes but I really like this one and it is better then writing about how my husband fell through the attic into the garage yesterday. My blood pressure will be back to normal one day, right? Right?!


1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? wrapping paper
2. Real tree or artificial? real, I love the smell of a real tree
3. When do you put up the tree? Usually two weeks before Christmas
4. When do you take the tree down? after New Year’s
5. Do you like eggnog? It is O.K.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? A Mandy Doll
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? no
8. Hardest person to buy for? My in laws
9. Easiest person to buy for? My daughter
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I never got a gift I didn't like somewhat
11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Mail usually, this year, email
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? usually right after thanksgiving
4. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? nope
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My mom's roast beef
16 Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear
17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night
18 Travel at Christmas or stay home? We usually stay home and for once [people come to us
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Yes
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A angel, we always had an angel growing up so that is what I bought for my house
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning!
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Mean people ruining the reason of Christmas
23. Favorite Christmas tradition? Playing Christmas music and dancing as we set up and decorate our tree and house.
24. Up early or sleeping in? My kids are EARLY risers. Really Early!
25. Who hands out the gifts? E
26. Does Santa wrap your gifts? All of the gifts are wrapped.
27. Do you tell the Christmas story? No
28. Do you leave cookies for Santa? Yes, cookies and milk. He usually leave a note to the kids thanking them.

Just Another Day

I loved reading about your favorite names and name suggestions in the last post. Many of your favorites I like as well.
Being I have such a large family many of them are taken already! Really picking a name for someone to have for the rest of their life is hard for me. I wouldn't want to name our child something that E hates, but I know I have the final decision. I told him when he produces something from his body, he can name that whatever his heart desires!

*****************
We let the kids help us decorate the house for Christmas and I know E is regretting it and I am getting there. The constant touching of the musical Christmas items in our house is enough to drive anyone batty and when they touch them all at once, I want to run from the house screaming! E hates Christmas music so it is even worse for him. Most of the things we took out needed new batteries and I replaced SOME of them, but the others will have to go without until maybe next year.
There is only so much a person can take.

The Name Game

My children have decided we need their help on deciding a name for this baby. Of course I am willing to listen since I am the worst with names and so is E. We are so picky and if we make a list of baby names we like, in the end we figure out that we hate them all.
The one name we both really like for a girl is classic but has turned popular in the last few years. That turns me off to a name. I never wanted my kid to be like the 15 Jennifers in my classes, known as Jen lastinitial. That is why I am so glad I didn't name R, Emma, which is SO popular right now. She came very close to being Emma and although I like R's name I wish I went a little more traditional with her name. I love L's name though and would never change it. I couldn't it was the only boy's name we could agree on.

This time if it is a boy he will be named after my father, so that decision is made. We are still on the hunt for a girl's name and the one I really like Charlotte, E hates. He is a pest.

Here are some of my children's suggestions:
R: For a girl we could name the baby Pink or Aria (wft?)
Me: Those are nice names.
L: If it is a boy we could name him Frankie
Me: Frankie? Where did you hear that name?
L: After Frankenstein!
Me: umm, I don't think so.

So do you have any suggestions for girl's names for me, or do you have a name that you heard and was so terrible it made you laugh? I mean like naming your baby after a monster?

Cry Me a River

When you are going through a crisis (i.e. losing your job, the only income coming into a home with 2 kids and one on the way) it would be best to go through it when you are not gestating. Not that E is gestating, I am.
Of course bad things happen all the time even if they are at inopportune times, but really when my hormones are going crazy, and I cry over the fact that I hate what my husband made for dinner, it is not the best time to be supportive.

I am trying to be supportive, I really am, but I break down and cry at least once a day. I am starting to get uncomfortable in bed these days but that is not the reason I am up tossing and turning in the middle of the night. My mind wanders and I worry about something happening to the baby before the supplemental insurance kicks in, I worry we have enough money to pay our bills, I worry about buying gifts for my kids never mind my family, I worry E will never snap out of this depression. I worry about it all.

Now I wish I cried over fun things like Hallmark commercials and Bush's inappropriate facial expressions.
So, what made you laugh today? Cheer me the f&ck up!

Stupid Mistake

I am financially challenged for obvious reasons, so I decided to go and get a few things for the kids on Friday.
Yes, black Friday.
Yes, I am stupid.
E set the alarm for 5:30 and I woke up, dressed, put on some minimal makeup and drive to my local Target.
Worst. Mistake. Of. My. Life.

Those people were animals. I was not going near the electronic department but everyone else was and nearly shoved me down to get there faster then well, maybe me. Being visibly pregnant did not deter people from pushing their carts into my stomach, stepping over me and pushing. I was just there for a few toys, and these people acted like there was a pot of gold hidden somewhere in the store!
I will not do that again, those people made me sick.

Did you go out on black Friday? Is there a special something you do to not get trampled?

Thankful

I am thankful for my kids even though they woke me up very early with their fighting over something stupid.
I am thankful for my home, the one my husband and I made together.
I am thankful that my beautiful kids are sweet, caring, loving and so smart, E and I raised them. Nobody can take credit for that but us.
I am thankful we have food today and even in rough times like the one we are going through now we know we have family that would help us out so we always would have food.
I am thankful that my kids are quietly enjoying the Thanksgiving day parade.
I am thankful my entire family is healthy.
I am thankful to have a husband that worries about us so much and all he wants to do is be a great provider, I am thankful he didn't kill his boss last week because he would be in jail right now.
I am thankful for my flabby, stretch marked belly because it is currently housing a healthy fetus and provided a warm safe place for two other beautiful big babies!
I am thankful for my life no matter how many ups and downs I have. It is my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Turkey Day

I am glad Thanksgiving is upon us because Thanksgiving dinner is my pregnancy craving. Funny enough it was when I was pregnant with my twins also. It was much more pronounced then because I would call my mother every day confirming what we were going to have for dinner and making sure she bought enough because I wanted A LOT of leftovers and asking her opinion on dessert a million times.
I don't know how I only gained 19.5 lbs that time around!

I am a huge fan of white trash green bean casserole and sweet potatoes. Or yams, what is the difference anyway?
I also HAVE to have cranberry sauce out of a can. I will make homemade but the jellied kind out of the can with the lines on it? Well, that is just old school and that is how we kick it.
Tell me, what do you look forward to most on Thanksgiving?

Just Another Monday

My in-laws were here for a long weekend so we had some added stress with that visit. It wasn't this bad this time around because they stayed with my sister in law and her family instead of with us. Some people asked what did I end up giving my mother in law for her birthday after I put out a plea for help. I ended up giving her a gift certificate for a local knitting/fabric store. She loved it.
Thank you, peeps.

We are having Thanksgiving here at home with just the four of us this year. I didn't want to travel the 2+ hours to my family's house for dinner so I will just cook for us. E and I are looking forward to it.
We are also trying to keep our spirits up because we know this is going to be a slow week for resumes, interviews and phone screens. E is much better then he was, I did allow him a two day mope/feeling sorry for himself/woe is me/let me drink to numb the pain fest and then I cut him off. It won't do any of us any good, we are going forward now. Everyone says bigger and better will come of this and we just hope so.
He really deserves it.


Go enter my contest.

Another Day...............

Thank you guys, really. Thank you for your comments, emails and internet love. It still amazes me strangers care about my life and feel for me, but it shouldn't surprise me because I get involved in your lives too. I feel for you too.

E will get a job, hopefully soon. He is a great worker, his home office even told him he was the best in his district in a ton of areas.
The best.
But their hands were tied, she got him on something she knew he couldn't defend, something that everyone does, something that she told his district to do if they needed to, but used it against him when she had nothing else.

This is a terrible time of year for anyone to be out of work. The fact that he cannot just take any job, he needs one with a car like he had or with a huge pay increase to buy another car is tough. He is the best and he and I have been working on all the leads we can. I can't imagine the stress he is under being the sole supporter of our family. I know my stress levels are crazy.

In the meantime, we are trying to be thankful for our health, the health of our children and our little one growing in my body. We are thankful for what we have but we still just want a break in life. One year without something life altering happening. Just one.

People have asked me how they can help, just being here and lending support helps so much. Keep writing on your blogs because I need all the laughter I can get. Visit my other sites as much as you can because I get paid on visitors, maybe you can even link me up, let me know if you do and I will reciprocate.

From Bad to Worse

So after a year long witch hunt by my husband's boss she finally got him a technicality and fired him yesterday. Fired him because of something stupid, something he told HR was going to happen because he knew for months she was out to fire him. HR didn't protect him and I had to pick him up like a dog on the side of the road yesterday after she ambushed him and confiscated his computer and car.
Right before Thanksgiving, knowing I am pregnant and we have 4 year old twins.

Nice.

I have not one nice thing to say about this lady after I have been hearing for months what she says to him, how she talks to him and what goes on. She wanted the top salesman in her area fired because she didn't like that he knew what he was doing and didn't need her help every little step of the way.
he is a hard worker, never calls out sick and does his job very well, has even received awards, but I guess that doesn't matter. How did we know this was coming, well she has done it to his coworkers before.
It is taking everything I have not to go to her house and beat the crap out of her. Really.

Since neither of us have ever lost a job we had to figure out how to collect unemployment while I watch my husband push back tears wondering how he will buy Christmas gifts for his kids or how he can pay for my doctors visits.

I wonder how those things will happen too, but I have to be strong for him.


Does anyone want to hire a pregnant lady?

The No Good Very Bad Day

I am having a very stressful, worry filled day. Perfect for any pregnant woman! I can't discuss it partly because of I am not sure what I think is going to happen will happen and partly because I think if I speak of it or write it down it will come true.

Sometimes I just wish my family and I could catch a break. I really, really do. When does continuous bad luck turn into just having a crappy life?
I may very well be at that point.

Happy Monday

No real post today because my friends are coming over for a visit. One of them has never visited me in the almost 5 years I have lived here. The other two only have been here twice.
I have been up since 6am baked orange muffins, baked cheesecake brownies and finished cleaning the house.

I am already tired and it is 9:15am.

Go check out my other site and enter to win a cd!

Stinkin' Strike

Wow, you ladies go to long lengths to get groomed during your pregnancy. I am impressed. You know I think we groom more for our doctor's then our husbands, but whatever the motivation, our men have it made.

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Let's talk about the writers strike, shall we? It is all over the news and as disturbing as it is for me not to have my new shows on, what is more disturbing to me is the footage of these striking writers. No, I am not talking about Jay Leno bringing them bagels. (bagels? Jay, you are worth billions of dollars, hows about a full catered breakfast?)
Have you heard them chanting on the picket line?

"Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Management can’t write the show!"

"Webisodes and DVD, we won’t write ‘em, not for free!"
and my personal fav:

"We write the storyas for Eva Longoria"

Storyas??? These are writers? They can't come up with anything better?
This cannot bode well for them. No wonder Grey's Anatomy sucks this year.

Also? If Lost doesn't come back with all new episodes in February after me waiting forever, the writers are going to have more to worry about then getting paid for webisodes.

I'm just sayin'.

That is What They Mean by "Bad Times"

I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
I knew it was just a matter of time.
It can't be helped, it happens to the best of us.
I just didn't know it could happen to me........so soon.

It is OK to admit it, I know I am not alone. I know you, the blogging community, will support me.
People, my belly is now so big that I cannot :ahem: groom properly.
Ladies you know what I am talking about. I am not the agile woman of yesteryear and combine that with me being bigger this second pregnancy and you have yourself a potent cocktail.
Indeed.

My usual grooming habits have fallen wayside and I have now resorted to doing a blind shave in the shower. Yes, it is risky and I know it is not long before I have to give this up too. This time around I am going to have to ask for help sooner. I am going to have to send in reinforcements.
I have to get E to help me.

I felt bad about this last time around, I felt like I was making him do this heinous act. This time around, I feel like it is his duty.
It is the least he could do.
If I have to squeeze a large object out of a small hole then he can at least make it look pretty.

Can I get an amen?

Crafty Lady, I Am Not

I have told you all about my fascination with recipe books and blogs, that I like to call suburban mom porn, but I have another fetish.
Crafting blogs.

Oh, how I yearn to sew and crochet and knit like these bloggers. I want to make my kids clothes, costumes and curtains like my mom did with us. I want to make them hats, mittens and sweaters like my mother in law does for my kids. The little bit of knitting I know how to do is because my mother in law taught me, and although I will deny every saying this and erase it immediately if you try and use it against me, sometimes I wish my mother in law lived closer so she can really teach me these things.

My mother doesn't sew anymore, she is too busy. I haven't sewn anything but a missing button on pants in years. In fact I would love a sewing machine, but I never find the money to buy one, what with kids needing clothes and shoes and FOOD all of the time!

I wish one of you crafty ladies lived near me to teach me these cool things. I would love to have someone take a knitting or crocheting class with me.
Instead I wonder if I will be stuck always knitting pot holders.

My Life on the Skidz

I have said it before and I will say it again, daylight savings time is for the young and childless. For the mothers, the elderly, for the people who have to work early in the morning, and for some fathers, DST is torture.

We are going to change the subject to poop now. Don't say you haven't been warned.
Why am I having to clean poop stains from not only my son's underwear but also from my husband's? Now my son is too busy to wipe well. He has been instructed to call for an adult to wipe his hiney when a poop is involved. He does this, sometimes. Although I am with him 24 hours a day sometimes I am not aware he is pooping. Thus sometimes there is a skid mark of sorts in his underwear.
Now my husband on the other hand, is a grown man. This morning a saw a stain on his linen pants* he put on when he woke up. I guess procuring a pair of underwear before putting these pants was too much work. Thus a stain was born.
Was he embarrassed? Yes, but not enough to never let a wet fart out again, I am sure.

Please let me know that I am not the only wife and mother that has to throw away stained underwear and scrub the ones that are not that bad off.
Please tell me that skid marks are a part of your life too.


* I don't know why either.

Two Words: Jersey Hair

I just wish I could find pictures of my biggest beauty blunder. Of course growing up in the 80s there were so many to chose from. The crimped hair, the stretch pants with shirts short in the front and long in the back, keds with wigwam socks, the colored mascara (why??) the big clips we wore on the side of our heads, and the big ass Jersey hair.

Although my hair was not the biggest in New Jersey or even in my school for that matter, it still was big. I am not sure how the trend of "ratting" your hair out as far as it could go then spraying it with half a can of aqua net came from, but Jersey girls had it perfected. It required many cans of hairspray, various combs, combined with extra long bangs and a steady hand. This hairstyle was no joke. We are solely responsible for the holes in the ozone. Jersey hair was a phenomenon. It was everywhere, on MTV, in magazine heck even Madonna had Jersey hair at one point, and she was Madonna, she could do no wrong.

I look back at those pictures of myself and cringe.
Why didn't someone intervene?
Why couldn't we just say no to the hairspray?
Why couldn't we let our bangs fall as they may?

I wonder what the craze will be when my daughter becomes a teenager. I know one thing though, I will never laugh at her, because I know deep in my closet hidden below many piles of junk is proof that I was a teenager once too.
And I did not know better either.



This post was for the new book Beauty Confidential (which I will add to my Christmas list) and Parent Bloggers Network. Go check out other people's worst beauty moments. Lets hope some are worse then mine!

Halloween Fun

Candy coma. Too much fun. Send veggies to try and counteract the sugar.

Too much candy leftover. May throw it all out.

Boo

Boo!
Thank goodness no Halloween candy came in this house until last night because I have already eaten enough for a week! I also cried because E put the mini peanut butter cups in with the candy to give out instead of in the freezer for my own personal stash. Stupid hormones!

Dash and Minnie Mouse are ready to go out and get more candy then they have seen in their lives. We will be eating a bowl of veggies for lunch and dinner to combat the junk we will be eating the rest of the week. It is good that I still have my strange asparagus craving. Speaking of asparagus, how much do I need this?
Parents can't trick or treat but everyone knows we beg for our kid's candy or steal some after they go to bed. What are you hoping your kids bring home for you this year? I would love a nice Baby Ruth.
I know you want to come by my house for candy we are giving away full size candy bars. Coveted by every trick or treater!

*Check back later for our trick or treat pictures. Also you can get Halloween tips and tricks here and don't forget to leave me your ghostly experiences here.

Scare Me

Yeah. I couldn't see any genitalia of any sort. Oh well, only 20 more weeks to go before we find out.

I love this time of year because there are great scary movies and haunted house shows on television. I love that stuff and always have. I am the girl who would scare herself to death by reading scary books while babysitting alone in a strange house. I have no idea why I would do that to myself but I loved to be scared. Now that I am older and slightly wiser, real life is scary enough so I try to slow down on the scary movies, but a good ghost story always thrills me.
I have never had any real ghostly experience but of course some of you have right?
Scare me, tell me about your ghostly experiences.

20 Weeks

Yesterday we went to this fine place. Storybook land is an amusement park for younger kids with rides they can all go on, especially my tall kids, they met all the height requirements. Having there been some height restriction failures in the past, I know how distraught they can be when denied access to a ride.
This was our first time at this particular park and the kids had a ball but I have to say some of the attractions were creepy.
It is an older park, so things are not brand new but there is something about an old stuffed animal wolf who "comes to life" to tell how he ate Grandma and is now dressed in her nightgown.
No wonder kids have nightmares.

Tonight is my 20 week ultrasound. This parasite and I have made it halfway through and it was rough but here we are. It feels like I have been pregnant forever.
We decided when we had the twins that if we ever had another child, we would not want to know the sex of the baby.
That is terrific in theory. I am a person who needs everything to be just right. I am a planner, a thinker, a person who worries that if we do not find out the sex of this baby how on Earth will I know what clothes to wash or which color crib sheets to buy? My husband, the kind soul, told me to find out but just not tell him.
How would that work out? It wouldn't.

So tonight we will go and make sure our baby is growing OK, the heart is beating, and the baby is healthy. I will of course, be checking out genitalia. That is if I can see or tell anything, something I have no hope in. I couldn't even tell I had two babies my very first ultrasound, it could have been a cat's ultrasound for all I know.
Did you find out your baby's sex and why or why not?

Checkup

My doctors want me to rest because of the pains I have been having. No lifting, no picking up my kids, no sex (ouch) and resting as much as I can for the next week until my next checkup.
Oh, and I gained 6lbs in 1 month. I celebrated by eating a piece of cheesecake after my salad. What a disgusting big fatty I am!

I am depressed about my weight now and I guess it will stay that was until after this baby comes out.
Lets hope it is a REALLY big baby and along with that lets also hope I decide to have a C section.

On Such a Rainy Day

I am so glad to hear that my body will never be just mine again. So reassuring.

Speaking of poking and prodding around my bod, I am going to a doctor's appointment today (I know you thought I was going to get dirty, ha, I tricked you), my scheduled appointment isn't until Tuesday, but I have been having bad pains in my stomach and back all day.
I shouldn't say ALL day because it goes away when I lay down but when I stand up or do anything, it is back.
Of course now that I turned into one of those pregnant ladies, you know the ones who call for any little stupid thing, I am sure the pains will go away.
I want to be safe so I will go.
I actually have been worrying because I have not felt the baby move yet. My 20 week ultrasound is not until Monday but it will be reassuring to hear the heartbeat today.

It is always nice to hear a heartbeat.

Can My Boobs Ever Be Just Mine?

Thank you guys for your gift suggestions on my last post. There are some great ideas that I think I will use this upcoming year.
I also think I have to just remind myself that maybe she will never like my gifts or me. Is that OK? Well, it will have to be because I can't control it.

Of course there are far worse mother in laws out there then mine. But I do have to give up my dream in law situation because that is just not the family I married into.

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My daughter pokes my boobs every morning and says "wow, Mom, your baby is getting so big"
Then I explain (again) that the baby is growing way south of where she is poking.
It makes me wonder when will I get my body back and when do people stop poking my breasts and inspecting my body?

Accept My Gifts, Accept Me

It is that time of year again, the one I dread. No, it is not because Halloween is around the corner, and it is not that the leaves are falling. What is upcoming is worse then Thanksgiving with no cranberry sauce.
It is my mother in law's birthday.

This year my in laws will be here in NJ for her birthday. Every year since I have dated E, I have given her gifts for mother's day, christmas and her birthday. Every year I get shot down. I fail. I don't get "it".

Cardigans like I always see her wear? I get a "that is nice".
Perfume? She doesn't wear it.
New Knife set? (I know, I was reaching) Nada.
Golf shirts? Wrong size
Manicure/pedicure/ massage gift certificate? She doesn't like anyone touching her body.
Custom made gorgeous topiary for her house? How will she get it home on the plane?
Let E buy the gift? He is as clueless about his mom as I am.
Pictures of the kids? BINGO

Pictures of our kids have been a popular and well loved gift since our kids were born. Of course they would be, she is a doting Grandmother.
I have given these gifts in every form: framed, personalized books, photo albums and collages. I think her comment last time I spoke to her was " I am running out of room on my walls and tables" was a hint to knock off the prints. You cannot blame me though, I was on a roll, she finally liked my gifts.
If she liked my gifts that means she liked me, right?

I want my mother in law to like me. I have know idea why after some of the things I heard her say about me. I know I am a good person, I am a good wife, I love her son and I know I am a good mother.
It must be hard to have another woman in your son's life, I am not looking forward to it myself, but don't you want your son to be happy?
I guess at the root of it, I just want to be accepted.

Now, now my friends, I have a dilemma. her birthday is in three weeks and I am desperate. I turn to you wise, internets for help. What should I get my mother in law for her birthday? She is retired, lives in Florida, likes chicken "things", likes to play golf, knits, doesn't wear makeup or perfume, is active, likes bad TV sitcoms and has three kids and four grand kids.
Any ideas?